How does your character solve problems?

As a Paladin of light(CG worshipper of the sun) with 7 int/10wis/18cha generally he's either going to try and bluff his way out of a situation, which is his go too as fighting is a last resort.

Though if you do resort to it, he's gonna smash your head in with his flaming Morningstar or spiked gauntlets if he loses hold of the Morningstar.

if the problem is life...

All problems are best solved through violence

...

Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild!

>implying any of them are competent enough to solve problems that aren't "(thing) is trying to kill me"

>tfw you're in a group where everyone is smart af

By punching it in the face to see if it helps.
... then roll diplomacy.

Poorly. He tries to weasel his way out of issues through diplomacy, but he'll often compromise more than he should. If violence is required, he can talk a good talk, but he's not very skilled in fighting.

>tfw my character is a raider who dreams of being a soldier

with gratuitous violence

The halfling waits for the inevitable violence. The wizard makes "attempts diplomacy" which is really just an attempt to get the enemy to relax before hitting them with a big spell. The cleric uses thaumaturgy to try and spook the enemy.

Special tactics.

By shooting them with plasma before they even get the chance to start monologue.

Can't trust a fucker that has to monologue.

Although occasionally, he also steals a gramophone and has a car chase with the MP.

Explosions generally work best.

>Target me with spell.
>My disposition significantly improves.

Despite being a fighter, he approaches problems with careful consideration. For every problem he solves with his axe, there's another he solves with careful thought and diplomacy, even if his diplomacy is kind of aggressive. The kind of guy who looks at the situation, understands his place in the room and then takes the best measures he can.

...

I had a barbarian character once that I let have my own phobia of being restrained as a character trait. Our party got defeated and arrested and thrown in a cell together for plot purposes and when the GM asked what we're doing my barbarian started hurling himself at the door a fear-induced rage/panic. He was like, 'what, that's dumb and will just hurt you' but my response was that while that may be true it's in character. While the party tried to figure a way out my character smashed into the door again and again taking damage constantly with a very low chance of success. The door broke before he did, and before the party came up with a clever solution.

Apply quarterstaff. If that doesn't work, liberally apply dinosaur. If even that doesn't work, very, very liberally apply combat magic. I'm not one for talking.

or you're just stupid as hell.

>megumi

Copious amounts of mind control. If he can't solve it directly this way, he mind controls someone who can.

Sex.

#rekt

Actually that comic is fairly accurate. Most my characters are either Roland Deschain or Princess Unikitty.

Throw servants at it. If that doesn't work, fight it head on.

One or more -typically all- of the following.
>copious amounts of alcohol and/or hard drugs
>debauchery worthy of bacchus
>blatantly lying about the threat of a lychanthrope being nearby when he knows the rogue is a damned werewolf
>arson

>Psionic wizard
He asks the goddess of knowledge, who he's training and essentially raising, the best course of action.
>Light-warlock
She shoots the fuck out of the problem with eldritch blast, until it stops twitching. And then some more.
>Rogue
If it's not human, kill it.
If it's human, try to solve it like a normal person would.
>Sun soul Monk
By panicking until someone comes up with a plan.
>Bard/Fighter gestalt
As nonviolently as possible. Him and his crew are ridiculously pacifistic.

>Most my characters are either Roland Deschain or Princess Unikitty.

The fact that I relate to this upsets me. Damn.

Violence. It's the Starfleet way.

>Demon: The Descent
>Destroyer demon

Meticulously elucidate the the situation and apply precisely measured force at the most critical component of the obstacle, causing it to collapse.

Usually starts with asking politely.
>IF response == rude
>>go to violence
>else
>>attempt to find agreeable compromise
>>IF no compromise OR response==rude
>>>threaten violence
>>>IF still no resolution
>>>>Violence

Fuck these civilized people and their expectations to not get run through if they mouth off.

Eat the villain. Playing a griffon in a primarily-equine setting has some perks, although the IC party is a bit creeped out if I demonstrate the food chain in front of them.

a bit creeped out if I demonstrate the food chain in front of them.

But not by the fact that you're playing a violent RPG based on a cartoon show for little girls?

My high elf wizard once turned himself into Groucho Marx and then attempted to negotiate our way out of a bandits camp while putting on an impersonation of Troy from swamp people

Of course it would, they're herbivores.

In-character, user. The group's fine with it so long as it's rare and we can get away with it, the party's a little squicked by it (and by another party member's need to feast on the positive emotions of others, another thing the players are fine with).
Plus, depending on the location, it turns likely cause of death from "mercenaries sent to kill this guy" (clean cuts, arrow puncture wounds, magic burns) to "wolves or some other wild creature" (haphazard gashes, messily torn, a good portion of his body is just missing).

