/sPs/

>"Sure, if you don't mind the entire party jumping you"
Some problems are entirely self-solving

Perhaps "sword" or something of the like

No, no, I'm pretty sure it was Morgan Freeman the black actor.

>"Hey so I want to play a necromancer"
>"Yeah I know that the party leader is a golem soldier specifically made to destroy undead and kill necromancers and hates dark magic"
>"What's the problem???????"
>Proceeds to throw a shitfit when the GM gives him a list of reasons that the character wouldn't work in the setting
Honestly thinking back on it I think he was just trying to cause drama to get back at the group for his previous character dying.
Why did his previous character die?
Well, the golem soldier got in a fight with a newer model golem that was programmed wrong, and the former wanted to nonlethally eliminate the latter so that he could be re-taught, and given that the two of them were the last of their kind in existence, was vehemently against killing the latter. So, this player decided to have his character repeatedly say that he would kill the newer model even if we were successful in knocking it out, so the newer model decided his chances of survival would go up if he focused on the douchebag that kept spouting off about killing him no matter what. And focus he did.

>"I know this is a game set in a fantasy Eastern Europe, but I have this Samurai character I'd like to play..."

"Yeah, I'm sure I want to do that."

>Can I play a half elf
>Can the shelf elves be Jews?
>Can they be, like, super persecuted?

>Jew elves

>please force everyone else to change clan, I want to be the only Mekhet

>give cinematic description of attack and wound
>"So does that mean I get a bonus?"
No, fuck you. Why do I even try to be a good DM.

>Why do I even try to be a good DM.
Because no one else will. I know your feel, user.

I had a paladin like this. He was a tiefling.
His history included a female tiefling thief who he caught and attempted to reform in exchange for her returning the money she stole.
She had a steady job until she decided to rob her new employer (the same person she stole from the first time) and the paladin hunted her down again. She offered poontang in exchange for freedom, and he refused, turned her in, and put her down for resisting arrest and attempting to bribe an officer of the law.
His parents are the only two other Good tieflings he knows personally, so he doesn't have a high opinion of his race.

>unclear descriptors
>waaah my players are stupid

but stunting is fun

>descriptions
>"uh? what happened?"

>t. Entitled shithead player

If they weren't intending to be a total weeaboo with a not!Kenshin and were a good roleplayer I could possibly let it fly, but that isn't the kinda person who would do something like that.

>can I play a Hunter that hates Vampires
>It's in my story, however they don't necessarily hate vampires

Contradictory second post proves original post is stupid bait post.

...That made no sense. That was a vaccum where sense does not exist and if it could exist, it would be sucked off and dissapear into the senselessness.

I talk for all GMs of this world.
We hate you.

Yes, but you don't get stunt bonuses when the DM does it.

>Eight sessions and twelve fights in
>"What do I add to my attack, again?"

This shit kills me

>GM: "We're using Books A, B, C, and D for this game. We're using Option A for character creation. Everything else is banned."
>A Bad Player: "Here is the character I made before any of this was established using exclusively material from banned books, and created with Option B. Also, I am going to whine and throw a tantrum if you tell me to make a new character."

I know there's someone out there guilty of this, and if you're reading this, I hate you and want to break open your skull with another skull and drink your thinkmeats through a curly straw. I will fuck you in half with a hatchet. The police will never find your body. Fuck you.

>Can I take [upgrade meant to compensate for the shittiness of primitive melee weapons] and put it on [best gun in the game]?
>What do you mean, no?

My response to that is "It's been three sessions. If you don't know your attack bonus, you don't get your attack bonus." Works pretty well.

>those thumbnails
HIRO FIX THIS SHIT

For a second there, I thought I was the only one who could see it.

>I'm gonna make a cripplingly overspecialized character who is really, really, really good at [X] but a blind three-legged dog in every other circumstance
>half a session in: I'm bored, my guy can't do anything except [X] over and over

This shit is why I don't play 3.5/PF anymore.

>Hey guys, thought I'd run a game of [Not D&D 3.5 / Pathfinder]
>(unending chorus of whining, crying, stomping, farting)

>seeing vanilla thumbnails
Really?

Yes, really.

Care to share which extension you're using?

github.com/ccd0/Veeky Forums-x

Thanks, you're a pal.

THIS!
OMG!
I SUPPLIED EVERY CHARACTER WI TH A COPY OF THE RULES!
TAKE 10 MINUTES DURING A BREAK AND READ THE FUCKING COMBAT SECTION!

For the most part, I'm on your side. Only time my GM has ever done something lame about this was when he described me slicing a big chunk out of someone's armor and then saying I couldn't target this weak spot on future attacks despite having the system equivalent of a feat for targeting specific parts of an opponent.

GM has GIVEN the player the mod multiple times. WRITE IT DOWN. PUT IT ON YOUR SHEET SO YOU HAVE IT. WE USE THE SAME BUFFS, JUST RIGHT DOWN THE DIFFERENT COMBINATIONS WE USE AND ROLL YOUR FUCKING DICE YOU PIECE OF SHIT HOLY FUCK.

