40k Tabletop stories

Share some hilarity that has happend to you while playing 40k

>Be me
>Fairly new to 40k
>playing imperial guard
>infantry based
>only 1 Leman Russ backup
>Fighting Chaos
>His Termies and warlord goes after my Russ because he wants the "tankhunter" objective
>has to plow through the masses of imps that secured 5 fucking objective points in the first round
>1 round later his Termies are literally touching the tank
>can't fire the main gun because it would hit the tank, Fucking heresy
>Termies has power fists and the Warlord is OP as fuck
>tank has 1 Hull point left
>uses my double mounted plasmas to hit them
>rolls double "get's hot"
>Tank blows up
>Enemy rages
>MFW i took away the objective point from the enemy by blowing up my own tank

Here is the real question. Did the explosion kill the termie?

It did hurt the Warlord (because the Opponent deicded that he would take the damage), but because he was Buffed so much on boons, it was merely a dent.

Sadly not any termie killed, but i was still ahead regarding objective points

I got a story for you
>Playing Renegades and Heretics against white scars
>He deploys first, I deploy second
>I place my wyvern behind good cover and even my dudes out in prepare for his bikes
>I get the initiative and movement dudes up a bit
>I then move on to the shooting phase
>This is where it gets fun
>I target his warlords unit with my wyvern.
>All direct hits on his warlord
>I kill his warlord and some dudes
>He needs to make a leadership test
>He fails and run of the board turn 1
>I continue to shell the rest off his units while my dudes surround him
>He gives up on turn 3
>mfw as I see his space marines drop like flies

>friend brings 12 new, shiny, dice to our game
>his orks fight my Deldar for a few hours
>packing away
>"err, mate, these only have 3's and 5's on"
>he'd bought and we'd subsequently used trick dice for the entire game

I tell myself I'm only half as thick.

>playing IG vs all fly uber Nids
>belching out plasma and heavy bolter rounds like no one ever
>only kill one flyrant but menage hold the ground while the guy is too distracted popping my tanks
>he also has a fuckhuge harridan that lands right in front of my centerpiece tank to take an objective, meanwhile minespores deepstrike so damn close my blob of entrenched grenadiers
>the only model that is close enough to take care about the minespores before they decimate most of my infantry is a lonely primaris psyker
>try to pass a power, get perils and roll a six
>fuck it lets charge the spores before they move in blast range of my troops
>he survives
>the turn late charges the harridan, and despite the perils effect having worn off he survives fighting that giant thing until the end of the game (pretty fun even if i was against a flying circus and using a shitty list made on the moment)
>i was using another model to proxy the psyker, a fucking krieg, since its holding a banner (and looked like a staff blah blah) that says "Iustus extremis!"

I will always use him as psyker after this.

This ones from a while back but

>Playing Admech/skitarri
>Against Space wolves
>Only second time i've played, and he's the super grognard of the local scene.
>He's super exited to use his new flier for the first time
>it comes out and flies at me, but can't get in range to shoot
>My Dunecrawler's Icarus array knocks it out of the sky in a single shooting phase.
>He continues to advance, but due to placement of terrain he gets funneled into a kill zone where i pound him with all my shooty.
>Arc riffles and haywire grenades kill both his tanks
>i wipped out everything but the squad he left behind to hold an objective and his landraider which ran with a single hull point
>lost because he scored more victory points

On the one hand it's one of the best games i've ever played. On the other that defeat was irritating. Anyone got some good Admech reaction faces? I could use some.

"My Lord Grimnar, we were victorious against the technophile traitors!"
>Great work, Wolf Lord, but - where are your warriors, that I may commend them?
"All you see here, my lord."
>...this was a VICTORY you say?

we both remarked that it was very much a Pyrrhic victory, and that had the game been annihilation he would have been absolutely fucked.

