Tell me Veeky Forums, what's the strangest thing one of your players stole?

Tell me Veeky Forums, what's the strangest thing one of your players stole?

A rubber duck.

A copy of Super Mario Bros.
In Star Wars.

Explain.

Zaytsev's Nagant & Blokhin's Walther.

Silverware. All the silverware she came across.

My willingness to DM.

A derpy little single-seat electric car when a variety of cars that were better in any conceivable way were equally available. There were several that were less conspicuous, literally all of them were faster and handled better, one or two that had better energy efficiency, one was a motorcycle that was significantly smaller and faster. iirc, there was even one painted in the same color.
But instead of any of those, he took the derpy electric tricycle that some poor schmuck had previously used to drive a mile or two from home to the office and back again daily.

My heart

One player once stole her own soul.

The tabletop, came downstairs to see him trying to fit it through the door (I made it on site so wouldn't fit easily) with his mate outside.

Ew, why would they want that?

Why?

Full of protein

I'd imagine because it was a mighty fine table.

I'm more interested in the chain of logic leading to trying to steal an entire table from your GM. Like, at what point this seemed like a reasonable course of action?

Well, in that regard I got nothing.

that is completely normal.

I once ended up stealing a bunch of magical weapons from a god or someone.

>supposed to be playing something else that night, end up playing a one-off of heroes unlimited
>I'm the last to find out, everyone else rolled characters so i went ruffling through my folder and found a rifts earth time mage or something from great britain and say fuck it and play him
>the game was basically a ripoff of some anime which was basically pokemon but instead of little shits that fight for you its people instead and the giovanni equivilant of it all was apparently the dude from the epic of gilgamesh
>so everyone starts fighting and i lay the fuck low because i'm not playing a goddamned superhero like everyone else who can fly and shit
>bbeg shows up and starts throwing swords at everyone, kills or incapacitates most everyone else before turning on me
>use some magic bullshit to open a portal right in front of me as the barrage ensues, all the shit he's throwing at me goes into my pocket dimension or something and i nope the fuck out and hop in too.

you can't just leave it at that.

literally had dinner last night with a girl who pocketed a fork from the Ted's we ate at. "it's such a huge fork! It'll make a great dinglehopper for an Ariel cosplay!"

/thread

This is normal. College canteen reflect cost of replacing stolen cutlery into the food prices. This leads to students stealing more cutlery because "hey, if we're already paying for this anyway, we might as well take some". It's a vicious circle.

>Accidentally box up a piece of cutlery from wherever I'm eating
>Get home and realize it later
>feel kind of bad
>Realize it's actually much better in terms of functional design than my normal cutlery
>Bad feeling evaporates
God damn my life is boring shit

No, it was a shittily written spoof of Fate/Zero not an epic post.
No /thread

While my players were investigating a derelict Imperial Cruiser, they were searching one of the quarters for survivors. Spotting a towel on the floor, one of the players decided to take it and stuff it in his backpack. They've been on three missions since then, without even mentioning the towel.

Sorry went for hike, was a friend from childhood who, as it later turned out, resented me for not getting into drugs with him. I invited him after moving back to my hometown and wanting to reconnect (I had heard about the drugs and decided although I didn't approve having sober friends would help him a bit). So he and his friend (fellow junkie I assume) decided to clear out my house and what better time then when he arrives an hour early for the game (don't know what he was thinking, as I only went upstairs for like 5 minutes). After confronting him about what the fuck he was doing he starting screaming about how he hated me threw the tabletop at me and ran off.

pillars

Was the table okay?

story?

remember to bring your towel

A door.

I'm guessing they sold their soul and wanted it back.

Go away Shirou

Wow, fuck that guy. He sounds like a little bit who blames other people for his own failings at life.
Then again, he is a druggie, so that's normal.
I hoped you called the cops on his ass.

Yeah, pretty much just some planks of wood I stuck together and bolted to a metal frame.
Nah, his parole officer instead.