Why aren't female bards more common?

Wow, case in point. Well done user.

Kiss-Shot is confirmed virgin, though.

>uh, sexist and racist much?

Isn't there a different name for female bards? Like songstress or something?

All through my college days, the gaming groups always had one chick who went bard and did nothing but tried to Mesmerize every man when not in combat. In combat most of them would just stand there and not even play a blessing tune. Their whole good time was imagining how it would feel to entice every man in the room.

As a young neckbeard, I couldn't understand why they weren't trying to kick asses and take names, and I spent many nights lying awake alone ignoring their phone calls in order to try to figure it out. I think I figured out those were booty calls when I turned 38 years old and MIT mailed me my improved wizard hat

Nah, she was a bard through and through

I dunno. Yeah she did some singing but it wasn't great and her big deal was that she was vastly better looking than most others.
That doesn't change the fact she was a literal whore and thats what her main occupation was not singer and dancer like a bard.

In my experience, I've seen more female bards than male. Granted, I mostly watch APs, not played fantasy TRPGs where Bards were an available class, so maybe the people who entertain for a living/profitable hobby are more likely to give a Bard a go. (And the ones who do tend to be TRPG newbies and are less likely to have preconceived notions of Bards.)

But just to take a stab at why you might not have, here are some guesses:

- "Bards suck." culture. If a dude is going to play a chick, then he's not going to play a maligned class on top of playing a chick - which his group might say something about in the first place. If a chick is going to play a chick, she'd probably avoid playing the maligned classes. Otherwise, if she really wants to play a Bard, she'll at least play a dude - and only the Great Autismo is going to prod cross-gender sexytimes to happen.

- See also "chicks playing chicks" above. Many women are used to being social creatures IRL and are more likely to play meatshields than faces because IRL they're not often give the opportunity to punch people for no reason. Grognard gamer chicks typically sneer at girls who want to play "pretty" characters, and Bards are only a step above Clerics in terms of what will get the old lip curl.

- There are typically two genders, and a huge amount of classes. Gender distribution amongst them doesn't have to be equal. As far as I see, more people want to make female Barbarians than male (probably because ladies enjoy the simple fist-to-face nature and dudes enjoy the excuse to have a female character they can barely dress and get away with it as something other than fap bait) and Paladins are more often male than female (likely because women are less likely to want to play with the idea of strong religious ideals - sounds too much like SJW to those who aren't and SJWs tend to play Druids where they can lecture in character more freely).

>Blonde

literal shit tier

>wanting an STD cesspool with worst color hair and almost worst color skin.

> able to see her nips through her Shirt
I Got Promoted

Guys who like white girls are like people who's favorite food is fucking pizza

so you're saying you want to be a special snowflake? alright, i got ya.

What's wrong with pizza faggot!!

I bet she fucks like a succubus two ablutions away from redemption

>Not liking pizza
Your opinion is disregarded. Get out. Out I say! OUT!

Pizza is ok, but it's fucking basic and if its you favorite food then you suck at food

I bet you think that pepperoni and cheese are the only flavors that matter. It's all about BBQ pizza with bacon and steak bits.

But I do have a fondness for salmon nigiri.

What do you mean, you can put whatever the fuck you want on it, pepperone ain't the only topping pleb!!!!!!

user have you tried spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes and artichoke hearts, I'm a meat eater, but that combo is my fav!!!!!!

>Troll gets no response with "blonde" bait.
>Troll tries "white girls + pizza" bait.
>Veeky Forums ignores "white girls" bait and goes ham on "pizza" bait.

That said, I count my favorite food as pizza. I like that I can agree to pizza when deciding on food with a group and then get whatever the fuck I want to eat on it based on my mood at the time. Closest food after that is soup and there aren't many soup restaurants, much less soup take-out. So fuck that guy.

I like gyros, does that count?

Means your less basic than the pizza people

Because its fucking Pizza! Its everyones favorite! any mentions to the contrary are pure lies.

Because girls are terrible singers

...

>literally 80% chance of herpes not mentioning the above 50% possibilities of pretty much every other like HPV for example
There's plenty of reasons to not fuck blacks i just choose the statistically sound reasons.
Oddly enough natives are the least risky and whites are a close second.

I hear they have sharp knees too.

...

You can google those stats. 80% of all blacks in america have herpes and out of those people only 30% know they actually have it.

So a bard

Not sure whether Troll side A (let's post photos of beautiful women and insult those who don't salivate) or Troll side B (racist twerp) is more irritating.

Congratulations - you've tied for best loser. Print this out and pin it to your fridge. Probably the most noteworthy thing you've done in years, after all.

Roleplaying as a playboy is empowering, while roleplaying as a slut is degrading.

Bards are already female. All of them. They disguise it with false facial hair, hence the name of the class: Bard, a corruption of "beard".

I thought lots of girls played female bards, myself included? Maybe it's just that male players don't typically play female bards or something?

I love my little skald.
>She thinks she can melee.
Isn't she precious.

tgs are male dominated, males tend to want to give hot dickings not take hot dickings. On a more serious note, most people play the gender they have IRL

Being a sought after slut is empowering, it's why a lot of women do it.

