Elven men, we have a problem. No one wants to be the first to say it...

>Pretty sure a female human would be aroused by elven men as much as how male humans are aroused by elven women.

You would think so, but no. It's quite illogical.

Human women are fat and disgusting.

But buddy, those aren't elves you just posted. Those are aliens!

The same things that make elf women attractive to human men make make elf men unattractive to human women.

>But buddy, those aren't elves you just posted. Those are aliens!
Eldar have the same problem

I'm pretty sure this whole "hurr durr human boiz takin' yo elf women" boy is just as mythical as the idea that black men are taking white women. By the end of the day women that haven't been blinded by PC propaganda don't enjoy being raped or being single mothers. They will also have a natural tendency, which can be observed across both genders and all racial groups, to stick with their own race. It simply has to do with in-group preference and internal trust that increases in homogenous societies.

Next time you see an elf woman with a human man, don't get mad. First of all she never owed you anything, second of all you'll get to enjoy seeing her be a battered single mother with a criminal-to-be mongrel child by her side. And then even the lowest of elf men won't give her a second glance.

>Le large human dick meme
You know elf landowners made up that myth to make humans look more bestial by comparison, right? Back then elf society wasn't degenerate and overly large genitals were seen as something of a mockery.

That savagery is exactly what the elf women are attracted to. It's their fault, not the human apes. Yet more and more of them all in with round ears every year. We all know who is responsible. I'm not going to name any names, but they love gold, mining, and fortresses, and virtually every engraving, mosaic, or monument was built by them.

The Jews? I knew it!

>Hurf durd da dwarfs are behind everything
Ever considered that the mistake may have been female suffrage? Only 600 years ago a man was the only one allowed to vote and considered the unquestionable head of the family, with the woman respecting his authority on the pain of being isolated from his finances (which he and he alone had control over) or in the worst case scenario physical disciplining in the same way a child would be disciplined (but they outlawed spanking your child 200 years ago, what the fuck?).

Women being degenerate is a symptom of our men being weak, and our civilization being weak. Women have no inherrent in-group preference, they will fuck with whoever they deem the winner of a grand conflict. Need I remind you how the Aasimar empire fell through mass migration of uncivilized mortals doing "the work they no longer wanted to do themselves"?

Not this time, Goreksson

...

Elf woman here (yes, in the infinity circuit). I don't agree with a lot of what you've said, but this

> is a symptom of our men being weak, and our civilization being weak.
Is completely true. My (human) husband is much stronger and more supportive than any elf man I was with.

Think about it. You never see a dwar maid with a human man, or human women with dwarf men. This is all a dwarven plot to breed out the elvish race.

>Khazad internet defense force bullshit
Get out of here Muradin

I wonder who could be behind these posts?

But that's fucking retarded. Why would the dwarves want orcs and humans to outbreed the elves in their own native lands? The only argument I hear in favor of this theory is "to create a mongrel race that's easier to control" but think about it: what other race in human history has ever been convinced by sheer guilt to organize and celebrate its own genocide? We ARE the most obedient race, we ARE the only culture that cannot speak ill of dwarves, and the dwarves would be stupid if they'd think humans and orcs make more obedient servants.

Let's also not forget that the Mythral Mountains -the only land the dwarves can truly call home- is surrounded by highly hostile human kingdoms. Why would the dwarves want to change the demographics of our elven republics so they become more human and thus more hostile to the Mythral Mountains? Hell, the massive increase of Dwarvophobia in Farangia highly correlated with a massive increase in its human population. And let's not forget that dwarves are disporportionately like to vote for the Elven Front, the only anti-dwarven party.

>the only anti-dwarven party
*the only anti-human party

t. le cunning miner

We need to close our borders if our race is to survive. Perhaps, building a wall between us and the human kingdoms would help.
And this is even besides the high crime rates in human-infested communities.

Seconded. We will build a vast wall to protect our women from the N'wah.

Who let a filthy ape post in this thread?

>there's no differences between the races
It's alchemy. Elven men simply do not produce the testosterone to compete with human men, no matter how hard they try. For the same reason you will never see an Orc philosopher, you will never see an alpha elf. The high serum estrogen and tendency towards neoteny that makes their women so stunning renders Elven men scrawny, weak, over emotional, and tend towards manboobs as they age.

More god tier knife ear pussy for us.

>elvish men are so low test, that they'd rather bitch about human Chads taking all the elvish pussy, instead of manning up themselves to become alphas

Lol

Stop being a whiny bitch, kid.

>vapid chem addled eyes
>strawberry jam on her forehead like a dunce

Dark Eldar thought it was funny to let her muscles atrophy, give her tit implants, and dress her in bikini armor before drugging her and putting her on display as a "fighter".

