MTG Beefcakes Thread

Post your favorite Fatties. After all, who doesn't love a card that's a little on the HUEG side? Any color, just so long as it's Large and in Charge.

if you abuse persist this guy gets pretty vulgar

Here's the biggest Fatty no one ever gets to play.

the only way to play this fag is to cheat it into play or by using mass polymorph deck with 4 awakening zones, coat of arms, doubling season and a bunch of other eldrazi spawning cards

Love this guy.

...

...

...

>No one ever gets to play
>Laughing_legacay_players.png

The mythic uncommon, the viceroy of value, the meme that every Conspiracy drafter knows and loves.

My fave.

CRATERHOOF OP

Any old WOTC Forum people remember the guy, name of Omone something, that dragged out a thread for pages arguing that Akroma was the objectively best card ever printed?

Wish I could find a link, but those forums have been memory-holed like 6 times since then.

...

Wrong language, I just thought that name is hilarious.

I have her a commander in one of my decks. People have stripped my hand, my deck, destroying everything I cast and she still charges to victory - even after I've cast her for cmc 16.

I don't know if Akroma is *the* best, but she is very, very good.

a classic

>what is tron
>what is show and tell
>what is channel

Avacyn is here to shield you and your entire board state.
Pretty much the entire game becomes centered around her once she falls like a meteor onto the battlefield.

I love this card, but I rarely have her stick a trip around the board. Always goes down to a Swords to Plowshares or Path to Exile.

The cumulative cost to play a decent Eldrazi deck far outweighs my interest in Magic as a whole.

...

>six for a 5/5 with protection
I thought old cards were supposed to all be trash or broken except for Giant Growth, GriZly Bears, Llanowar Elves, and Giant Spidee

Gruxis has the silliest fatties. Was a tie between this guy, Prince of Thralls, and OG Nicol Bolas.

There were some perfectly serviceable creatures back in the day that ruled the meta.
People just remember things like combo winter more vividly because they're bullshit.

She counts, right, guys?

I played Molimo into Wild Pair while on 13 Forests once.

I was pretty happy with that.

Actually, that is up for debate. What defines a Fatty? Most agree that it's 5 or greater in base power and toughness, while others say power should be the only requirement. Does a creature with the inherent potential to become Fat count as such, or must fatness be apparent from the outlook?

Read that as jizzim Demon

>Genie that costs way too much for the supposed weight it carries and a detrimental cost.

Nope. Jizzim Djinn works. Confirmed Neckbeard living in your basement and costing you more than he's worth.

Isn't she a 2/2 if you have no creatures?

I don't think he meant that as an insult so much as self deprecation

>>no other creatures

My bae

Cheap, versatile AND huge fatties give me wood.

Here's a match for it.

Can you imagine a Magic movie with these two ducking it out? Directed by Guillermo del Toro.

Ooops, forgot the card I was meant to post.

Arc slogger is my spirit animal.

This is beautiful, I'm in love.

She's a good big beatstick, and was probably the best of those in the game when she was printed. Nowadays, though, we have Griselbrand, Blightsteel, and two sets of Eldrazi Titans. And comparing her to the power level of things like Ancestral Recall, Force of Will, Necropotence, Yawgmoth's Will, Tinker, etc. is no contest.

You forgot the one that everyone forgets.

If this is not a fatty when you play it, you're doing something very wrong

Rev up that breeding pit, the giant bunny hungers.

Old cards were pretty great at times.

in your honest opinion

Eh, some say OP, I say Win-condition.

Well, it doesn't help that pic and other cards like Tempting Wurm make up a good portion of Eldrazi decks.

Playing with and against Arc Slogger learned me more about MtG than any other card

Here's the Eldrazi no one ever uses in Commander. It never flips.

You're right, it is no contest; she keeps beating them.

Whoop. Forgot the pic.

My inner Munchkin is highly aroused right now.

>people didn't like this set
>people didn't like the mechanics
>people didn't like the lore
>fans can never have more of it

I would never call a 5/1 fat.
But I would call a 4/4 fat.

1/1. Then she's a six mana, two color requiring Elvish Visionary.

...

I agree, my favourite set in terms of flavour and art

But we will have 6 ravnica sets before more lorwyn because they fucked up tribal

...

I'm a tooooooown, I'm a toooooown, suck my diiiiiiiiiiick, I'm a toooooooown.

That art looks sweet.

Also, seems to go quite well with this guy: