/STG/ Star Trek General

>Paramount/Universal/Whoever rings you up.
>They want you to outline for them a reboot of Star Trek: Voyager.
Nope.

...

Janeway: Sigourney Weaver
Paris: Michelle Rodriguez (if they'll let me pull an R63) or Joel David Moore.
The Doctor: Robert Picardo. Yes, I know he did it last time. I picked him because he was the best in that clusterfuck. If I can't get him, the deal's off.

Ship gets stranded as before.

Janeway is chief of security rather than captain so she can be mama-bear character without swinging into paranoid warlord territory ever other breath. She does everything by the book, no exceptions, no compromise.

Captain is her old mentor whom she greatly respects. Lets call him Captain Ahab because I'm an unimaginative turd.

Chakotay becomes first officer but this time rather than have him be a cardboard Injun stereotype actually have he be from an named native American tribe. Consult at least one member of that tribe to make sure that you aren't fucking up the character too badly. Don't play panpipe music every time it's his scene.

Tuvok is Captains Ahab's BFF rather than Janeways.

Kes is another Talaxian. There are no Ocampa. Fucking stupid idea.

Neelix has seen some shit. The cheerful facade is what he puts on to stop the rest of the crew expecting to find him hanging from the rafters. He's a deserter. He did 15 years of the nuclear war all day every day with Somme at weekends. Every night he gets to relive the moment when he found his family home after he ran away from the front lines and saw what chard remains that were of his parents and siblings. Kes is his wife. They jointly own their crap little ship and salvage business. Kes does the negotiating, Neelix is the salvage king.

Be'lana is full Klingon and highly traditionalist member of her culture. That culture being of one of the sparsely populated southern continent of Q'onoS. Mostly arable farmers. Never recognized the sovereignty of Kahless. Hold true to old pagan gods. Might make you think of Klingon Amish.

Tom Paris is more of a scamp, has a usual cell in the brig and never gets promoted because he isn't an officer. He was only on the ship because it's part of his community service. Also has a still in his quarters that security keep a blind eye to because he shares his moonshine freely. Also runs semi-legal gambling games.

>Neelix is a ravaged, destroyed person
>Tom is basically Quark
I approve.

>has a usual cell in the brig and never gets promoted because he isn't an officer
this is the way it always should have been. he can fuck off with commander burrito

I hang up.

Why would Klingon Amish become a starship engineer?

Harry Kim isn't an officer and has no interest in becoming one. He wanted to be a starship designer but nobody will take him seriously until he's done a few year living on one. Suffers from bout's of chronic depression.

Tuvok is 2nd in command of the security. Gets promoted to chief of security when Janeway becomes captain.

7 of 9 never really learns how to become human. Too long in the Collective. Has to keep working to block out the terrible loneliness and the quiet whilst at the same time is terrified of the Borg and considers rejoining the Collective not unakin to death.

Doctor would be a blank mannequin when not activated. When activated projectors in the body make the illusion of a person. Can't leave the ship because his brain is in the wall of sickbay and the transmission range for that density of data is not great. Can go anywhere he wants on the ship so long as it's not next to any strong magnets.

First season would primarily be trying to rebuild the semi-derelict Voyager whilst fending off Kazon and trying to negotiate for spare parts. Neelix lets them take his entire inventory, his ship and his services so long as they let him and Kes come with them. He hates his home space. Most of the shit in his shop is worthless but they accept the deal because he is very good cook.

Rest of the Talaxians find out about them and their kickass ship fighting off Kazon capital ships despite the maiming the Caretaker gave it. Talaxians have no home planet. They have a few old military bases and The Fleet in Exile trying to defend the old civilian outposts against constant Kazon raids and the gradual march of other Empires moving in and forcing them out or outright genociding them. They are dying. In 200 years they believe they will be all but extinct. Captain of Voyager tells them that the Federation would probably give them settlement rights on an uncolonized world if they world if they could make it there.

I really need to see pogo do just a data video. He nailed it.

Interesting. So Doctor would no longer be a full on hologram? Just basically a disembodied android? Won't that make him retread even more ground in his arc that Data did then before?

His incorporeal nature and being stuck in sickbay for the better part of the series were kind of defining aspects of his character. A feeling of powerlessness, but at the same time a sense of invincibility when compared to the organics.

I certainly think it could be done well though. On the condition that his un-projected mannequin form rests deeply in the uncanny valley. Maybe have his projectors stop working once or twice. Nothing actually wrong with him just has to go about business looking like that for a bit.

Lawless is Janeway, Reynolds is Paris and Ayoade as the Doctor.

