Post only the worst and more obnoxious Magic Cards. The ones that fail to provide playability, flavor...

>spot the Timmy

>normies think you can learn to be intelligent

You literally can. Some might be better than others but the more you learn the more intelligent you become.

Now fuck off back to

>The only effective way to beat Kalitas is to run removal
>which every deck should run as a matter of standard practice anyway

I don't see the problem.

>Always Food Chain
>Always Purphuros

Because thinking is overrated in EDH anyway. It's not like I play this format for cool complex plays, nope, I like seeing people drop a 2 card combo, one of the pieces always being accessible. Sharuum is more interactive than this shit.

Such a waste of the art. People were hyped for that angel.

taking the bait...

>no lands
The mana system in Magic provides for great deckbuilding opportunities, there's lots of lands that do interesting or exciting things, and you can even play decks that don't run lands (or very few). Mana denial is an actual strategy.

Mana screw does suck, granted, but it's a hell of a lot better than "lol my curve is so hard"

>fatigue system and deck size
Decking provides a very interesting dimension and an alternative means to victory. I've had plenty of control matchups where the correct play was to make your opponent draw cards so they decks before you did, and everyone loves mill decks.

>balance
Your game is balanced around RNG. A shit player can still beat a skilled player, hell, bots have been able to get to the top ranks. That shit would never happen with Magic, good players will almost always beat shitters.

>an actually good online client
K you can't win them all.

Conclusion: hearthstone is fine, but gtfo with this weak ass shit.

If they dropped the cost for the cleric to turn back into her she'd have been pretty damn cool.

No.

The more you learn the more educated you become. Intelligence is inherent, wisdom is not.

This fucker this here. And all of it's affiliates.

Where do I begin

Wew I love that guy.

With an explanation

I fucking hate the flavor text. Blue magic, if dickish, is fine. It's been a part of magic since it's inception.

But I will never get over the emo fuck and how utterly uninteresting he is. Nothing about his character makes sense, and I go into an autistic rage every time I see them pushing this fucker. I have never, in all my time of work shopping and running tournaments in 3 states and dozens of shops, ever ran into someone who unironically liked him.

Don't know why but I've always had an irrational hatred of this card.

fuck you m8, doubling fish is great

why does it boost your opponents creatures too? It says ALL creatures, not just your own. You're paying 10 mana across 2 or 3 turns, would it kill them to just let all your guys get +2/+2 for that kind of mana investment?

They fucked the cow on this one. Weird art, terrible abilities, all on a card called TIME ELEMENTAL.

With a name like time elemental it should be a lot cooler. And what's with that weird drawback for trying to use it to chump-block?

gotta forgive them, it were the earliest days of magic, and they had no idea what their game did at that point.

Though I must agree time elemental is a potentially great name for awesome and weird shenanigans. Such a wasted opportunity.

Should have Doubled all Counters on all Permanents, so you have to decide if it's worth it to double all your Counters when your opponent can benefit too.

By the time you're at 7 Mana your opponent probably only has 1 or 2 cards left in hand. Looks cool on paper but is useless in practice.

Holy fucking shit kill yourself you entitled EDH cancer

Read the Eldritch Moon E-Book. It makes cloak boy more tolerable.

It's not anything to do with the card mechanically so much as it has to do with a complete favor fail.

Ludevic is a man who made a werewolf cyborg. His solution to torch and pitchfork wielding mobs was to make a monster that eats torch and pitchfork wielding mobs. On a plane full of mad scientists he is The Mad Scientist.

So they made him some boring card draw guy. They really completely fucked up.

I bet you're the same type of person who bitches at MaRo for not psychically inferring exactly what you meant when you said you wanted a werewolf legend

What really pisses me off is names. There's a fucking thousand Magic cards where they take a great flavorful name and waste it on a card whose effect has no flavor whatsoever, and sometimes isn't even playable.

I can't think of an example on the spot because these make me so mad that I actively try to block them from my mind, but there's been shitloads.

The ones that annoy me the most are strictly inferior versions of cards that were already low-powered. Like this pile of shit here. Was Air Elemental really so OP that we needed a nerfed version?

Ulrich was a pretty big fuck up. He's a pretty boring big beasty, absolutely nothing about his design that is really worthy of being legendary. He's barely playable in limited, worthless in constructed. It was a failure on the team's fault.

What I won't blame MaRo for is not doing a UR Legendary Artificer. Cause that's not something I saw any demand for until Kaladesh was already announced.

