Shitposting from the start edition

It's from the KDM Reddit. Was made to troll the fuck out of the totally 100% straight and not even remotely at all a little gay hypermasculine dudebros complaining about male pinups making them uncomfortable.

How do you guys handle realizing that you've been accidentally cheating? Do you keep on going as though nothing happened? Do you roll things back? Do you punish yourself for it in some way?

For example, I just realized that Matchmaker is once per year. There have been some years where I've definitely used it more than once. What do I do about this? How should I handle it?

use the proper rules from now on and write "cheater" in black marker on your face
never misuse this precise rule again out of eternal shame

Just remember not to do it again. The game has sooooo many fucking moving parts and shit up for interpretation that it doesn't really matter.

Anyone?

You are an idiot.

How so?

Check the updates section on the kickstarter page.

Thanks! I wasn't aware the creator of the game drew this himself.

He didn't.

sexy and plays kdm
would bang

O-oh

who's this succ succubus

Anyone use slenderman? How much harder does he make a campaign? I have almost all the expansions so far and the only one that makes the game easier is Flower Knight.

What is the best painting service in aus?

Actually relating to this question, what expansions keep the difficulty level roughly the same as the base game?

I'm disgust with how this game has got the attention of normie. My normie friend talk about the game like he have the game, understand anything about it depsite only hearing this from crappy site like shittaku and never playing any tabletop before.

So, Survival of the Fittest. I just did a bunch of math, mostly because I want to actually use this for once, and the results were actually fairly interesting. I'm much less down on this than I used to be now that I see the results.

So, here's the stats.

Intimacy w/o Face Paint, w/o reroll:
>19% chance of 1 (both die)
>32% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>33% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>12% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>3% chance of 9 (two babbies)
>1% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: -0.18

This is frankly awful. On average you will lose more characters to childbirth than you successfully birth. Very bad. Complete waste of endeavors. But, things get better when you add the Face Paint bonus.

Intimacy w/ Face Paint, w/o reroll:
>0% chance of 1 (both die)
>36% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>39% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>16% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>6% chance of 9 or 11 (two babbies)
>3% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: +0.34

This isn't great, but at least you're gaining population. That's good. That means you can increase over time. But, an average of a third of a babby per intimacy is not great.

So invite him to a game and teach him.

The main draw of the new Survival of the Fittest, however, is that reroll. Ideally you'll want to use your reroll on some devastating Hunt Event or Settlement Event or a really crucial miss or something, but if you make the assumption that at least one of the two parents has a reroll available and that you will use that reroll if one or both parents die then suddenly the numbers start looking much better. The math got a little hairier, but in the end it was doable. Also, note that I only rerolled if the original result would involve death. Here are the stats:

Intimacy w/o Face Paint, w/ reroll:
>6% chance of 1 (both die)
>15.6% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>52.8% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>19.2% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>4.8% chance of 9 (two babbies)
>1.6% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: +0.556
% chance of needing the reroll: 42%

Intimacy w/ Face Paint, w/ reroll:
>0% chance of 1 (both die)
>10.4% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>54.6% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>22.4% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>8.4% chance of 9 (two babbies)
>4.2% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: +0.876
% chance of needing the reroll: 32%

Much, much, much better. This is actually playable. You won't be getting saviors any time soon, but the upside is that it's like starting the game with Clan of Death already in play. And then you can get a second one later on. Do note that this is assuming that the reroll here only applies to one of the two results -- it says, "roll twice and pick the lowest result" and "may reroll a single roll result" so I interpret it as if you roll a 6 and a 2 you can reroll the 2 and keep the 6. You'll still have to choose the lowest final result, but if it saves population then bam off you go.

I dunno. I like it. It's scary, but I like it.

Play once with him before, and he just trying to destroy my dice and minis, he throwns the dice to the minis and other dices to reset his number because he sayan he learn that technique from Yugioh.

Just for completeness' sake, here are the same stats for Protect the Young except with the assumption that you will choose 10's over 11's if you happen to roll a natural 9 and a natural 10 with Face Paint on:

Intimacy w/o Facepaint, Protect the Young
>1% chance of 1 (both die)
>8% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>27% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>28% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>17% chance of 9 (two babbies)
>19% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: +0.98

Intimacy w/ Facepaint, Protect the Young
>0% chance of 1 (both die)
>4% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>21% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>24% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>32% chance of 9 (two babbies)
>19% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: +1.24

Alright, I can only go by your account and by that he sounds like a dick.

One last set of stats, cause I noticed something that bothered me. Personally, I usually choose 7's / 8's over 9's / 11's with Protect the Young because I like that bonus strength more than the bonus population. So with that choice built in, the results become:

Intimacy w/ Facepaint, Protect the Young
>0% chance of 1 (both die)
>4% chance of 2-3 (mother dies)
>21% chance of 4-6 (regular babby)
>32% chance of 7-8 (strong babby)
>24% chance of 9 (two babbies)
>19% chance of 10 (savior babby)
Net population gain per intimacy: +1.16

Now you can clearly see that adding in Facepaint does increase the chance for a strong baby, although not by all that much actually. Probably not even worth using Facepaint with Protect the Young, actually. Not unless you really like the mother I suppose.

