Hello again, Veeky Forums. Back again with another installment of PermaDM Gets To Be Player storytime.
For newcomers, in this series I chronicle my first D&D game I've experienced as a PLAYER in quite some time, courtesy of our new DM stepping up to the plate to write his first campaign. Our characters include:
Caleb Keane: Masquerading as a southern bapist-style preacher of Pelor, is in fact a Warlock making an Oath with a cthonic vengeance god. Shacius Ebvir: A fantasy-arabic tiefling warrior who hasn't been present for the last 3 sessions. Miles Boswell: A flamboyantly gay but incredibly accomplished thief, freshly arrested and being taken to justice by... Sir Peter Peterson: Mute, psychotic, unstoppable Paladin of Pelor. Think the offspring of Solaire and the Terminator. Deus Vult incarnate.
Now, when we had left off, our currently present party had been getting completely fucked up on Sandworm Brandy with the town's Innkeeper, Ben La'Trell. It is now the next morning.
>Keane regains consciousness, being aware of this due to the fact he feels like he just had his head stomped on by a Cave Troll. >As he forces his eyes open, he realizes several things. >He's sleeping on the bar. >All of the tables in the tavern are mutilated horribly. >Peterson is hanging, upside down, his feet caught in the wrought iron chandelier. Eight feet off the ground. >Miles is nowhere to be seen. >It's Noon. >His coat has new pages sewn onto it. >It appears Peterson has written one or more of them. One of them says "Pelor is dope". >La'Trell is happily sweeping up splintered wood and broken glass. >"By Pelor's light...La'Trell...what in the nine hells happened last night?" >"A heluva night my friend. You tree know how to make dis ol' man feel young again!" >Keane scrapes himself up off the bar and walks over to the Peterson-Chandelier >"Fella, ya probly' oughta get on down from there. Yer little friend seems to have flown the coop." >Peterson fiddles with his feet, trying to get untangled from the chandelier, drops eight feet and lands flat on his back and leaves a crusader-shaped crater in the hardwood floor. >He is immediately in pursuit of Miles, clangclangclangclanging as he stomps off to find the thief
Austin Bell
>Miles awakens in his room, still a little tipsy, in a pile of random assorted crap that isn't his >Well it is now >Meaningless things from around town he very well may have just drunkenly stolen to steal >"I still got it." >He looks out the window and finds Peterson lifting up carts in search of him >He recalls attempting to teach Peterson to backflip the night prior, and the getting stuck that ensued.
MEANWHILE
>Keane is taking a hooker-shower in the back of the inn with the pump, being careful of leeches >He realizes that he needs to get himself over to Cloaksdale to meet with Bosch before it's too late >But first he needs to see Lucas again >He goes and rounds up Miles, grabbing him and bringing him to Peterson so he wouldn't upend the entire damn town >Keane is wincing in the bright sun of the Greenburrow Valley, his head still pounding >He gets to Lucas's wizard hut, the other two in tow >*rap...rap...rap* >Lucas swearing and muttering as he sees who it is. He's not suprised to see the hungover warlock and his motley crew of companions, but he's irritated at their constant intrusion on his life. He just wants to do death magic in peace, dammit >"Oh. It's you. What is it." >"Cloaksdale...alkaline tablets...anything." >"Fiiiiine." >The door slams in Keanes face, the party hears bottles rattling and tools clicking, and Lucas returns holding a large iron-and-blue-glass lens, and a small hide pouch >"This is for the journey, this is for your heads. Leave me the fuck alone." >SLAM >Click-click-clack-shunk-clack as the deadbolts and other locks seal in place
Evan Howard
>The journey isn't terribly long or eventful. Keane's got a full lip packed of the hangover herbs Lucas gave him, and Miles is trying to figure out how to dip >Peterson just smites the hangover away in a brief flash of light >The party is walking through the woods, Miles whistling and Keane/Peterson having a one-sided conversation about Pelor's virtues >Keane's been attempting to get into the deranged Paladin's good graces, in an attempt to catch him off guard once he inevitably figures him out and he has to bolt/put the Solar Champion down >Miles suddenly notices some deep, deep singing. Almost croaking >Dipping off the path, and interrupting Keane as Peterson clangs off after him, Miles comes across a clearing in the swamp... >And sitting on a stump, plucking at a banjo and singing in a deep, deep bass, is a massive Bullywug with an even bigger pack >He's wearing shabby but well-maintained trousers and a shirt, as well as a very small top hat atop his amphibian head >"Ahhh, well howdy do friends. Lovely day, ain't it?" >Nobody here had seen Bullywugs as anything but savage, froggy simpletons that hop through the swamps, REEEEEing all the while >Well as it turns out there are two types of Bullywug in this setting. Very, very smart, and very, very dumb >The banjo-plucking frog introduces himself as Long-Toes Johnson, traveling minstrel and merchant >This was a really, really fun NPC. Truly a friend and boy