I get that some of the players have learning disabilities, but you have been told your mod, you know you won't remember, so just write it down. Keep it on your sheet. I don't have a problem with you forgetting some things, but make an actual effort to record essential shit.

Most of the time, it's already on the sheet.

>GM hasn't asked for a roll or anything, player picks up dice and rolls.
>GM: player, what are you rolling for?
>Player shrugs.
I am the GM in this case. I've warned him that from now on, I choose what that roll was for. He better pray he doesn't do it when the party is talking to a dragon.
Dragons generally dislike strangers shoving their hands where they don't belong.

>player keeps rolling until he gets a good number
>he keeps the die sitting on that one until he's asked to roll for something, then demands to use that roll
>tell him to roll again
>complains that everyone saw him roll that so it's fair
>he actually for-real thinks he's being so fucking clever

Don't be a shithead and punish everyone else because someone's being an asshole and annoying you, holy goddamn shit.

>basically Worker-7-New vs Worker-8 from FFT
>except Worker-8 wants to non-lethally disable Worker-7-New so he can be reprogrammed
>and some dickbag is screaming about how, no, he's just going to kill Worker-7-New, even if they manage to disable him without killing him
>complains like a twat and throws a bitch-fit when he gets Destroyed, Pulverized, Compressed, and Disposed

capitalism, ho!

We have a few people who throw up buffs. +1 here, +3 there. The GM even made a condition monitor where we can update buffs and shit. All you gotta do is add the buffs to your mod, and you're good to go. Some people just can't do it. They don't pay attention, so they don't know what's up. They don't pay attention, so they don't remember what the different buffs give them. There's only 1 buff that is variable in what it gives, all the rest are the same every time. They can't handle it. I wasn't adding them quickly enough for my liking, so I wrote next to my mod what was to be added depending on what was up, since I have like, 3 buffs of my own that work in conjunction with what we have from other party members. You pay attention to what's on and you add them together. If you can't handle that, have them pre-added, that way you only need to know what is on to know your number.

These are the same people who never remember what's going on in the story, so they ask me. Write notes. You've forgotten before, you're likely going to forget again. Write notes. I don't want to tell you why we're where we are every session.

>Hey (GM), I know your character creation post says that we're limited to these three books. But, can I have (option) from (book not on the list)?
>No.
>Why not?
>I don't allow that book because I don't own it, and thus don't have any experience with the material.
>I can give you this pdf I got off Veeky Forums.
>No.
>Why the fuck not?
>Because I'm not going to pirate a book just so you can feel special.
>Fuck you. I didn't want to apply to your game anyways.

I said literally nothing about punishing the entire party, user. Though in hindsight I can see where you would make that leap. I was talking about it's face, anyway.

I've had this happen. Back in college, I'd run games either via Y!IM or via three-way/group-calling. One of my two players couldn't write up a character sheet to save his life, so when, a day after I mention the idea behind the campaign, he shows with a sheet for , I give it a look. Half the bonuses are wrong, and the character's five levels higher than the number I gave him(tenth), because she's a Blackguard of Tiamat. Wants a wyvern mount, too. Refuses to change it, throws a bitch-fit, whines, etc, and I throw down the gauntlet.

>Okay, fine, next time we're on campus at the same time is in two days. In the next three days, I'm going to proofread your sheet, make sure the numbers are right, and make a character at the same level as yours, and we're going to have a one on one match. If you win, I'll bend the rules and start the campaign at twelfth level, the minimum for your class to have a wyvern mount, and supply you with one, for half price.
>"What happens if I lose?"
>You make another character, with my oversight at every step of the process.
>"Fine, see you then."

He didn't show. Said he'd been sick that day, offered to show up another few days later, even though he didn't need to be on campus. The next day, he sent me a message talking about another character idea he had.

Idiot bitch fucks who pull shit like that tend to be complete cowards, too, so his pussying out isn't at all a surprise. Gotta keep that oversized but fragile ego intact!

>Yeah, but in my setting-

My brother once said that shit... word for word.

>"Yeah, but in my setting-"
>isn't even the GM
I HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN

>like writing custom rules
>player makes character build
>"Hey can you change the rules of the game so my build isn't shit?"
>no, that fucks a lot of shit up
>"But you like making custom rules, why can't you make custom rules for me?"
>i like making rules add-ons, not changing the in-game rules
>"But they're the same thing!"
>no, they're not
>"But my build will be shit!"
>then make a different build
>"But I want this build!"
>then I guess too bad, you're shit?
>"BUT REALISTICALLY THIS WOULD WORK THIS WAY AND"

i think you get the jist

>realistically
It was already whiny baby shit, but that made it an order of magnitude worse.

>4 sessions in
>still have to check what to roll for firearms, meele or disciplines

I'm the GM
there is very little focus on combat in my campaigns

I can see a movie about his attempts at erradicating the entire vampire race.
You can go about it in two ways, one is the really edgy way where he's much stronger than other vampires for no reason and succeeds, or where this fanatical devotion towards the extermination of his kindred is shown as absolutely naïve and he slowly descends into madness/despair the more he realizes how futile his task is.

Coincidentally I'm playing the latter in a 1 on 1 vampire game that started off in dark ages vampire.