Sounds like you'll have to put him to death, user

I'm pretty sure, if user's friend plays Yugioh, the medical establishment would already classify him as, at the very least, brain dead.

I have a friend with the same disability. Truly the sweet release of death is the only cure.

He's not play Yugioh, he read Yugioh.

>to reset his number because he sayan he learn that technique from Yugioh.

...

...

...

By all that is holy. I think I can feel my brain dribbling out of my ears.

Yeah, this. My god, he throws the dices like caveman throws his stone.

>vibrating

...

I want to back this game, I'm also retarded, can someone explain this kickstarter thing to me? I pledged the 60 dollar tier, this includes the actual game right? I saw that the 200 dollar tier explicitly states it has the core game and the update but surely they would include the actual game in the 60 dollar tier as well, right?

A friendly reminder to those in the thread: please do not respond to bait posts.

In the extremely unlikely case that you aren't actually trying to bait us into another stupid argument over cost, then let me ask you this: what exactly makes you think that a pledge tier which does not list a thing would actually include that thing? If it does not say you get the core game with that tier, then why would you think you get the core game in that tier?

Yes, the $60 pledge includes a $400 board game.

>If it does not say you get the core game with that tier, then why would you think you get the core game in that tier?
Desperation.
I wasn't trying to bait.
I was just hoping that since the game itself seems to be sold out on their website it would also be included with the updated version I didnt want to spend 200+ dollars for the tier that includes both the base game and the update
because I dont actually have any friends to play this with I was just going to put it up on a shelf with all the other table top games ive bought and never played

I never got stuff like this. Surely you're not gullible if you feel the need to try something before you believe it.

damn :3

They're not two separate items if you don't own the game. You can get the updated Core Game for $250 ($200 for the BF version).
The levels below that are only upgrade sets, which are useless unless you have a Core Game already.

Thanks for letting me know, guess i'll just cancel the pledge I already made.

Nu-males karma whoring on image boards, in response to the 'bigoted reactions to male pinups'.

Just up it to 75 and get the Dragon King expansion. The think is as big as a 40k Knight and can do just as good a job of sitting on your shelf as the boxed game could (The Game-Box is huge anyway, it'd take up tons of space if you got a copy).

Yeah this is a shitty way to start a thread, until next one guys!

Come the fuck on guys, it's [Current Lantern Year] for fucks sake.

>So! In the vein of embracing the insanity, Here are some things I am excited to see on the horizon of Kingdom Death. Consider it a soft-announcement of the things that inspire me to work every morning.

>KDM - Nightmare Ram Expansion
>KDM - Ringtail Fox Expansion
>KDM - Black Knight Expansion
>KDM - Gryphon Expansion
>KDM - Frogdog Expansion
>KDM - Lantern Festival (being reworked from the ground up, might focus on towns instead of settlements)
>KDM - Storm Knight Expansion (how a survivor can become a hero)
>KDM - Custom Campaign Book (for mixing our current expansions, supported with new story events)
>KDM - Rust Ocean (area where Architects are from)

This is a couple months old, but I bet we're going to see all of this in one form or another. We already have Ram and Frogdog is on deck. LF might or might not have been basically served by the Gold Smoke Knight or 'Node 5', or maybe we'll get King/Scribe in the same spot as Screaming/Parasite Queen. Custom Campaign book sounds like it evolved into the Node system.

Totally unaccounted for of yet are Ringtail Fox, Black Knight, Gryphon, Storm Knight, and Rust Ocean.

This is something Poots said, I understand? Do you have a link to it on hand?

The bone axe got two speed, but when I attack with it, it only counts as one attack yeah? Because I just rolled two 10s after eachother

Two speed means two attacks. I don't understand how you got this idea.

>black knight
>storm knight

you telling me I just did 4 wounds? jesus fuck

That is one attack, yeah. And keep in mind only Wounds can crit; rolling a 10 on a hit roll is called a Perfect Hit and does nothing unless you have an ability that interacts with it.

This is incorrect. Two extra speed means he makes two extra attempts to hit when he makes his attack. It is still one attack.

>This is incorrect. Two extra speed means he makes two extra attempts to hit when he makes his attack. It is still one attack.

So you can never cause more than one wound in a round with a weapon that doesn't have a rule that says otherwise?

Where in hell does it say that?

No, you scored two hits...why do you say 4?
You scored two hits and now you have to roll how many of them caused a wound.

You just got 2 perfect hits. Each attack rolls separately to hit.

