Be Emperor/Empress of China

>be Emperor/Empress of China
>your two top advisors come bearing distressing news

Male Advisor:
>"Your Majesty, our scouts in Persia report that the locals speak of a race of savage pink skins far to the west, who pillage and murder in broad daylight in rat-infested streets where few are known to live beyond the age of 30 or 40. They know nothing of culture, art or science, and randomly tie their own kind to stakes to be burned alive! Plagues also regularly ravage their lands as if they are cursed by some sort of divinity! I recommend that we increase our military spending and pool our resources into developing greater weapons of war in preparation to confront this potentially grave threat to our very existence!"

Female Advisor:
>"Your Majesty, I'm afraid I must humbly disagree. While it is true that these ‘pink skins’ are very violent and strange, they have nevertheless shown remarkable resilience, resourcefulness and innovative potential, not to mention they seem to have an indomitable spirit of will and thirst for adventure and freedom! Indeed at their present rate of progress, their achievements could very well surpass our own someday. They are also quite strong and, um... 'virile.' I would even go as far as to say that some are actually quite handsome and...oh my… forgive me, Sire, I may need a moment to collect myself... ooh.... ahem! At any rate, if I may, I believe there is a historic opportunity here to strengthen our own race by...er... intermarrying with these pink skins. In fact it would be my personal honor to help test this theory by--"

Male Advisor:
>"Enough! How dare you speak such filthy whore nonsense within the walls of the Forbidden Palace, wench?! Your Majesty, please... a decision must be made on this matter and it must be made as soon as possible! What are your orders, Sire?"

Answer?

I dismiss their concerns publicly, but in secret I consult with my shadowy cabal of diviners, and we scrutinize the future.
Based upon this knowledge, I seal myself away deep beneath the Forbidden City, my immortal form dormant, to awaken at the hour of the Middle Kingdom's greatest need, and bring Order to the world.

Fpbp

Also
>female advisor

Detain the female advisor in her family home for tarnishing her families honor.

She was promised away to a wealthy family when she was five, yet she has sexual fantasizes about filthy savages? It is any mans responsibility to keep her locked away for her own good.

Send her someone to teach her the Guzheng, teamaking and other feminine arts to clear her mind.

Historically, China really didn't care about anything outside of the Middle Kingdom, effectively pretending they were the center of the world and everyone else was irrelevant long after that outlook had been proven stupid and self defeating.

Like.. Yeah, that's how they feel now.

The local bureaucracy was expected to maintain order. Troops would be rased only when it was clear that a situation was beyond what the local government could contain, and sometimes not even then. The Emperor wasn't really expected to raise troops himself, and would instead direct someone else to handle it.

If this all sounds super inefficient, it sure was.

I order OP quartered for shitposting about his cuckold fantasies.

>China
>Female advisor
user...

We will do both, obviously. We will use that absolute shithole nippon as a breeding ground, then forge the half-bloods into a mighty army. We will call them pollacks and have a large, smug green frog as their animal totem.

/thread

Pic related also makes everything better

So... Tang campaign thread?

Because that was first and last dynasty to give a single fuck about things going outside China and direct vicinity.

Which begs to ask what the hell female does as an advisor in the first place. Or how the fuck anyone could consider anyone from outside the China as anything else than a filthy barbarian.
Because no matter if you like it or not, entire Chinese culture run for millenniums on extreme ethnocentrism and outright xenophobia. Even if we take Tang dynasty approach to outsiders, they STILL treated everyone like stupid savages to exploit, the only difference being trading with those savages to get cash for infrastructure construction. Kind of how China works today.
On the plus-note this doesn't mean racism. As long as you embrace superior culture, language and customs, then it's all fine and dandy. But being different culturally means being inferior, no matter fucking what.

go back to /pol/

>Imperial advisor
>Female
What does one of the concubines does outside the harem? Or why the hell the advisor came to see the emperor in his bedding?

But my Emperor, if they're anything like OP, they'll be completely impotent! How will we ever get them to breed?

>Implying Chinese were even aware where Persia was or what it was
And it only goes worse from there.

I've got a clue user. If you are going for historical setting, try fucking harder. At least do some basic research.

> vintage copypasta

And so many people don't recognize it. Sad days.

I do.
And that doesn't mean I'm gonna care. It was just as stupid when it was posted for the first time years ago.

You should always seek the best man for the job, regardless of sex.

As a fellow Emperor, I second this motion.

Remove them from their posts for gross incompetence and plain idiocy. The male has just described not!Mongols thousands of miles away on the other side of two empires and we still have actual fucking Mongols to worry about. The female is obviously brain damaged.

Easy enough. I start gathering money just in case it is really necessary to increase our army, but that sounds really doubtful since the barbarians are so far away. Meanwhile, I send scouts to their lands, to learn of their warriors.

Then I send the female advisor on a diplomatic mission, since she seems so interested in this new race, with orders to learn about their culture and of any possible scientific advancements they might have made or make in the future, so we can steal their ideas and improve them as quick as the savages think it.

Well what people should do and what people did are two entirely different matters

>where few are known to live beyond the age of 30 or 40.
You're an uneducated piece of shit OP

Blame the eunuch of course!

No, that male advisor was an uneducated piece of shit.

>Make the army stronger just in case
>After Pink Skins rape Persia to death move in and annex what we can
>Then open up diplomacy with Pinkies