That's pretty much exactly what happened.

Better tHan my last dm. only time he described things in more than surface details was when either we failed, or got brutalized by opponents, or he sprung on of his "clever" traps.

>asked to describe his character
>"I wear jeans and a leather jacket, probably Harley&Davidson's, and a pair of sports shoes."
>game takes place in Victorian London

Or, you know, they don't actually need blood to live, it's just an addictive delicacy?

Yeah, alright, my bad. It read like the dragon would then eat the whole of the party or something. If it just flame broils the guy then goes back to polite conversation with the rest of them? I withdraw my complaint totally.

Only the choppy part of the sword. Forgot what it's called

Hmm, like the "steel?" No, that's not quite right.

>Only the choppy part of the sword.
That's "Weak", isn't it? Foible in Latin.

More "bite his arm off to teach him a valuable lesson", but yeah. That's the gist of it.

>Can I play a Vampire Hunter Hunter?
>She hunts Vampire Hunters.
>One of them killed her Vampire dad. For killing their non-Vampire dad.

Something about anybody in any setting that isn't modern-day regular human civilization describing their clothes as "Jeans and a T-Shirt/Jacket/Hoodie" gives me an uncontrollable urge to feed them their own eyeballs.

It was Will Smith you tards

>I know it says in the Shadow Sun Ninja description that doing this turns me into a vampire that becomes an NPC under the DM's control, but you wouldn't do that, would you?
>I know it says that if my dark side points equal my Wisdom score, I fall to the dark side and become an NPC under the GM's control, but you wouldn't do that, would you?
>I know it says that if I run out of humanity, I go berserk and become an NPC under the storyteller's control, but you wouldn't do that, would you?
>I know it says that this explicitly happens in the rules as a reasonable consequence for fucking up, but can I guilt you into not doing it because I hate and don't understand the concept of actions having consequences?

I was once in a medieval fantasy game with a dude who insisted on using a picture of a dude in a t-shirt and jeans as his character portrait.

Everything else was fine, but he just really really wanted to use THAT picture. Not just the face cropped out for a portrait, but the whole thing.

It was weird how fixated he was on that.

Speaking of medieval apparel, how much effort do you guys go to in order to produce some historically semi-accurate outfit?
Have you researched what kind of underwear (if any) would be applicable and with what kind of leg garments? How many layers of skirt would be appropriate for a lady of what rank?

I don't really care if something is historically accurate, I only care if it fits with the culture these norms are made for. The game I'm running now doesn't take place on Earth, after all, so our history doesn't really matter.

Only thing worse
>girl wants to play a barbarian
>every
>fight
>in the game
>"what's the dice i use to hit things?"

Frankly though, that isn't a problem with her playing a barbarian, it's a problem of her not actually caring to learn the rules. She would probably bother you just as much no matter what class she picked.

This. She probably isn't an idiot, she just doesn't give a fuck about the game, and just wants to be there for the social aspect. She doesn't and never will care about the game or the rules.

the blade

Well, now you've ruined the joke. Dumbass.

>"I Dab"

>dabbing
>in any context

I hate life.

Christ, do I know how you feel.
>What do you mean the NPC doesn't want to help? All I did was call them a worthless sack of shit to their face.
>What do you mean the guards are attacking me? All I did was threaten to kill a man while I had my sword drawn.
>What do you mean all the NPCs run screaming from me in terror? All I did was kill a guy and melt him into a puddle of goo.
>What do you mean I fall? I only took my hands off that ledge while dangling over a pit.
I'm not exaggerating or making any of those up. Fortunately, I don't have to play with those dumbasses anymore because I remembered I have a spine.

How do players like this even manage to get through daily life without a basic understanding of consequences?

In my experience, they're also huge pussies when it comes to backing up any of their posturing outside of games.

The fuck does that even mean?

>>(in context of writing rules for a captive bolt pistol/slaughter house stun gun based weapon which is placed against the forehead to turn the victim's frontal lobe into soup)

>I think since its purely physical, you should roll a reflex to try and negate the damage done to your brain. Reflexively drawing your head out of range of the pin.
>>No, it's doing intelligence damage, it has to be a Will save.
>But Will saves are for things like terror and psychic stuff. you can't out think a rod turning your brain turning to soup...
>>NO! IT DOES INTELLIGENCE DAMAGE, IT HAS TO BE A WILL SAVE! (shouting in a crowded game shop where we met up to work/game)

Maybe if it were magic it would be a will save, jeez some people are idiots.

>What is the silk road?

Honestly I find cinematic descriptions boring, might just be my dm isn't good at engaging with them though, but especially when it comes to my own characters it doesn't give a feel for how I envision my character fighting since the gm never really asks about fighting style he more just looks at weapons used.

Like

instead of wiping?

Yeah, doing good descriptions can be hard. Less is more, and you should always do something personal vs generic "cool" shit; if a player brings a grizzled old merc to the table, the GM should describe his attacks as brutal and efficient and bloody -- no flips or swordspins or other stuff, save those for the elven swashbuckler!

It's a weed thing, you fuckin squares.