ITT we trigger DMs part 2

Eh, sometimes a DM just wants to have a Dark Knight style bad guy who can stand toe-to-toe with 4 opponents at once. It's precisely this kind of foe that a grappler is most effective against because all that fancy armor, magic weapons, and spell slots means jack-shit with your arm pinned against your back.

>spell slots means jack-shit with your arm pinned against your back.
This is why still spell is so useful.

>my character is a vampire

...

I'll collapse the crypt. How much xp do I get for killing everything in the dungeon.

If you don't act out your diplomacy or intimidation, I will declare that you automatically fail. This isn't star trek, stop acting like you're a jedi.

And triggered.
>The party meets for the first time in a bright meadow. The roads you were traveling converge at a single point, but the sign post is fitted will unfamiliar names pointing every which way. None of you are quite sure which way the city you were headed for is, and as you approach the clearly tampered sign, it falls over. From the still damp grass where it's shadow once occupied, you hear a desperate screeching as some but creature of the night, exposed to the cleansing light, disintegrates, leaving only a small pile of ash.

>This isn't star trek, stop acting like you're a jedi.
>Star Trek
>Jedi
And now I'm triggered.

>apples
>oranges
Who gives a shit they're both Michael Bay movies now.

...

"OOOOHHHHH FORTUNNNNAAAAAAAA"
- Tchaikovsky's Night on Bare Mountain

...

I fucking love Salieri, bro!

This only triggers my biological impetus.

i like that porn

kickass.

Niggers should have -4 to INT score, it's closer to reality that way.

Okay fine but they get an extra 100 gold per day as a welfare check

"It's just like real life!"

>Character's backstory and/or in session "This is how I killed my enemy" fluff is max level difficulty in it's description
>They aren't even level 5

Not particularly sure how this is relevant, but I won't complain.

>Bard rolls to seduce everything.

Alright guys I got the character portrait for my paladin set.

If we're being realistic, give them bonuses to resisting diseases and healing.

It's weird that he's not wearing armor and that you dumped INT, WIS and CHA, but whatever man, we'll roll with it.

*throws this down*

"How much HP do you have?" "IT'S FINE!" "No really, how much damage did you take?" "NOTHING!"

Our entire group once demanded GM to change system from WFRP 2e to GURPS. He was SUPER mad mostly because he was a huge control freak and powergamer, and he was deathly afraid of a situation where players may know system better than him.

>not throwing down dicefield while ringing the bekar-button
X-cards are for casuals.

There's really only one thing that triggers me as a GM, and it's players acting like i'm gonna Gotcha them if they don't declare every single possible precaution every single minute.

Like, just play the fucking game guys. I'll give you a perception check to spot floor triggers if there's a fucking floor trigger to see.

Mostly I blame the shitty GMs who train them to do that, though.

>demanded

I'd be mad too, honestly. You don't make demands of the GM. Dude's taking time out of his day to put a game together for you fucks. If you don't like WFRP 2e, talk to him like a sane person and say 'we'd like to play X, we have sourcebooks you can borrow to study it.'

Minorities should get -4 to the relevant stat, otherwise the game doesn't model the systemic oppression they face properly.

Do white guys get -4 WIS or CHA?

White guys are normal, not minorities so they get no penalties.

Everybody gets -4 CHA because humans are fucking assholes.

Meh, my rationale for that is simply that they're either not identical to humans in reality, or magic has minor passive effects on all humanoids, compensating for the difficulty women experience building muscle and making men more handsome or something. It's not hard to come up with something to satisfy my autism.

>If tumblr is to be believed they get a bonus to starting wealth based on how many minorities in the area.

I have this one player who's characters always act like they're so fucking above whatever is going on in the game, like everything I do is a bore and an inconvenience instead of a threat or something to be taken seriously, and it drives me up the fucking wall.

Like, they're always "in-character" talking about how they've started droning out NPCs in their head while anyone talks about something important. Every time an enemy makes a display of power or I try to demonstrate someone poses a threat, their character always has some quip about how they're probably overcompensating for a small penis or how they probably got bullied in little wizard school or something. Every time characters start discussing, in-character, the way that plot-threads might tie together or who might be knowledgeable in the current quest's subject, they're always, without fail, on point with some comment about how they stopped paying attention to whatever was going on days ago.

