Your party is traveling through the woods in search of the Mcguffin

"Why should I?" and keep on walking. If she tries to fight, fight back. This probably hasn't been the first person to try to stop us from getting the Mcguffin, and certainly won't be the last.

"You didn't actually make any demands. What do you want"

Sure as fuck not stop, that's for sure.

Stop right where he is to see what she wants. If it comes to combat though I wouldn't bet against my guy, in a forest.

"STRIKE FROM THE SKY BROTHERS"

Do not suffer the heretic to live

Stop, of course. I don't want to die.

I dunno, she doesn't look like she has any anti-armor capability. When in doubt, move the tank forward. It's why we have a mine flail on the front.

Since we're still a fairly low-level party, we don't know what she's got in store, and we aren't murderhobos, we stop. The wizard starts preparing a fireball, because he IS a murderhobo (fuck you, Steve) but the other people at the table shout him down so he only prepares it rather than actually using it. The bard begins negotiations.

Freeze her feet to the ground so she can't dodge and tase the bitch. She looks like a ninja and she's alone, and that means she's not to be underestimated.

But she never said that she wouldn't kill you if you stopped. It seemed more like a statement than a demand.

I dunno, having a contingency plan in case she starts shit seems like a good idea.

"Hey guys, there's a midget in that tree!"
"I bet I can hit it with my magic missile wand"
"Are you stupid? Magic missile auto hits."
"You didn't even roll for initiative, Carmen"

etc, etc...

I continue walking and/or fight this person harassing and threatening me.

All while giving my GM the stinkeye for this transparent attempt at forcing me into a "lol no bully plz" bullshit scenario for no reason.

My druid bullies the fuck out of her
and by bullies the fuck out of her, I mean beat her with a sap until she's unconscious and take her back to town in a cage to sell into slavery.

"Why?"

Your character is motherfucking Diogenes of Sinope?

Fucking based.

jokes on them, I'm so stealthy that I don't leave tracks to stop in. Check mate would be assassin.

>Evil wood elf party

Cast sleep, disarm/strip her and spitroast her in more ways than one..

Make sure to keep her until she developed Stockholm Syndrome. That way you get your own free assassin! And if you already have one, now you have two!

user goes full magical realm on the elf and only afterward does the DM tell them, "Well, turns out she wasn't an elite assassin. Those skulls on her headgear are to denote that she's a plague victim! A magical plague resistant to Cure Disease that eats out your soul and nullifies chance of resurrection! Congratulations!"

Awesome! Time to spread that shit, and bring about an apocalypse of soul eating pestilence!

Shame about the fact it's an STD called Wang Rot and only females spread it because they're asymptomatic carriers due to already lacking, ahem, certain equipment. Whoever designed this plague is one sick puppy.

But hey, time to murder all the ill looking puppies you can find! Revenge must be had!

Who gives a shit about revenge? I'll try to get a damn Wizard to give me a full=form sex change, and slut it up. Ending the world like this would be hilarious!

Hi, John Wick. Meet John Wick. John Wick, John Wick killed your dog. Go kill him now, please.

...

I don't know, you think you can make it there before your wang falls off? If it does will the change sex spell fail because 404: Gender Not Found? And even if you make it in time will the magical plague turn out to be designed to resist such influence? The creator seems to have been pretty devious here.

And yet you find yourself so intrigued by this plague. Oh shit, was it you who invented it and then wiped your own memory to ensure none could trace it back to you!? Oh the dark ironies! The gods are surely laughing about this one!

Roll initiative; I can tap the little strumpet for POW and then use that POW to turn her into a nipple ring or something.

Most of my body-jewelery is made out of polymorphed brigands.

If I did create this then that's pretty damn funny. Irony is fantastic.
I really don't think I'd great such a selective plague though. I'm always about equality, and this just doesn't seem like something I'd do.

Obviously you realized the best way to make sure even you didn't suspect yourself was to make sure it was designed in a way you normally wouldn't design it. Genius!

And yet here you are still suspecting yourself. Doubly genius! Truly your vile cleverness knows no bounds!

>Stop in my tracks
>Face her
>Set my Halberd aside
>Undo my belt
>Drop my pants
>Untie my loincloth
>Hoot vigorously while shaking my mighty barbarian donger to frighten away the forest spirit

What's it like having your sense of fun surgically removed?

...

I vigorously start rubbing her chest. According to what I know of anime, this will paralyze and stun her, giving my comrades time to escape before I suffer a comedic death-by-a-thousand-kunai at her hands.

With my last breath I thank Pelor for giving my my Clerical powers and the chance to help people.