Not sure what I'll do exactly but it will be in the NuTrek timeline because I don't see the point in rehashing in prime. I'd be sure to have someone else have editorial veto though for scripts/plans. The production meetings should be interesting.

Also, retcon NuTrek Catians back into Prime Catians maybe add more hair like M'ress.

Alright then, Amish inspired in that her society has strict gender roles, is highly traditional to the point of stagnation, dresses very modestly and is devoutly religious.

Next thing they know the entire Fleet in Exile is parked around Voyager, they've got a shit load of cargo haulers rebuilt into traveling stasis galleries and they've packed 95%+ of the entire Talaxian population into the ships.

Fuck it all they say. Fuck it all we are coming with you. There's noting left for them here.

Voyager sets off at the head of a fleet. Travel is slow becasue of crap primitive ships following them.

All the while there is constant brewing trouble with Captain Ahab ,who is going nuts because he can't cope, and his loyalists and Chakotay and his motley crew. Captain Ahab does a lot of fucked up things but it all comes to a boil when he cold blooded murders Tuvix to get Tuvok and Neelix back.

Running fire fights across all decks, Be'Lana refuses to pick a side and just one punch K.O.s anybody that gets shooty in the engine room. Seriously, that is a barely contained matter/anti-matter explosion in a bottle. It doesn't care who gets the big chair. It will kill everybody regardless of allegiance. Get the fuck out of her Reactor Pit.

Crew fighting with phasers on stun because nobody is quite sure what the minimum number of people it is that can run this ship indefinitely given how new it is. Also they have gotten to know one another a little and although they aren't friends yet they don't particularly want to kill them.

Doctor treating all sides because he is a healer and he chooses no side. Also he's programmed to heal everybody but he claims he would have chosen to even if he wasn't programed.

Eventually its a stand off on the bridge. Evenly numbered on both sides, everybody pointing weapons at every body.

Same reason any Klingon would. To get to space to kill things. She was in the Maquis to kill Cardassians. Now she's stuck on Voyager and they don't kill as much, but if she doesn't keep that engine running she'll never get to kill again.

So...Trek-themed BSG, then?
I also love the whole "mutiny, BUT" shit that's bolted on, particularly about B'Elanna and the Doc

His projection flickers. He was experimental technology when they set off and shit was never finished properly. Also he has no belief that he is a person. Data did.

Some of the crew believe he is but he would inform them that they are wrong.

Also being new and largely untested technology that was never even designed to run for extended time it becomes apparent that he is going senile quite earlier on than before but instead of it being an over and done with in one episode thing it would be a creeping doom that gradually strips him of his personality and kills him by inches. Like Alzheimer's disease.

It's not until the end of season 2 that they try and patch him back together by cut and pasting the EMH Diagnostic Tool Hologram's program into him. Then the question becomes not is he self aware or just reacting in complex ways but; is he a self aware program or two programs that are merely aware of each other and extrapolate new ways of reacting to outside stimulus in increasingly complex ways? And is there a difference between that and, for example, Tom Paris?

Next episodes starts with Tuvok sitting in the brig alone. Then Chakotay comes in and stands there for a moment before asking "why?"

Then the flash back starts of the battle form Tuvok's PoV.

It ends with him standing behind Cpt. Ahab and sees Cpt. Ahab's phasor is set to kill. Tuvok fzzzzzzts him in the back of the head, even on stun a shot there at that range is fatal and given his training there is no way he did not know that. "It was the only logical option left".

>And is there a difference between that and, for example, Tom Paris?
>Holding Tom as the standard of humanity to compare artificial beings against.
Think Doc has a chance.

>Lawless is Janeway
Nice cast.

>troll thread set up by our "friends" in the Star Wars thread
>people sincerely discussing Voyager
Truly this is the darkest timeline. Someone make a proper /STG/ please.

Janeway become Captain Janeway because she was the highest ranking officer left of the Starfleets and also the SF loyalists have majority of technical experts. Also she was the one who ordered her security teams to set weapons to stun. Also Chakotay knows full well that his crew still respect his judgement and if he accepts her as Captain they will follow suit and they might all make it home if they act sensible.

Janeway's over-arching plot is that she gradually learns that it's okay to bend the rules sometimes. Chakotay's gradually learns how to put on the Starfleet uniform again and that the Federation is not evil incarnate.

Tuvok is given job of Chief of Security chief on the premise that he is utterly impartial given that he just killed his BFF on the grounds of logic, reason and law. Also if worst comes worst and someone shanks him they just pic option 2 later anyway. To an extent he also learns to compromise and gradually learns how to be a tolerant person in a society where shit doesn't always go by the rules.