The Elven race died with Fingolfin.

but they like to fuck

>protect our women
Our women are the problem though. We don't need to "protect" them because once the humans decide to exterminate us, they will survive simply by spreading their whore legs. We need to defend ourselves. And we can defend ourselves by defending us from the human threat on the outside (building a wall) and from the female threat on the inside (remove women from political life, subjugate them to men once more by removing sexist pro-female legislation. With the elimination of these unnatural factors women will return to their naturally submissive role).

Nah, Feanor was the last real elf. The modern "elven" race was created from halfbreeds altered in a lab by a gnomish alchemist 2000 years ago.

>elf men can't even handle elf girl banter
No wonder they dump you beta bitches for mon'keigh cock

t-thanks uncle Vect, no no I'm totally happy with her, it's not like I was trying to fill up my Retinue slots with Sslyths and Medusae

See, this? Might be why you keep getting dumped.

Trust me, the shame she experiences is worth a few more casualties among the vat born. The best tortures are more than skin deep.

Perhaps, but elf women cannot be expected to reason for themselves. They will go for the exciting option rather than the logical one. They will reason based on emotion, voting for whatever politician will let those "poor, impoverished, hungry humans" into their lands, never even stopping to question WHY the humans are poor, impoverished and hungry despite living on top of and surrounded by valuable resources.

>those tits
What do you feed these elf sluts?

/thread

Elves naturally produce vastly more estrogen than humans.
Unfortunately, this holds true for men, too.

Although he was a teamkilling faggot, he was the best elf until my night elf dk buddy.
>"No, we don't want to change ourselves! It's all our women and humans' fault, that we are all whiny betas! So let's fight humans!"
Sure thing buddy, because there's not enough elven ruins scattered around the globe already.

Welp time to initiate more LCB posting then.

Have 52.6 and Taldeer as Nate and Nora from Fallout 4

This is ridiculous though. She's like 50% body fat, and it's all in her tits and hips. None of the elves in my neighborhood look like that. Of course mine are all dunmer so they could look like anything under those burqas.

Jesus, wtf are you doing?

>Be an Elf Warrior
>Be born 2000 years ago, when the age of heroes was at its peak
>Be inspired and learn from all the greats
>Go forth and give Evil the finger constantly
>adventure for centuries with the best of Elf, Human and Dwarf
>Then it happened
>We won. We kicked the shit out of Evil one last time, and it finally got the hint and fucked off
>have a century of cleaning up the myriad of mess it left behind
>But the greats started leaving. They had either died in the last battles, or grown too old or tied to carry on
>No new blood joined
>the last thousand years zip by
>humans and dwarfs still get it, since they're always vulnerable to dangers in some way
>Elves stagnate, having everything already
>no more great warriors to do battle and guard the halls, no more innovations of magic, we nick practically everything off humans and dwarfs, then take the credit
>mfw I can only relate to humans, dwarfs and the few Elf warriors who joined after I had, because they're the only ones left with balls
>mfw I'll see another 5 generations of my friends go by before I even begin kicking the bucket
>mfw some prancing little faggot tries to claim they're superior to my friends, and whines when more and more elf girls realise what I've been seeing for centuries
>mfw after I go, there will only be about 100 Elves left worthy of the name

What a crapload of bullshit. You will barely find anything about elfen men being effeminate in any setting.
>our women look like even more neotenous human women with larger breasts
No, they don't. You have this from porn. What you can find is that they are slender, but nowhere is it stated that they have larger breasts.
>hurr big human dick meme
The most stupid meme. There are even more settinsg with taller elves. Even their women are taller.
Furthermore every women would want to fuck a good looking, tall elf guy.

>normal eyes
>not taller than him
HEADCANON AND MEMES

NOTHING BUT HEADCANON AND MEMES

>Based elf coming through.

>facial hair
That looks like a filthy half-elven mongrel to me.

>be human boy in lame human village
>hear one day that elfen bards are visiting our tavern and will perform
>all the boys and men get excited
>we all have read those picture books from the far east
>our crotches are swollen by anticipation
>the day has come, but we are late, the tavern is already bursting with people
>wait a minute
>this is not the sound of human men grunting and masturbating under the table, but high-pitched screaming girl voices
>I never thought that elves would sing like this
>we enter
>wait another minute
>those are the girls of the village shrieking, completely out of control
>their heads follow every dance move of these unbelievable handsome elven guys
>their bodies shiver at every hip shake of these timeless elven bodies
>their minds faint everytime these charming elven smiles are directed at them
>local priests carry the exhausted girls out of the tavern
>they were prepared, they knew
>but they didn't prepare us
>"Guys, let's just leave" was all that I could say
>the party didn't stop until the next morning
>some never returned

Fight me u lil bitch

Stop posting mongrels in a purity thread please.

He's a pureblood though. Literally.

I see, this is one of those weekends where we get several elf bait threads done by the same person.

Is it truly bait when people go along with it to have a laugh?

He sure doesn't look that way.

That's Veeky Forums´'s doing, but the bait was OP's intension.

OP Here:

It's a joke and a thinly veiled excuse for elf cheesecake. Lighten up.

I thought it was a thinly veiled excuse for /pol/ posting.

It's a dumb meme that should die.

>be human boy
>seduce 400 year old gorgeous elf woman totally by accident, apparently my folksy human peasant ways are exotic to her or some shit I dunno
>she's fucking perfect, great personality, elegant, graceful, fantastically curvy, and with the most beautiful voice I've ever heard
>our first night together
>I'm terrified I'm going to cum the second she touches my dick but somehow I hold out
>she takes off her underthings
>what the fuck is this shit
>tiny hole you could barely fit a penny in
>I try to go in anyway, but it's just not working, can only get about halfway up the head
>it's awkward as fuck
>I'm hard
>she's sore
>no one is satisfied
>she says it's fine, we'll try again tomorrow
>my fucking face when

Help me bros. I thought the small dick thing was a meme but it turns out it's true, and elf chicks have small pussies too. I really like this girl and want it to work but I have no idea where to go from here if we can't have sex.

...

>curvy
>small dick
What setting? Nothing of this makes sense.

Actually I've seen a fair bit of both. The humans refer to the notion as "shortstacks."

>this buttblasted elf

I have an idea why don't we let the orcs take our women from the humans so we can rescue them and they'll appreciate our eleven masculinity

That too. It's all in good fun though.

>this shitty headcanon
Like this
>t elf
ever proves anything.

Those are just weirdo fetishists. They don't represent the mainstream.

Would take careful coordination to work out. I don't think anyone here wants damaged goods or for our women to be cooked and eaten.

We tried that, remember?

The humans got there first, and the orcs were too stupid to not give the game away.
Goddamnit I fucking hate orcs.

Underrated post

Elrond has never forgiven me for what happened to his wife

I feel you, he never lets it go, but it's hardly our fault, right?

"Grabthar", I said,
"Grabthar, this is VERY important. Take the Elven women, and leave via the quarry we've made a tunnel through so they take a bit longer to track you. Don't hurt the women, or we won't show you how to steal their sheep"

And What do they do? Trample through the long grass while doing Gods know what to the women, mistake the humans for us and surrender instantly, then say can pointy men give us our reward now?
It's only lucky that the humans thought they meant the drow, but the Women know full well that we made the drow up to cover for that time Ethar'el's company got drunk, put on a blackface and torched a few villages.
Now they hate us more than ever!

A magically disguised psychic should have accompanied the orcs to prevent such problems from happening. Forgetting to do such a crucial precaution is definitely your fault.

Better yet.

Take the orc women.

Eww.
How can anyone like these disgusting pigs?

>Elf sluts go after human savages
>Human sluts go after orc savages
>That leaves tall, strong and powerful orc women to lust after and tenderly dominate the shorter, frailer and more bookish elves
>Softcore femdom becomes the new vanilla

>Take the orc women
has it right, it won't be the elves doing the taking in this situation
Also I approve of 's arrangement

Why don't you elf men just become our wives?

I'm having serious difficulty telling whether this is supposed to be a lewd thread, a /pol/ satire thread, or a sincere /pol/ by allegory thread. Probably at least 2.

muh dick

> this is what elves actually believe

>our women look like even more neotenous human women with larger breasts
Don't base your idea on elves on porn, it makes you look like you never played traditional games.

The first two was the intention.

It's almost like popular runes put forth an unrealistic standard of beauty, to encourage porn addiction and lower birth rates. I wonder who would do such a thing...

I think the first two was the intention

Moar?

Skyrim sure has changed.

If you find the ones that like to fuck, it's because they've been fucked by battalions already. The ones that you won't be the sloppy 130-seconds for demand you care about their feelings and won't put out until you emasculate yourself on their behalf. Human skanks are not worth it, at all.

For the better

>this story stolen from a literal anime

Might as well have just gone and fucked a dragon, bro.

And elf sluts are better? Kek. Don't even have beards.

There's an anime like that? I should have known.

Best solution.

I don't get the problem, some elven women so happen to like, be attracted to and are simply into human males, so what?

Why not male elves courting and having relationships with human women? Simple as that!

Seriously, what's wrong about an elf guy being in a relationship with a human female like this one? Uhm, not all human females are like that? Duh!