Fuck is a campaign?

So. Dnd 5e. About 5 sessions in. I dm.
Halp with story?
So far, the group has encountered:
An artifact of gr8 power, basically the mcguffin of this campaign
A half-elf (God rest his soul) who sent them with the artifact to le capital and le grand king
Bands of orcs trying to stop them
A wizard who constantly memes and seems like a cool dude
A tournament at another plane
A handcart of serene supreme essence
A goristro
A God of fate saying "ze world is gonna be maximum overfucked if you don't do the things
And gnomes on the roam who seem like gypsies.

This is, understandably, a complete mess. So, fa/tg/uys, how do I make this coherent?

>a complete mess
yes this whole post certainly is

...

Why?

no
>swedecuck
Still above average; the lazy syntax is a result of my local vernacular

You have come asking for help, throw a bunch of shit out, and expect someone else to do it for you.
No, scratch the whole thing.
You have shit, so flush it, start fresh.

Why is a god involved so early?
Why is the Holy MacGuffin involved so early?

Welp, the party needs to do well in the tournament because they need the other half of the macguffin because the god of fate told them to. Every other thing is just setting stuff.

>A handcart of serene supreme essence
What is this and why is it important.

I'd like to help you, but your writing style is very confusing, dear OP.

>mcguffin
They were contracted at, like, level 4 to escort it. They'd been in a couple fights, goblins and shit, a house fire... they were ready for an escort mission, according to me. (Also to move them from a little village of 250 ppl to the capital)
>gawd
They dicked around in the woods for a good half an hour, despite me saying numerous times that it's just an innocuous piece of forest. I know, railroading, but I simply couldn't think of something to throw at them that was interesting enough.
>tournament
Thanks m8, good idea.
>handcart
Well, that would be a lead-in. I read online about an idea for how to hide a good weapon in plain sight, so I gave them a handcart which (unbeknownst to them) contains a holy sword which only the wielder of the mcguffins can use.

Sorry my friend. English syntax is difficult for a person with my local slang.

I assume this is a wizards of the coast one, not a homemade?

Yee. Campaign is homebrew, artifact is homebrew, setting is semi-homebrew, but rules and gods are all vanilla.

Your "local slang" is 9gag, right?

Swedish. West-swedish to be precise. The only reason I speak in 40% stale memes is because that's (sadly enough) how corrupted my brain has become by not talking to normal people in like a year. The syntax issues, dropping half the linking words for example, results from our local vernacular doing precisely that. I'm trying to make my English seem more coherent and proper, but so long as all my friends put in zero effort in doing the same, this is the way my cadence and speaking style is.

>So, fa/tg/uys, how do I make this coherent?
i got you. so, listen, this is what you'll do:
the party acquires this magic ring, right?
and they learn that it is the ring of an ancient, powerful, evil being. and that if they don't destroy the ring in a volcano ASAP the world will come to an end.
but here's the clou: they have no chance to make it

this should put your campaign on the track it deserves

Wipe the slate clean. I got you.

Go back to school to learn English.

Kys

No, seriously. If you want to communicate in a coherent manner try writing structured and intelligible sentences.
You sound like a retard.

Foreshadow a big bad appearing a couple of times and then throw him at the players randomly during the tournament. Hell, have them all die in the fight against him, and have him steal the artifact. Use the god or a god to revive the players and inform them of who the bad guy is and what his plans might be. The players are now bound by their very souls to do the bidding of whatever supernatural force revived them. Your players now have an actual quest to do and they have a good reason to do it. Have fun

Why didn't you word it using actual English, which you actually seem to know, instead of typing like a complete retard.

How about you spend your Sunday rewriting your OP in readable English and posting it tomorrow morning, Swede-friend.

Nah, if you criticize him he'll want us to

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