Wouldn't it be better to stumble and fall? The scriptures of An'i Me suggest that this will cause the laws of nature to bend and break so that you may lay ontop of her groping her breast.

While she is going through the ritualistic embaressment your party can kill her.

It's only funny the first time

"Okay." and then proceed to leave a doppelganger behind where she told me to stop and walk forward. Or did I stop and send the doppelganger to walk forward?

Nobody knows, as illusionists are asshats.

>Having your sense of fun removed is only fun the first time
Who would have thought?

>"Don't shoot! I'm just a doctor!"

Suicide Squad-esque group of death-row psychopaths

>Engineer
Already planning how he can seduce her, have a whirlwind romance before ritualistically caving in her skull on the night they first sleep together.

>Soldier
Assessing the situation, eyeing her carefully and keeping track of her weapons and movements.
Will take action if she makes a move against anyone but the Mechanic. He's our designated bullet soak.

>Mechanic
Started creepily panting the moment he noticed how young she looks.

>First Doctor
Is telling everyone to try and keep things clean and preferably non-lethal.
Is also threatening to castrate the Mechanic again. She probably will castrate him if he ever actually tries anything.

>Second Doctor
Is actually attempting to negotiate.
Whilst subtly getting closer and readying her dart gun.

We've got a winner here

This must be the work of an enemy stand user

Go Sons of Plunder

ARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIA ARIA!

I am sith. I am always ready, and I welcome combat.

Then die like a pussy, because I'm level 1.

Divine smite the fucker.

Make her eat a whole bowl of eggs

Completely ignore them and continue walking.

"You think this is the first time I've had a little girl threaten my life while I was naked?"

"You're not na-"

And then I start to strip. The battle begins.

HEAVEN OR HELL

LET'S ROCK

I am the GM, but I can predice what the party would do.
>Melee expert, the "tactical" mind of the party.
Would be the first to react, rushing to attack any enemy in sight and ask questions later.
>Techie and ranged weapons expert, the "strategic" mind of the party.
Would be ready to attack, but not before assesing the situation.
>Magic glass cannon, the "ethical" mind of the party.
The only one who would try to talk things down.

It would all turn into combat the next turn. What a wonderful group.

This is more or less when I'd pull out the version of the character sheet that's about 5 levels higher than them.

I'd say,
>BITCH

It would serve them well, and the best part would be the glass cannon running away the moment things get ugly, leaving the other two to die.
The next session would consist of the glass cannon recruiting two "meat shields".

Goddamit, it is actually a pretty good idea.

Evil, high level Pathfinder gestalt game. Priestess of the Golarion equivalent to Lilith / negotiator bard.

At this point opening my mouth to speak is more effective than a Dominate spell. If allowed to talk she'll end up as another harem pet within the first sentence. If I lose init the rest of the party will drop her so hard it leaves a crater. Luckily, I always keep spells on hand for stealing the souls of the recently dead, so she can just serve me like that.

Seriously, high level casters in DnD/PF are bullshit.

hue

I ingrained it relatively well in my players that more fights wasn't going to be better, it was going to be a drain in resources, not a lot of xp, and they'd miss out on fun encounters.

Why would you stop a man before killing him?

>Cast Command
>"Stand next to the tree"
>Tell the ranger to tie her to the tree
>Have civilized conversation
>Attempt to rehabilitate
>Our rogue probably just stabs her while I'm not looking

I laughed way to hard at that. Good reference. Have a (you)

Feigning weakness of her legs, she'd ask if she could bring the cart closer so they could have a peaceful negotiation.
If she's allowed, then once she's close enough she can just erupt forth, the blankets hiding her monstrous lower half cast aside and grab her to take captive.
The Cleric meanwhile would be negotiating with my character to not take another slave. Could we just let her go and hold off on new acquisitions till we have gotten back to our home territories.

If she isn't allowed closer she'll let the rest of the party handle the capture. She isn't a very fast runner.

Pic is pretty much what she is ever since she made the pact with a Demon Spider.

Rolled 4 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

Get lost girlie. I'm in a hurry.
>roll for intimidation

Pity the child, for they are so young, and yet forced into a horrific lifestyle of banditry, plunder, and murder.

Take the child, even if they resist, and provide her with a roof over her head, food to eat, and a place to sleep. Teach her the ways of the arcane, so that she never has to resort to such evil methods just to live.

youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0

see

Probably lecture her for daring to make an attempt on the life of a proud noble while simultaneously attempting to groom her for servitude since my PC keeps accidentally collecting little girls for her entourage.

