An elf has taken up residence in your tree

This, plus:
I invite her inside.

It's about to be winter soon, and it gets rather cold in the mountains.

>a faggot has taken up residence on your imageboard

>inviting a filthy subhuman into your home
user please

Daily reminder this is the quality content Veeky Forums was promised to gain by sending quests on separate board.

I have no idea where this meme comes from. Butthurtness? Over what?

I think this thread was created the first time as quests were still around.

Should I put a scare-crow? I mean those are cherries and I've already have to deal with starlings each fruiting season.

user, you're the kind of faggot that'd end up pissing off a witch and end up cursed.

But quests were keeping those threads on the bottom. Now everyone is triggered and this shit is afloat by sheer ineptitude of Veeky Forums or Veeky Forums in general to deal with unwanted threads.

Hire the elf as a bird swatter.

And then complain and blame it all on the witch, don't forget about that part

>inviting a literal embodiment of nature inside
This is how you get an overgrown house. Leave her be, she'll just change into her winter form when winter comes.

Depending on how much cherries the elf will eat, I might end up worse than with just birds.

filthy elf lovers detected

Just answer my question. Where did the bad elf touch you?

>Lolis have taken up residence at the base of your tree

>People have different sexual preferences
What next? Heteronormative crusade?

Pay her with bread.

Yes, and the point is this thread was not deleted the first time.
So if it's deleted now, and I get banned for "off topic", that proves the mod hates me.
Two people make the exact same thread, either they're both breaking a rule or neither is.

nowhere
that would be heresy
bestiality is still illegal

What happend to the fucking fence? I mean it's almost 3 meters high. From where I do get this infestation?

>bestiality is still illegal
Come on, you are not that below an elf.

I Lure her Down with some fruits and Berries. Then I set about checking her collar for any signs of identification or ownership. Some Poor little Kid must be Bawlin their Eye out right now because they their little Mitzy hasn't come home yet.

After that, it's probably return her to her owners if she has any, or take her to Shelter if I can't find 'em.

>Bestiality
>Illegal

canadians aren't people
considering they live in trees like the animals they are i would say yes, i'm technically below them

>So if it's deleted now, and I get banned for "off topic", that proves the mod hates me
It could just mean that your thread is off-topic.

That's not what the ruling meant and you know it

>implying all elves live in trees
>implying you can't build awesome houses on or inside trees
>implying the mudhuts humans dwell in, living with their animals, are barely better
>implying an elf isn't still healthier than you, lives longer, looks better, is probably smarter than you
Why are they subhuman again? You are rather a sub-elf.

That's exactly what the ruling meant and you know it

This didn't get fucking Governor General's Award out of the blue in the middle of fucking 70s.

You do what every good citizen would do.

You walk up to him/her, hands raised as a sign of good peace, and ask them kindly why they have taken up residence in what you feel is your property.
In the meantime your spouse, or family members, or whatever you fuckers live with, are rousing up the local peasantry and selling them pitchforks and torches at a premium price.

So you end up earning a tidy profit, AND being the town's hero for helping it get rid of another disgusting non-human beast.

>implying an elf isn't still healthier than you, lives longer, looks better, is probably smarter than you
is that why they're living in my fucking tree instead of building a house like all civilized peoples do
even orcs know how to build a goddamn house, stop excusing subhumans just because you want to fuck them

I think elves in general live in houses too.

you think wrong

A giant beaver has taken up residence next to your house.

THEN WHY IS ONE OF THESE FUCKERS IN MY APPLE-TREE!?

Damn hobo-elves gotta stop smoking crack and saying they're high elves.

This thread has too many Canadians

>THEN WHY IS ONE OF THESE FUCKERS IN MY APPLE-TREE!?
To laugh at you.

Cite me some source.

Damn elves, taunting me for not being as light on my feet and pretty as they are...
I'll.... I'll show 'em! I'll make a humanity fuck yeah thread, and feel b-better about... about myself.

-Uncontrolled sobbing.-

We shall make the greatest of dams, small furry creature.

A giant mantis shrimp has taken up residence in your duck pond.

Found the Tir Internet Defense Force poster

ain't my duck pond no more

at least my garden is still safe

I'm sorry you feel that way.

That is no loli!
Look at the ears those are beasts, run fast before they eat you.

>10 copper shillings have been deposited into your treasury

you do everyone proud

Nope. Treant.

Did my home become a fantasy land portal? Can I profit out of it? Can I use the beast lolis as maids and the elf as a greeter, the beaver as a pet and the shrinp as th horse for fantasy ride?

i'm moving to the city, fuck this

attempt to befriend the Giant Mantis Shrimp. Give it protein shakes, marathon the Rocky series, perhaps eventually have him as my bodyguard

If that fails, my head would have exploded from the force of his first punch, so it's a win-win scenario here

Can I lure it into a giant pot?