>My Khornate Chaos Army vs Scars
>still new to it so generally get stomped on, this tight lane town map, Defilers can't do much.
>Kharn w/ Dirge Rhino charges Scar HQ squad w/ Chaplain & Captain, and challenge Champlain.
>He refuses
>Captain and Squad slaughtered
>Chaplain and squad wheel away, as Kharn gets 4 boons (2nd got the Multi-boon perk w/ gave another Multi-boon)
>Lost but enjoying the afterglow

>1k game of Bloodhost vs Skyhammer Annihilation
>He dumps his scattered forces right into mine
>They die by shear Number of bodies and attacks

...

...

All I got, hope they help

How about this image?

>Playing Guard vs Eldar in a 1000 point tournament game.
>Getting fucked by Battle Focus and Eldrad Psychic Bullshit, can't hit a Warp-damned thing.
>Chimeras manage to put the aliens on the back foot, but can't put a dent in Eldrad. Eldritch storms each turn wearing me down and I can't maintain the momentum. Still, my Valkyrie is coming in next turn and should turn things around.
>Valkyrie is hit by a lucky shot, forcing it to snap fire. On the ground, things look grim. Warlord dead, armor in flames, infantry decimated. Basically need warlord kill to win.
>Snap fire a lascannon at Eldrad, my opponent is already packing up.
>It's a six. Roll to wound.
>Barely make it with a 2. Eldrad has a 2+ save.
>It's a one.

And that's how I got my Flyer Ace Ribbon. Ave Imperitor.

My friend has a Chaos Warband we've dubbed "The Warp Touched" because his men always screw up in the silliest way. We have tons of stories of shenanigans.

>A pack of Plasma-wielding Chosen close in on a Guard Chimera that's foolishly left it's formation. It should be easy prey.
>With a chorus of maniacal laughter, the Chosen let fly with their plasma guns. Such weaponry will easily burn through the puny transport's side armor.
>Two of the guns explode in their user's hands, probably due to a millennia of neglect. The fools die laughing.
>One of the shots immobilizes the vehicle, but it's still a threat. It must be finished.
>The three survivors charge the machine. One of the powerfists should be enough to destroy the wounded beast.
>A skillful hit penetrates the rear armor easily. The Chosen only have a moment to relish in their victory before the transport explodes, killing two more of the Warp Touched instantly.
>The remaining warrior stands amidst the smoldering wreckage, regarding his surroundings. Surely he is blessed by the Chaos Gods, for the other weakli---

A split-firing guardsman killed him with a single shot the next turn.

Kek

huge apocalypse game, 5 or 6 players a side

>I have space marines in the midpoint of the table, protecting an objective
>opposite me is a green tide, 100+ orks
>my vanguard vets, chapter master and emperor's champion charge in.
>they're going to die, but they should take many orks with them.
>ork turn
>stompa on the left flank fires a giant missile thingy at some dark angels near it
>misses
>scatters a full 12"
>perfectly onto my unit
>suddenly only have a chapter master vs. 92 orks

>Eldrad has a +2 save
wot.
His Armour of last runes is a 3++, and Rune of the seer or warlock doesnt have anything to boost invul saves.

And by default farseers dont have any armour saves since its marked as null in the codex.

how'd he pull that off?

Lol thats fucking great

>Playing Tyranids (me) vs Necrons 750pts (4th edition back in the day)
>He goes first and begins his march, but can't hit anything due to blocked line of sight
>My turn
>Three Zoanthropes with Warp Blast; One destroys his monolith, second kills his lord (fails resurrect save), third destroys a blob of warriors (they fail too).
>Hive Tyrant warp blasts, destroys more Warriors
>Carnifexs uses devourers on Warriors, all hit all wound all fail to save and resurrect
>About to begin assault when he tells me his troops are phasing out due to casualties
>Won without a single casualty, luckiest rolling I've ever had
>Felt so bad because he'd spent so long painting his troops beautifully and I'd literally just finished assembling my army before the game

>ML4 Pyromancer Sorcerer corners opponent librarian in a building
>"Ahahahaha! The fires of the gods will take you!
>Perils. Kills self, but casts spell
>Completely misses
Damnit Nero

Scatterfield behind a 4+ barricade and GtG. Mysterious Objectives are bullshit.

