The last thread was doing so well, it hit bumb limit in what, five hours? Let's go for a round two.
> When you're playing online, she ensures you that she's a girl in real life, though she refuses to share photos or speak in voice chat. Despite that, she ensures you that she's super hot and works as a stripper.
Suuuure.
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I played DnD with a stripper once, but that wasn't online
But the real problem is if they think you need to know about any of that.
>she refuses to share photos or speak in voice chat
Homie, I know so many dudes who are totally not down for doing that shit. Internet has shitheads, I wouldn't voicechat with randos.
Although, if the whole point was anonymity, "she" probably should have not said anything about her appearance or job in the first place.
Can you provide a link to the last thread? I don't want to say anything redundant.
I don't do voice chat because I'm mute.
Fuck you if you don't believe me.
I played with a prostitute, it was fine
I had more problems with the campaign she ran than anything else
okay then
Sometimes people let shit slip in conversation that they are just used to talking about or sharing in their friend circles or otherwise comfortable and controlled situations.
You hired a prostitute because you didn't find players?
Maybe the fact that she's female and works as a stripper, but most reasonable people wouldn't claim to be "super hot" over text chat.
No, I found an ad for a game in my lgs and lo and behold she was the GM
it was a mediocre d&d 3.5 campaign
That's beautiful.
>When they name their elven rogue Hamilton
who?
The idea of paying hookers to play your D&D campaign has its own bizarre joy, though.
Most reasonable people make poor jokes.
Say that to my face!
reminds me of this:
youtube.com
Who?
That sounds like the premise for a romantic comedy. A lonely nerd without friends hires a jaded prostitute who has been in the business for years... to play D&D. Even more surprisingly she enjoys it and a timeless friendship starts to evolve. He can tell that she's starting to become more optimistic and is taking efforts to turn her life around, she can tell that he's becoming more confident and comfortable around women. And let's not forget about the heartwarming climax where the nerd gets a girlfriend and invites her over as a third player, making things really awkward for the (now ex-)prostitute. Especially because the lovebirds are sickingly lovey-dovey.
You can pinpoint the exact moment her heart breaks.
>NTR
It needs to die
Why does this trigger everyone so?
It's not really a happy ending if he ends up with used good, is it? And not even used goods in the "lonely Christmas cake left behind by her own generation" sense, because that'd actually be kind of cute.
I don't believe you. Fuck yourself mutie.
> used goods
Use bleach as mouthwash.
Well, fuck me, I'd watch that.
Don't be so harsh, you can't expect him to understand relationships or even how humans work.
Cast John Reilly and Andrea Dematteo.
Id pay to see that.
Frame perfect heart break?
"beer me"
>she Ensures me instead
BITCH I AM NOT ON A DIET
>s-sorry user, I just wanted to ensure you didn't... didn't break any more chairs...
CHAIRS? CHAIRS ARE THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT BEING BROKEN, I ASSURE YOU
I just googled them and shit, they'd actually be great. John Reilly is maybe a bit too old, but other than that they're perfect.
But then he finds out the girlfriend is even a greater whore than the ex prostitute and he ends up with the ex prostitute in the end.
The ex girlfriends becomes a prostitute herself now, to still her hunger for sex.
Then he becomes a whore
>But then he finds out the girlfriend is even a greater whore
Why doesn't he become voluntarily celibate?
That'd be a great set-up for the sequel: he's now a total ladies man who manks panties drop everywhere he goes, but he now hates women so it's more of a curse than a blessing.
IT NEEDS TO DIE
He hates women, so he ends up having angry sex with all of them. And they pay him for it.
so
He spirals downwards, injecting drugs into his dick and becoming dependent on his dealer. She in turn exploits him, offering free or discounted rates in turn for sex. Sometimes she'll just withhold from him unless he sleeps with her friends.
It ends with him looking in spoon that once held drugs and seeing his own reflection, realizing what he has become.
>she ensures you
>ensures
This is triggering me.
It's moral masochism.
...
I doubt it'd have any emotional impact on most of the viewers if it's a man rather than a woman.
>butipoopfromthere.jpg
>What is Taxi
>Scratch that, what is most of the history of tragedy
You can't deny that, especially for modern humans, it's far easier to identify with a woman than with a man. I can imagine the Old Greeks identifying with other men more easily because not only were women not allowed to attend (even female characters were played by trappy male actors) but women in that culture were seen as barely better than children.
>You can't deny that, especially for modern humans, it's far easier to identify with a woman than with a man.