Then you need to draw HL (2 in your case) and roll to wound. If you got two lantern 10's wounding with the bone axe it would do 4 wounds instead of 2.

Sir, you fundamentally understand how this combat works and don't know what you're talking about at all.

An attack consists of a set of to-hit rolls followed by a series of attempts to wound. Each successful to-hit roll draws a hit location card, and then (barring a trap) tries to wound at each location. You can wound every location if you roll well enough and no shenanigans happen. Only once all wound attempts have completed (or something happened to cancel the remaining hits) does the attack finish.

The user is asking this question because of the Bone Axe's special rule of Savage, which says once per attack when it critically wounds you deal an extra wound. So he got two critical wounds in one attack, but unfortunately Savage is limited so he only deals 3 total wounds.

Im sorry, I didnt explain fully, I rolled two succesfull hits, so two possibilities to wound. On the first wound I rolled a 10, great double wound because of bone axe. On the second wound location I also rolled a 10, the boneaxe states once per attack, cause an additional wound. does the second crit count as another attack to trigger its effect once again?

>Each attack rolls separately to hit.
Please disregard this user, he does not know what he's talking about. It is all one single attack.

Oh sorry mates, it's been a while since I played the game, I am a bit off on the proper vocabulary. I thought with attack you mean to wound roll.

You are 100% correct with what you said.

One of the updates for the first kickstarter.

I'ma need a link to that because it is not in any of the updates unless it's buried way back in the production timeline where it wouldn't make any sense to be. Back then he was too buried in manufacturing and sculpting issues to be looking into new expansions for his game that hasn't even officially came out yet.

I feel like this is just a rumor that's getting overblown because it plays into what people want out of the project.

KDU #15 in may
kingdomdeath.tumblr.com/ and ctrl+f Rust, that'll take you right to it.

It's hardly a solid announcement but it does indicate some of what Poots is interested in.

Oh, cool, I didn't even know he had an official blog. Was looking at his KS updates for the first campaign.

Thanks for the link, user.

Also holy fuck I didn't realize how big the Frogdog mini is. I thought it was more lion or antelope sized.

Frogdog better not have amazing equipment, because god DAMN is that an ugly model.

Like, its well sculpted or whatever. Its just a grotesque monster that I don't want to have to look at.

So he is not doing this for money. Really, young men today should learn to protect themselves better. There are indeed women on the internet, and some of them are evil.

He should consider making porn. So cute and hot. There is something about chubby guys that appeal to me.

>rust ocean expansion is a box filled with powdered ferrous oxide

I think we just figured out what the True Form Satan backers will get on top of their regular stuff: an exclusive expansion.

That would be a cool gag gift. :D

I bet you are fat.

i dont mind ugly ass monsters.

but my problem with frogdog is that its just a shit design.

The real problem with frogdog is that it's not scary. Monsters in KD are suppossed to be nightmare fuel. Frogdog is a saturday morning cartoon design, a fucking joke.

What the fuck cartoons are you watching on saturdays? It's got enough freaky-ass details to at least get "Weird '80s animated movie". Still not the vibe I'd get from KD

TWO ROLLS
W
O

R
O
L
L
S

WHO HYPE FOR TODAYS UPDATE TO GO UP?

Look at his face and tell me he's not straight out of an episode of scooby doo.

More like Beetlejuice. That scene where Linda pulls her face out to scare the Deetzes.

Look at the flank too, and those eyes. Tell me that shit wouldn't be at home in Fantastic Planet.

I think we can agree we don't like it.

>remove breasts
>shrink face by about 30%
>close mouth
Would that make the mini better?

But user frogs are basically mouths on legs.

I agree it's not great. I like it, but it's on par with lion for me.

She literally has giant teats and vaginas on her shoulders birthing more puppies.

Scooby-Doo sure has changed a lot.

This bit. youtu.be/QFVSrjAXq6g

>KDM - Custom Campaign Book (for mixing our current expansions, supported with new story events)
I guess this is the Node System? So it is more than just numbering the expansions and telling how many can go in what Node?
Would be cool.

Either that or they took a look at it and thought "We can do this more efficiently with these nodes..." Though maybe there will be a few pages in the Gambler's Chest rulebook dedicated to thematic multi-expansion campaigns and a couple story events for them (I'd love to see, say, a true Lion Replacement, in that you get an alternate prologue creature)

>tfw Clan of Death in LY4

Feels good until the armored strangers come knocking.

Yeah that's gonna be a fun time. But, I'm just going to try and roll with the punches. Not getting Dash or Surge in time for the Butcher fight is going to be particularly rough.

I'm trying out the new Survival of the Fittest, too. Pic related is the baseline stats for any newborn survivors in the settlement. Shit is gonna be bonkers.

First time bakcer here--what is that? Is there a notepad for keeping track of survivor stats? That looks more like a pdf

There's a TTS mod