>Militarum Tempestus vs Necrons
>Get turn one and move my boys up to start shooting the metal men.
>Fire the hot-shot lasguns/volley guns into two squads of warriors.
>Wipe out just enough in each squad to make break checks.
>"Alright, bro. Morale checks."
>"Tch. They're Necrons! Leadership 10. I can't fail!"
>Mfw he rolls 11 and then 12 and both units run right off the board.

Even SPESS MUREENS go full guardsman something.

they are fearless, they automatically pass morale tests

Happened today not three hours ago
> playing IG in a kill team tournament.
> One melta, chimera w/ AC and HF two snipers
> all im fighting are space marines
> in some balance of WAAC faggotry and ok dudes
> all of them are vastly underestimating me.
> Round one, BA. comes right up to my commander, just short of CQC. melta gunner standing next to him just fucking Blows the fuck out of the enemy commander, Rolled a five to hit and a six to wound. he failed his invuln save. mopped the board of his meager over kitted five marines and a rhino.

Round two.
Fighting against grey knights.
> Infiltrating Meltavet and his friends stuffed into a chimera are great.
> tuck the whole squad into an objective building.
> cover building with support team with the snipers,
> GK player does the same shit, tries to take my commander head on.
> Snipe the fucker turn four. 6 to hit, 5 to wound, and then just turned him to slag with the melta gun.
> he gets frustrated and just sits on the other objectives.
> Burn another GK with heavy flamer autocannon chimera
> he just blows it up and wipes out more than half my forces by doing so
> lose to being broken

Round Three.
Fighting Salamanders in a high ground game
> up to turn three he cant even see my units.
> they are all on the building.
> he tries to assault it
> gets in.
> melta guy just Slags the first marine through the door.
> shoot the rest to bits with rapid fire and luck.

round four.
Fighting white scars.
> enemy leader bikes on up to mine
> his melta compadre just walks up and blows him apart cos vehicles and melta are great.
> Lose the game on account of he managed to push me off the objective to win on the last turn

Fifth round was hillarious
Fighting Iron warriors.
> Infiltrate chimera outside a building. Park it inside.
> Dump infantry there and tuck them into all of the cover.
> Leave the Melta guy in a dark hard to see spot.
> he kinda blends in.
> continued.

> continuing.
> the iron warriors make a tonne of rapid fire shots on my guys in cover.
> they take out a few redshirts and then charge in.
> piling in on three guys tucked into a corner.
> they kinda pulp them for a while.
>chimera just sits there with front facing the largest concentration of bolters.
> enemy leader sneaks around the side.
> goes to power fist the chimera's exposed side.
> stuns the crew and forces me to miss my auto cannon shots and stop me from throwing promethium all over the place.
> chimera ignores him and sits.
> Commander is just sitting back and scratching his ass.
> distinguishable by his carrying a boltgun.
> enemy thinks he kills my leader when he kills a regular joe.
> say no and he gets sad. hits the chimera again and nearly wipes out the unit in the corner.
> my turn.
> One last guardsman in the corner, gets hit and soaks up the damage in CQC.
> he then gets to swing back.
> Roll a six to hit.
> Roll six to wound.
> he rolls a one to save.
> literally punched a space marine to death.
> chimera no longer stunned.
> set fire to all of the enemy marines.
> melta guy popped out of his spot right next to warlord.
> One shots him.

> one more
> snipers covering from a distance finally get a good spot. and they start harrassing the vehicle and one last marine who was left behind
> he evades all 13 of my men for two turns, and avoids breaking.
> the guy insists he has a chance.
> walk commander out and have him pump him full of bolts.

i got the feel to paint them up as Rhodesian infantry.
but stopped myself.

Your a retard and there's no proof any of this shit actually happened.
Go kill yourself.

This thread is funny stories, not stories of you rolling to hit with a meltagun.

Why you fucking lying?

Thanks for the shares user.

