Hey there, Veeky Forums. I haven't posted any storytimes in a good, long while, so I thought I'd maybe post one about my latest 5e campaign.
Now, I'm a perma-DM in the worst way. My friends and I love tabletop, but I'm the only one who can really keep track of all the crap and/or worldbuild worth a damn. I adore DMing but after a long time of it, it can get tiring. So when another friend of mine decided to make a foray into DMing, I jumped on it rather quickly...even desperately.
The campaign just started, so this is as much an account for my sake as anyone elses. It will update as completed.
Jace Ortiz
Now, to introduce the players and the characters:
DM: Although he's relatively new, he's shown great promise so far. A bit of a little bastard. The young betus. Won his DM hat in a mini-hotdog-eating-contest.
Me: My character is a southern baptist-style Human preacher of Pelor by the name of Caleb Keane, except he's actually an Old Ones Warlock. Has a homebrew feat called "Fire And Brimstone" that allows me to gradually sway public opinion against a group or individual, filling the "Lynch-O-Meter" with consecutive successful roles until I can incite riots in the streets. His true god is an ancient, cosmic being of the deep who's deeply tied with the concept of vengeance and disproportionate retribution. Pic related.
J: My good friend since we were preteens. Hella gay, but cool gay, like Freddie Mercury. He's playing a Half-Elf Rogue named Miles Boswell that ran away from his home in the traveling circus and is now a bandit a la Robin Hood. He began the campaign in the process of being arrested by...
A: His friend, a smaller, twinkier dude but pretty funny. It's his first time playing, so he went with a Paladin of Pelor. His character (Sir Peterson) is essentially an "ELIMINATE THE SARACENS, DEUS VULT" type crusader, but he's mute. A one-man holy war. Was in the process of escorting the famous bandit Miles Boswell back to his Order for justice when the campaign started.
O: Some other dude I don't really know. Playing a Tiefling fighter from the desert lands named Ebvir, essentially an Arabian Knight. His character is looking for information on his past or something.
Relatively standard stuff. I was leery at first, but I was ultimately not disappointed.
Landon Adams
Whoops, meant to attach this picture.
Anyways, our story begins like this
>Ebvir and Keane are on a small rowboat through the swampy Greenburrow valley >this place is fucking rural lousiana >incest county >Ebvir is on the boat because he's following the paper trail he left behind in his old life >Keane is trying to get to a town called Cloaksdale, he's meeting with a fellow cultist by the name of Bosch >the only safe path there is from the town they're headed to >Stillrun >the boat is being rowed by a couple of utterly ripped dorfs >While the players knew my guy was secretly pretty evil, their characters had no clue >banjos in the distance >we arrive at stillrun, its basically a mudfarming pigshit little podunk nowhere >it's on stilts like stormalong harbor from flapjack so it isn't consumed by the thick stinking mud beneath
Andrew Diaz
>Stillrun has had issues >Weird, strange circumstances surrounding the town >the local Lizardman population for instance has apparently lost their minds >while they formerly hung out in the swamps far away from any humanoids, one day they started raiding villages and kidnapping people >the boat hits stillrun and we get out >Keane is pretty much ready for a quick turnaround and could give a fuck about Ebvir >however, a slightly porcine man trundles up to the pair incredulously and begins asking us and our business >Keane's a CharismaBoy, so he rapidly uses his Southern Hospitality to charm the mayor into explaining the weird situation >Ebvir and his player do jack shit as per usual >gatormen raids, etc. >Almost like clockwork as soon as he begins explaining it the alarm bells ring >gatormen >Keane is pretty much ready to find a nice hiding place and leave the rest of these rednecks to die but as a player i recognize the importance of evil characters still contributing >the mayor comes out in too-small armor and Keane decides to save some face and stop an abduction-in-progress >leldritch blast >too good
Jose Jones
>after a basic-tier fight, Keane and Ebvir have earned the mayors respect for their ability to curbstomp reptillian savages >highlights include a lizardman accidentally killing its homie with a missed spear fling and one turning tail and running, only to be summarily eaten by a headdress-wearing one we can only assume to be the cheiftain >Mayor Jacob Stillshine >portrayed as a sketchy southern politician pretty damn well >explains the lizardmen situation >tells us people have been kidnapped including his daughter and more importantly the ferryman >Keane can not get out of this swampass shitheap >he needs to get to Cloaksdale but there's a lizardman problem in the way >and no way back out >Keane asks what he can do >the statblock next to him goes along with it >O doesn't really RP much >the mayor tells us to meet with a scholar, by the name of Lucas
Anthony Hall
Okay, but why didn't you pre-type this before you came to post?