Sure I can. Sure, we identify purity/innocence/goodness more with women than men, meaning their downfall can have more punch from that specific perspective (if that's how its played), but even then there are ways around that.
Also, women were definitely seen as more than children by at least some people. Just read the Iliad -- women aren't helpless emotional tards who can't do anything, although I am sure plenty of Greeks thought they were.
isn't that the whole point of fetishes like that? like "oh that really makes upset pal. and sexed up"
if you aren't getting a boner then you're just plain perturbed.
there was a foreign movie with a similar premise, but I forget the name. A spoilt gangsters wife has to get a job in a gaming store when the gangster is jailed, and has to learn about DnD or something. She starts to like it and leaves the gangster for one of the nerds at the store. It was swedish or something.
I mean of all the fetishes out there, NTR seems to be the one that can kill threads due to bickering about it. Others are ignored, ridiculed or whatever, but NTR divides people like nothing else.
Women have qualities men don't have. And men have qualities women don't have.
One gender shouldn't put down the other.
Nah.
>Women have qualities men don't have.
Name one.
Are you fucking joking?
They're soft and they smell nice.
>implying anything in the universe could actually convince you
I mean it matters very little, unless you're playing with voicechat. Why you getting caught up in other people's lies?
I am not. I see no reason why I should not put down another gender.
Men can be soft and smell nice too you fucking faggot.
I was talking more about the ying yang principle.
The men is the hunter, the sun, provides food.
The woman is the guardian of the home, the moon, raises the children.
But you could boil it down to:
Woman quality is vagina.
Men quality is penis.
Women is looking for penis.
Men is looking for vagina.
Both complete each other.
ITT: >Shit that didn't happen two
>electric boogalo
Go back to your trap threads and 'feminine' penises. Women have those qualities more often than not, men do not more often than not.
The girlfriend invites some of her friends over to play, and the party grows, meanwhile the ex-prostitute lapses back into her old self, quickly growing more depressed. Eventually the girlfriend determines that it is kind of weird that the nerd keeps inviting back this prostitute who obviously has some feelings for the nerd, and that she has to go.
The nerd relents, pressured into it by his growing group of friends, and his relationship with the girlfriend, he stops inviting her to games, feeling too guilty to tell her outright. He slowly accrues a horde of texts from the ex-prostitute wondering when the next game is. Feeling even worse, he determines she at least deserves to know the truth.
He meets with her alone for one last two-player game. Instantly she seems revitalized when she sees it will just be the two of them for this session. The nerd smiles outwardly, but is crushed inside. At the end of the session, she tearfully tells him that she loves him, but that she doesn't believe she deserves him, and that she hopes he is happy with her. Adding that she hopes she can still remain friends with him. At this the nerd breaks down into tears as well, and informs her of the situation. She listens with a blank expression, though the tears still hang fresh on her face, the crying has ceased. She gives a very obviously forced smile as she says she understands, and that she won't bother them anymore, and leaves without saying another word.
As he cleans up the assorted game material he notices that on the table her dice sit forlornly, dice the nerd had bought for her as a gift when she first started playing. He packages up the dice for her, intent on returning the dice, but he can't bring himself to contact her.
Some days later, the nerd finally attempts to contact her. His calls are not returned, nor his texts. He sighs, browsing the daily local news, he sees a familiar face in the obituaries.
BAD END
Oh? We're at "more often than not" now, are we? Funny, I don't remember that qualifier.
>"Can we have the game at my house this weekend? I'm supposed to watch the kids."
Yes. Faggot.
> You're playing Eberron? Great! I will play as a shifter.
You made me feel sad for used goods, I won't forgive you for this.
Soz, I needed practice writing about bad things happening to characters I like.
ALTERNATE ENDING:
...At the end of the session, she tearfully tells him that she loves him, but that she doesn't believe she deserves him, and that she hopes he is happy with her. Adding that she hopes she can still remain friends with him. At this the nerd breaks down into tears as well, and knows what he must do. He told her that he loved her also. Her eyes go wide with surprise and she hastens to stammer a response. She asks him about his current girlfriend, and he responds that he has realized that she is not the girl for him, and pulls her into an embrace.
His disengages and pulls out his phone and contacts the soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, and informs her that he is breaking up with her. The screams can be heard across the room, she accuses him of wanting to be with the ex-prostitute, and he informs her that she is absolutely right, and that he could never be with somebody as cruel as herself. Figuring he has about used up his allotment of courage for the day, he hangs up on her without another word. He smiles at her, she smiles at him, and they both sit down for another game. Later that night, he discovers that he had a little bit more courage left than he thought.
