Player wants to bring their girlfriend

I have. Multiple times, in fact. So long as everyone's courteous and doesn't start shit, it's fine.

Gamers' girlfriends all seem to be some 'Er Indoors stereotype from a blue collar comedy

Do they go home to see a fat 50 year old in hair curlers, slippers and an apron brandishing a rolling pin.and yelling about how their dinner is in the bin because they were down the bloody pub again and there she was working her fingers to the bone making him.his dinner etc

wut?

just say that it in the interest of everyone at the table you aren't having people that aren't interested in roleplaying, and it's a distraction that's going to impede immersion teamwork.

if she WANTS to play, fine, but she's expected to make an effort to act, roleplay, learn the game and have fun. if she can't or doesn't want to do that she's not invited.

it's simple.

wtf? Do you even roleplay? Not everyone was the greatest character actor their first time and these games have a lot of weirdness to wrap your head around.

Are you dense? He said she was expected to make an effort, not to be a great actor.

Have you tried talking to her about this?

>I know his girlfriend, and she definitely won't enjoy playing tabletops ...

So we have OP and Boyfriend,both deciding things for her?

Why not just, radical idea, I know, ASK HER?

If she actually WANTS to play: Cool, have her play, maybe you get an awesome new gamer!

If she doesn't actually want to play and just does it because Boyfriend is nagging her to do it: Have her play one night so she can tell him she tried and didn't have fun, and all can part happily. (Except for Boyfriend, but fuck him.)

And maybe she does want to give it a try but has a different idea from what your game actually is like, then you can put the record straight and let her decide if she still wants to try it despite probably not enjoying it or if she'll just pass.

In all of this: Ignore Boyfriend, if he's the kinda dude he sounds like, you probably don't want him interefering here one way or the other.

i do, and i was shit once, but i wanted to get better and was invested in it, and now im better.

im saying if that's not the mentality she's in coming to the table then just ask her to sit it out.

"Hey dude, I'm going to be honest, I don't think your gf will really enjoy RPG's. She's free to try of course, I'd be happy if it actually does work out, but I think you should reconsider and decide for yourselves if this will actually be fun for both. Hope there's no hard feelings, give it some time to think it over."

>Honestea is best tea

>user only plays with horrible people and thinks every situation is the same

This is a relevant thread so I'll ask here.

I DMed for the first time for 4 friends, running lost mines of phandelver cause we're all dnd virgins.
2 hours in the girlfriend of one of the guys shows up and starts talking about what character she wanted to play and asking how I'd bring her in.

Neither I or the guy who's house we were at had any idea she was coming.

Im fuming but just keep calm and say I can't intro her because they aren't near any towns or anything. Once the characters get back to town I just say im tired and wrap it up.

The next day I shoot the guy with the gf a message saying wtf and that I'm not comfortable DMing for her.

What makes it worse is that my gf hates the other gf so it just looks like im being petty but im mostly pissed that she just showed up and acted like she was entitled to play.

So am I being a dick for refusing to DM if shes there? The guy won't come without her...

When I brought my gf into our game, she played a little kid that killed an old ladies dog with a giant double dildo before sneaking onto a giant airship and running away from Raver Gangs a log.

Best Shadowrun game ever.

Sounds like a situation where everyone is being a shithead.

Flipping out over another person being in the group is an overreaction, being upset will do just fine. You kinda acted on the baby-tantrum side of disgruntled.

There is existing drama between relationship shit that's making everything shitty

You kinda dug your own grave from where I'm sitting. Try apologizing for flipping out but that you don't appreciate people just showing up and just hopping in when you didn't plan for it.

I wish that sourcebook was real.

I'm only replying because I made that GURPS Lesbians image. Also, my wife is at our table every week and folks love her and rely on her to be a voice of reason at the table. What I'm saying is, I'm not really qualified to answer this question.

Is the issue that she showed up unannounced (Which I totally agree is kinda shitty) or that she wants to play at all. (Which might be you being a bit of a dick, although people don't HAVE to play with somebody they don't like.)