Is never resolved if the Doctor is sapient or not. In the end the crew reason that if he isn't he's doing such a good imitation that it probably makes no difference.

7 of 9 never acclimatizes. When they eventually find the Borg children in the broken cube they form a miniature collective of their own. It's not a perfect solution but madness for her and the children would have come eventually alone. In any case it's not full psychological assimilation. They can hear each others thoughts but have not direct influence over each other.

Kim suddenly gets over his depression with no explanation turns out he asked 7 of 9 to assimilate him into her collective. She did. Janeway went ballistic when she found out.

Be'lanna eventually fulfills her dream and goes back to Q'onoS and starts a family of her ownwith that Vulcan engineer. Her time among the stars only made her want more the life she had left behind.

Alright, definitely a bit more refined than the last shot you did at this. Nelix in this is definitely a better character, Kes has more potential for being useful outside of doctor's assistant, the addition of a trailing fleet is interesting, I have a feeling that it will absolutely need to be rapidly downsized though, not necessarily violently.
Give Starship Designer Kim something to work with in some sort of salvage and construction operation (on a time limit) to get them few larger, better ships instead, or rig up some sort of cluster-vessel.

And because there's opportunity for actually doing interesting stuff once they get back home, would be worth planning for that to happen in fewer than seven seasons. Or do time-skips every now and again to just skip stuff like a couple years of uneventful travel here and there.

>TFW it feels like a Q was drunk moment and then a sober Q said 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING Q' and then nobody was war criminals.
Because it never happened
>but Q.
>BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED, DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF!

Paris never becomes a model citizen. Fuck that. Opens a casino on Earth Space Dock. Booze, women, fame/notoriety and fortune.

Neelix and Kes and most of the Talaxians make it to federation space and the Federation does indeed give them settlement right on a world they had earmarked for colonization. A little close to the Klingon border for most citizens liking but the Klingons and the Talaxians had a lot of common ground and they got along really well.

Neelix wasn't being paranoid. The Talaxian military was after him. He ha let his sash with all his accolade marks behind when he ran away. He did 15 years of hell, probably more than any other Talaxian had ever endured before he broke. They never blamed him for running. It took nearly 4 years into the voyage for them to put all his lies together and figure out who he was. As a decorated war hero with extensive dealings with the humans and vulcans he is made the representative of their people.

Janeway and Tuvok eventually do become great friends. They stay on Voyager to presumably have badass adventures. 7, Kim and the little collective also remain if only because they have nowhere else to go. Also they want to touch that horizon again.

Doctor stays aboard because he has no reason to leave. Curiosity does not drive him.

Chakotay leaves without ceremony or permission. His movements afterwards were pieced together and it's most probable he went back to his world and was never heard from again by the Federation.

It would be a good idea to have them skip the dull months. Perhaps have a distance from earth counter in corner at the start of each episode or some shit to give an indication that they are making progress in terms of distance off screen.

Also maybe a whole bunch of the Talaxians decided to settle on a nice empty world in the middle of nowhere that they encountered along the way.

No violence or anything just waking the civilians up so they can calmly divide into two camps, those staying and those carrying on.

Also Voyager over the course of the journey would get more and more beat up. Patched together from different metals, and traded components it would not be the same ship that gets back to Earth.

>Perhaps have a distance from earth counter in corner at the start of each episode or some shit to give an indication that they are making progress in terms of distance off screen.
A whiteboard in Janeway's office with the time left until they reach Earth written on it? When they find a wormhole they reduce the time in a celebratory manner, when a goodwill mission sets them back they forlornly increase the count...

Did you mean: naval officers shouting at each other about convoluted lore (in SPEHSS)?

Like Battlestar Galactica?

Fuck no. Holy fucking shit no.

Thank's user I had almost drunk the memory of that shit remake into oblivion. Holy fucking shit it was awful.

The less form that anyone takes away other than a cautionary tale and a "how not to do it" guide the better.

Thanks for reminding me of that you twat.

I'm going to drink the Potion of Forgetfulness now.

It's not that convoluted if you have a passing familiarity with the ancient Greek texts.

>hating on the BSG remake
>drinking blended whisky
You have some shit taste in television there friend... But I suppose one is as one consumes.

I drink that foul swill to forget shit, sure as fuck not for the taste.

Are you telling me you watched BSG past season 2 and though it was good?

Contrary to >filename implications, it wasn't the Gods of Kobol and related shit that confused me - it was constant plot-weaving and selfreferencing that they built the entire plot arc on in later seasons. The final five, the hybrid, the cylon rebellion, jimi fucking hendrix - I had to pore over the wiki and rewatch a whole batch of episodes to even start to make sense of it.

