Stat me, Veeky Forums

Stat me, Veeky Forums.

10/10 HP
Wallbuilding: maximum
Hair: Controversial.

>8 str
>8 dex
>8 con
>9 int
>6 wis
>16 cha
>Chaotic Neutral

>god emperor
>that hairdo
no.

The man who will save America.

-10 HP

[insert obligatory owlbear stats here]

Well you've provided the stats for his toupee, what about the rest of him?

>NE Small humanoid (trumpoid)

>Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception –1

>Defense

>AC 16, touch 13, flat-footed 14 (+2 armor, +2 Dex, +1 shield, +1 size) hp 6 (1d10+1) Fort +3, Ref +2, Will –1

>Offense

>Speed 30 ft.

>Melee short sword +2 (1d4/19–20)

>Ranged short bow +4 (1d4/×3)

>Statistics

>Str 11, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 9, Cha 6

>Base Atk +1; CMB +0; CMD 12

>Feats Improved Initiative

>Skills Ride +10, Stealth +10, Swim +4; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth

>Languages Trump

>Ecology

>Environment temperate forest and plains (usually coastal regions)

>Organization gang (4–9), warband (10–16 with trump dog mounts), or tribe (17+ plus 100% noncombatants; 1 sergeant of 3rd level per 20 adults; 1 or 2 lieutenants of 4th or 5th level; 1 leader of 6th–8th level; and 10–40 trump dogs, wolves, or worgs)

>Treasure NPC gear (leather armor, light wooden shield, short sword, short bow with 20 arrows, other treasure)

>Trumps prefer to dwell in caves, amid large and dense thickets of thistles and brambles, or in structures built and then abandoned by others. Very few trumps have the drive to build structures of their own. Coastlines are favored, as trumps are quite fond of sifting through junk and flotsam in an unending quest to find treasures among the refuse of more civilized races.

>Trump hatred runs deep, and few things inspire their wrath more than hillaries (who have long fought against trumps), bernies (who frighten trumps tremendously), and regular dogs (whom trumps regard as pale imitations of trump dogs).

kek
stats are in Monster Manual, NPC appendix, "Noble"

>Languages: Trump

kek

...

This feels like the one most true to the original, but you probably gotta chuck in a feat or two to explain why the media refuses to touch him despite a multitude of criminal embarassments?

Lvl 1 commoner in D20modern who managed to pull off a crit on a roll to aquire other people's fortune.

Did you know that hair is real and not a toupee?

...

I always thought it looked real, personally.

It looks like a really bad comb over, but it looks real.

...

They should have a dead person be a candidate the next election.
The media
>implying
that the other candidates clearly can't be honest about being alive would be hilarious.

Didn't sleep through Behpngazi: 10/10
Has a hot spouse: 10/10
Doesn't Blame Women for Bill Clinton's Behavior: 10/10
Plans to Build a Wall: 2/10
No Health Issue Colapses: 10/10
Can Figure Out Email: 10/10
Isn't Hillary Cunton: : 100/10

>They should have a dead person be a candidate the next election.
Bernie already ran this year.

You know he has his interns print out the top news stories so he can read them in paper instead of on a screen, right?

You bastard, I broke a rib today and have an existing broken rib, and you're making me kek like this.

Switches stances more than a martial artist 10/10
Bankruptcy 4/4
Has rape allegations pending against him 13/17
Is an irate crispy chicken nugget 10/10
Blames Hillary for shit he's started 10/10
Has the potential to out-creep Woody Allen 5/10
Never pays what he owes to contractors 10/10
Inexplicably NOT being raked over the coals by the media 15/10
Just kidding, he bought the media's love 10/10