Find out why you don't actually want her at the table and then tell those involved. If you're all adults about it (Yeah I know...) things should work out.

>So am I being a dick for refusing to DM if shes there?
Kinda, she hasn't done anything wrong yet has she? Sure, she turned up unannounced and wanted to play, but that's not so weird if you don't have a clue about RPG etiquette. If you have a board game night and someone extra comes over, you invite them to play, right?
Maybe she's a really fun player, maybe you should give her a chance.
But it seems like you have some personal issues with her and your own gf, FUCKING SORT THOSE OUT BEFORE EVEN CONSIDERING LETTING HER PLAY. Seriously, it's not on her, it's on all of you, you hope for a group to work if there are personal issues lurking behind the corner. Get your shit together. All off it. Put it in a backpack.

Thanks TG, i didnt think i flipped out but i was mad. Im not so comfortable roleplaying infront of someone i dont know well which is my issue.

My gf doesn't know she was there so thats not an issue currently but couldnt easily become one.

>My gf doesn't know she was there so thats not an issue
If you think you should hide it from your gf to avoid an issue, you definitely have an issue.

> Im not so comfortable roleplaying infront of someone i dont know well which is my issue.

I hear yah dude. It's important to acknowledge these things and share them with peeps so everyone knows what's up.

Be honest with the gf. I don't see how you can have a constant game with someone she hates and have things come out well (unless it's purely a personal issue)

OP here:

It's not all an male group, we have one girl already in the group who is perfectly fine and enjoys it. The entire session is at her request, it's just that I'm GMing.

The trouble with his girlfriend is she really doesn't make an effort generally speaking. I know she will just sit there on her phone and sigh or start playing music and just being a distraction.

"Hey, you're free to come, but I'm afraid you'll just sit there on your phone and sigh or start playing music and just being a distraction"?

I have no personal issue with the girl but theres a big catfight with her and my gf so i feel guilty by proxy.

Kinda thought it'd be a boys poker night situation

>playing with girls

Then play and tell your gf that other gf is a cool person if the game keeps going and she is a consistent player.

Just do the session.
If she is a distraction, calmly tell her to stop doing that and if she doesn't enjoy the game she's free to leave.
Afterwards it probably won't even necessary to tell your player that it doesn't work.

I see what you did there. Here's a (you).
Sage advice too, user. Hope he listens.

Give her a fair chance, OP.

Yes there's a chance she won't enjoy herself, that's true of anyone. But there's also a chance someone completely unexpected discovers a hobby they do love. Isn't that worth the risk? Wouldn't that be beautiful?

Everyone's motivations for playing RPGs is as different as the character options themselves. Some people want to live out their secret author-insert character from their fanfics they'll never let anyone read, some people want to play as idealized versions of themselves, some people want to play personalities radically different from their own, some people just want to play something goofy like a dildo-wielding barbarian, some people are AAAAACTOOORS looking to AAAAACCCTTT!, while some people are crunchy power gamers looking to kick ass and chew bubble gum, either as a domination power-fantasy or just because they're more interested in the 'game' part of tabletop gaming.

I've learned to stop guessing whether or not someone 'would like' tabletop gaming. C.S. Lewis wrote extensively on the usefulness of fantasy worlds to alleviate tension in the human psyche; everyone has their own motivations for seeking out a simpler, alternate world to occupy for a short while. Give her (like you give all your players) a rich, living world to escape into. Let her find out if she really likes it or not, without relying on initial prejudices.

Give her a fair chance, OP.

Have an alternative activity ready for anyone who gets bored. Which obviously might be her. If you're friends with her, a private chat might help solve both your problems.

Bravo! Good image.

And yeah my friends and their wives are all roleplayers, so I can't relate either.

I will say, a true GURPS supplement would be written by actual lesbians. Or maybe one lesbian and one "lesbian" porn star. Then coauthored by RPK or someone.