Hey, just saying that this is what you're rapidly turning your VOY Reboot into. Not that it couldn't do with some internal conflict a la Galactica. Just not to the point that the show becomes "People Yelling At Each Other, And Occasionally The Original Bad Guys Show Up And Be A Threat When We Run Out Of Ideas" [See: TWD]

>all the Scotch to choose from
>all the blends even
>Famous Grouse

I hadn't realized it was starting to sound like that.

If anything I was worried it might start to turn into Firefly on a larger scale.

I have no valid picture for this now, only sadness. Have a retro sci-fi pic.

why do something well when you can make it shabby as all hell?

For when you're too classy to spend your $8 on vodka

Not a bad start user but I think it needs a bit more The Stig to be honest.

We're eagerly anticipating it, user.
First adventures of Lt. Dave "Space Suit" Innatubes have been prepared and preserved in the traditional format, with a twist of Pumpkin Spice because it's halloween time.

It's beautiful.

Ayyyy I made it into the cap

>Also has a still in his quarters that security keep a blind eye to because he shares his moonshine freely.
>Also runs semi-legal gambling games.

So....pic related then

We did what we had to user - what we always do.
We take fail and turn it into a fighting chance of win.

Space suit Dave needs a girl, someone as fucked up as him that keeps him from slipping too far in either direction.

Maybe Shuttlepod Anne, an LT in command of the minor backup shuttlebay that has taken residence up in the never used shuttle docked there because it's safer than her room, and if the ship loses power, her shuttle is powered independently and she's still safe. They can have nice talks, with dave just inside the shuttle bay's jeffries tube exit and Anne sitting in the entrance of her shuttle, passing things between them with a long stick with a net on the end.

Heh, okay, I'll give you another, then I'll get back to writing awkward, breathtaking, nervous superhuman sistercest exploration.

>> Engineering to Lt. Innatubes; Dave, have you been lairing near the Turbolift Maintenance Hub recently?
>> Innatubes to Engineering: No, I'm camping out at least two hundred meters away from the Lift Hub. Why?
>> Three members of the turbolift maintenance detail haven't reported in since the end of their shifts and the computer can't find them. We thought maybe they tripped your outer perimeter and were sleeping off the anesthazine.
>> I'll check it out. God knows if you call security, then I'll just have to rescue three engineers and an entire squad of redshirts. If they're fucking off playing D&D down the tubes and chucked their commbadges so nobody could find them, I'm returning them in their skivvies.
>> Fair enough, Dave. Engineering out.

> Derp your way towards the Transporter Maintenance Depot.
> Open a hatch, look through.
> Everything is wet black chiton as far as the eye can see.
> NOPE! Nope, nope, fucking NOPE.
>> I've played the Xenomorph: Isolation holonovel, I know how this shit works.
> Huck a prepared electroplasma grenade on a motion sensor down that hatch, shut + weld the hatch shut.

> Derp ass as fast as possible to the nearest transporter room.
> Drop down behind the transporter chief.
>> Son, shit's getting real and I need the transporter to fix it.
>> Just go sit in the corner and I'll stun you, they won't be able to say you derilected your duty by surrendering the transporter to the paranoid nut in the tubes.
> Transporter chief thinks about it for a moment, walks over to the corner, sits down, is duly stunned.
> cont.

How about someone in the Medical staff that sort of looks after him? Like a doctor or nurse that he come to whenever he needs something dealt with. She's basically the only person he holds full conversations with so the captain encourages it to make sure Dave doesn't full-on crazy and turn on the crew.

Or the nice lady in the science labs.

The only one left from when he joined the crew. The only person left who knows what he looks like.

the only mortal to have seen inside the fortress that is his home. When he makes his music he makes it for her

>awkward, breathtaking, nervous superhuman sistercest exploration
I need this almost as much as I need Innatubes. You are forgiven, user, so long as we get to see the finished product there too.

>> Computer: Catalogue all internal motion sensor contacts aboard the ship. Remove any contacts wearing a Commbadge. Remove any contacts whose life signs correspond strongly to known civilian passengers and family members.
> No contacts big as or bigger than a human. Good, there's still time to contain this outbreak.

> Transporter controls online: Targeting: Motion Sensors. Target scope: All contacts in current sensor sweep. Begin locking contacts.
> Transporter locks complete.
> Transporter safeties override.
> Transporter NETWORK override: Lock in all transporter rooms, all emergency transporters, all shuttlecraft and runabout transporters, all cargo transporters.
> Beam all presently-locked contacts into space, not bothering to materialize them coherently.