Gavin Gray
>Lucas looks "like Rick Moranis from Ghostbusters 1" >pic related >total fucking nerd, has a weird midwestern accent and a nasally voice >workshop full of clockwork doodads and magicky shit >apparently here writing his thesis for university >explains that the local lizardmen have been worshipping a young but aggressive Green Dragon in the area >its been posing itself as a godlike being and the gatorfolk have been doing its bidding >he goes on to explain all the mercenaries he's been hiring have been returned to him, skeletonized and hideously toxic >he might have a new idea though >Ebvir and Keane are hired to deliver some magitek sensors to an old dwarven mining complex up in the hills of the river valley >Lucas will in return provide pay and artifacts. >Lucas says something to Keane on his way out the door >"May Pelor's light be with you, Preacher." >*wink*
I had it all done up yesterday but I lost it when my laptop ate dick.
I'm going off memory.
Evan Murphy
bump?
Thomas Reed
This is interesting
Asher Bennett
I'm unfortunately busy atm but there will be more tonight i still have a session and a half to get through
Isaac Collins
>Keane tucks in for the night at the local Inn. The innkeeper, a bald, jovial Cajun man by the name of Benjamin La'Trell was actually the guy Keane saved earlier that morning >commence haggling for heavily reduced rates >Ebvir paid in full because he rolled poorly and didn't RP >O bitched about me RPing it and getting reduced rates >Keane unrolls a mat on the ground, draws a circle on it, and enters a meditative conference with his patron >Tzelzeveld the Oathmaker, the Contractor, the One In Chains >Inquires as to what to do about the geek >No slight has been made, so no retribution is neccessary >Keane decides the best course of action is to see what Lucas's real deal is >So he sets out into the streets of Stillrun, headed for Lucas's weird conical artificer workshop >There's a hooded dude chilling on a bench in front of the town gallows >Keane, whistling, draws near and asks "mind if I sit for a spell, stranger?" because he and I were rather curious >The dude ignores Keane until he repeats himself in Black Speech (evil lovecraft code) >he perks up >reveals himself to be an albino tiefling with curving ram's horns >super creepy >informs Keane that this town is in the hands of the Raven Queen now >(she's a psychopomp with a rather nasty cult, btw) >Keane nods, telling him he could give a fuck and asks about cloaksdale >Albino tells him Cloaksdale has been silent for 3 weeks, and not to worry. They know the consequence of inciting the hatred of the Oathmaker's Children >Keane carries on his way >Reaches Lucas's workshop >*RAP* *RAP* *RAP* >A Skeleton jumped out
Landon Flores
I'm intrigued, please continue. Also, I find it interesting that the cults in this setting seem fairly chill towards one another.
Michael Jones
>nah it was just Lucas >the nerd thing wasn't even a front >he's just a fucking nerd, even though he's a sketch ass dark mage > Young Betus, the DM, impressed me a great deal when he told me that he was adapting to the cult thing and playing off my character concept unplanned >The lad is good and he's developing interesting situations and consequences for the rest of em >anyways Lucas appears and they begin speaking >I don't get a ton out of them but I wind up making a Contract with Lucas >Keane does as he's been hired, but when the Raven Queen's machinations descend on this backwater burg, he walks >Lucas acquiesces to this >Keane fails a perception check at the end of the conversation so I know there's sketch shit coming downwind >Keane returns to the Inn >A bleak, bitter wind rolls through the swamptown
Meanwhile, O did a little solo stuff and started to get into the swing of things. He's not a bad dude, just kinda new and not entirely used to the narrative style yet.
