Campaign hooks so stupid they might just work

The Baron is coming to town, and the only way to keep him from dividing up the land and selling it to rich investors parcel by parcel is to impress him in the annual Chili Con Carnival Cookoff. You have one week to prepare your meats and sauces before he arrives and the CCCC begins.

The investors have planted saboteurs masquerading as competing chefs.

Are you a bad enough dude to make the baddest chili in all the land with the world and the clock against you?

>game of thrones but with an Icelandic giant and an Irish martial artist

Oh wait...

That already happened in real life.

At a cactus farm some guys drank the juice of a rare cactus that had hallucinogenic properties. The survivor claimed that the Cactus King spoke to them and demanded their death and one of them jumped upon the cacti and died from his wounds.

>Jim you gotta take your own life
>Why
>Cactuses

>jim
Shit I just remembered that Outlaw Star had an evil sentient cactus.

A party of drow warriors meets up with the big bad in the first session, who then plane shifts them to the American South circa 1800, where they are promptly enslaved. The rest of the game is the drow trying to break free and start a slave revolt.

A group of bacteria that just got into the BBEG have to try and outwit his immune system to take him down.

>Gotta find a reason for the players to eradicate all of them
Simple - the characters want all the time in the limelight, not just skellingtons stealing away attention from them.

>TFW the players derail your campaign and use their magical abilities to become immortal God-Kings of the U.S.

I'd be 100% on board with that

>Wild Wild West 2
>Still haven't gotten Will Smith to sign on for it.

>The players are cyber-cowboys, sent to destroy a powerful corporation
>They jack into the matrix, but some heavy black ICE is close to killing them
>In desperation, they store their conciousnesses in the first networked items they find, which just happens to be the head, torso, arms and legs of an experimental android
>each of them now controls a single part
>The players must now destroy the corporation, take back their original bodies, and learn a valuable lesson about the power of teamwork at the same time.

>>Wild Wild West 2
Please tell me you are jost joking and Hollywood isn't that desperate for sequels...

the lord of the rings, but frodo has down's syndrome and the party has to babysit him the whole way

>Implying it's not how the story goes

the dark tower, but instead of eddie getting off of heroin he gets the whole party hooked

Well that's going to be a little hard, especially considering these skeletons don't just talk.
They also do tap-dancing, breakdancing, stand-up comedy, and improv gags.
Can your party of Bards outperform these vaudeville skeletons?

Stand-up comedy is where the skellies loose! Everyone know screwball sketches are twice as good!

a party of mice has to make it from one side of the dump to the other

The BBEG is a 1000-year old ghost who steals spring to revive a dead body that turns out to be her own, but she didn't remember it. Her best friend knew about this, but for some reason didn't feel like this information was worth sharing with her and attacks the party for some other reason.

>The Bards think they've won against the clavicle comedy club
>But suddenly, the door bursts open
>A red skeleton strolls in
WHAZ GUUD, NYIGGAHS?
youtube.com/watch?v=hod0WtYE4SA

>The cheese is a lie

This one manages.

Sounds like malaria to me

fat people trying to lose weight and all the enemies are junk food

false

what's this game? I haven't heard of it

Far Cry 2.

a party of tiny japanese girls trying to stay safe in a big weeabo convention

Far Cry 2. Where you have malaria and it strikes you always in the least appropriate moment, so better have a trainload of pills collected in advance

a group of aliens crashland in ancient egypt and have to work their way to the pharaoh and convince him to build the pyramids as a satellite dish to signal their mothership to pick them up

Harry Potter but voldemort won and the party is muggleborns that have realized they can do magic

It always bugs me how you down one pill after another, but never get cured... I mean malaria treatment takes 4 days plus another two for full recovery. I get it, it's a gameplay mechanic, but come on! Even if you rush the plot, you should be healthy in no time.

Read the original i am legend Book.

This is gold

The party of clerics is Jesus and the three wise men who got plane shifted and have to work their way back to their universe while starting christianity

To get crushing depression? Thanks, I'll pass

I cried like a little bitch when I read it.

... so they are trying to bully the cleric to death?

dunno, maybe they give the illusion that jesus was crucified and that gives them the xp needed to learn the spell to plane shift back?

>That moment when Neville's wife returns
Seriously, it's a wonder the guy just didn't pop his own cap

the party is the lizard people living under the earth, and they have to take control of the world without the public finding out

There would be no story if he did, so go figure

He kinda does

Only after he realizes his roaring rampage of revenge is fruitless and has made him into the monster

>Failing reading comprehension this bad

Last time I've checked, he killed himself to not get executed, in the final act of defiance.

You faggots really trying to claim the moral of the story isn't "he who fights monsters"? That's the entire point of the title - I am Legend. I have become the myth, the bogeyman, the feared creature.

I think 11 would make for a great campaign

All commoners are now velociraptors. They still want you to do shit for them though.

