The Uniform

I bend one arm behind my back, pull the zipper up halfway from my hip. And then bend my other arm over my back, grab the zipper, and pull down on the outfit with the original arm as I pull up with the arm behind my head.

Zipping the back by yourself is not hard. Drag queens been doing it for a hundred years now.

wrong

>Wrong.

Right.

I quite enjoyed a novel where an older member of Star Fleet possessed a decommissioned Starfleet parka, with heating coils for the cold and, something that made him the object of some envy, very large pockets.

Christ, imagine how naked the Away Teams feel when they're told to beam down to some alien planet just wearing their PJs.

I didn't ask how to unzip a zipper, I asked how the computer would do that for you. Do you have short term amnesia or something?

Yeah, a military uniform without pockets is kind of a terrible idea, no matter how advanced their technology is.

That's the joke, sperg. The computer wouldn't do it for you. You'd be told how to do it and your incompetence logged for discussion at your next performance review.

>unzip
I clearly explained how to zip it up.

I will NOT wear the red one.

Depends on the series. After TOS, red is also Command.

...hmm. You can either go for (relatively) safe Engineering or Science posts, with the respective hazards, or risk it all and go for red, being made either a Redshirt or Captain/etc.

This.

What were the Empire's uniforms supposed to be made from? Leather and metal? Or just slightly shiny fabric?

The art style of 80s and early 90s anime does materials really badly.

Command track is where you go if you're too stupid to do anything else.

Not security?

1. Needs retractable sleeves. Long sleeves tend to catch on things.

2. Belt should come with a waterproof pouch that Is tucked on the inside of the belt loop, and is otherwise unnoticeable until you pull it out. The pouch is insulated, temperature resistant and able to be used for chemical sampling, boil water, etc.

3. Belt clip needs a retractable edge that can be used as an emergency knife.

>olive drab fabric
>off-center coat closure
More of a Soviet rip-off than Nazi.

Security is trained in combat.

Command is trained in fucking up and ignoring code of conduct when it suits you.

There have been dozens of episodes on this. Pay attention.

They always reminded me more of Imperial Japan to be honest.

I can kinda see that, especially the collar on the uniform jacket.

Also, pockets. Pockets would be nice.

rip tight pete-o

I could go for this. The Nazis were horrible people, but they were VERY snappy dressers.

Why did your mind go to "drag queens" before it went to "women"? No judgment.

Girls can ask for help. That's not uncommon

Trans have to do it themselves.

I always assumed they were black cotton or wool (or the future equivalent) and the shine was just highlights. Even in a tux today, you can see reflections where it picks up bright lights.

The asker is no doubt male, so the answer would best be delivered so that a man would use the knowledge. I don't know how women zip up. I'm sure it's not much different. But the fact that broad shouldered men are capable of finishing a dress and have been for a hundred years punctuates how stupid a question it is.

>The right way to do a space military uniform is anything copying the Nazis.
Are you children so young you haven't even read the evil overlord list? You NEVER dress like the nazis. That makes you lose the first time a rebellion starts.

Broad-shouldered, but also long-armed. Unless they're wearing a sleeved dress that's too small, I think it'd actually be easier for the average guy to zip up than the average girl, though to be fair I don't exactly have a study with which to back up that claim.

Though also, there are a lot of side-zip dresses nowadays.

Drag queens and transgender are two different things. I'm kind of a stickler for terminology.

That's the power of a Boss designer. A Hugo Boss.

>The right way to do a space military uniform is anything copying the Nazis.
If you're going to dress your space army as obvious bad guys, don't half-ass it with Nazi uniforms.

When it comes to evil uniforms, the more over-the-top it is, the better.

The ones in your picture don't look very evil though...

Having a uniform for the evil army is the first mistake.

Encourage underlings to wear whatever is practical including whatever their favorite band/singer is. But to occlude their face whenever they intend to do something clearly against popular opinion.

Otherwise wear whatever, and be loud. Bonus points for special snowflaking and claiming to be rebels. Do whatever you can to discredit those that would oppose us without being associated with us when you're doing it.

Outta my way, fashionless plebs!

>not keeping what you kill

George Soros please go, and take your "Antifa" rioters with you. Everyone knows they're an organized army of darkness just pretending to be rebels.

Heaven's me, user. I was talking about CIA operatives. Not useful idiots.

But they're strikingly similar, aren't they..?

Different branches of the same organization, user.

>Implying the CIA puts their operatives in danger
>Not just having handlers who hold the leash of avarice consumed foreign dogs who would do anything for a scrap of the US's dinner

Also
>Implying the CIA is evil

...

Wow you really provided a surprise twist to the post of that other poster who is a different poster than you. You must be quite a jokester to have such mastery of humor to take a thing that you did not originally write and spontaneously wrap it up into a perfect humorous package

>not using sleeve ranks aka the greatest acheivement in rank dissemination ever devised in recorded millitary history

so much for the future lads

>embroidered rank emblems
Enjoy having to order a whole new set of uniforms every time you promote an officer.

>paying for the uniform of the members
It comes out of their pay.

Or just have people who know how to embroider.

>This is your uniform. It is an efficient single piece garment with a zipper in the back. Rank displayed by pips on the the collar. It comes with boots and a belt for carrying a sidearm and scanning device.

>Ixrdnl, we don't mind you being on the council to represent your race, but we'd like to ask you to not slouch in your seat, it reflects poorly.