In-character, of course. They assure me they're enjoying the game. They're just playing a character. It just so happens that their character is always someone who sets out to act like they're above being invested in fucking anything I present them.

It's driving me insane.

Real funny Labron, but we both know you don't build and run the modern age without maxed charisma and wisdom. Meanwhile most other races are busy killing each other en mass and Asians are just emulating us.

I attack the gazebo.

+2 to all attributes and start off with the noble background and receive it's perk (regardless if they are actually homeless or not). They can also never attain truesight unless they acknowledge this character privilege at any time in-game.

>look up what the fuck VTNL is
I feel like I want to play this game with tons of houserules, intentionally mismatched dice rolled on the table, and none of the other "required" gear, especially not that fucking bell, record the session, and send the author the video.

>-2 Str
Get the meme right at least.

Did that trigger you user?

>I'm gonna play as a fighter but I'll use frying pans instead of standard weapons

Fuck. This happened to me. TWICE.

>Star Trek
>Jedi
You did that on purpose, didn't you.

Depends on the circumstances, among friends...

This one is pretty uncommon, but the following would trigger my GM hard.
>"Dwarves are not the superior race"
>"I'm playing an elf"
>"Communism is a flawed and impractical system that can't work in the modern world, let alone a medieval society"

I am your GM.
Fuck you and your character is not escaping this temple alive.
Communism will win.

Yup

It already lost, user. Only thing left to do is burn the world, for an imperfect one is not worthy of being conquered.

I have an entire toolbox for players like that. My only real GM skill is making players care about npcs, places, plans, and i'm honestly salivating a little bit at the challenge you're describing.

"It's only a model"

...

Teach me your ways.

...

ok i'm triggered

Whats the name of 'my' character in your game? Because I doubt we even live in the same country.

My character is named Miles Long. His personal quest involves a cult dedicated to kidnap children.

I can't really describe how I do it. Sometimes it's by accident. The key is just to find the character's weak point, then tie that to an individual needing to be saved, then get the player to interact with that. Telling the player what the character is feeling in instances where it's obvious ([character name] you're in a lot of pain from that arrow through the gut, but you see [X Y Z] happening over in [Z Y A]), giving them spotlight time/opportunities for heroism every time they do anything that can lead to the thing you've primed for them to care about, throwing obstacles in their path that they can smash through, forcing them to choose between a group of things you've set up for them to care about so they end up caring about the thing they've chosen more, it all factors into it but I can't actually tell you the specific manner in which I do it because I don't really know myself.

But I had to see someone who had little interest in what was going on in this game I recently joined as a player, and it ate at me. I could see how to pull them in, it was right there, and I couldn't do it without undermining the GM. We had another session and they didn't show up.

>"Hey [character name], if you're so bored, why don't you fuck off and do something else? We're trying to save the world here, and if you don't think that's worth your precious time, then the door is right there. Either use it or shut the fuck up."

Give them penalties to any perception checks or reflex based checks to avoid danger.

They're not paying attention and find it all boring, of course they're not going to notice the trap that's coming.

What are his motives and goals? What god does he serve? What holy order is he a part of?

I don't give a shit what your character looks like. I want to know what drives them, so I can start planning the campaign.

Source on pic?

You don't understand the sweet schadenfreude/story-juice you can reap when you make the uncaring character care - it's a poorly used trope often in fiction because when it's used well it's dynamite. Ripping off that shell and seeing whatever that shell was hiding squirming underneath is glorious, and players have been exposed to that kind of story often enough to get swept up in it even if they were initially just trying to be 'cool' or whatever.

We've dealt with different types of players. That sort of response requires them to understand the characters they've made at meant to grow, whereas every player I've met who made the 'too cool for this shit' character didn't want or understand that, they just wanted to be the coolest person in the room.

I find GMing works best when there's a simple understanding between me and the players: We're all working together to make the story better. Someone who's spending their time deliberately trying to undermine the story generally doesn't understand that.

I had that happen once and it was fucking gloria

Waifus.

My party's barbarian is a bit like that. We all came in at lvl 3 and his back story consists of him captain of his own pirate ship before he was marooned after a great storm in a foreign shore. His old GM has spoiled him in the past so he NEVER veiws any of the enemies nor supernatural creatures as a threat, almost like he's on ambien. He enjoys fighting and takes a shine to soirit animals, but he is so goddamn passive about everything else. I'm honestly just waiting for the next time we fight things that can cast dominate so he can go down for once. Maybe he'll start to care once he has to make some death saves.