>Ebvir has a ledger, copied from a merchant from his village >apparently he had resold him some supplies that he had obtained from this town after one of his travels >he began to investigate, retracing his footsteps >La'Trell knew little, the old owner of the shop he had bought the supplies from hadn't been seen in ages >He met with the Blacksmith, a dorftastic dorf by the name of Derrek Strackeln >they drank for a little while and talked >Strackeln accidentally quaffed some quenching oil >only cared a little >Strackeln is a relative newcomer and had little to offer >But he was a bro >Suggested he meet with the Mayor in the morning
Well, kinda. There's an element of coexistence, particularly with the Children of the Oathmaker. Tzelzeveld's disciples are less by nature "eye for an eye" than they are "an eye for all of your skin".
Merciless, violent psychopaths with a twisted sense of justice inherent within them.
They're not fucked with.
Joseph Gonzalez
Been DMing for a long ass time right now, group wants to stick with 3.5, not complaining. Party likes low level games so for continuity purposes after a certain arch another group of level ones from the same mercenary band show up and we roll from there.
Been fun, I can't complain. I like running deadly games so even crossbow men are scarey shit to the players. There has been at least six times we've restarted the levels up to this point, and no one has ever picked a fighter. I asked the players why's this.
They've read a bunch of shit about how fighters are the worse, a lot of it legitimate stuff but I try to explain at low levels you can do a lot of nice stuff with the fighter. I bring up some variants and show them certain feat progressions, they won't have any of it.
That's fine with me, just trying to show them something they haven't been able to do because the game never progresses past 6.
Finally one of my players wants to run a level 2 dungeon crawl for the group. Says its going to be q murder fest. I decide to roll up a dungeon crasher fighter. Show up for the game, DM actually laughs and everyone expects me to be a cruch.
First encounter I end up bullrushing some dude into a wall and one shotting him with the variant class rule. DM just looks at me and ask for my sheet. After going over it he says I made some cheesy ass character to ruin his game.
>keep playing >that +10 bullrush modifier >that 4d6+8 damage
Remind him that I've brought all this up before.
Camden Morales
>The next morning >A bullywug croaks a cockadoodledoo and is promptly shot by one of the rooftop ballistas >Keane and Ebvir awaken and are served a breakfast of freshly caught and roasted bullywug >it's okay >Keane heads to the Mayor's house to discuss the situation with the mining complex and, more importantly, Cloaksdale >Ebvir is headed there to ask about the old shopkeep >When they walk in, they literally catch him with his pants down >he's fapping furiously to a pamphlet called "Elves, Elves, Elves" >after a blustering attempt at saving face, Mayor Stillshine and Keane discuss the mines >they were formerly owned by a Dwarven mining company from the mainland, but have fallen into disuse >Thunder Hill Mining Co. >Cloaksdale has, as Lucas mentioned, gone silent. Keane suspects Bosch may be involved, but would like to fulfill his oath >because its bad news bears if he doesn't do that >Ebvir also inquires as to the whereabouts of the former shopkeeper, and any hints as to his identity >He interrupts Keane and Stillshine's conversation and Keane remarks offhandedly on "desertfolk and their rudeness, don't mind him" >"We all have our vices, Mr. Keane!" he said, wiping sweat from his brow and concealing the deflating nanoerection his dicklet is struggling with under his ale gut > Stillshine actually remembers the guy who owned the old shop though, he was a tall, creepy elf with a fondness for magical objects >he never knew him intimately >but he claims he can check the town records >unfortunately with this dragon situation he's very busy > *wink from Betus*
Really? What a bitch move on the DM's part. I mean, it's kinda Jank, but you adapt your encounters to accomadate, not whine like a child
How'd the rest go?