Don't listen to these idiots that can't determine which you're/your to use correctly

>Played a game on kill team
>GSC vs. Ultramarines
>Mysterious objectives were involved
>Ultramarine played got three of his guys blown up by a sabotaged objective, one being his leader
>Laughs were had

So are you saying that you named one of your specialists the Guerrilla Specialist for Infiltrate and used that to allow the Chimera and the entire team to begin in 4+ cover?

And you're calling other people's shit broken? That's cheese supreme user, and you should feel bad.

lol samefag.

Glory in sacrifice!

user, that Psyker was a fucking player character who, through the magic of player fuckery, infiltrated your game.

>tfw you realize your psychic powers in the middle of a battle

That art style looks familiar; source?

Prequel Adventure

...

All I got

...

>be me, working for GW, it was my first day and also today
>i start an introduction game with a new customer
>he chooses a tactical squad of marines ( 10 men), i take cultists with close combat weapons
>i go firsts and shoot at him with my pistols, rolling 10 hits, ten wounds and he fails all his armor saves
>mfw i wipe his whole squad in his first round ever

i felt kinda bad for him, so i decided to let him take an cover save aswell, which saved 5 of his guys

>playing grey knights against dark angels
>we have a huge rivalry after playing each other 3 times
>game is down to the wire by turn 5 and I really need to kill his warlord (belial) who has been running away all game
>psychic shriek him with one of my librarians
>get 3 wounds against him
>he fails all 3 of his 3+ stormshield saves
>opponent yells and curses so that everyone in the store can hear, even the front counter guy in the other room.
>immediately forfeits and whines about dice, his units, etc

>Playing IG against chaos marines
>Rolling heavy with 5 tanks and a couple vet squads
>chaos has a knight
>game commences, start trying to bring down the knight asap
>It stomps over a couple tanks while I slowly plink hull points off it
>halfway through the game, I have my tank commander and a punisher left. Chaos Knight is about to step on my commander.
>only unit that hasn't shot yet is half a squad of vets
>one meltagun
>hits and kills chaos knight
>thetideshaveturned.mp7
>proceed to wreck chaos shit, until his reserves roll
>Makes the roll and smiles fiendishly at me
>helldrake
>mfw no AA
cont'd

cont'd
>Helldrake decimates remaining vets
>open fire with my tank commander, sending a vanquisher shell, lascannon blast, and two multimelta shots flying into the stratosphere with clear misses
>helldrake maneuvers to attack my commander
>punisher has clear LoS to the rear armor of the helldrake
>snapfire sidesponson heavy bolters, hull mounted heavy botler, and punisher gatling cannon, unloading 29 S5 shots
>helldrake is quickly turned to swiss cheese
one of the funnest games I've played in a while. the chaos player later turned out to be a bit of a sore loser, but what are you gonna do?

>Playing IG versus Tau
>we both get our ass kicked equally
>round 6 or 7, i am down to a Manticore with no ammo left and he only has a single Riptide (?) or Ghostkeel left, i dont remember which one
>both our units are positioned less than 2 inches away from the edge and around 6 inch from each other
>my opponent offers me a draw, but i decline, i can still win this
>tankshock his Riptide off the map, making my tankshock more successful than the mantis shots combined
he wasnt even mad, just very surprised

Thats not how it works, thats not how any of that works.

You fucking cunt, giving the guard a bad name. Strip your models and play traitors, where shitters like you belong

whats wrong with what he wrote ?

Thanks anons, much appreciated.

More admech story time, though this one really isn't that impressive i still laugh my ass off.

>playing my Tau buddy
>Going through infiltration.
>infiltrate close to objective near middle of map.
>his turn to infiltrate
>Mfw he takes out a tape measure, makes sure he's within appropriate distance and promptly infiltrates right in front of my main army, and directly behind my infiltrators with Shadowsun.
>i think he was trying to take an objective or something
> Turn infiltrators around
>catch him in pincer
>unload every single gun in my army (i kid you not, every single gun) into Shadowsun
>Took every single gun too, but i killed it and its unit
>Mfw he just up and gives me first blood and slay the warlord and gets nothing for it.

He promptly realized i was in fact very shooty. And that he couldn't rely on his saves to protect him against firepower of that magnitude.