>allowing a changeling to join your party

Literally nothing wrong with that. Changeling was great. She spent most of her time in a specific disguise, or all buggy as usual when alone with the party, and would occasionally take one of our forms to help mess with the others (including one part where both of them yelled "no, I'm the real changeling! Shoot me!"). Honestly the fluffy, closer to freeform stuff between adventures was a lot of fun.

Plan A is being a Jew. That is to say, he opens up negotiations before pussyfooting his way around the conversation until either the other guy accidentally gives him enough info for him to make an informed decision/drop blackmail that neither of them have a problem accepting, or he talks in circles so much that they'll accept just about anything if it means he'll shut up. Plan A.1 initiates if the other guy starts being a jerkass, in which case my character uses their elven elvishness to be an even bigger jerkass and be completely in the right, leading to the other guy being in less of a position to act like they own the place.

Plan B is to just not deal with the problem. If a guy is pointing a knife at you, see if you can't just slowly walk around him or find a detour back the way you came. If something he doesn't want to fight is chasing after him, ranger skills really help with finding hiding spots to just wait it out.

Only if fighting is THE only option does he employ Plan C and engage in combat, at a distance until melee is involved. He also shows some restraint in not straight-out murdering people that he fights, since he figures that killing people isn't a very nice thing to do and it would make his pacifist gf sad. The only exceptions stipulated in Plan C.1 are bestial enemies that cannot be reasoned with, enemies that will kill him if not killed first, or enemies that will kill others if not killed first.
I know this feel, every bunny caught and torn into at dinnertime is another delicious tick on the "more for me" counter.

Cancer

>vore loving brony

With liberal amounts of roboticizing nanomachines.

WITNESSED

>Playing a half-orc barbarian

>those quads
>that pic
Witnessed!

Collect information. Compare it to previously archived information. Study relevant clues and artifacts. Apply logic and reasoning. Pace around the room talking to himself for several minutes while figuring out how to best understand and resolve the problem.

Coordinate with the team, decide on the best plan to solve the problem. Gratuitous violence against anything that attempts to prevent the problem from being solved. Possible gratuitous violence against problem, if it provides a satisfactory solution. Return home. Have a nap, reflect on the job and archive the information gained in the library.

Good taste, user.

By being as distracting as possible in the manner best suited to the mission. Is the party infiltrating a ball or some other high class event? Play the part of a found out party crasher and keep the guards on me, leaving the rest free to have a bit more leeway than normal with their efforts. An ally is about to get caught and in communication with me on a heist? Break into someplace else as noisily as possible and get the police nice and focused on my spectacle, leaving the others with more time on their hands to work with. Party Face needs time to come up with a reasonable argument? Begin asking the other side questions until they either drop some tidbit that is of use or the face thinks of something. In combat, play the kind of defensive character that is mass debuffs and crowd focus, while also tanky enough to make them really mad while the rest do what they do best.

>tfw one of the Dark Angels exclusive spells on Deathwatch is just that

Gritty and incurious or sparkly anarchism, you can't go wrong.

Be friendly. Talk a lot. Let the smarter party members take the lead.

Then shoot whatever needs to be shot.

With a chainsaw, and he never has the same problem twice.

Try reasoning, if that doesn't work.
Whack them until they submit to reasoning.

Liberal application of retard strength, sometimes complemented by an enormous hammer.

If I take 45 damage on a strength strain check, all I have to do is not roll a 1 in order to rip apart steel manacles.

WITNESSED

Rolling to grapple.

As does most of the party

You disgust me.

Excessive force.

a) Sit down and talk with it.
b) Possibly hug it.
c) If it really doesn't want either, a bit of hypnotic pattern or color burst and repeat a) and b) as necessary

>Current party has 2 literally retarded people
>Other 2 people who are decently smart/educated
>If we split the party end up having to have one smart person go with the retards to prevent them from fucking up and dying/ruining our plans

At least said retards are proving to be useful in combat.

One of my characters once saved the party with the power of depression.

Basically we were up against a psychic asshole who could make people want to kill themselves. A whole bunch of NPCs had already been killed this way and the party knew of this. We weren't too eager to attack his base since we knew his power had a relatively short range, and attacking him would definitely put us within range.

So I discuss with the GM in private for a moment, and walk into the bad guy's base alone. GM describes all the corpses I come across who all killed themselves in awful ways, and my character starts feeling more and more like worthless shit the closer he gets to the bad guy.

Finally we get face to face, and the BBEG is all "fuck you why aren't you dead". And my guy just shoots him in the face.

The twist was that my character was already a depressed asshole from the start, so wanting to kill himself wasn't anything new and he has a resistance vs suicide due to being on meds.

...