Thomas Gray
>+14 modifier
Excuse me.
The next game I held there were 3 fighters including the one time DM, who had a dungeon craeher, apparently everyone forgot why they were complaining so much about the class.
Made sure the first few sessions where on an open plain for calling me bullshit.
Henry Young
I smashed the fuck out of that dungeon. Bust through doors and traps, smeared enemies over the walls. Apparently he used some randomly generated dungeon from the srd20 and it didn't include any spell casters in its.
Ethan Robinson
>Keane asks Ebvir for assistance with the mining situation >He wouldn't but I'm not the guy who makes an edgy NE character who "wouldn't travel with a group" >I'm the guy who makes an edgy NE character that would like someone with a lower dex to distract the pursuing lizardmen with his tasty corpse while I fled >But anyways we prepared our stuff and set out up the hills >relatively safe path, not much seen besides some Dryads here and there >Keane appreciates the dryad tiddy >Ebvir is doing arab things >About half a day in, the duo is attacked by a small pack of Twigblights >malicious spirits that construct bodies of twigs and swamp plants >they're bundles of sticks >pic related
Liam Carter
>More seriously I actually drew some because I'm fucking awesome and was bored in class >these little bastards were fluffed as every insufficient AC roll resulting in them reading the incoming attack, dematerializing into sticks, and rematerializing >leldritch blast too goddamn good kid >goodnight sweet princes >O had to actually leave and would not make the next session, so we dealt with it thusly >he was mauled a bit by the one Twigblight, and the nasty swamp slime it was dripping in managed to actually get him infected >he had to turn back to the village or he was probably going to get blood poisoning >With Ebvir out of commission, Keane was stuck setting out for the mine all by his lonesome...
END OF SESSION 1
Any questions? Comments?
Landon Taylor
do you think any of your friends browse Veeky Forums?
Mason Baker
What's happening with the two other guys? The paladin and rogue, I mean. Aren't they playing as well or are they joining in next session?
Robert Gray
Session 2 rolled around and we actually had J and A. I wound up building their character sheets because we were short on time and had a lot of ground to cover.
>Keane arrives at the mining complex >The main camp has been abandoned, but Kobolds are all over the place >2 Figures are in cages >one of which is a romani-looking half elf in revealing clothes and the other a massive crusader in full plate >paladin of pelor >ruh roh, raggy >These 2 were of course Miles Boswell and Sir Peterson, the characters of J and A respectively >Miles had holed himself up nearby, gotten arrested by the mute warrior, and they were both captured soon after by Kobolds >they were apparently ambushed and disoriented >but still kobolds cmon guys >Keane literally fucking reks the entire camps worth of Kobolds, they rolled like shit and I was stomping in kobold anuses like it was my fucking career >Keane at one point actually hit one between the cages like a field goal >the mute crusader made a field goal pose >pic related
Nah. The DM is starting to a little bit, but he's still lurking.
I was getting to that. They couldn't make session 1.
The idea is to hang out at Betus's house, play D&D, then wait for O to go home then go to J's house, get high, and play melee. However, J and A weren't around last weekend.
Anthony Allen
oh fucker i forgot the pic related
Robert Kelly
>>A bullywug croaks a cockadoodledoo and is promptly shot by one of the rooftop ballistas
Almost a shame Kaene is actually a cultist, seems like he'd get along with Sir Peterson quite well.
