You find the following enchanted object

You find the following enchanted object

neat, i sell it in an attempt to save towards an item that i actually want

It keeps your clothes neat and without wrinkles. Just ignore the moans.

I first take it into town and find a wizard of some sort to identify its magical enchantments and sell it for tons of money towards what I really want, unless of course said object did have some use.

As you turn around, a mysterious merchant offers to trade you OP's object for the object pictured

The mysterious merchant tells you that placing a stick of suitable diameter into the "rear" and turning the crank will cause the stick to become a suitable tool for writing or marking.

This will greatly enhance my ABSjurer abilities.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

I punch the GM in the nuts

You roll so well that you accidentally punch yourself in the nuts and instantly die from the pain!

I actually had a GM who railroaded with bullshit like that quite often.
He killed himself.

Oh neat. I'm sure this Totem of Yoga Flexibility will give me a bonus on Escape Artist or Acrobatics checks or something.

You happen upon the following enchanted tome

You come across the following the following meme in a dead hobgoblin's My Pictures folder.

I like the idea of objects from the "real world" as enchanted or cursed items.

The ero-rpg Rance has many such items. Example: The best ninja dagger in the world is merely a kitchen knife from our reality.

Wanna swap for a golden magical crotch dispenser?

Go watch the Lego Movie.

Like, now.

Goddamnit Abdul...

Seems better than the cursed one I have. My jaws hurt so much.

What is it supposed to depict?

neat

how

ODed and drove his car off of a mountain

discovered something about hillary

that isnt really suicide

Nobody said suicide.

"he killed himself" implied it.

Would you have really felt better if he'd said, "Gravity killed him."

yes actually

Jack Daniel, Alexander Flemming and Isaac Newton killed him. Henry Ford was held as an accomplice but later released

...

I find out what it does and then if I cant find a good use for it I chuck it for gold.