What would the patron deity of firearms be like?

What would the patron deity of firearms be like?

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Very loud.

Why ask for the guidance of a saint when you can service a GOD?

Browse /k/ and report back. You'll get your answer soon enough.

there literally already is one

gunsaint.com/history.asp

This guy

When the deity of firearms smites, you can expect it to be over in a flash, and with extreme violence.
Usually a passive, quiet deity that speaks few words, but with an intimidating aura. Their apparent tranquility and intimidating peace only lasts until something triggers them, and then they will be very loud and violent.

He'd be a fat dude in camo gear with sunglasses and a goatee that looks tiny on his bulging fat face.

He also enjoys hunting and preparing for the economic apocalypses.

WAAAAAAAAAGH!

Probably like an Orkish gargant, the one that belongs to the reallly rich mekboss. But with even more dakka.

AVE NEX ALEA
SALUTO NEX ALEA

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There is Gabriel Possenti

Neoliberal and annoying

Think Hephaestus but more shooty.

Who's that guy the turks hired for his cannon engineering and besieged Constantinople with?

This guy

>God
The Murder/k/ube
>Prophet.
Pic related.

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>Cosmolius, Patron saint of firearms, dip, and Rip-Its

>His followers pay tribute to him by: cleaning their weapon daily, keeping a tight grouping and displaying their targets above his altar, and wearing dark eye coverings made by the mythical smith "Oak-aley"

>Cosmolius punishes those who: flag their battle-buddies, let their weapon rust, and put too much useless shit on their goddamn rifle!

You're an alright guy.

Does he go bowling on the weekends with the god of stoners?
Is he very particular about the rules?

kweapons.wikia.com/wiki/Glorious_Murder_Cube
Here you go, My God

A stocky, swarthy and hairy guy with the beginnings of a bald spot and passionate eyes.

John Moses Browning

I've never even held a gun and that image hurts me.

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A redneck.

I can easily imagine that God being in the Mad Max setting in Bullet Farm.
>Bullets are a beauty ! Blessed be Colt ! May we shedd our shells and strike true !

This is an obvious choice if you're going for a more comic relief type deity

But guns have been around for hundreds of years, so the stereotypes of changed over time

I myself would go with the redneck but the options are really endless

>SS
>Minute-men
>1800's British big game hunter
>Rugged Australian

Lots of stereotypes to be had

The one in my setting is the Pig God of friendship, sloth, sex, emotion, animals, hunting, food, cooking, brewing, distilling, farming, eating and drinking. He loved guns so much he had his brother the Bull make him one, a blunderbuss that can shoot asteroids, meteors, stars, even black holes.

Actually cut out farming. He's too lazy for that.

In all seriousness, a diety of firearms would be a fickle god, representing the dual nature of firearms. They can save your life, or they can take them. Consider, for comparison, Poseidon and other sea gods that work on this duality.

A patron deity of firearms would probably represent firearms not just as awesome, but as a sacred trust, a power over life and death.

Borderlands was an alright game.

Agreed. Fucking japs.

it hurts less if you know about the Dardick Tround(a revolver that used triangular bullets to allow interesting feed-mechanics), and even less if you think of the cylinder-looking portion as simply "an action housing with straight flutes"

yes but in all of history a couple of things have stayed the same.

keep your powder dry

lock stock and barrel

sound(even suppressed weapons are loud, just not REALLY loud), the click of a safety coming off, the ratchet of a pump action that EVERYONE knows.

even today with "smokeless powder" gunsmoke, and that particular smell.

the setting for it is actually pretty cool if you look past some things...or not...

this.

his worship could also be widely variable too, as widely variable as the gun enthusiasts out there "always hit the target, one shot one kill" "never fails" "dakka dakka dakka" etc.

>Dardick
It's a shame the inventor was such a massive autist and paid no attention to ergonomics, aesthetics, or usability when he brought his gun to market.

Who wants a high-capacity gun that can only be loaded one round at a time and has a grip so fat that almost nobody can comfortably hold it? If he'd built it more like a Tech-9, with a removable magazine forward of the grip, it would have been great.

/thread

calm yourself, part of it was that the tround was a prototype.

it never got the investment that would have lead to subsequent prototypes that might have addressed the issues with ergonomics.

and it COULD potnetially be loaded with a speed-clip, like modern pump action shot-guns you just had to allow the cylinder to freewheel and jam your speed-clip before re-engaging the cylinder for another dozen rounds

it would be ian mccollum

Shouldn't you be prepping the bull, serf?

