Galatic Federation council meeting

Our main topic for today is all about 'shitposting'. Communications across the entire galaxy is getting ever slower and slower because of the outrageous amount of memes and trolling that is going on the quanternet, preventing our militaries from talking to each other. We must find a solution to this before it becomes even worse, our navies had to rely on pointing lasers at each other for communications during operations.

What the fuck is that bird-cyclops thing?

It's disgusting, that's what it is.

I bet it doesn't even have cilia.

Restrict inter-stellar communications to government only, you stupid cyclopoid turkey. Why the hell are you letting your civilians access an extra-net that extends beyond their own star or gravity well?

Jesus how did the galaxy survive before humanity figured out how to join the community

Jesus, by the by, is a pejorative referencing to a human philosopher born in the 4th BC in a region called the Levant. He reached cult memetic status due to his teaching and views on pacifism, empathy, and universal love, as well as his eventual martyrdom leading to him becoming worshiped as a messianic god figure by tribals a few centuries later. It's meant, in this context, to express exasperated disbelief, as one invokes the name of 'God' or 'Gods own Son' in awe of the stupidity they have witnessed

Because you are a fucking moron.

So says the walking, talking mushroom.

This is why we insisted on hosting critical systems on their own separate network, but no we just had to make concessions to the Anarcho-Communist party saying we wouldn't do that.

Oh please, every mammal I've met has wanted to stick its fleshy extrusions through my sternal cavities.

Mammalian species are all perverts.

Clearly these "'trolls" should be used as food for a hopefully less annoying generation.

You got a fucking a problem with mushrooms, outworlder?

Recommendation: Individuals bypassing a pre-determined data limit on trans-system communications are re-purposed into cybernetic automatons, increasing work efficiency per population sample while decreasing network strain.

AHAHAHAHAHA, YES! SOON OUR SHITPOSTING AND MEMES WILL SLOW THE QUANTERNET DOWN TO A CRAWL, LEAVING IT SO LAGGY THAT NONE MAY MESSAGE OR TWEET! THE GALAXY WILL BE OURS.

>default flag

WEW LAD

That's bedside the point and completely off topic.

The topic is that you're all disgusting, meaty perverts that are far too sensitive to our spore excretion.

We blame the fungoids, they never invest in hyper network infrastructure.

Was that portrait part of the new update or is it part of a DLC?

New update, they also have space elves.

Wait you dont have sperate infrastructure set up just in case things get to messy on the regular networks just in case?
How has this federation stood this long?

That specific portrait is DLC, as are the other "Cute" species.
The rest are part of the update.

We didn't have any problems till YOU joined.

Joined?
Were allied with the Federation we never officially joined and you didnt build extra infrastructure to accomidate extra traffic.

Your inferior network shall never be as great as ours. Too bad you inferior Xeno heretics will not be allowed to use it when you are enslaved by the true rulers of this galaxy.

The Appalachatian Corporate Council advises the use of content filtration technology, such as the patented SoapScreen! Squeaky Clean Content Monitor AI.

As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.

Nice.

I wish that cancer had never happened. Loads of interesting weird aliens, then suddenly LOL STAR TREK 4 TEH WAIFUS XDDDDD style shit in Heinlein. Guess it makes sense tat a shit-tier update would be named after a shit-tier author.

I say we kill anyone who post things that makes me uncomfortable! So everyone will post what I like! And everyone would be happy!

With Regards, Space Whale from Tumbworld

Sauce?

Oh, fuck off, Lal.

Too much freedom is as dangerous as too little.
There must be balance in all things.

You still use dial-up in this day and age you lunatics.

FUCKING XENOS
NOW EATING MY TRANSFER
REMOVE XENO REMOVE XENO

Yes sir, we need to improve the network, wire everything together, yesss....

We do not use such a crude and archaic device, unlike you filthy scum. We use far superior psionic relays.

Fuck you bitches i got a dreadnought now!

Yes but where is the gold

But the governments ARE shitposting.
That's the problem!
We should never have allowed the Crombulans in the federation.

The United Systems of America would like to request it's own, separate Council seat.