Play as a voice-of-reson hillbilly with a spear.

>Look I have no quarrel with you, so I'll go on my merry way pretending you didn't just say that, alright? Have a nice day.
If she leaves me be or talks, so be it, if she attacks me, she gets impaled on my crazy stats for Armed Fighting(spear)

> Sons of Plunder
Mein neger.

Set myself on fire and begin screaming the lyrics to "The only thing I know for real". Combat begins shortly as the forest burns to the ground while I scream about the mountains not giving back what they take. Preferably done whilst I am naked with some kind of bag over my face.

I will die, but she will live with that mental trauma for the rest of her life.

Shut the fuck up Goemon.

>Pathfinder

Clue #1 this was going to be magical realm harem loli lesbian bullshit

>Fighter with a warhammer who worships an African war god

"Agurzil, guide my hammer!"

>What would your character do?
Say "Move out of the way, your body is blocking the radiant magnificence of grossly incadescent Sun."

"Grandma, what the fuck are you doing here?"

420 praise it, my Brother.
For our magnificent Father, my Bro.

Assuming I have my usual buffs on (Barkskin, Bear's Endurance, Bull's Strength, Owl's Wisdom, and whatever the Bard has given us today)
>Laugh
>Control Plants/Animate Plants
>Suddenly, VINES, VINES EVERYWHERE.
Or
>"I think m' walloping staff might be a little angry."
>Throw down quarterstaff
>Quarterstaff turns into Treant
Or
>Summon Elemental/Nature' Ally VIII
Or
>Wild Shape
Or
>Ironwood + Shillelagh on the Quarterstaff, followed by Transport via Plants to behind her.
Failing any of that
>Scratch, sic 'er!
>And that's when my Velociraptor attacks from her flank
Followed by
>Cry s'more, bit!
Ah, the wonders of being a high level Druid in a party with a similarly-leveled Sorcerer and a Bard

Well, I'm in a Raven. The rest of the group consists of two Uziels and a Catapult.
I don't think we can ever hear her.

Keep walking, albeit slightly faster.

Why would the cleric want to return to Izalith? It smells like dragon ass there.

>Gangrel brawler whose personality is mix of Tyler Durden and the worst sister.
"Alright, me first."

>party consists of Necromancer on the path to lichdom, Antipaladin who's already half undead, a samurai who's crit range is 10-20, and various npcs.

We probably talk her down from committing suicide by player character, and hopefully explain why it's a bad idea/make a good friend.

If that fails, she eats two maximized enervations and a circle of death.

We're evil, but we have standards.

Stop on tracks.
And because we're in the woods, become invisible due his traits.
Now, whoever has said this phrase, has a 3 meters tall giant beastman that can punch through granite and able to move -very- fast, quickly going to meet him from -very- close, from a side he didn't expect.

>Party bounty hunter has either already found the girl or is ready to track her if she runs.
>Spell-less paladin has a few gold in his hand in case she turns out to just be an urchin in need of coin (we meet a lot of those.)
>I'm ready to hurl a fireball or two at the very moment this goes to pot, because it always does.
>Party healer is sitting in the back, wondering if he can deliver her a killing blow without us noticing.

Ah, larping.

Ask her if she's lost and/or needs help finding her way back home.

When she inevitably gets belligerent, have the barbarian to grab her and carry her like a sack of potatoes to be delivered to the first orphanage we come across. Presumably she'll spill her tragic backstory as we're walking, which will parlay into a quest hook in which we help her get revenge on the bandits who killed her parents or whatever.

>"Ok, fuck it, that's fucking enough! Every fucking time we're trying to cross the fucking forest we are bothered by the fucking wood elves! Fuck it, Steve, go break that bitch' hand, I'm not stopping you this time."

...

>Disturbed

You must be at least 18 to post here

>tactical mind
>strategic mind

What's the fucking difference?

No young people listen to disturbed anymore. The band's 20 years old, user.

I play as a time mage who's not big on violence.
>Cast accelerate
>I shall lead her on a merry chase.

>Praise
>Not Braise

ISHYGDDT

"Wow, super fucking rude. We were all having a good time and you pop out of nowhere and say you're going to kill us? I don't even know you, lady!"

nothing because i play a deaf warrior who lost the ability to speak in complete sentences and had int reduced to 4 because of a traumatic crit that brought me to -7 hp but was saved before i bled out.

>"Kill you all"
>[Incredibly confused rattling from the party of skeletons]

Fireballing a ninja doesn't seem like a very good contingency plan, though, a spell that doesn't allow a reflex save would be far more appropriate.