I still don't get why people on Veeky Forums think of bards as being sex-crazed maniacs though. Is that what a high charisma modifier means to Veeky Forums?

Jokes on you, I like to imagine pure waifus being defiled

She had some points in pole dance.

There's a difference between empowering and enjoying being degraded.

Fuck you, all of my Bards are played like Freddy Mercury.

Don't worry, it only lasts until they're 28 and then it's bippity-boppity-boo time to start white-passing!

>white-passing
But that's even better

>implying a woman having sex is degrading

>tfw you want to play a bard like a quixotic knight
>tfw the stereotype for bards is a promiscuous musician
>tfw the character is a dandy more interested in slaying dragons than wooing ladies
>tfw no group

>americans
>talking about pizza
You guys literally have no idea what you are talking about.

>two genders
Get a load of this shitlord

So what would the favourite food of someone who has a thing for albinos be?

white pizza

>"Pizza is italian!"
>requires tomatoes
>tomatoes are native to Mexico

>He doesn't know the joy of a good 'go 'za with some 'roni and 'ge

And what would the toppings of that be?

So far all I got are pale Greek cheese and coconut.

native tomatoes are not edible.

As opposed to those other tomatoes?

>paper-thin, lukewarm, soggy shit with toppings just thrown in there randomly
>we did it first therefore it's better lol

ADVENTURE
ENDING
PREGNANCIES

Opposed to the ones that got imported and then selectively grown.

You're thinking of the play/novel, not the movie to which op is referring.

So when did that happen? Before 500 BC?

>doesn't know about lambskin condoms
>abortifacients
>also there's literally magic

>inedible
>aztecs had already domesticated them by 500BC

Nice trips tho

As in "object verb subject" sentence or "adjective object" phrase?

>not continuing your adventure anyway
your plot armor basically turns you into jackie chan at that point

because of creeps like OP

somebody hasnt watched vikings season 4

>implying
Surrender to Cosa Nostra flavour.

I mean, sure, I'd hit that, but to be fair I'm desperate.

Okay, but dude, have you ever had a fucking pizza? From the sound of it you've never really taken the Costanza route to combining food and sex.

>albino
>blue eyes

I call bullshit

Mozzarella, swiss, garlic, chicken breast, usually. Feta would be fine, coconut fuck no.

1. They're dancers
2. They're sluts

>Morons think being a bard means being promiscuous
Morons? In many societies (including the East Roman Empire) being a singer or an actor/actress meant the same as being a prostitute. Nominally Theodora the Whore was never a whore, she was an "actress". Just like how some modern day whores call themselves "escorts" or people who provide a "girlfriend experience" or whatever.

It's all window dressing mate.

>Those same morons also think a female PC being promiscuous means the player is inviting them to a Magical Realm.
Women already ruin the group dynamics in an otherwise all-male group. Promiscuous women even moreso. If this wasn't the case, the saying "bros b4 hoes" wouldn't exist because it'd be common sense. Gangsta's don't tell eachother "don't forget to breathe, mah nigga", do they?

kissless virgin detected

Not an argument

I think we can all agree the best type of bard is the one that travels with the group to record their exploits in story and song, spending their time at the tavern regaling audiences about the mighty fighter's martial prowess or the wizard's reality-defying spells. The best example of this is, of course, Dandelion from The Witcher, who is mostly to blame for creating Geralt's legend.

Of course, the second greatest duty of the bard is being the ultimate wingman; getting yourself laid is easy, why not make it a bit of a challenge by helping the Charisma 7 barbarian out by introducing him to a woman that would really like to feel his muscles, or helping the awkward female rogue meet a dashing bardic friend from the academy?

I've only known one bard in all my campaigns
>it was a female

A bard isn't any singer or actor, dumbass. Skalds, Bards, Griots were sacred court performers, not street jugglers.

Do bards have to be repressed nerd power fantasies of sexual isolation?
Can't they just be loud assholes strumming away of a lute and drink themselves stupid?
Do bards have to some kind of porthole to a magical realm?

I always got the impression that they should be charming and gregarious, but to what ends they use these abilities is up to them.

>Do bards have to be repressed nerd power fantasies
You mean just like literally every other class? D&D is a gigantic nerd power fantasy and there's literally nothing wrong with that.

I want tumblr and their demonization of power fantasies to leave.

The emphasis was on the sexual isolation
I understand escapism

Just because it would be degrading to have sex with you doesn't make it that way for everyone

In that case, you can't argue for debauchery without sexual debauchery. A bard that gets into taverns, drinks himself into a coma, gets into barfights but displays his purity ring and stutters that he's saving himself for marriage when a drunk barwench fondles his package needs to have a really convoluted set of morals. An interesting set of morals from a roleplay perspective, but convoluted nonetheless.

If they live a life of debauchery, fornication comes with it at some point.

I could always dismiss any kind of sexuality presented since it's not my thing
I'm sure the rest of the group could do without as well

prude

I just want a female Elan

...

Why do people just arbitrarily claim other anons are american based on no evidence aside from the fact they disagree with them?

american detected

No.