>> Well, that was scary. It's not over yet.
> Go back Innatubes, back to home base.
>> Bridge to Innatubes: what the HELL did you just do, Lieutenant? Why was my cat just beamed into space?!
>>> You forgot about the pets?
>>> No. No you didn't. Fuck Commander Fluffles. Lt. Commander Fishy McFishFace deserved that promotion.

>> Xenomorphs, sir. No telling what the facerapers have infested. That transporter stunt will have cleared out any mobile facerapers and xenomorphs. I'm going to deal with the nest now.
> No point in telling them earlier.
> They would have just sent redshirts into the tubes and gotten them infested.
> You wear a spacesuit. Turns out, it's not some fragile piece of 21st-century crap, your helmet CAN resist a faceraper.
> Tool up with electroplasma flamethrower, compression phaser pistol, regular phaser and all the electroplasma grenades you can carry.
> Time for a clean-up job.

> Honestly, you've gotta do everything around here.

I see what you spoiled there - i'll bite
youtube.com/watch?v=n5dhyiqhR7Y

I like all of these. Especially Ensign Hips, she's fucking saved.
So, why not all of these?

Maybe this spacewhale is rapidly becoming Starfleet's clearinghouse for neurotic and otherwise socially atypical crew, who get piled together because they Get Shit Done. Hi, Lt. Commander Chief Engineer Reginald Barclay!
Make it Space Station 13 in starship form.

Well, if you want, here's the link to Chapter 1: docs.google.com/document/d/1eDvmeO3zMLkQ5_kqYfch5FEClCTcqCTjd0frVbRHh2E/edit
Chapters 1 and 2 are finished, 3 is WIP, but accessible. All chapters may be commented upon by all and sundry.

I wasn't even aiming for that.

I just wanted Space Suit Dave to have one thing in his life that he trusted and knew wasn't going to turn on him.

Also he plays the accordion, possibly one of the least romantic instruments.
youtube.com/watch?v=TrieZ0Wd1N8

>Maybe this spacewhale is rapidly becoming Starfleet's clearinghouse for neurotic and otherwise socially atypical crew, who get piled together because they Get Shit Done. Hi, Lt. Commander Chief Engineer Reginald Barclay!

OH FUCKING HELL YES!

Non-artist here, throwing my doodle in the pot

>diy crossbow and bastard sword
>disruptor blast burnt off his helmet's identification tag, he's just referred to as "Dave"

Any Dave is good Dave

Agreed. What kind of suit should he have? I think that a semi-rigid tight suit would make sense, but the helmet should be treated as a Noh mask deal, where it can express a whole range of emotions just with body language and head tilts. Master Chief's motocross helmet is a good example, considering that Chief in Halo and Caboose in RvB look identical, but a neutrally-disposed physique allows the body to believably lighthearted and cartoonish, as well as merciless and badass.

This is about the limit of my abilities.

...

I figure the point is that he's basically impossible to read. Like the stig.

what happens to garak after Empok Nor?

How do you mean? I think other than Nog no longer trusting him and O'Brien thinking he's a nutbag, not much.

>Veeky Forums
>not turning crap and/or trolling into gold
How new are you?

does he just go unpunished for murdering that engineer? i understand he was under the effects of psychoactive drugs but still

Yeah, I think "turned into a psychotic killing machine by ambient drugs" is actually a fairly common defence when it comes to disciplinary hearings within the Federation.

I imagine Garak's not happy about what happened.
I mean, him, a trained, professional killer, a member of the Obsidian Order, reduced to a raving megalomaniacal killcrazy psychopath by fucking drugs.

Mulgrew and Ryan switch roles. S6-7 McNeil is Tom, everyone else is the same actor.
Janeway is a relatively young, ambitious sci officer that got nepotism'd into the captain's chair when her old captain became an admiral (basically all his old command staff got ships way earlier than they probably should have). She's inexperienced in having such a large command, but wants it bad (no one joins Starfleet to not become a captain, after all) and has been studying all command manuals and advice books possible. It's actually kinda fortunate for her that half her crew dies on the first mission, since that makes things much more manageable.
Seven joins the crew a lot earlier (first five eps for sure). She was one of the colonists that got scoop'd at J-25, and has been in the collective for the better part of a decade. While Picard was only part of the collective for a few days, and thus able to get out relatively unscathed save for some nightmares, Seven had her personality completely overwhelmed, and she basically has to start from scratch (including her hair - none of this instantly long hair stuff). Some memories and such will come back over the course of several years, but she will never fully recover. She also gets a uniform from the start.
Paris served his whole sentence, was reformed, and rejoined Starfleet. However, he will never get above Lt. unless he's hero-tier (which he won't be). He still has a bit of an attitude, but he's not the rebel - nor a wunderkind. He's the main pilot.
Harry is a forever ensign because he has no ambition. He's not part of the command crew, but is a part of the ensemble as Tom's backup pilot and protege. Tom tries to get him to live a little, get out and play holodeck games and hockey, go out with the DeLaney sisters, etc., but Harry mostly just wants to design shuttles and brood about how his fiance is probably on Earth screwing other guys. Harry actually is the one that does the bulk of the work on the Delta Flier.