If the zipper is in the back how do I pee?

...huh. I guess this is where the dress comparison falls apart.

I think you'd have to ask someone who wears rompers.

...

The only guy I know who wears a romper regularly shits his pants and is better at throwing creamed corn than eating it.

Aww.

But I'm more referring to adult women who wear rompers. You have to have juuuuuust the right body to pull it off, so it's rare, but it does happen.

So now we just need someone to wait outside a Forever 21 to ask women how they go to the bathroom.

I always thought they were two-piece suits and you just couldn't tell because the waist on both the shirt and pants are featureless black.

I think they changed to uniform to that mid TNG

I much prefer the latter DS9 uniforms

Yup. The actors had problems with

Stop spreading this meme! The Hugo Boss company was involved with manufacturing some Nazi uniforms but they were designed by party insiders. Hugo Boss himself had no input on the designs.

Grandpa??

The "I was just following orders!!" defense.

To hell with sleeve ranks, pips forever!

Boss joined the Nazi party in 1931, and was an enthusiastic supporter of the Reich and Fuhrer. While he didn't personally design the SS uniform (which was designed by Karl Diebitsch and Walter Heck), he did continue to manufacture clothing and uniforms for both the SA and SS from 1932 until the dissolution of both on Germany's unconditional surrender thirteen years later. He was subsequently severely punished for his political actions, and was unable to vote as a consequence at the time of his death from a tooth abscess in 1948.

However, while Diebitsch (no, really, stop laughing) and Heck 'designed' the uniform, it was in the main simply a modified M36, which drew on decades of extant German military uniforms and, as a consequence, had no true 'designer'; it did not innovate in any practical way, but simply differed slightly in style (reflecting the international fashions of the 1930s) from earlier uniforms, with the bells and whistles the only real contribution that Diebitsch, Heck, or Boss could possibly have made - it's a functional, hard-wearing military uniform in a similar form to contemporary modernized uniforms worn in other nations.

Regardless of design attribution, however, Hugo Boss (the designer) and Hugo Boss (the manufacturing concern) were both deeply involved in manufacture of these uniforms, and the man himself was an enthusiastic supporter of Nazism and Adolf Hitler, and also of using slave labor to cut costs.

Interesting. What's your source or sources?

Engineering to bridge. Captain, you know we're working with energized plasma under magnetic containment down here, right? The goggles, they do nothing.

Sickbay to engineering. Can I have your goggles? I've got a surgery to perform. Some surgical masks and somewhere to scrub up that isn't exposed to the corridor would be nice too.

group.hugoboss.com/files/Study_on_the_Companys_History_Abridged_Verson_en_final.pdf

Most of it's here. Read around, you'll find the rest.

So, I polled some of the admirals, and apparently has the right of it. Two admirals looked at that shit and kicked me out of their office. Two of them required all their reserve to not laugh me out. One simply sneered in derision.

>Diebitch, Heck, and Boss
the fakest law firm

Imperial officers uniforms were designed by Tarkin, meant to look good but also be comfy as fuck.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_military_uniforms

"While I can appreciate devotion to one's sartorial programming, I've no interest in initiating a fashion trend on Coruscant or anywhere else. I simply want a uniform that fits. Especially the boots. The stars know, my feet have logged more kilometers aboard Star Destroyers than during surface deployments, even in a facility of this size."
―Moff Tarkin,

Why don't they use hoverboards if they have to travel such great distances on starships that are kilometers long?

Why don't high-power executives wear heelies? Because they're too stubborn to recognize progress when they see it.

>The art style of 80s and early 90s anime does materials really badly.
Nah, it's just a depreciated art style. Most concurrent people have no problem interpreting it.

Or you could just have pips and pay them less. More for the war treasury!

I never understood why that guy just sort of accepted Riddick as his ruler instead of murdering him immediately to take his place

they just showed Riddick becoming the Necromunger king or whatever by killing the other guy with a knife and he had a big-ass halberd in his hand, and Riddick had his guard down because he was mourning, why not kill Riddick and take his goddamn place?

That's a good question.

I guess Riddick could order his newly-acquired troops to attack him?

Riddick is Space Conan.

>Zipper in the back and no pockets
You had one job starfleet.

I am wondering if that is Glenn Close on the left there.

This is now your uniform. Kill anyone that laughs.

The most stylish law firm

>Sir, why do we keep hiring these guys? the lose every case!
>Yeah, but they look so good doing it

Say what you will about Star Trek Enterprise but at least their uniforms made sense.

Spare ammo? Right here in my Liefeldpouch.

Where's the pockets

Now this is a uniform!

What if I copy the Soviets or ChiComs instead?

Fuck I never realized how evil Boss was, I just thought he did it cause patriotism not "hey maybe we should get some slaves just saying"

Reminded of the Mass Effect uniforms.

They were pretty good. Not necessarily the best, they didn't look particularly stylish unless you made Shepard wear a dress uniform but it looked useable and something you might give to your spaceship crew.

now he just looks like a silly billy

I always find it weird that Bones had short sleeves in TOS because he was a doctor, yet everyone wears long sleeves in every other series.

>The same way you pull up a zipper on a dress.

Have your husband do it for you?

While I won't say you're definitively right, you're definitely not wrong.
You get ten pieces of unfuncioning shit for the price of a functional piece of shit. Sure, the soviets made the kalashnikov rifles and some good space rockets, but would you really prefer a chicom or a russian ballistic vest over a german one?