You see this running charging you

>The group is exploring the an abandoned village and the dm shows each of the PCs pic related and that it is charging right for you guys.

How does the party react?

try fast talk

>"I roll to disbelieve"
>"What? Really?"
>"I rolled a 20! That means it doesn't exist!"
>"Okay, you roll a 20. You're still pretty sure it exists."
>"No, i rolled a 20! There's no way I believe it exists!"
>"If that's really how you want this to go down..."
>TPK
>Never allowed to DM again for not making the "illusion" disappear.

>It's not like the GM would have us face something above our level, amirite?

>Am a Necromancer
This is fucking heaven for me.

drop firebombs and run

I never thought the skeletons would stoop so low, as to ally with the cardiovascular systems. And such a brazen attack too. They must be getting desperate.

Use slashing! Those boneheads have veins now!

well i'm gonna start my engine and fuck off

abandoned houses can't charge

>The halfling bard shouts "OH FUCK THIS" and tries to run away.
>The rogue looks for a route up and away from the oncoming horde.
>The fighter either throws the bard at the horde to get a head start, or if he's feeling particularly headstrong/suicidal that day, bellows a challenge and plants his halberd.

As you take off, you hear a wet slapping noise, accompanied by a scratching. You feel the balance is a little off too. Some of them are hanging into your plane. The noise is approaching.

shoot them with a pistol while my co pilot demounts the heavy macine gun from the plane

and swearing in polnish of cause
kurwa

Hah, the tribes of the mad hold no sway over me! For I am a scion of the Tuatha de danann!

I fall to my knees and start praying. As I do so a disembodied glowing mallet appears in front of the door, ready to strike the first undead to reach us.

A few moments later, light fills the area, as hundreds of radiant little spirits fly all around the party like a whirlwind of glowing doom spelling out for the fiendish entities closing in on us.

>I cast spiritual weapon
>I cast Guardian Spirits
>end turn

wow fuck that group

SMITE EVIL also running but SMITING

I charge for 9d8+108 damage.

Dis iz why i didn't kill dose kultists.

WAAAGH!

Punch it til it dies.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

I roll to seduce.

Exalted:
Laugh maniacally, then let the Zenith start her Demon-Wracking Glory dance.

Hunter:
Scream, cry, and desperately try to hotwire a car while the horde batters against their Ward edge.

I blast them with a lot of radiant damage, hoping that the searing light scares them.

I had a player like this

>Casting two spells on the same turn
Terribly sorry for my rulefaggotry, but assuming 5e, that's not possible.

Cast Holocaust

Spiritual weapon is a bonus action in 5e

PHB says otherwise: you can only cast two spells under the following conditions:

one spell has casting time of 1 bonus action,
you've not used a bonus action for anything else this turn (because you can only take one bonus action per turn),
the other spell is a cantrip,
the other spell has a casting time of 1 action.

Afifx bayonets

Is this from Romantically Apocalyptic?

>fixing bayonet
>no bayonet lug or way to get that bayonet over that ridonkulous muzzle device

This kills the guardsmen.

Did you not just read the post you're quoting, or are you actually retarded?

>Shadowrun.
Bunker up, call someone, and pray to god I have enough ammo if I can't escape.
>KND.
Commence plan 23!
Which is panic and run around in circles.

We are being overrun, I say again we are being overrun. Requesting artillery strike on our position at *insert our coordinates*.

(One artillery strike confirmation later) Comrades, it has been an honor serving with you. And Frank? I was the one who stole your porn stash.

summon pic related

Campaign one: Crack a sarcastic joke and attempt to sneak out the back. Failing that I hide. I'll fight if I'm forced to, but holy shit I do NOT fuck with that shit.

Campaign two: Bernhardt the paladin begins vibrating with paladinistic wrath. The smite engine warms up and the sword starts cleaving. I'll buy time for the oracle to do something clever. and if I die, I die doing what I love: killin' shit.

D&D 3.5 campaign: Metamorphose myself and psicrystal into hippogriffs, put the party on our backs and fly away.

GURPS: I don't know what the rest of the party does but as a sniper I'm hopefully 500 meters away at the least.

Werewolf: Step sideways and hope they aren't in the penumbra.

I use the Practice of Veiling with the Death Arcanum.
These undead monsters are now incapable of perceiving us.
Might risk some very mild Paradox, but I've a high Wisdom and it if worst comes to worst I'll just contain it within my Soul.

Then we'll get the Mastigos to search through the village with Space Unveiled sight, and try and find what's causing this undead tomfoolery.

All of those conditions must be true, not just some, boss.

The character would kill themself. That much bloodmoss in one location AND its out in the daylight? We right fucked proppa we is.

Yeah. How is the comic nowadays?

I open up my mouth and eat.

And eat.

And eat.

And eat.

C is for Skele, thats good enough for me

>Khornate cultist sees this.
>Squees for the blood god.

>escaping the Red Miles
I just accept my Rock Falls death and begin rolling a new character

As one they flash with incandescent flame and are swept from existence

Step One: Throw the loli bomb at it.
Step Two: Allahu akbar!
Step Three: There is now an unharmed loli and a distinct lack of whatever that was.

>This kills the Guardsman
Is there anything that DOESN'T kill the Guardsman?

>Assuming that a Scratch is enough to escape The Red Miles.

PDF

That's okay, I can just cast Spirit Guardians @ level 5 now and then spiritual weapon next round. The undead will be hurting if they come near us either way

Underrated fucking response