I'm not saying they remove the shell and find wibbly bits inside, i'm saying you do. It's not even necessarily something the player wants - but humans are nice and malleable that way. If you set things up non-obviously, they will often follow the path of least resistance.

That's some real classic meme right there

Why is that a trigger ?

>Poorfags don't belong at my table.

>Except if it's the sixth session of the game and it's obvious you still haven't read the book.

God dammit nothing gets me more pissed off than that. We've had this steady group of 3 people with myself GM'ing for over a year now. 2 of my players are great, they learn their characters will enough and sometimes things need to be clarified but whatever we figure it out and it's fine.

The last one has been really pissing me off lately. I mean really pissing me off. We used to play in person but when school started back up (due to location differences) we started playing online.

Well this fucking dickhead inherited a house (YES INHERITED, by the way he never throws fucking parties or invites anyone over - thought i'd mention that) and his "girlfriend" moved in. SHE IS A CUNT

Bosses him around and he's too much of a pussy to say anything. Now whenever he plays with us he's silent, dodgy, bizarre. Unreliable is the word really. He doesn't know any of his abilities will just randomly leave and come back, "Sorry guys my girlfriend had me get the mail." "Sorry guys my girlfriend wanted ice cream." "Sorry guys...."

It's gay. He's a good friend but I'm at my limit of patience and the other 2 players have threatened to leave if I don't do something. That's a fucked up place to put your GM. I'm trying to build something here and you're getting blown out by your girlfriend.

mind tracking down that sauce?

Don't even need to do that. Use mixed tactic enemies and you'll see the frustration mount.

Just ran my party through a gauntlet the other day and I have this one headstrong Monk who thinks he can solo everything by jumping on its back and hitting them that way.

It didn't quite work out this time. Leaped on an Ogre who wound up running back deeper into the cavern where this guerilla goblin army was engaging the party.

By the time the party got up to the Monk he was making death saves. The best part about it was nobody was mad at me because it was a fair encounter. In fact, the party was pissed at the Monk and they finally spoke up to his headstrong ways. All RP of course, no point in actually getting mad at each other over a fantasy game.

Lily Chen is my favorite investigator in Arkham Horror

>pdfs don't exist
>they also can't borrow the book if they don't own it
user, that was the weakest bait I have literally ever seen on Veeky Forums.

that does not trigger me much but probably only because my group are really into catgirls.

this seems like a perfectly logical progression

i dont see a problem here
if you can find a way to colapse the crypt to avoid having to fight everything do it.

depending on how easy it was to colapse i would probably give a little more or a little less then the worth of the monsters in xp

I feel the same way, it's fucking ridiculous when they don't know what their abilities do and the basic mechanics when we've been running for months.

>pdfs

im lucky enough to have never dealt with this but every time i hear about it it makes me rage

>"Okay user your turn, what do you do?"
> *user thumbs phone*
> "user? Hello? user. Okay, moving on."
30 seconds later
> "DM-kun, when's my turn? What, you skipped me? What the hell man?"

Excuse me faggot but it's taken me years to train everyone to not tap on keyboards or stare at a phone screen during the game, the last thing I want is you and your vagina bringing us back to those dark times.

Also

> All players work a 9-5 Monday through Friday or are unemployed
> Game time starts at 2pm Saturday
> The first person shows up at 3

*refers to your plot twist as a "retcon"*

When encountering a new monster, player looks it up in the monster manual

I just change all the stats and abilities around if they pull that shit

I've had this happen so often, even when I point out the foreshadowing, how it doesn't contradict established lore, and was a pivotal moment

I had a player a while back that was literally whipped by his girlfriend like that. She even told him that him playing 3 hours a week was too much, then he just happened to leave after that.

>"Is there a catfolk race?"

Yes.

>"I roll to seduce the innkeeper."

Okay, what did you get?

>*purrs*

That's...actually kind of impressive, I've never met someone who can actually purr in real life.

> He's a good friend

So get drunk with him and explain to him his girlfriend is acting like a bitch and he's acting like a pussy.