Levi Gutierrez
>Realizing he's now down a "get eaten while I flee" body, Keane introduces himself to the two of them while attempting to bust down the bars of the cages with his Shillelagh-empowered walking staff. >Miles does the translating of Peterson's hand signals, not always getting them 100% correct. They've already established a weird cop and robber friendship. >J and A are boyfriends in real life but they don't ever make it uncomfortable for anyone else >which is chill of them >Keane manages to deceive them very, very well with his 17 Charisma at level 1 and convince them he's nothing but a genial good ol' boy here on a mission from Pelor himself >Sir Peterson decides to accompany him for the time being after Keane explains the ferry situation >He can't get back to his order's headquarters in Arcadia without the situation being stabilized and can't bring the bandit to justice >Miles is here to have a good time and has already popped his cuffs >He's here because he wants to be and he thinks Peterson's fun to hang out with >the party loots some of the camps buildings, finding an orichalcum dagger after a very funny sequence in which miles spends ten minutes trying to pick a lock that peterson smacks with his hamlike fist and pops open the chest >They also find some crystals that react to the clockwork sensors Lucas gave Keane >So they hit up the mine >They get inside and ah fuck, dead kid >Kobolds are spitroasting the corpse of some poor kid from the village >Keane reaches for his staff but peterson has already flung his Halberd at them, showering them in sparks from the holy polearm >A fuckin' loves Bayonetta and described his Halberd as essentially that of an Affinities >pic related >He flings himself at one of the Kobolds, grabs it by the lower body and beats it to a bleeding pulp against a crate, staring like fucking Lem the Butcher who killed that user because he fucked his daughter the whole time >Keane likes Peterson way more now
Xavier Smith
Ironically, so far they get along rather well. Peterson thinks of Keane as righteous man willing to get his hands dirty for the greater good (part of the reason his Order sends him on milk runs is he's a blood knight) and Keane respects Peterson's brutality and willpower.
It's almost a shame they're nearly guaranteed to come to blows sooner or later.
Juan Hill
>The kobolds ran like bitches >Keane and Miles are both impressed and a little disconcerted by Petersons sudden bloodlust >Keane moves on to say a few words for the kids sake >he's pretending to be a priest after all and is very practiced in it >but any belief he had in him died a long, long time ago >the tunnel winds up forking three ways >after a quick discussion, the party decides to go down the central tunnel >they walk a few minutes, eventually coming across a narrow, bouldery passage in the wall crammed with stinking webbing >Keane is like "lolnah" but Miles is a gay gypsy jew >His shekel senses are tingling >and Petersons not letting the little rat out of his sight for a minute >Out of character this sequence was done to get the other two caught up, exp wise >they move down the sketchass tunnel, hearing sounds like someone dragging a bag of meat across the ground >they get to a room lit by phosphorescent mushrooms, containing numerous clutches of white eggs and a very wounded Carrion Crawler. >Pic related, but ingame it was even grosser because half its legs were ripped out and it had the same consistency/flesh/color/texture as the Brundlefly
Carson Gray
>the two begin to battle the creature, even a wounded carrion crawler is a formidable foe for 2 level 1 PCs >well Miles also critted with his whip and yanked out more of its legs like it was a steamed crab >and Peterson dealt the finishing blow by impaling in through the head and frying it in its own exoskeleton with his sun-stopsign-axe >they fucked the thing up
MEANWHILE
>Keane's standing around with his dick in his hand outside waiting for the other two to get done dying so he can take their shit >he actually inspects the sensors more closely and finds that they are remarkably, distressingly powerful pieces of artifice >literally god tier, these fucking things are the kind of shit that divinities pass down to their chosen ones >Keane sweats just a little bit more than he already was in the humid mine >He actually begins to check out the next room, sneaking around when the flash from Petersons finishing blow alerts the creature within to his presence. >It's a Spectator, a Beholder-lite more or less. Keane manages to catch the creature off guard by addressing it in Black Speech. >"Howdy." >The DM does this fucking hilarious and slightly scary voice by inhaling as he speaks, and introduced the Spectator as Cahvurn, who begins conversing with Keane about placing the sensor. >Things sour. >Cahvurn senses the power of the sensor (kek?) and decides that the human is unworthy of it >He says Keane can place that object in his sanctum over his dead body >Keane tips his wide brimmed preacher's hat, bible pages sewn over the holes in his robes briefly glowing with obscene purple runes as his staff crackles with the unclean energies of spiteful retribution. >"That can be arranged, friend" he whispers in Black Speech.