This.

John Moses Browning. I believe earnestly if JMB had of been in any other industry, Architect, Automotive, Aeronautical, anything, he would of been regarded on a level similar to classical musicians, George Stevenson and his rocket, Telsa and electricity and many others.

The width and breadth of things he did for firearms and precision engineering are still used to this day, self-taught, self-motivated and entirely devoted to the industry.

Fat FUCKING redneck asshole piece of shit WHITE male Trump supporter


GOD DAMMMITTTTNTT I HATE FUCKING WHITES SO GOD DAMN MUCH

Oh look at me look at my guns I'm such a tough MALE and I'm going to fight the governmment

I HATE you fucking gamuuurrs so much. YOU THINK FIREARMS ARE FUNNY? YOU THINK FIREARMS ARE CUTE? FUCK YOU

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You, uh, feeling okay there, buddy?

You better fucking delete these posts right now. I'm not kidding.

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Or what? You have no guns.

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I just realized how much I want, no need, an army of Orks with varying mustaches.

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You asswipes can joke all you want but Trump is going to become president. Hillary has COMPLETE DESTROYED AMERICA with her stupid illnesses and corruption. THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY IS OVER AND NOW THE REDNECKS WILL TAKE OVER EVERYTHING

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He pretty much created the US Army's entire arsenal for the begining of the 20th century.

Fucking kek.

Are you okay, dude? I think that weed mighta been spiked.

Yeah, the Colt 1911, the BAR rifle, .45 ACP, .50 BMG, .25 ACP, .380 ACP, the M2 .50 Cal machine gun and so much more. All os these are still in heavy heavy use all over the world.

Don't forget the 1887/97 shotgun, the m1895 machine gun, and the ithaca model 37.

So the God of Guns is a Mormon?
I'm actually okay with this.

>ithaca model 37
Best shotgun ever.

/k/ had this whole setting worked out that had Mormon rebels and stuff, it was pretty cool but it all fell apart after a week.

>/k/ had this whole setting worked out that had Mormon rebels and stuff, it was pretty cool but it all fell apart after a week.
Link? I've always been a fan of thinking of ways the Mormon's change in post-apoc/fantasy settings.
My favorite is where the Great Basin becomes essentially the Aiel Wastes, the Mormons into Ail, and Salt Lake into Rhuidean

Go to /k/, it was centered around Yellowstone Eruption. You had the T.E.F and all sorts.

POP POP

:)

This is why we can't have good threads. Stick to /lgbt/ and /pol/ please.

He things he's a master baitman, user. Nobody is really so retarded to get bootyblasted about this on Veeky Forums, right?

R-right guys? ;_;

Well holy shit, that was surprisingly enlightening. I suppose the only thing worth say at this point would be: Saluto Nex Alea

>Nobody is really so retarded to get bootyblasted about this on Veeky Forums, right?

Poe's law is very much in effect these days.

I came here to post this, but you've already done God's work.

Kay, the patron deity of firearms.

Converts that follow Kay must first find a moist nugget and remove the half inch of cosmoline on the beastie.

Worship of Kay is based mostly upon the sacrifice of lead. The sacrifice should be often and with the greater amount of lead sacrificed, this will please Kay, granting the worshiper a place in Kay's palace. The palace moves every now and then, usually open carry states such as Arizona.

Non believers in Kay shall suffer eternal torment by being sent to nogunsland a.k.a. california.

Benellus, god of shotguns.

Blessed be our Ian.

Really? No king of Buckshot?

>Master baitman
Wouldn't be easier to say he was a "Master Baiter"

/k/ literally already created a religion based around the worship of firearms, and it's a helluva lot better than your pathetic attempt

Father Percussion, He who gifts the Boom

THIS PLEASES SLAANESH

Rise from your grave thread, rise for the glory of the cube

A Japanese roguelike called Elona has a god of machines named Mani. Following him grants you greater power with firearms and knowledge of mechanical operation, including stuff like lockpicking and trap disarming. Being particularly faithful will allow him to grant you a powerful android follower, and furthermore, a satellite laser. The final reward he gives you is the Winchester Premium, a very powerful shotgun weapon that can invoke a Silence AoE.

He is the most level-headed of the many gods you can choose from. He respects you, but never praises you too much at first. Later on he goes as far as to say he'll protect you with his very name if you plead your soul to him.

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Will a patron saint of firearms suffice?