I had a game once where a girl was the DM and her boyfriend was one of the players, and that went fairly well. Wasn't a serious campaign, though.

>How can I politely tell him not to bring her? He's a bit sensitive and I don't want to offend him.
Kick him.

Sound advice. OP, listen to this guy.

>she definitely won't enjoy playing tabletops
What about her temperament seems incompatible if you don't mind me asking?
Does either seem to be pressuring the other over this?

If she hasn't played D&D maybe she thought it would just be like dropping in on the next round of Catan or something. Lotta people who haven't played don't realize what a slog chargen can be.

Personally, I keep pregens around and usually work a few prisoner rooms into my dungeons just in case somebody wants to join (or rejoin after a death).

And it does get worse than drop ins, when it comes to new players. I've been invited to games thinking someone else was DMing, only to be told I was expected to run the game on fucking arriving.

>not comfortable in front of people you don't know well
>guilty getting along with someone your SO dislikes
At least it sounds like you're self-aware enough to know the problem is on your end.

This, while seemingly unreasonable, is the only right answer.

>let her come for one session just to be able to politely say it didn't work
Too late. That session progresses story and with the table being completely different by throwing in someone's girlfriend will make everything end up out of the previous sessions progression.

She will more than likely not be all that interested, take up time by talking about stupid shit with her bf, make other players embarrassed to play their characters as they normally do (assuming you play with a bunch of pussies), need to learn the rules which slows down everything, and will see white-knighting and favoring from her bf's character in any instance because he wants his dick wet.

Maybe I could be wrong. Maybe she brings snacks, studies the rules prior to starting, bro's it out and makes everything nonawkward for the others, and ends up being a great addition to the party.

But out of the four times players/DMs have included their gf/wife, in my experience, four times have sessions been ruined and two campaigns lost.

Tell him to fuck off.

how about, because this is only a fucking game and you are all allegedly functional human beings who can live normal lives, you talk to each other and say something like

>hey, someone new is interested in joining in, let's put the campaign on hold for a week, run a simple one shot to show them the ropes and see if they enjoy it. If they do, we can see about writing them into the campaign proper.

This way you can teach a new player the rules in a more easygoing environment, which is how normal functional humans do things

also how fucking unable to function do you have to be as an adult male to want to cheat at a game to let your partner win

how the fuck do you even maintain a relationship if you can't fucking interact like normal human beings

similarily "my players can't cut loose and act normal around strangers"

how the FUCK do you people fucking live if your normal way of acting is baseline "would make strangers avoid you"? and how the fuck is this guy in question in any kind of reasonable length relationship with someone he has to walk on eggshells not to drive off? if he really can't be himself around her then the relationship is doomed

Unfuck yourselves you socially retarded fucksticks and learn to live like normal functional humans

She's just not the sort of person with any long-term attention span. He brought her a long one night when we were just playing cards and she was just hard work. It was just awkward as she sat there miserable, sighed loudly and just stared at her phone as her boyfriend asked her every few minutes "are you ok?" when she was clearly bored rigid.

This is the most sensible course of action I've seen ITT, you never know, she may enjoy herself, but if she isn't going to, you'll find out after a few sessions.

Best not to fuck up the coherency of a group that gets along by grognarding up and saying his gf can't come for no reason.

Your best bet is just to ignore their relationship as much as possible when you're DMing and just consider it another PC to work with. A DM responding to this sort of thing can be far, far more disruptive than a player.

If she likes it and isn't disruptive, then you got a new party-member. If she doesn't like it, see

was she actually part of the game or did her partner just leave her watching

I only ask because I have seen people so socially retarded they take wives/kids etc to social events and make them just sit and watch

if she was involved in the game but not paying attention that's a bit rude but there's every chance she wasn't enjoying the game

Gotta second this: Also gotta ask again if she's being dragged along by the guy or pestering him/you to let her join. Mild curiosity.