GOOD END
Don't cave in so fast faggot, have some self respect.
Embrace your anger.
Sometimes I get the impression there's a lot of men on these boards who have a numerous unresolved resentments, hostility and shame towards women.
Gee, you think?
I think it's an easy cop out to say that if someone has issues with women then they must be shameful basement dwellers.
What is he copping out of though?
He's saying that many anons have a problem with women and that it's likely due to being NEETs.
Really? What makes you say that?
Nah, some people who get laid and live active lives can't stand the opposite sex for anything other than sex.
You're right. The question is whether those resentments and hostility are justified or not. But most people are happy to just diagnose them and automatically conclude they're in the wrong.
>The question is whether those resentments and hostility are justified or not.
It has to be a really fucking good justification to resent/be hostile about half of humanity.
Like, did a pair of X chromosomes bully you in utero or something?
>>It has to be a really fucking good justification to resent/be hostile about half of humanity.
What is third wave feminism.
Not half of humanity.
Instant red-flags.
>characters sexuality is mentioned before it becomes relevant.
I.e. If you introduce your character as "she's a lesbian elf bard", as opposed to "she's an elf bard" and then mentioning she's a lesbian when a guy starts hitting on her.
>character is transgender, Demi-queer, or any other such crap.
If you're doing a role playing heavy campaign or a parody campaign then you can probably get away with it, but don't be bringing "thronda the Demi-queer transsexual" to my hack n' slash dungeon crawler"
>character is directly ripping off an established work of media
As above, it's okay if you're doing a parody or a joke in a light hearted game where other people are okay with it, but if you're running a serious campaign then I don't expect to see "Erika the snow witch".
It's not NTR if you never had them to begin wtih senpai.
>>How sensitive are you to trans people, and how prevalent are they in this world?
While that is a bit of a flagged one (I'm super hot but no I won't show you, teehee), I totally get the whole no voice and no pictures thing.
I'm a girl. I'm shy as fuck. Unless voice chat is ABSOLUTELY NEEDED I'll forgo it because it's way easier for me to socialize while typing. And I don't post pictures because I just don't want to.
>He fell for the virgin meme.
You know what feels good?
Knowing that I'm better then any of her previous lovers.
And sauce, the googles and the iqdbs do nothing.
But user, it's so satisfying to make sweeping generalizations to justify your prejudices! Then you're always right and anyone who points out otherwise is making things up.
What kind of assholes name their kid Mute?
> I want to play as a sith.
> I want to play as a twi'lek ex-slave. Yes, she dresses like slave Leia, why are you asking?
ShindoL
>any player who doesn't want to use a core race or core class
>any player playing a gnome
>any player playing a monk
>any forever GM who decides they want to play
>any forever player who decides they want to GM
>all 4E players
What did gnomes and monks do to you, user?
>any forever GM who decides they want to play
>any forever player who decides they want to GM
I get the feeling that you can't win with you
>any player who doesn't want to use a core race or core class
Wanna bet he plays 3.PF?
Nah. We're all the same. A tragedy for one is a tragedy for all.
That was before XXI century, now this is our reality and future youtube.com
Not OP but I'd give the boot purely on the fact of bullshitting and her bringing up more than needed.
Just saying that you're a girl is "ok whatever" because it literally doesn't matter for the game.
If alleged-girl keeps bringing up, saying how she's totally hot and etc whatever, then that calls suspicion for both truthfulness and motives. And I'm not going to like that.
Also related funny story
>in an online game, no voice, half the party is female characters, mine included
>gm says that he's going to refer to everybody OOC as male to keep things simple
>everybody agrees
>after a while I notice he starts referring to me as "she" in OOC
>I'm not but IDGAF to correct and just chuckle silently
I like to make vague comments about my gender while playing with randoms, creating a mystery out of nothing and getting really defensive if somebody asks me directly. I don't have any specific reason for doing it, it's just for shits and giggles. People keep taking the bait.
Players tend to make to make terrible GM's and GM's tend to make terrible players. Obviously there's got to be a learning curve and the person can improve in their role.
But in general it is a massive red flag for me if a person who normally plays GM's or a person who normally GM plays. From experience the forever player will have no idea what they are doing and tend to run heavy combat focussed games and the forever GM will derail shit constantly by giving you advice on how to GM midsession. 'Topping from the bottom' as it were.
>Players tend to make to make terrible GM's and GM's tend to make terrible players
wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut
>>Hey can my friend Wil Wheaton join?
I do that too, what's funny is when it happens without me even trying.
>Swedish