Welcome to the new, clean, safe, and anti-creative Veeky Forums.

The entire point of the story is how humanity get obsolete and replaced. It has absolutely nothing to do with your over-simplified, brain-dead reinterpretation that might be palpable for a pleb, but has nothing to do with the story.
So nice way of showing you barely grasped what you've read and got satisfied with how both old film versions spinned the ending

>How to boil down Anti-nihilism: The Story to 2edgy4me trite

Lord of the Rings but everyone is a radish except for the orcs who are retarded waifus

One time in a convention we played a game called "Legs". We played random item with little legs addes to them and had each a secret objective and a common goal, which was to escape the building without the human noticing. Thje pen had to sharpen itself, the rubber had to snap the human, etc...
it was great

>Campaign hooks so stupid they might just work

Just a good old fashioned true to life god honest trip out to get and use AS MANY DRUGS AS POSSIBLE.

I can WAAAGH to this

Whup, mixed up my boards, deleting.

You should still go back to Veeky Forums though. Veeky Forums is for people who actually like books

>Stop having a different interpretation than me REEEEEEEE

English Majors

Epic-level pirates pillage Hell and burn it to the ground.

>After millennia of travel, your people's fleet arrived at its destination with very little cryogenic failure losses. Your near-million forefathers, and the millions more stored as fertilized ova, made it to your new home.
>Part of a multinational plan to preserve humanity long past any foreseeable conflicts, their mission was to establish a colony on this world far outside the galactic plane.
>The first radio telescope established twenty years after colonization began, however, reported mankind to be vibrantly alive and still cruising the stars.
>But things seem strange now: mankind calls itself The Imperium, and things have changed. Not for the better.
>You and your crew on the United Nations of Humanity Vessel Johnny Glenn are being sent out to explore this new era, the 41st Millennium.

What about
>awaken after millennia in stasis to colonize the planet you're arriving to
>it's already full of humans, technology having advanced to make faster colony ships by enough that their later ship arrived first
>they've already brought the new world to the brink of ruin and now need to start coming up with colony ships to escape it and start the locust-like cycle again... right when your colony ship is conveniently arriving in the system

this isnt even the full one

Beautiful.

>not killing sentient beings is edgy
Are you fucking retarded? What constitutes not edgy in your eyes?

That could be pretty amazing actually

I didn't get that one actually.

what a mindfuck

I've read that fanfiction.
before you ask: it wasn't good in the slightest. I have purged it from my brain

They really should have just called it something else, maybe even have a throwback to the original far cry with it.

I can image player characters clutching their weapons in fear in some barricaded high-rise as hoards of skeletons sing, dance and play their bony instruments through the night. A Mardi Gras of horror.

My brother came up with a similar game called "Fruits and vegetables with legs" when he was a kid.

So... Shadow Raiders?

The party is just trying to accomplish a courier mission but they all have Alzheimers and every so often they have to role to see if they shit their pants or walk into traffic or so on

Now I want to play an archer who arches overhand.

Ghostbusters but all the Ghostbusters are girls

Wayne's World but with 2010s references

Wasn't that an episode of Outlaw Star?

>Standard Western Game
>But instead of being in the west it's in Central America and insead of Cherokee or Iroquois it's the Aztecs at full power
>With Dinosaurs

Literally the basic story of Final Fantasy 1 but with more classes and everything renamed

>Not even understanding what the other user was (probably) about
Not the original user, but let's analyse what he said, since at least he's aware the book was about anti-nihilism and heavy punches.
Since we already established this is anti-nihilism, Neville, rather than pop his cap, lives. And he doesn't JUST live. He eventually puts a meaning to his life. He stops being a whinny bitch, stops getting hammered to just some get sleep and starts getting shit done. Since I'm eager to bet a fiver you didn't read the original book, a friendly reminder he's a blue collar guy and most definitely not a doctor. He spends months just to educate his ass and trying to figure out what's going on. He turns his life around. But most importantly - he starts his entire crusade against what he considers monsters, trying to at least thin them down. He knows he can't made a difference (nihilism), but rather than being miserable drunk, he tries to make the world better and meaningful for himself, even if he knows it's all just illusion (anti-nihilism).
And then comes the shattering message - the world moved on. The world no longer needs Neville. And most importantly - Neville is a monster of that new world. See, HE became stuff of legends. Legends of the new world, with no space left for such thing like humanity. That was the big message of the book - that not only his anti-nihilism was ultimately a failure, but basically putting the entire concept of the monster on its head, without going for perspective flip till the very end. In short, the book is revolutionary on few completely different levels

Boiling it down to "he who fights monsters" not only fundamentally misses the point, since Neville NEVER turned into a monster in the first place and get from miserable drunk to functional human. But, what cannot be overstressed, makes it into edgy trite.

tl;dr - the book is not about "he who fights monsters" and it's insulting to say so

>This
>Standard western game
I'm not sure you understand what "standard" means