Ok, anons all this sounds good but how do we make it more epic?!
>OH FUCK IT WE HAVE COME THIS FAR WHY NOT GO ALL THE WAY!
>These are the voyages of starship Soyokaze. It's intrepid and some say inept Captain Justy Ueki Tylor. Lead a band of misfits on a mission of unknown length. To who knows where and to meet who knows what. And may whatever gods they worship have mercy on their souls whoever crosses their path. To boldly go where nobody in their right minds would ever want to go.

The Doctor is pretty much the same, but he doesn't act like his hologram is actually him. He doesn't actually look at sensors, padds, etc. because those aren't his eyes, duh. He will look at patients and act like a normal doctor because he's programmed with bedside manner (even if he is kinda a prick), not because he actually needs to. He can't leave the hologram areas of the ship (which will gradually be added to over the course of the series, because having your one doctor locked in one or two rooms is retarded), at least until he gets his mobile emitter, but he can copy his personality into a tricorder to go on away missions and stuff, and can access ship's sensors and speakers for whatever purpose as necessary.
Nelix actually acts like he has the backstory they gave him in S1: a broken, shamed coward that covers it up with a used-car salesman facade.
Kes and the Ocampans are pretty much the same, except none of this "only reproduce once" crap. It turns out the Ocampans used to be almost Ancient-tier back thousands of years ago, and were on the verge of ascending, but their AI Caretaker basically destroyed their civilization and killed almost everyone but a small amount of children, which it then nerfed into the crazy-limited ayys that we all know and hate. There's a dampening field around their planet (which the Caretaker roasted to keep the Ocampans from leaving their caves), which will stay on for a while, but without the Caretaker dealing with those few that escape every so often, the Ocampans will eventually rise to be a galactic menace again. That species that enslaved the Kazon were the few Ocampa that escaped the Caretaker's purge. They had a shipyard that basically spits out ships stupidly fast, but of course the Kazon can't work it properly, and with their slavemasters gone, they just nig out, as we know.

The Maquis join the crew pretty easily, just like in the actual show: they only were against Starfleet because Starfleet was fighting them (and many of them were former Starfleet anyways). With no spoonheads to oppress them, they fall in line easily. Chuckles isn't an Injun, but he can still have a tatoo, why not? Tuvok's wife is Sakonna, which is why he was able to infiltrate the Maquis so easily and get to a high position so quickly. Tuvok is the first officer, and Chakotay is chief of security.
As far as story changes, of course they encounter the Borg far earlier, but much less often. The ship doesn't get mysteriously repaired every week, but it doesn't go full Equinox either, since they actually stop and get repairs with different aliens and trade for more than small stuff. There would be a big travel thing at the end of the season (like the transwarp, slipstream, etc.) that would get the ship way closer to home...and these would be the only times the ship makes big jumps. There would be a new set of recurring space empires every season, with the Borg and perhaps Voth being overarching antagonists (since the big jumps wouldn't mean anything to them).

>The Captain is an old Vulcan that has given up on emotional control and is prone to emotional outbursts
>Ships counselor is a full blooded Klingon matriarch from an exiled house. She solves all psychological issues with a rough slap or combat.
>First Officer is an Orion with mechanically deactivated pheromones. She can turn them back on for interrogations, escaping Romulan capture and when she's off ship and off duty. She somehow manages to get official uniforms in D-cuts and miniskirts.
>Chief medical officer is a human augment. He legitimately graduated Starfleet by keeping his papers purposefully stuck in the quagmire of bureaucratic hell until he graduated. Starfleet can't fire him since he didn't actually lie at any point and it's their own fault he made it through anyways. May be subtly augmenting the crew in various ways when they come in with serious injuries.
>Chief Security Officer "Jitters". A small, fearful man that plans for every outcome in the belief that they will absolutely happen. He understands Dave is a necessity and would probably be in there with him if he didn't have a job to do.
>Chief of Engineer: Keith. Keith actually graduated Starfleet with a Liberal Arts degree and was placed in Engineering by accident. Keith doesn't know fuckall about warp drives but man can he fake it and order his staff around whatever he can't figure out.
>Special guest: Oolok. Oolok is a Horta that unlike other of his kind, wanted to see the universe. He has been on an extended vacation across the Federation. One day, Oolok got drunk off some fine quality marble and passed out only to awake months later as the centerpiece of the ships meeting room table. He wasn't too happy about being mistaken for a piece of art and now wanders the ship unseen and causing mischief as his revenge.