>Barely playable in limited
Opinion discarded

In limited? Yes. Siren was damn good and possibly first-pick quality

I don't see why people are mad about Ulrich being a boring dumb pile of Timmy jank. Almost all werewolves are like that, he fits right in. Ideally they could have given him some cool ability that interacts with the transformation mechanic of all werewolves so that he's fit as a werewolf lord, but I'm not getting mad that they didn't.

In Ludevic's case though, people are rightfully upset. WotC took one of the coolest characters they had that wasn't yet turned into a card, and made him an extremely boring draw-dude with no flavor whatsoever. They could have made him a Gray Ogre and it wouldn't have been more underwhelming.

I think a lot of these boring, underwhelming cards are a result of "design by committee" and excessive theoretical testing.

>5 mana 1/1 when played on an empty board
>worthless if opponent has any random 1/1 lying around
>absolute best case scenario is a 4/4 for 5
>first pick quality

In what fucking format? Homelands Draft?

They should have at least made it gain four counters instead of three. That way its theoretical best scenario would at least be worth its mana cost. Either that, or worded it in such a way that if an opponent has a creature, he can't choose to just keep it.

I'm only mad that it wasn't green, or at least UG. Doubling counters is primarily a green effect.

They're a result of wanting to make a card without really having an idea for a card, so they just slap together stock mechanics and tweak the numbers a bit and call it a day. All the best designed cards in the game are ones where they had an idea for what the card IS and then just designed mechanics to represent that later.

You target the creature wit hthe ability, your opponent doesn't get to pick which creature they give you

My problem with Ulrich is that he doesn't interact with the tribe in any way. I guess besides being unable to fight them when he transforms. The exact same ability could have been on a non-legendary. Playing him in a Werewolf deck doesn't give him any advantage, or give the other Werewolves any advantage. He's just boring.

Not anywhere near as bad as Ludevic, but still.

Same problem applies. If your opponent(s) have nothing worth stealing then even if they don't play Tribute it's not a huge loss.

>You target the creature wit hthe ability, your opponent doesn't get to pick which creature they give you

The ability will never trigger if the creature is any good, because opponent will just choose to let you have an Air Elemental instead. Which you paid full price for.

The Siren is shit for all the same reasons the Odyssey block "punisher" cards were shit: the opponent is free to pick whatever option is the worst for you, so its only worth playing if ALL the options are unfairly priced. Instead both sides of it are basically just okay cards that are decent in limited and total shit in constructed, and when you get the worst of barely okay options you get something _really_ bad.

what's the deal with this bitch?

She's like a red abyssal prosecutor.

Fucking kys m8 i run one in every commander deck I can.
It's random, but it's the fun kind of random where it might kill a small creature that an opponent didn't really expect to live anyway, it might hit face, or it might hit a creature with 3+ toughness, letting you play intelligently to take advantage of that 2 damage.
Or it might hit you. Or itself. You ran it, you take it. But it will always be more proportionately detrimental to the player running it than anyone else, but it still doesn't do much to disrupt the game. It's a fun little card that rolls dice.
I mostly have tonnes of nostalgia for it, I got into magic in DMZ

kek

Standard removal being shit is most of the problem.

The worst thing about Kalitas is that the only deck that can run him and thus the only good graveyard hate in standard is also the deck you want to run it against. GB Delirium.

>Fire elemental is made of fire
>Water elemental is made of water
>Earth elemental is made of earth
>etc
>Time Elemental is made of clocks

Love this card due to it being a draft all-star. Killed 2 of my opponents creatures and dealt them 4

My opponent was the one who controlled it.

Its true form is incomprehensible to mortals and thus they see it as what they consider to be a being made of literal time. If we measured time with colors, it would be made of glowing nixie tubes

She's suppose to be the final push to kill the opponent before they have a chance to benefit from her ability. A 4 power haste-y flyer is pretty good, and she's got a fat enough ass to survive anything less than 5 power.

Failed to provide:
>Playability
Check
>Flavor
Check
>Interesting Mechanics
It's an objectively terrible R/W commander, so check
>Made people disappointed it wasn't Feather
Checkerino

Looks like a winner to me, Alex

just got this from booster, should i sell it now or later?

Now probably. While he's also played in Modern the big demand is in Standard for BG Delirium I believe.

Sell now, pick him up when he rotates. Unless you want to play him (since he's awesome).

failed in every single way

I still have no idea what they were thinking with that one.

