Jumpchain CYOA Thread #1154: Jive Turkey Edition

Who this?

Dagda.

>Earth's everything
>Drop in fame and training perks
>Etna

Welp, time for me to die.

Ok, I laughed.

Who?

Are you doing a bit, or do you actually not get it? I've lost my ability to sense sincerity.

(Shadowrun) #102
-Race: Human (Free) -Keep the alt-forms down, keep it all coming. As tempting as it is to be a troll, no-can-do.
-Background: Tech Wiz (900CP) -Let's get this tech shenanigans STARTED. It will all be mine.
-Build/Repair (Free) -Build shit, repair shit, KEEP THE TRAIN GOING. Things will be spotless around me.
-Awakened (800CP) -Take the first step into a larger world. Learn the basics of magic for abuse later.
-Decker (650CP) (Discount) -Coding, technology, and the cyberworld. I'm going to make it my bitch.
-Rigger (500CP) (Discount) -Drones, vehicles, anything with a connection. They will be my wonderful minions.
-Sorcery (200CP) -Magic! Start out with some useful spells, stack it with Elder Scrolls and Negima Perks... we're bitchin'.
-Resonance (-100CP) (Discount) -The cyber world is mine. By this point I think, therefore it is.
-Inventor (-400CP) (Discount) -Coding, spells, my technology... I will innovate and create new functions.
-Contacts (Free) -A few minor contacts, they'll be enough to at least get me started on things.
-Apartment (Free) -It's a tiny little shithole, but I can use it as a way to get into the warehouse.
-Basic Weapon (Pistol) (Free) -A bit of back-up for if I need it. I shouldn't. But just in case.
-Armored Clothing (Free) -A little bit of protection for a shithole of a world. I like it.
-Meta Link: Farlight Caliban (Free) -I only work with the best.
-Renraku Tsurugi: Farlight Excalibur (-600CP) (Discounted) -Amazing computer, hoooo! Again, I only work with the best.
-MCT Fly-Spy (Free) -More toys! This will be a good thing for spying on people or watching my back or anything really.
-Spell Focus (Choker) (Free) -Detection-themed focus. I want to detect shit. A lot.
-Datajack (Free) -Sweet mercy I've got all kinds of holes in my head.
-Control Rig (Free) -Well, just shoot my brain up more why don't you?

(1/2)

What, is this guy just being "ironically racist" by doing a jump of what I can only assume is a blackface movie?

I can't think of anything witty about your choice of flatness so have this.

-Assassin's Creed (-500CP)
-Cortex Bomb (-300CP)
-Cut A Deal With A Dragon (Hestaby) (0CP)
Dice Rolls: Federal District of Columbia, 25 years old
-End Choice: Next Adventure

I FUCKED UP. THE UNDERESTIMATION OF THIS SITUATION HAS LED TO A BIG PREDICAMENT.

Imagine, if you would, waking up inside a very expensive and very luxurious mansion. Within this mansion is a large western-style dragon with rusty copper scales, staring down at you with an amused expression.

>"I remember your trials and tasks, little one... I remember your history in this world, but I know you are not a part of it deep down. This will change. A bargain has been struck, and the terms of your stay here are ultimately up to me."
>"Sit. We have much to discuss."

To make a long story short, she wants a new agent to assist her in caring for the world, in assisting with the trials and tribulations that Metahumanity has been burdened with. Technology and magics from beyond the known world makes such an agent a very prized being, and a cortex bomb was implanted to make sure no one else could steal away such a prize. So guess who has to run around doing wetwork duty for her and helping in the creation of new magics? Spoilers: It's me.

(2/3)

If you need to ask, he's doing a bit.
A really strong bit.

>Drop-in takes Why, Jumper, Why?
>Running gag of companions reminding you that you've never been to Vietnam

Also
>Smack Wiped Off the Streets
>Jumpers can now solve almost all their problems with enough violence

If you don't even know what the setting is then why are you commenting on it? It's certainly not Boondocks or anything, but it's not like it was made for racial propaganda.

Yet at the same time it was... interesting. Yes it fucking SUCKED needing to fight off Aztechnology and the crazy-ass bug spirits, yes it sucked needing to run around and prevent elder horrors from breaching the world and risking life and limb to pull off this shit. You can't imagine the amount of times I came back with missing robotic limbs or blood all over or needing to repair the RIG over and over. It was a nightmare.

But there was another side to things. She seemed to appreciate how much I paid attention to aesthetics and beauty. The various technologies she saw me using were of great interest, and many times it was trying to teach her how to create and how it all worked. More often than not I was asked to go along with her to meetings and parties as a 'bodyguard' just so she could impress others with how more of her life was capable of invoking awe. To prove she was capable of still impressing anyone around her.

Those moments made it... kind of fun. I liked the idea that a dragon was enamoured with what I could bring. It felt like having a good friend.

Even if that friend kept sending you into the deepest cesspools and shitpits to further her agenda and you couldn't say no because YOU HAD A FUCKING CORTEX BOMB IN YOUR SKULL.