Well, since Tom wouldn't be an actual officer, he wouldn't be the helmsman, so he'd actually have time to actually be the Doctor's medic/sardonic+lazy sidekick.

...I'm liking this more and more.

So what kind of star ship should our band of misfits have?

One of these. I can't recall what it's called, or where it came from. But one of these.

>Navigation is convinced it's a space station and keeps pulling it into a parking orbit and turning off the engines and broadcasting that docking ports are now open to the local area.

Any /STG/ is a good Star Trek general.

That's perfect, then. A ship that bloody big has plenty of space for the likes of Lt. Dave "Space Suit" Innatubes, Lt. Runabout Anne, Ensign Hips, Lt. Commander Reginald Barclay, and all the rest of the misfits.

What about some sort of Constellation-saucer twin-hull Constitution? The thick saucer would give Dave tubes in all directions most of the time, but have enough bottlnecks and such for more encounters with the crew and other problematic ship systems.

Have the Equinox arrive during one of the seasons and have it stay for a whole season. Get to know the characters and slowly build up the differences between the two captains and ships. Chakotay can even serve as the PoV for a few episodes, to highlight the differences and show the divide between captains. The season finale involves the differences coming to a head and the Equinox is destroyed.

Neelix's personality needed to be gutted. Either he's a cheerleader, a cook, or a trader...not all three.

Make Ensign Kim get screen time on the throwaway episodes by having him familiarize himself with ships systems at a hands on level. He can grow with the viewers and establish the main storytelling areas. He may not be a bad ass but he'll feel like a cross between O'Brien and LaForge, trying to do his best but in the end he's an Ensign.

Seven's character was fine but needed less 'Seven learns a lesson' and more 'Seven tries to interpret the Prime Directive but it's different than Janeway's Interpretation for X reasons'

Paris needs to be less of an every man. Pilot, Medic, Buff, Away Team Person, Engineer... they could have given some of this to another character. I'd love to see Pilot + Engineer interact with a token away team person who is also an Engineer. It would flesh out Paris and why he was in jail more than just one little thing.

Janeway needed to turn down the God Complex slightly. Some more introverted stories where you could do a 'what if' on some of the gray area decisions she's made.

Perfect but for already that we have claimed Reginald Barclay as Chief Engineer.

So, what does /stg/ think of the idea of the Loknar here being basically a dedicated tank? This bitch has FOUR shield generators, all of the same size as the Miranda's one. It has fewer phasers, though, and it has more torpedoes upfront but only one in the rear.

So I see this thing as a Miranda-weight ship which is heavily skewed towards fighting, and in a fight, being the first ship in the line. Its job is to get close to the enemy and MAKE them pay attention to it; it has far more than enough firepower to ruin anyone's day if they ignore it, but it has as much shielding as a generation-up larger vessel.

In an MMO sense, it's a tank.

>Keith doesn't know fuckall about warp drives but man can he fake it
so basically pic related

I like it. Maybe as Voyager and the Talaxian Exodus rattle their way across the galaxy they absorb other wanderers into the fleet. That Kirk era Klingon ship for example.

That big fucking Generational Ship they find only this time they don't side with the fucking terrorist cell because seriously? What the fuck?

Equinox captain hijacks a shuttle and lures the anti-matter aliens away from his ship, sacrificing himself. The Aliens loose interest after that. Equinox added to fleet.

There would be no easy short cut, skip half the galaxy home magic Borg sponsored button.

This time they have to slog ever weary light year and they can only travel as fast as the slowest ship in the fleet. Engine upgrades and shit do mean that the 75 year trip is done in a "mere" ~30. New Federation longevity treatments and shit account for the minimal levels of additional old suffered by the crew.

Fortunately, Keith isn't the Chief Engineer, that would be Based Reginald Barclay, a man who actually knows some shit. He just stutters.

Too small.

We need more tubes for the Kingdom of Innatubes.

That Space Whale class ship is a small town IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE complete with all the problems that this would bring.

In any case tit would have to be big. This is the storage box that Starfleet keeps all the oddballs that it doesn't want to kick out because they occasionally come in very useful but at the same time is mostly ashamed of and don't want their neighbours to see.