>5c cards are already useless outside EDH
>6 mana 8/8 haste barely worth playing as is
>let's give it the drawback that everybody gets to use it
>doesn't have flying even though it's clearly flying in the picture

She's a combination of the traits of 5 mono colored characters, so that's why she's 5 colored

Eeh, she's more floating than flying, doesn't mean she can actually manage to get over other creatures.

Also, that was a tribal block that encouraged multi-color, and was the block that slivers came back.
I've seen her in a few sliver decks at the time, and she always won the game on the turn she came out.

Maybe in commander after your opponent does a Shamanic Revelation, Blue Sun's, or some other stupid huge draw spell.

Still a very niche card and only rarely worth it

was so hyped for this only to be disappointed more than i could possible

If your opponent is playing a deck with blue and they're hoarding hand cards, (assuming you don't get counterspelled) you will kick them in the teeth for this. Especially in black, which is one of the colors that has some ways to suddenly obtain more mana.

The original design, if I'm remembering right, made you skip your combat ,tapped all your creatures, and had them hit you equal to their power. It still had the "drawback" of going to your opponent every turn. The idea was you put it out on your second main phase after you attack and then your opponent gets, where all their creatures rise up and turn against him.

The reason they switched it t this piece of shit was that it was printed in a block all about creature tribe armies, and this would've hosed them, so instead they changed it to work with the tribal theme, but kept the drawback and ridiculous cost intact for some reason.

It may not be amazing, but it does look like other recent examples of RW legendaries. Or in this case, just Tajic.

Man, what I wouldn't give...

>Assuming they don't counter it
If they're playing blue and have 4 or more cards in hand one of them is probably a counter, though...

Here's the real question, though. Would you ever realistically put this in any deck when stuff like Persecute exists?

Then it's just a 7-mana card that makes them discard a counterspell and tap 2 lands.

Can't spell Narset without arse.

>Intelligence is inherent
partially. You become better at certain ways of reasoning (like math) with practice. Plateaus are inherent and different for everyone, but you're probably preforming below your peak.

>BG is my favorite color combination
>Theros block had a lot of cool gorgon and snake stuff
>Saw her gorgeous art
>It turned out to be shit
I got one in a draft and she won me every game I saw her in, but really any god really would have. She'd be fine if she always gave you the snake, but as is is just disappointing.

>it wasn't Feather
This shit right here. You got a whole stash of old legendaries that you never made cards for, and instead of cashing in the nostalgia you decide to go for more "literally who"s. At least we got glorious Sidar in the last commander, although he isn't really anything to write home about.

She's my commander in EDH...

>it wasn't Feather
>Made people disappointed it wasn't Feather
Might have been a bottom-up card design that didn't fit Feather.

Boy, if only they had thought of that with Ludevic.

Alternatively she could be used as the agitator in a mirror strike deck. Play a lot of forced attack abilities combined with cards that bounce damage back to your opponents.

Of course, I can see several ways that deck would fail right off the bat.

That's pretty much why people dislike him, he's boring and doesn't do anything particularly good for your other werewolves. Really he should have made werewolves lose their spell transform and given them a mana related transform so you could fine tune when they flipped, as it is he's a worse commander than if they'd just printed a legendary Huntsmaster.

I think the reason it pissed peopple off so much though is that MaRo was under the impression people would love it and that it was awesome, which it blatantly wasn't and this was coming on the heels of OGW being terrible.

Still the worst card I can think of.

I'm with you on this. And what's even worse(atleast for me) is that her abilities have nothing to do with her flavor unlike majority of the Gods

sigh

Because it doesn't have haste

Hilariously awesome card in a Flicker based EDH deck. Nothing quite like asking another player if you can steal some other dude's creature.

>double kek

I feel your pain user.

Exactly. I would never run it, but it could be useful once in a few years

>all this blue

Hmmm... wonder why

...

why was this printed?

WotC REALLY wanted populate in Standard

>play this with doubling season and a bunch of planeswalkers
wew lad

It's a card that is no fucking fun to play against, that's for damn sure.
G/W has ruled the standard meta for a long time now, Theros let it take a vacation.

Get fucked, thief of blood is fucking great.
I drink deep of the tears of Atraxa faggots with her.

Dude, think of it like as the token it makes, possibly more of them

The flavor is fucking sweet.
But she costs too much. I know she's costed for multiplayer (I assume she hasn't been printed elsewhere, because I've never seen the card before) but 6 mana is a lot for decks that don't have combos to make all the mana they could ever want.