Bitch, i've played with my gf as a player and DM just fine. But it sounds like you never palyed with your gf because you just never had one

Oh no, everybody made an effort to try and get her included and we'd all had dinner at my place. She was just being rude and it sort of soured the atmosphere for the rest of us. I guess there was only so much he could say without having an argument in front of us all.

She's pestering him to come along. But I think it's because we'll be doing it on a weekend and she just wants to see her boyfriend rather than any desire to take part. Sorry, I realised that I didn't reply to that question the first time.

Who's the blonde one?

That is unfortunate. I'm inclined to agree that you don't want someone there if they're not really there to play.

>just wants to see him on a weekend
I've been there a bit. Current SO and I have 50 hour work weeks and odd hours. So sometimes we sort of tag along with each other to stuff we're not totally into. Hopefully she can learn to either give him some space or handle that sort of thing gracefully. But it's really not on you to force it.

>>hey, someone new is interested in joining in, let's put the campaign on hold for a week, run a simple one shot to show them the ropes and see if they enjoy it. If they do, we can see about writing them into the campaign proper.

Or, instead of impeding everyone else, a new player can sit and watch the current party and learn that way. You'd arguably learn more from that than playing some mini tutorial that stops the main campaign.

They will see how everyone is playing their current characters out, make their character accordingly, and learn the mechanics that the mini tutorial would have given in the process.

But this isn't just some player wanting to join, this is someone's gf/wife joining. They will get preferential treatment from their partner and will get real life shut in the way of the session every time.

Tell fuck every other sentence while also accusing others of being nonfunctioning social beings all you want, the irony is palpable, but that's just what people do. You give better treatment to who you're fucking, others will feel they are being treated unfairly because of this, factions form, uncharacteristic actions follow in-game, and then it's just a competition to see who will pause the session to south out at the bullshit that's happening at the table.

Every. Single. Time.

So talk to her. Here's a script for you:

"Hey, I heard you want to play in our game on the weekend. While it's ok per se, I'm a bit worried, because last time you didn't really enjoy it that much and that kinda makes things suck for us too.

If this is just about you spending time with Boyfriend, maybe find something else/another time for you two to do that?"

Then, if she still insists run a oneshot seperate from the campaign. (Easier on her and less bother for the existing group.)

If it sucks: Ok, you gave it a try and you're now perfectly in your rights to not have her come again.

If it doesn't: Yay, you now have a new, cool player. Have fun.

Either way, you acted like a normal human being and avoided most of the pointless geek drama.

>Or, instead of impeding everyone else, a new player can sit and watch the current party and learn that way. You'd arguably learn more from that than playing some mini tutorial that stops the main campaign

It is a fucking game you mouthbreathing cockstick, the world will not end if you put your epic campaign on hold for one fucking week to make a new player feel welcome and teach them the rules

Being told to sit and watch is a surefire way to make someone feel like an outsider and won't usefully help them learn how to play because you won't be explaining it from first principles, WHICH IS HOW YOU TEACH NEW PLAYERS A COMPLEX GAME

>They will get preferential treatment from their partner and will get real life shut in the way of the session every time.

Are you fucking high, or just still associating with high schoolers? The only marriages where a man has to let his wife win at games are those on the highway to divorce court, because people in normal relationships understand that games aren't real life

>You give better treatment to who you're fucking, others will feel they are being treated unfairly because of this, factions form, uncharacteristic actions follow in-game, and then it's just a competition to see who will pause the session to south out at the bullshit that's happening at the table.

Maybe if you exclusively associate with literal horny teens trying to get their crush to make out, or people in failing marriages

Normal human beings don't give "preferential treatment to who they're fucking" over FUCKING BOARD GAMES

How the fuck do retards like you manage to live unassisted

>Prep a whole session for one player.
>Have a person watch from the outside.

You're both morons. If you have any genuine interest in introducing her, just give her a damn NPC to run for one session. If she's into it she can opt to keep it or get a brand new character.

>How can I politely tell him not to bring her?

"I think she wont enjoy it and might crap it up for the rest of us."

If your not a person who can straight talk whats on their mind, then that should be a bigger objective than this.