It's a loving pastiche of blaxploitation movies made by black people you jive motherfuckerrrrrrr.

youtube.com/watch?v=f4kIaHc4tAs

See, the fact that you said "blackface" when all the people in the image at the top of the jump are clearly African-American is leading me to believe this is just a dumb bit you're doing. If that's the case, please stop. It's not particularly funny. If it isn't a bit, though, I recommend that you visit an optometrist, because that's a worrying level of vision impairment you have.

Did you inform your new employer about your dubious past as a member of the lapine race? I feel it's best to be upfront with your employer about things like this.

I gotta agree Digs
Except the Etna part, we'll have to agree to disagree on that part.

Titlet, Cowtits, who cares? I love tits of all sizes.

Actually, correction, there is one white guy in the upper left. But he's clearly not in blackface. Just thought I should address that before the other guy tries to pick holes using that.

God dammit cats, how Am I supposed to Afford an entire tree and these properties on top of the three amazing capstones?

Who would win in a fight between Blacula and Black Dracula?

I'M NOT TELLING A DRAGON ABOUT BEING A BUNNY. FUCK OFF.

People don't have to actually be in blackface for it to be blackface.

Is nigga synthesis involved?
youtube.com/watch?v=aKFZjZPxkys

Van Blacksing obviously

But you're FRIENDS! Friends SHARE! Sharing is CARING! And she already appreciates your attention to your appearance anyways, what's changing into a fluffy bun bun going to hurt~?

Yes they do. I believe you're getting "blackface" confused with "minstrelsy". All blackface is minstrelsy, but not all minstrelsy is blackface.

It will hurt everything. I would never be taken seriously again.

That is not how you spell Jefferson Twilight
youtube.com/watch?v=L-3YWDRPQQ4

I kind of want a boondocks jump now.

Now I'm imagining private Dragon/RedBunBun moments. Thanks.

I actually don't know 100% on Etna. On one hand, dat personality, on the other hand...gah. It's the same problem I have with Suzuka, though Suzuka at least has the excuse of those hips.

....Fair enough

I've wanted one for a long time, but I generally don't touch Western stuff.

Awake now.

Checking from last thread, too lazy to quote.

>Age
You are not the first person to bring that up. I'll change the Demon/Angel age range to match that later.

>Brawler
That's not a cap, it's an example.

>Everything else
I just spent the last week on this jump. Inane complaints and bait are on the bottom of my priority list right now.

If I missed something, I'll go over it later. I'll be correcting or errata'ing the jump before I start on Scenarios.

And I have the opposite problem. I don't really care that she's a loli, as long as she's mentally an adult it's fine with me, but her personality grates on my nerves.

...That was an awfully short nap Heavens. You might wana go back to sleep.

You more of a Fionne guy, Justice?

I was mostly saying flat as a joke and excuse to post that image. I seem to have come to a degree of miscommunication, oops. You do you

He's still young. Just wait another decade or two and he'll be wishing he had more time to sleep.

>POCs
SJW detected. How's about you not decide what's offensive to black people on their behalf, cracker?

werewolves in overlord don't have the weaknesses they normally have right? cause i use a silver sword

Yup. I've been told she is NOT in a romantic relationship with Laharl, which means she's free to waifu.

Remember that all problems can be solved by waifuing someone, there are no exceptions.

Young or not, according to what he's said, he's had next to no sleep over the past six days. That will fuck anyone up.

All silver does is make wounds that aren't healed by their healing factor, they aren't actively harmed by it.

If he's used to it, going for several days without sleep is perfectly fine. You just need to regulate energy use properly, and train to reach that point. The recovery phase afterwards is long, but you can press for weeks on less than 3 - 4 hours of sleep a day. This tends to happen a lot if you're working alternating shifts, or triple shifts.

I said 'minimal sleep', not 'no sleep'. I just went to bed around midnight-1AM my time and then slept til about 7-ish.

I haven't been doing much else with my day once I was awake, though. Sorry if I worried anyone.

She's way too naive to ever start a relationship herself, and Laharl is too awkward and busy lying to himself to ever try, so you're going on that front.

I did that in highschool and I'm STILL fucked up from it.

>I just went to bed around midnight-1AM my time and then slept til about 7-ish.
>6 to 7 hours is minimal sleep
>Not 5-6 as "normal"
Is this what it's like for non-insomniacs?

okay thanks now maybe you can help me with another question? would taking level 100 make it so I'm pretty much a god among men, or does it only apply to other MMOlite jumps

Eh, alright, whatever you guys say.

Good enough for me. I have rules about this sort of thing, I only bend/break them on special occasions.
Like Mizore, who was my first "waifu".

To be fair I sleep in incredibly cramped quarters and live with amazingly awful people. So I usually wake up in some sort of pain.

I've also been working on this jump for basically nonstop during all the time I was awake because DAMN IT I WOULD SLAY THIS FUCKING BEAST OR DIE TRYING.

Just need to do Scenarios and errata, then I am done.

...I might be a workaholic when it comes to fiction.

Overlord doesn't take place in cyberspace or anything, all of the perks are applied to your actual physical self.

