The room around you is dim, lit only by the flickering light of a computer screen that illuminates only dust and battered anime-girl figurines. Nobody but you has stepped foot into this room since you first made it your abode, curling into it and covering ankle-deep with your own excess and excrement like a toad or a particularly unpleasant snail in need of shell.
The only sun you've seen in months is the image of Pelor from the stack of old 3.5 rulebooks that you're currently using as a footstool. They're useless for playing now, covered in congealed sweat and whatever other foul-smelling concoctions ooze from mounds of unwashed flesh. But that doesn't matter, right? It's not like you ever played them in the first place, did you?
You need to have friends to play roleplaying games.
Before you is the command sent down by your leader, Mod Prime. It is time to terminate all the quests.
>Do it.
>Autofellate yourself first, as is proper.
>Object and find within yourself a shred of human dignity.
>Post a cringe-y message in the mod chatroom.
>Masturbate furiously.
Luke Lopez
>Autofellate yourself first, as is proper.
Hudson Evans
>Post a cringe-y message in the mod chatroom. Isn't that pretty much what this thread is, just more public?
Jack Campbell
>Post a cringe-y message in the mod chatroom.
Ethan Diaz
I can't believe you are not treating this with the respect the topic deserves
Wyatt Scott
>Post a cringe-y message in the mod chatroom.
Robert Lewis
Seriously, all you shitposters are going to make me upset. You wouldn't like me when I'm upset. I'll report each and every one of you
Jackson Evans
Your post sails abound the board, cringed at by every other Mod, and boy is it godawful.
Within every fiber of your being you redouble your efforts and post again, but alas, MOD ULTRA PRIME's hunger cannot be sated. The coverup for the dice god ritual sacrifice, first created by the Nazi Mod of world war II, to erase the furries and the excessive fiction threads, must now be done again or all dice actions for traditional games will forever be merc'd.
Yet still ULTRA PRIME leaves the decision up to you.
>DO IT. YOU MUST APPEASE THE DICE GODS.
>Don't. All uses of dice in the future will lean towards the worst spectrum imaginable... chaos.
>Masturbation is still an option, it's not like you get paid for this.
Sebastian Phillips
>Kill self
Aaron Jenkins
Excuse me, please respect the thread rules I clearly laid down or I'll have to report you.
Nathaniel Reed
You're not the boss of me.
I AM DA BOSS.
Please respect the thread rules I clearly laid down or I'll have to report you.
Joshua Perez
test
Eli Wilson
You can't just walk in and put the word 'QM' in your name field and say its your quest! There are rules!
Jason Bell
>Masturbation is still an option, it's not like you get paid for this.
Benjamin King
Mods! MOOOOOODS! They're ganking MY quest!
Lucas Carter
I put a Dickens reference in the title and everything. Not that I've actually read any of his books but still.
Justin Edwards
Please respect the thread rules I clearly laid down or I'll have to report you.
Eli Jackson
I can't believe this. Don't you have any respect for the rule of law? You can't just take over and make some vacuous updates! Why, if you can, then what use are mods for?
Daniel Wright
>Masturbation is still an option, it's not like you get paid for this.
Robert Barnes
you are all reported
Jacob Watson
Reporting is against the thread rules I clearly laid down, please stop or I'll have to report you.
Logan Bailey
Please respect the thread rules I clearly laid down or I'll have to report you.
Kayden Nelson
I THE NEW QM WILL CONTINUE BECAUSE THE PREVIOUS GUY DIED. WHAT A SHAME.
You begin to furiously masturbate.
The reactions to your cringey posts, they are the fuel of your lust, the schattenkrieg emulsifier to your rumbling red rocket. ULTRA PRIME insists over the cringe-spam that the decision must be yours. The kill switch pops up on your browser, but you ignore it.
Why doesn't he do it himself? Is there something about this ritual purge he's not telling you? It doesn't matter. You pull up a picture of Emma Watson. It's different than your usual, none of the edited crap that your mod friends saved and then deleted from /b/ for suspicion of it not being edited crap.
Your rubout gets faster as you grab a sock for your smarmy ModLoad.
AHHH...
..OOOHHHH
You're almost there. BUT SUDDENLY-
YOU REALIZE- The picture is actually an upside down smile of Richard Dawkins.
Your cock deflates with a hard whoosh.
This, you believe wholeheartedly, sucks. It is the worst feeling of betrayal you've ever experienced since Mod Shemale, moderator of Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums, cucked you by chatting with MOD ULTRA PRIME last Veeky Forums cup. That manbitch, just thinking of it makes your blood boil. Unfortunately, your lust is not sated and your cock is still socked.
>The kill switch choo-choo is right there guys, press it.
>You need a different form of arousal now. Go to your second free job, moderating that Korean MMO.
>You have a sudden and complete suicidal urge, but it remains subdued. Perhaps you should explore it.
>Write-in.
Gabriel Wright
I vote for
>GET ONLINE AND BAN EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD WHO ISN'T ME
Julian Fisher
>You need a different form of arousal now. Go to your second free job, moderating that Korean MMO.