ATTENTION FASCISTS OF THE GALACTIC FEDERATION

YOU CANNOT STOP OUR DANK MEMES AND SHITPOSTING

REMOVE FASCISTS

ROW ROW FIGHT DA POWAH

AND WE WILL DO IT WITH MY

>ORANGE
>TRANSPARENT
>CHAINSAW

The Lhitehr'Baux Regime agrees that the issue of shitposting is one too important to be left unaddressed.

Wait, so you guys don't like those pictures of Thuroxian shrimp holding invisible objects?

You're a real dummy, you know that?

You can take one when your men develop proper claws on their secondary manipulator arms instead of just having less useful fingers.

What this Federation really needs is a way to make more shekels.

Grant our mercantile state exclusive control over your communications system and we'll ensure high revenues and a minimum of shitposting, goy- er, Federation councilors.

Stop this at once!

FOOD

Excuse me chairman, but isn't shitposting a valid part of Veeky Forums?

Go get it!

This is my new fighter.

...

We could build use quantum computing to filter out shitposting.

Who gave the primitives the com codes?

We are saddened to see our greatest contribution to a free and open Galactic Society overrun by meme spouting Xenophobes and Fanatic Materialists and Fanatic Spiritualists verbally sniping at each other over their worldviews. So as Xenophile/Pacifists we offer this strongly worded warning: Knock it off! Or we may have to send a strongly worded letter to the nearest Materialist Fallen Empire about your gross abuse of technology!

don't play them then. Idk why you have to fly into a shitfit.

I'm detecting strange energy signals.
Could this be... true trolling!?

Don't tell dad you dick

Nice fighter.

two words

tentacle porn

Just here, sneering as usual, you damn primitive species.

You have the entire galaxy open to you and yet you argue like the backwater planet owners you are.

Get out Spess Elves!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wouldn't that knock you of the qauntumnet?

No, we are here to stay. You won´t get rid of us that easily.

Ah, shit. Meant to link to .

Trying to play an arrogant space elv and I can´t even do that right.

Gentlemen please!

This Galactic Council is no place for self serving sniping, pointless arguments over nothing or blatent out and out racism!

But seriously.

I think the greatest problem facing the Galactic Federation Council in these times is individualist rabbles raising complaints with other polities over their culturally relevant Brain Stapling practices.

If CERTAIN nations could only learn to mute their communication apperatus when certain Star Empires enslave conquered nations then I feel there would be a lot less acrimony during these council sessions.

Don't these said Starfaring races realise that the only rational alternative to enslavement is to simply purge the species out from existence and replace them with android workers?

I ask you speaker, is that REALLY what people want?

If the collectivists would stop trying to enslave the galaxy then it this wouldn't be an issue.

Bugnog!

It's those damn robots, coming to my planets takin' my jobs...

Just stay away from our territory, and you can do whatever you want.

Oh, handvaving faggot spotted. Fucking Zro junkies and their magicks. You most likely believe in some "higher planes" your spiritualist xeno faggot?
Damn separatists. We finally managed to have ONE government for our superior species, damn murricans ruin everything trying to split with their colonies. This is the very mindsed why our original homeworld is now home to uplifted cockroach mutant-slaves.
kek'd hard
stfu, smurf-bird
Your race looks close enough to ours to turn a blind eye to your xenohood and maybe deepen... our relations. If you get what I mean hehe.
Whats wrong about purging? Seriously. And robots make better workforce than slaves, actually. In most cases.

Well, obviously I agree with you in the main, it's just that SOME races think exterminating a sentient species is somehow morally questionable or somesuch nonesense.

Next thing you know they close their borders off to your scientists and are claiming that somehow their three planet backwater thats barely discovered nanocomposites is a rival to ours, and they end up on The List.

Although, the one downside to Robots are that they do drain a fair bit of energy away from the Starfleet Maintanence Budget, and whilst we all like a good robot guncaddy for those safari's on Vohaul III, I prefer my Dreadnaughts more.

If robots took your job would you die?

SOON ALL OF YOU UNCLEAN FILTH WILL BE PURIFIED! THROUGH FIRE AND STEEL! Uguu~

What do *you* want?

Did the hackers set your translator to anime mode again?

Oh, look. Another wishy-washy middle-of-the-road milquetoast motherfucker.

When did turkey become an interstellar empire?

Time to make this Federation cute again.