Hence Chief Engineer Reginald Barclay. A man qualified to fix all of the things on all of the ships, has survived everything from alien probe brain rape, Borg battles and mutation plagues and came out of the other side of it no worse than he was at the start of it.

Sadly at the start of it he was mildly aspergic, had quite bad anxiety issues, stuttered a lot and was prone to addiction.

These fuckers are part of the crew or at least are assigned to the ship. Assigned as what? Nothing really. Captain was just told to sign a piece of paper which he did without reading because he was hungover and the delivery dude dropped a big crate in the cargo bay then swiftly beamed back to his ship and immediately Warp 9.5ed it out before they opened the crate.

>>The Captain is an old Vulcan that has given up on emotional control and is prone to emotional outbursts
Cliche. If we're going with a Space Whale, I'm actually tempted to say Admiral Janeway deserves the big seat again.
Or we could use my futanari telekinetic Irish space elf who set out into space to live the life of James Tiberius Kirk and beat his high scores.

>>First Officer is an Orion with mechanically deactivated pheromones. She can turn them back on for interrogations, escaping Romulan capture and when she's off ship and off duty. She somehow manages to get official uniforms in D-cuts and miniskirts.
This one, I like.

>>Chief medical officer is a human augment.
Mmmmmh, could work, could work! Or we could get a certain opera-loving hologram.

>>Chief Security Officer "Jitters". A small, fearful man that plans for every outcome in the belief that they will absolutely happen. He understands Dave is a necessity and would probably be in there with him if he didn't have a job to do.
Him; I like him. He may actually be welcome to intrude on the Kingdom of Innatubes, because some things are just a two-man job.

Some other interesting members of the crew... I'll take an earlier idea and run with it.
> Lt. "Runabout" Anne Sommers. Flight deck chief, sees no reason to stock UNWORTHY small craft. In her opinion, if it isn't a Danube-class runabout (long haul!), a Delta Flyer (general purpose), or a Peregrine-class starfighter (ass-kicking!), it has no business on her flight deck. Has been recycling every other small craft that comes her way and constructing more of those three. Lives in the back of a heavily-customized Delta Flyer. Dreams of one day designing and constructing a super-shuttle the size of pic related (~3x the size of a Danube.)

Moderately paranoid; wears a transporter beacon armband at all times linked to her Delta Flyer's transporter, and carries a trio of one-shot pattern enhancers so she can GTFO of dodge and back to her ship.

>I'm actually tempted to say Admiral Janeway deserves the big seat again.

No.

Why not? It's a crew of misfits, fuckups, paranoids and misanthropes. Who better to lead them?

Given the typically Klingon blunt force solutions to problems and lack of ability to give even token shits the Klingon Matriarch counsellor could be quite fun on a ship so full of fuck ups as this.

Considers it her duty to keep morale of ship up as pre-emptive attack on possible future problems.

To this end she hired "entertainment specialists". Or at least that's the compromise the captain had to reach in regards to their job title on the official documents. He wanted to put them down as part of the "morale assistants" but Matriarch "Spine Breaker" Troughgath considered the title to be to lowly for them.

She wanted to them to be "Ships Courtesans" because it sounded classy and reminded her of when her House got invited to all the good official parties.

The actual new recruits were quite happy to be called ships whores so long as they got bed board and all their drinks free.

It's basically a collection of a few dozen mostly Betazoids, Orions and a few Klingons of both genders and a Romulan Madam.

In all fairness they are more qualified than mere sex workers and organize sorting competitions, art classes, cinema nights and all manner of other diversions.

They have proven their value to the ship many times over.

>sorting
*sporting

A bit too on-the-nose, methinks.

Here, have the ship (Perhaps we should call this beast USS Ark Royal?) with a squadron of Lt. Sommer's darlings deployed for duty.

>sorting competitions
I just saw this. Top kek.
I am now picturing the teams from the Quartermaster's Office, Engineering, the Hangars, and Maintenance facing off in a gigantic cargo bay in a race to see who can sort all their components the fastest. The competition's integrity is ensured by Lt. Dave "Space Suit" Innatubes, who is not present in the cargo bay but in the tubes above it, and will penalize any team he catches cheating (and he WILL catch them cheating,) by stunning the offender and the crewman next to the offender.

Note: "Space Suit Dave" is not actually an official of the sorting event. He just has a moderately-serious dislike for cheating in official, regulated competitions, and nobody is willing to go up there and tell him he can't punish cheaters with stun blasts.

This stands in stark contrast to his on-record opinions on cheating in unofficial, informal competitions, which is, in as many words, "if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying."