With Kenku being an official player race, I'm going to be making a dex fighter kenku who was raised as sort of a mascot of the city guard. As such, a lot of his speech patterns and dialogue is based on how guards talk and behave.
What are some cliche sayings and actions of fantasy city guards I can mimic?
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"Guess what? I banged lieutenant Firmtits behind the barracks last night! She was all like HRRRM... NGHHH... OOOOOOHHH... Shit was SO CASH"
STOP! You've violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit
I used to be an adventurer like you...
"Stop resisting, it'll go faster that way!" while beating the shit out of an unconscious enemy.
"Are we going for whisky and cigars tonight?"
"Of course."
Arrow to the knee
>Hook em and book em
>Get him out of my sight
>Nothing to see here move along
"If you throw one more rock I'll tell your father!"
I think it would be interesting if he quoted lines from guards who had to deal with annoying kids or drunkards.
If you wanted more cliche:
"No lollygagging"
Every day announce its your last day til retirement
Thats a good idea, just using quotes that really only work in their original context, maybe dropping a few random names
Lotta elder scrolls
If you see anyone riding a horse or driving a chariot, be sure to fine them for something you just made up a minute ago.
But make sure that they use the quote in relation to the emotion they are feeling. Like if they want someone to stop being annoying use that quote
When it comes to guard quotes, it's expected for elder scrolls to come up a lot.
GUARDS is filmed on location with the men and crow-men of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law
I really like the idea of KenkuCop, SCRAW Enforcement Officer
"What was that? Sounded like a, a sound of some kind."
"Ha! That'll learn ya, 'cept you're dead."
"One day i'll write a book about me 'A Guards Life'."
Closing time! The shops are now closed
MIDNIGHT AND ALL'S WELL
Every now and then hint that some members of the guard didnt like keeping you around
EG When the party splits up or something
"Leave the bloody bird behind, this is a serious mission"
Also the captcha is getting fucking ridiculous, just took me eight tries get fucking storefronts and streetsigns
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Make it whenever he sees a crime, make him use ridiculous reasoning about how it's not a crime, like he was wandering around with the worst guard ever.
" Looks like it could be a burglary, or it could be some fellows moving valuable objects in the middle of the night, using the window so as not to inconvenience their neighbors with the sound of slamming doors. Nothing criminal about that.
"You 'bout to get fucked by the long cloaca of the CAW."
Indeed I believe so
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Waka Waka
>The rapier, the most powerful sword in the world.
>You feelin' lucky, punk?
>I AM THE LAW!
>Dead or alive, you're coming with me!
>I can't wait to retire...
>Stop! You've violated the Law!
>Stop! In the name of the Law!
>No lollygagging.
>Need someone 'ta watch ya' back?
You, you.
Me, me.
Give me, hands.
You, violate, law.
rrrrRRRRRRRAWKkkkk
I am the CAAAW!
I's not gonn be as smart in da 'eat anymores
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These pix need to be embiggened.