C'mon, give me a break. People get offended over the smallest things. And I worry that both he and her will take it as a slight if I say "I don't think this is for her."

Couples need time to themselves. Its just naïveté to try and force tge person you're with I to something clearly only you enjoy. Your s/o doesn't ask to go shopping with her girl friends does she?

And if yo say you do then big fucking whoop. Most guys don't care to be a flamming wet towel to their bitch.

Obscure hobbies are not the place to bring your date

Sounds like neither of them are your friend. Why are you playing with them in the first place?

>prep a whole session for one player

jesus christ if it's that much fucking work to put together a simple dungeon crawl to teach someone how to roleplay go on the internet and pirate a premade module, most game systems have specific beginner ones

If you aren't the regular GM, the GM gets a break, you come across as friendly and going the extra mile to be a decent.person and everyone wins

Sort yourselves out

It's everybody's weekend, and the time spent prepping. For one player. For a throwaway session.

As opposed to literally zero time for something that's more inclusive.

youre also an attention whoring trip fag cuck

Adults are more than capable of allocating alone time with their loved ones.

>clearly only you enjoy

Says who? It's up to your significant other to decide whether or not they are interested in your hobby.

>obscure hobbies are not the place to bring your date

If you're in a relationship, she is no longer your "date" and a session of tabletop gaming would unlikely be treated like a movie night or something.

There is definitely more nuance to a situation like this than you are letting on in your post.

>For a throwaway session.
Do you not find one shots fun? Then again I'm of a different opinion of the person saying it's to teach them the rules, bring in a system that you've been wanting to try, just try to get some table dynamics going with the one shot. Rules can be learned as they come up, not interacting with the table is what kills games. It's just an ice breaker one shot and it can work well. If you ended your previous session on a cliffhanger and everyone is salivating on what is coming next, just push off the one shot to the next week and let the new player know that it is going to be later.

Just don't be a dick and try to put every session end on a cliffhanger when you do that.

Bring your dog or cat and insist that it is now playing the game. He'll catch on REAL quick.

One shots are fine on their own. When you're not in a campaign, or when half the party doesn't show up, or when you're with like one party member and a bunch of other people who aren't part of the campaign.

Putting the thing you do for three people every week on hold isn't something that should never happen. But it's the kind of thing you need a decent reason for and don't want to do all the time. It's easy to have a campaign peter out if you as GM don't keep the habit.

I basically wouldn't do it for one prospective player, and wouldn't do it when there's an easy alternative in just letting them join with a pregen.

I don't have anything to contribute

How often do you have prospective players coming into your game? For me I saw it maybe 3 times in 4 years, not counting people who used to play with the group coming back (I joined a group shortly after their old place closed and they kind of scattered in the wind, it was rebuilding). Right now I haven't seen it happen in ages, but I play online because I live in the middle of nowhere.

Mad props for the image, your work is second to only the legend that is GURPS Asparagus.

I play at an open-ish table and live in a city. Maybe I'm an exception, but if I ran a separate game for every new player that'd happen every other or every third week.

>play dnd with same group for a while
>always tell gf later about what happened
>she's interested in playing
>group is hesitant since she has never played anything tabletop before, but decide it can't hurt
>I help her make a character, explain stuff before game, etc.
>she sticks around for a few games but finds out she doesn't like playing that much buy enjoys watching and listening
>no one cried, got hurt, or insulted each other cause none of us are fucking manchildren

Then I think I see where the differences in our opinions lie. Yeah that would be way to disruptive,

>dwarf paladin bleeding out on the floor
>cleric is out of spells
>paladin gasps out his last words
>"it's okay lads... at least I'm not having tea with... the... wife...!.!..!.!"

If only the GURPS Lesbians book was legit.

Would be fun to read.

Kick him from the group for the suggestion.