Christian Nelson
>He unfurled his pack, allowing an entire shack to unfurl from the backpack like a pop-up book, which said "Long-Toes Johnson's Deal Shanty" >The shack was far larger on the inside, resembling a staggeringly charming and clean little shop filled with a wide variety of goods >Keane bought a charm of lightning resistance because it was a creepy little voodoo gris-gris and I liked it >Peterson grabbed an amulet that gave him an extra smite >Miles got a tiny collapsible crossbow >Keane ascertained by the level of magic going on in here that this Bullywug was classically trained at a magical university >When prompted, Johnson replied "Arcadia is a progressive place, Preacher." >Keane winds up making a Contract with the magic frog, getting a deal on the charm if they take care of the bothersome green dragon that's been inciting the lizardmen >It was already on the agenda
David Edwards
>After a brief shopping spree and a bluesy, pleasant tune, the party bid adieu to the frogman, as his store condensed back into his pack and he hopped off >And they set back off for Cloaksdale. Along the way, they had been using the lens Lucas had gave them to detect Lizardmen through the trees and evade them >They were getting very close, when suddenly, Keane stopped the party >There was a light hum in the air as Keane pulled the lens up to his eye >A shimmering barrier was erected in front of them. Like an aurora in deep purple >Behind it, souls wailed and screamed as they pounded on the barrier to get out >Keane has seen worse. Peterson doesn't feel fear, just rage >But Miles robs people. He doesn't know about monsters, or magic, or any of that. So he's terrified right now >"I think we're here." >We puzzled on how to get through the barrier, poking it with sticks and throwing stones through it. It seems that anything that passed through withered and was torn apart >Ultimately, Peterson shoved Keane out of the way and SMITED a crack in the barrier, blowing a hole clean in it with his Halberd. Souls and purple mist blasted through moaning and screaming like headcrab zombies, visible even to Peterson and a now-utterly petrified Miles without the lens >We then decided we'd draw straws to see who went first >"MILES! Get down here!" >Miles had climbed a tree and was refusing to get down >He descended on his whip like spiderman, hanging upside down >"No." >He then ascended back up into the canopy through means unknown
Ayden Kelly
>Keane lost the RPS that ensued and managed to convince the paladin that scissors beats rock when they're empowered by Pelor's light >So Peterson stepped through the hole he made first, and, nothing happened. Keane trailed behind him, while Miles was dragged by the feet behind Peterson, clawing to get the hell away and swearing >Everything was very dark and very purple in this area of the forest. As they stepped through, they soon reached the town of Cloaksdale...or what was left of it >The town was a husk, dotted with decomposing corpses and spattered with blood >In the center, a deep blood red light radiated out, painting the ruin of a village with shadows and making the entire place seem even more drenched in viscera >Keane called out in a slightly hesitant tone, "BOSCH!"
Dominic Jenkins
Nice dubs
Also pretty good story but seriously dude tone down the textwall
Nolan Wood
>BOOM >BOOM >BOOM >The party hears the sound of staggeringly heavy footsteps as the light approaches them. Keane turns past the others and is running like hell >Miles, already noided to the max, was almost to the barrier by the first BOOM >Peterson is CLANGCLANGCLANGing as the BOOMs get heavier and closer >The party dives through the hole in the barrier just in time as they hear a crash behind them > Miles is still going, he's running as fast as he can through the trees, repeating aloud to himself "I'm too gay to die, I'm too gay to die, I'm too gay to die" >Peterson is charging through the trees, as in literally through the trunks of the trees, leaving mansized holes >Keane is like 43, he's catching his breath in front of the barrier once he's outside of the town's border as he hears a CRASH behind him >He finally gets a good look at the thing chasing him >A massive set of black armor, dozens of feet tall. The insides glow with a sickly, pulsating red. Blood drips from every crack and gorge in the enormous plate mail, looking as if there was no man inside the hollow, glowing shell...only writhing gore
"KEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAANNNNE."
"I SEEEEEE YOOOOOOU, BOOOOOOOOY"
>"THE OATHMAKER'S SON HAS FAAAAALLLLLEN."
>"YOOOOOOU SHALLLLL FOLLLLLOW HIMMMMM"
>The armor pounded on the barrier, over, and over and over as Keane backed away from the trapped monstrosity.
Benjamin Ward
Meanwhile...
>Peterson has now caught up to Miles and grabbed him >he just picked him up by the back of the head and his legs are still going >They realize they don't actually know where they are >And they are surrounded by spiderwebs... >And giant spiders. >Roll for initiative. >Continuing what is rapidly being established to be a trend, Peterson gets a retarded series of crits this fight >Two directly in a row, in fact. In the first, he basically does melee Ganon's Up-Tilt to a spider, squashing the creature in a burst of holy light >Pic related >EEEEEEASY MONAY >He then decides to melee Ganon down-air another one, stomping through the creature and embedding himself up to the waist in the swampy ground >miles meanwhile is getting himself digested from the inside out..but his shekel senses are tingling and he's no goyim >the two of them battle off the small colony of dog-sized spiders and find the source of the thief's hunch >the corpse of a bullywug, long turned to bone, embedded in the webbing >carrying a bunch of gold pieces, nice
Aaron Williams
>Keane has made it back to Cloaksdale, a little haggard and worried, but otherwise unharmed >but this is serious and urgent and he needs to speak with the only one who might know what's going on >he sets off for Lucas's and smacks urgently on the door >"Didn't I tell you to go the fuck awa-" >"Shut yer mouth, egghead. This has gotten bigger than either of us." >"...Go on." >"I don't like ya all that much, Lucas. You hate the ground I walk on. But I went on down to Cloaksdale today and I saw something even I don't comprehend. We need to compare notes." >Lucas has gone from pissed to curious. He may not like Keane, but he respects the Disciple of Tzelzeveld. >"Come in. What's happening in Cloaksdale?" >"I got there, it was a damnable charnel house. We had to break through a barrier that had a number of souls trapped within in...less than peaceful rest." >Lucas's patron is The Raven Queen, and even though he's kind of a sleazy little weasel, he is not a big fan of the natural order of death being tampered with >Keane describes the massive creature and Lucas's eyes widen dramatically >"What. Color. Was. It?" >"Black as a devil's soul, red as a sinner's blood." >Lucas mutters under his breath "the deadline just moved up." >"If you're going to kill that dragon, you need to do it now. You need to do it YESTERDAY." >"You seen the desertman around? Could use another sword." >"He'll be back in town by tonight. If you wait to get him, you need to be gone the second he's here." >"And the dragon. Does he know about any of this, or is he just another ignant' lizard stakin' his claim?" >"Just an arrogant young buck. He needs to go so I can work on this though. Listen and listen good, if we get out of this, you meet me in one month. The Raven's Nest. It's a dive in the worst parts of Arcadia. Midnight." >"I can do that. I'll be seein' you around, Lucas." >"You too, Preacher. Watch your back."
END OF SESSION 4
Julian Collins
As usual, feedback? Comments? Questions?
Josiah Lewis
Im enjoying this very much. keep it up OP.
Parker Young
We don't care.
You should know this by now.
Dylan Mitchell
Thanks user.
rudeposter pls go
Jeremiah Nelson
We don't have to live up to our names. We can choose our own destiny.
You, however, cannot.
Nolan Kelly
I don't get it
Charles Bailey
And so, the thread died, with only one person to read it.
OP, do something else. People will care about something else.
Chase Thomas
Fuck off nigger it's OC miles better than any shitposted elf rape what do thread
Jackson Thomas
You have an interesting opinion.
It is wrong.
Connor Martinez
I can assure you, it most definetely is not. At least not for someone with a maturity above the average 14 year old edgelord.
Lincoln White
Your mannerisms are doing your cause no justice.
It is obvious you are a samefag, despite resetting your router or however else you sperged.
Jace Garcia
Don't feed it, it might not leave.
Besides, it's not like I'm going to stop making campaign notes because some whiny dick told me not to. The other players and the DM like it when I make these, because they're a good reference.
My DM actually revealed to me he improvised most of that session, and shared with me his sum total of notes.
Jordan Moore
And we enjoy reading them.
Also, congrats to Betus for gaining level 2 in GMing.
Bentley Lee
Wow, I didn't actually read your thread, but now I've seen this I KNOW I'll never read it.
Nathan Bell
Offended by jew jokes. Surprise, suprise.
Tyler Jenkins
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Liam Baker
I know, right? I was impressed too. He's been kind of a noteboi up until this point and it was definitely interesting to watch him kind of work out how the plot was going to roll in real time.