I admire my new Giant mantis shrimp pond from a safe distance.

The ducks were faggots anyways.

Try to get it as a work-out buddy. Outlift him, watch him have his first giant newbie gains, watch him grow from brotege into a real swole-beast-bro.

Then suck his dick, as to steal his protein.
Don't want him to outgrow you, right, user?

>A (vampire)bat has taken up residence in your belfry.

>using an anime image

>Can I profit from it
No, it's like that cartoon with the frog that sings and dances, it just doesn't work if you try to make money.

>Can I do other things
Probably.

>Don't suck my blood and don't store your prey in my house, and we'll be fine.

But this is an anime website...

Not anymore it's not. :^)

Roll to light tree ablaze

sorry, no lesbians allowed in the belfry, old family tradition
get out

>A fa/tg/uy has taken up residence in your basement

>befriend the Giant Mantis Shrimp
not happening
youtube.com/watch?v=F5FEj9U-CJM

>An ancient evil has taken up residence in your bed

The frog only doesn't work when others need to see it. As long as you keep it for yourself, everything is golden.

I chop down the elf and rape the tree.

allow it to sleep

WAKE IT UP

>INSIDE

Okay so hold on.

We have

>elf in tree

>lolis at base of tree

>giant beaver next to house

>giant mantis shrimp in duck pond

>vampire in belfry

>fa/tg/uy in basement

>and an ancient evil bird in bed

Im calling it. A wizard lives here. In fact this is a wizards tower. And I am including this place in my next adventure. Now I just need to figure out why they are all here and map it out.

Charge her an extortionate rent with the clause that she can pay in 'labour' and threaten her with lynching if she doesn't comply or leave.

It wasn't off topic the first time. If it was, it would have been deleted.
boards.fireden.net/tg/thread/49181413/#49181413

Sung to the tune of the twelve days of Christmas

An ancient evil awakens in your bed, and it is not happy.

>Now I just need to figure out why they are all here
You already answered your own question:
>this is a wizards tower

I've never seen one before, but I think it's a wizards tower. A muggles pit sucks magic out of the universe, while a wizards tower spits it back into the universe.

>An Elf, two lolis, a Druid morphed into a beaver, a Mantis Shrimp person, a vampire and a nerd have all joined forces to ensure that the ancient evil bird sleeps peacefully in the wizard's tower.

It could also mean mods being incredible fickle. I can think of other threads this kind that could have stayed up.

"You don't have to come out of the tree, but you do have to eat this."
>hand her a bowl of eggs.

>FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL

I take up residence in an adjacent tree.
[Spoiler] see how she likes it [/spoiler]

No no, the wizard is in our kitchen.

...does he at least magic up good breakfast?

Invite her in for dinner!

Chase them away before I get put on a fucking list and an overbearing stupid hamplanet cunt tries to make me out to be a pedophile and ruins my life with the mere accusation!

Offer them breadcrumbs!

Engage them in friendly conversation!

Tuck it in!

She gives me a share of her cookies as rent and we won't have a problem.

Sup roomie, as long as you keep clean, and for rent and food every so often, and don't destroy shit, then whatever.

Honestly this is actually the most normal thing yet. I've got some Elf chick who refuses to get down from my tree in the back yard. The bitch keeps pelting me with acorns whenever I go outside. And she's got this really creepy little girl sitting the at base of the tree, so I can't even climb up and bring her down. Seriously this girl is horrifying, she just sits there, all day, all night giving me this creepy wide eyed stare and asks if I want to play with her! Fuck. That. Noise.

And then there's this fuckin Huge man in some weird lookin' lookin Armor, I think it's some sort of cosplay thing but hey, my Backyard is becoming a fucking madhouse so who Knows?! Maybe he really is some sort of Space Ranger or Whatever! Anyways this guy, and his fucking pet Beaver, are building a giant ass dam out a freaking sticks and logs through my back yard! Their's not even a river in my back yard but that hasn't stopped them, noooooo! Seriously, if it wasn't for the Giant Mantis Shrimp by the duck pond-oh by the way, Stay AWAY from the duck pond-I would have burned the shit down!

Oh and also there's an old Church deeper in the woods. Don't go in. There's some Vampire chick in there who tried to fuckin suck my blood. And before you ask, Yes she is freaking smokin, but she's a dyke so unless you can transform into a hot chick, that ain't goin nowhere.

Underrated post.

Sounds like an idea for some crazy-ass internet comics.

He only does bowls of eggs.

Clearly you should have hired Fencecroat.