How young are you? Also, are you a limey?

Nearing my mid-20s. So I'm fairly young. Not a limey, though. I'm a west coast yank.

I'm honestly not that bad in terms of sleep schedule, I'm just an unemployed moron with too much free time who tends to hyperfocus.

I wasn't trying to make light Heavens, it was a legitimate question. I've been sleeping 5-6 hours, and waking up several times during my "sleep", for over ten years now. I've honestly forgotten what it's like to consider 6-7 hours as "minimal sleep"

Another damn good jump, Cats... Here we go again.

Vietnam Vet [Free] ...Oh fuck. Damn you, discounts!
>perks:
Can You Dig It? [100] I dig this.
Gunplay [Free] Useful.
The Old Pie on the Window Sill Trick [300] Yesss.
Fiendish Dr. You [300] ...what.
Keeping the Girls Up in Kung Fu [100] Teaching's good.
Dynamite! Dynamite! [Free] Uh, okay?
Shake the Scene You Turkeys! [50] ...Might be useful?
Tom Slick Brother [400] Eh-hem, yes. This... is just to get more non-violent solutions to problems.
You’re Gonna Wake Up the Rest of the Bitches [400] ...No comment.
>items:
Smith & Wesson 629 [Free] Importing something for no recoil is pretty damn useful.
Wardrobe [50] Groovy.
Closed Sign [100] Oh, this is cool.
>drawbacks:
Kung Fu Treachery [+300] It's time to fight the good fight then.
Plenty of Cats Have That Name [+300] ...Wait, what?

...I have no clue what's going on, but it seems like one of the weirder earth-like worlds to go to.

Are you regulating your diet and getting enough exercise? Do you follow time regulation as far as lifestyle goes? Recovery needs to be extremely active in order to reset your lifestyle properly, to the point where it becomes a micromanagement thing. If you think that just letting your body "rest" is enough, it's going to take enough longer than usual.

I averaged about 3 hours a day of sleep during univ, and about the same during work. I've had about a year to rest after work gave me enough to live for the next decade, and honestly I have so much energy back that I'm pretty much ready to work again.

That's the broken sekirei right?

thanks for the help knowing that will make "fights" easier although I'll have to do something about that when I want a real fight

I got ya, I wasn't trying to make light of you trying to make light which you really weren't. I used to have to get up at ass-o-clock to work at both of my jobs, so I know your pain. I hope it isn't hurting you too badly. I mean that sincerely.

>Regulating my diet
Pff, no. I watch calories and do nothing else.

>Exercise
Enough to maintain weight.

>Time regulation
Only in the sense of attempting to sleep at the same time every day.

No, she's the Snow Woman(Yuki-Onna) from Rosario Vampire.
I have a thing for Ice-girls though if Akitsu, the broken sekirei, is anything to go by.

Did at first, started up 10 years ago when I was in my first year of High School. Little sleep and school is a bad combination. But I'm used to it by now. Little lethargic, but that's about it.

Yeah that's definitely not enough. Pretty much everybody at my workplace was regulating like a maniac (most of us worked 80+ hour weeks), and that was just so that we could break even as far as health was concerned. The older folks that left the place were still dropping dead like flies within a couple years.

>ass-o-clock to work at both of my jobs
Does this mean what I think it means?

Was Heavens a juggalo?

Well it's the most I can do. I'm not forcing myself to eat awful food to fit into a food pyramid and exercise is the most boring and hateful part of my life, so I'd rather not waste any more time on it than I have to.

No. I mean I had to get up at midnight to catch graveyard, then at around 5AM to arrive on time to my other job.

Dear god, no. I'm not THAT crazy.

>juggalo
I think you mean Gigolo
This is a Juggalo

>spoiler
Headcanon accepted.

Oh, fuck. Yes, that is what I meant.

>calling anyone sensible a Juggalo

Hot damn, I wasn't aware it was a roasting session.

Oh, fuck. Heavens, no! I didn't mean to imply you have shit taste.

Let me to commit Sudoku.

The moon crashings actually happened as a result of Heavens' ill-fated attempts to figure out how magnetism works.

Generic Stripping Jump when?

I'd say that's too lewd, but then we have Senran Kagura, Highschool DxD, and Saints Row. So, uh... go for it?

Couldn't you just use Grand Theft Auto

We already have a bayonetta jump though.

It doesn't provide any perks related to that particular profession, though.

Generic. Ain't nothin generic about her.

Why is everyone whispering?

Because most of them are prudish Americans.

Because I like whispering dirty things in your ear

Unwashed dishes, motor oil, under the couch, the bathroom

Stripping isn't something you need perks for. It's much more of a feat if you can be appealing as a stripper without perks than with perks.

Technically true.
But if having a perfect rack is great, having a doubly perfect rack is great...er?

It actually would be too lewd since your premise requires us to be a whore to do anything in the jump.

No, but conducting somewhat "shady" business and having ridiculous dexterity can be. as well as general maintenance of body stuff. I think the real draw would be the items section, to be honest.