Alexander Cox
>Cue me rolling 1 on initiative, framed as Miles and Peterson tripping out of the cave and distracting Keane, just in time for a puppetteered Kobold body to sling a stone directly into Keane's temple. >Keane eats shit. >He can see Tzelzeveld's disapproving face in his minds eye. >Peterson comes over and heals the preacher with his holy power, it burns like a bitch because Pelor doesn't like Keane very much. >Peterson doesn't notice. >Miles for his part cracks the Spectator with his bullwhip, snapping it into his central eye and eliciting a squeal of agony from the creature. >They fight. It wildly fires rays of varying effects and attacks with its kobold puppets, but loses its focus after its main eyeball is annihilated by the party's attacks >Keane ultimately knocks the creature out of the air with a swing of his staff, sending it crashing to the earth >He stands atop it, hatred filling his eyes as he reaches into his coat and produces a beat-up old leather bible of Pelor. Opening it, he produces a single, gleaming silver revolver concealed in a hollow in the pages and presses it to the Spectator's head. >"May Pelor's light be with you." >BANG >Keane's gun was forged by the Oathmaker himself. It has one shot. It always has one shot. It will always end the life of its target. The target's life must be already forfeit at the time of its firing. It is the Only Mercy. >Basically a fancy way for me to finish my fights, the DM allows it because its more about being sick than being useful >And that's how we hit Level 2.
SESSION 2 END.
Brandon Gutierrez
That is where I will be leaving off for the time being, but I will be around to answer any questions and address any comments you may have.
Also, if you have any ideas for sick things I should have Keane do at any point, just pipe up. Give a bad person good ideas.
Isaiah Campbell
Keane should try to make the palabro the method of action for his patrons desires. Meaning persuade/manipulate him into killing someone that probably only needed to be captured.
Kevin Nguyen
DM here, questions acceptex
Colton Carter
IF you are the preacher, are you prepared for the undertaker to show up?
Matthew Reyes
you said "any belief he had died a long, long time ago" have you actually fleshed out what killed his belief, or are you going to let that develop naturally? so far an amazing character concept
Robert Martin
That gun is a badass idea, I like it. You could probably use it to add icing to the cake of a good lynch mob riot that Keane has started at some point. Get an entire town turned against someone, then once it's clear they're dead meat already, use the gun to "pass judgement" on them in front of everyone. Could maybe even tell the crowd some bullshit about the weapon being an implement that only kills those who deserve death.
Andrew Wood
Why does your preacher own a item made personally by his god. I know the cruch but fluff wise thats probbably a holy relic.
Ian Butler
DM here, its only used for finishing blows to add some pizzaz to the encounters.
Robert Diaz
I already said i get the crunch.
But even if it was only a coin, a coin personally minted by god itself is not something you simply find or are given.
So how do you manage to get a elder evil to give you ANYTHING, given that even gods are apathetic fucks?
Brayden Edwards
Ah apologies, read that wrong. Think of keane as like, his top agent... the gun is just on loan.
Kayden Hernandez
Who the fuck is Lem the butcher?
Gavin Edwards
IDK, I actually prefer being foreverDM, save for the occasional 1shot, which a few of my players are happy to arange. Usually it's a genre-deviation. This one guy likes to run horror stories with GURPS, which is a far cry from my pulp-fantasy 4e, but it works with the contrast.
Ryan Cook
Duly noted, and appreciated. I'll discuss it with A.
Get your tripcode on.
Deep down, he wants him to.
Thanks a ton user! And I'm planning on letting it develop naturally.
Fuckin' genius.
As described here. Tzelzeveld's church is tiny and has a high turnover rate, and Keane's been around for some days.
It's like Malal kind of.
Pic related. I actually typo'd, it's LEN the butcher.
Me too, but I'm preparing a very large homebrew project right now and I'm glad Young Betus stepped up to the plate on this one