>fag cuck

Ah, I think we've found the problem

Number one killer of campaigns is bringing a girlfriend along, followed closely by diabeetus. Been there, done that, it never ends well and she ends up being like . If you REALLY like this guy, tell him she can come once, but if she starts hindering the game then they are both out. Girlfriends and D&D rarely mix, and if they do they mix like gasoline and matches.

It's nice to see that someone in this thread understands how to interact with other human beings.

>tfw my wife is the designated party healer
>learns the rules pretty well as long as she has access to the pdf
>Usually roleplays as being mute cause she's partially deaf so it comes naturally
>Everyone's cool with having her there, esp cause none of them can heal by themselves
>She plays 40k, DW/DH, everything with us
>No ones ever complained or anything

>hey, someone new is interested in joining in
No, it's not "someone new", it's one of the player's cocksleeves. This isn't exactly a "someone responded to our groups online LFG message" or "this friend of mine is interested in trying out RPGS", it's "hey guys, mind if I take my semen disposal to the game?".

You know how everyone here whines about magical realms and how you should keep your dick in your pants during the game? The same should apply to your cocksleeves.

And what kind of pussy wants to involve his fucktoy in fucking everything he does anyway? Doesn't he have a life outside her?

>Significant others can't possibly be interested in what I like
>No one loves me and I don't know why

>be grill
>engaged to another grill
>we've both been playing TTRPGs since high school
>laugh at dumb men on Vietnamese sculpture board who can't into social interaction

>be grill
steaks or gtfo

>Easy mode
>Somehow this invalidates how we poison everything

I've got a similar situation with a guy who wants to get his girlfriend into D&D but she doesn't seem much into it.
Try talking to him about how they don't have to do and like everything together, and that they can have separate interests. She dives at the Baltimore Aquarium, he plays D&D, there's no such thing as a 1:1 male-female match.

what if the dm is a girl and she brings her boyfriend?

I've never heard of a nightmare scenario involving a DMs or a player's boyfriend. Think about that.
Hell, I'd rather have a male player's boyfriend join the group than anyone's girlfriend. The worst thing that can happen in that scenario is that we get a really campy bard who grabs everyone's ass.

Same, but my wife is the party murder machine and I'm the support. Feelsgoodman.jpg

Why are so many RPG players such bitter losers like this guy, Veeky Forums?

Man, there's a whole lot of bitter prospective wizards in here trying their hardest to keep distraction to their future magical powers away from their lives.

Okay, OP, you say she's got a low attention span and spends a bunch of time sighing, dicking with her phone and clearly being bored.

Talk to her. Directly. You need to find out if this is your player badgering her into doing something he finds fun, her honestly being curious at what you guys do, or her attempt to stick a wedge in the group and extricate her man from what she perceives as a waste of time that's taking him away from her. Any could be possible. Don't prejudge until you've spoken to her.

One of my first girlfriends sounds a lot like your friend's gf, and only turned up to games to dick around on her laptop, sigh at being ignored, and the one time we tried to get her into the game was a total failure and a wasted session.

In contrast - my wife was a complete non-gamer when I met her. Through introducing her to various games over time I've found her tastes - she hates Magic and similar card games. Wargames aren't her cup of tea but she likes to paint. She finds roleplaying fun so long as she doesn't need to juggle a ton of rules. She did well in D&D as a barbarian/paladin, Dungeon World as a rogue, and 7th Sea as a pirate.

So you'll have to make the call OP, but do it after talking with her and finding out why she wants to be there, or if she actually wants to show up at all.

I think the issue here is not the gender of the person or if it's a player or DM bringing a partner but that one person wants to bring their partner who it's clear isn't particularly interested and will therefore bring the rest of the group down.

>She finds roleplaying fun so long as she doesn't need to juggle a ton of rules
Wow, what a gamer! She sounds like quite the catch OP. Totally sounds like a productive party member that won't bog down the entire game because she forgot how to roll crits for the fifth time that session. I'm glad you've put those misogynistic, problematic wizards in their place with your anecdote!

gfdsensestingling.jpg

Does projecting help ease the sad little bitter pain inside you user

Get out of here you unvirgin!