Go to Friday Night Magic

>Turn the oxygen generator to maximum
>Everyone gets carbon monoxide poisoning

>smoking indoors at all
>smoking around collectible cards

>Not smoking your cards to give them a nice smoky scent

>not scenting your cards
>not playing a high tide deck that smells like the ocean
>not playing a burn deck that smells like smoke
>not playing lantern control that smells like your own farts

>not smoking to prepare your cards for preservation
pleb, it's like you want microbes to eat your cards in their hermetically sealed sleeves.

>sleeves
>not carbon fiber cases

What a pleb

>you can't make sleeves out of carbon fiber

>There are people who don't quadruple sleeve their decks

>You will never make a Top Gear themed vehicle deck complete with Carbon Fiber sleeves

>There are people who actually play their decks and not leave them in a pressurized glass case

>there are people who can't shuffle pressurized glass cases
Manlets go please.

My level is so overleveled next to your level levelit's like your level level compared to his level level my level.

I laughed harder than I should have.

Only quadruple? I'm disappointed. Septuple sleeve your cards if you care about them

>people in this thread, RIGHT NOW, actually look at their cards instead of storing them in a vacuum sealed safe, in a building you specifically built to be 30 stories high in a location accessible only by drone, 12 floors beneath basement level in a corridor reachable only by elevator, but you cut the elevator cable years ago and climbed out slowly pouring cement in the shaft behind you, in a room with eight different locks all of which require a different scrambled 24-character password, each of which only your best friend knows but you killed him three months ago because he mentioned one single digit of one of the passwords to his mom

My sides are on alpha centauri

>Not storing your cards on alpha centauri.

...

>storing your cards in this dimension

>His cards aren't abstract concepts

>Actually having physical manifestations of your cards instead of storing their thought-forms in the endless tunnels of an eldritch being's mindscape.

Some people have asthma

>the red-haired one blows smoke into your face
>get a boner

>higher level of level

Who the fuck allows smoking near the mtg cards? They will lose their smell

Chair... dispenser? You mean your LGS makes you pay to sit down? Man, they must not want business or something.

>an
>he doesn't have a RAID array of eldritch mindscapes and multiple offworld backups

>There are people who don't encase their cards in blocks of amber

Maybe your lungs should stop being such little bitches.

But do you lose a level level if you need to rez and there's no cleric nearby?

>There are people who don't encase their cards in amber, store them in Fort Knox and play with a basket full of cameras with pictures of the cards right before being encased in amber and only showing the pictures to judges while the cameras are inside a fortified bunker and only way for the judges to see them is through a reverse periscope that shows a mirror with the reflection of the cameras that are in the adjacent room that has been welded shut save for one clear diamond window from which the reflection comes from

>Inside a store
>Any level of smoking

What is it like living in a 3rd World country?

I wouldn't know. How is It living in a bureaucratic fascist shithole?

Well our new dictator is going to disband the bureaucracies for not being fascist enough so it's getting better.

>people in this tread actually use their cards to play instead of never opening them before storing them in the rafters of the Sistine chapel

I'm not a loser like you, OP.

You guys have any advice about the correct place to leave your falcon during FNM's? I mean, my opponent has his on the table and I find it really annoying when I ask if a spell resolves and his falcon just fucking screeches.

Pic related, I have one of these

>with a basket full of cameras with pictures of the cards

Funny, that's how most of my vintage matches go. It's way cheaper.

>Players smoking near me
>Can't smell my cards
>Can't tell what the next card is by its unique scent
Fucking inconsiderate assholes.

>there are people in this thread who actually play with cards instead of making decks of printing press plates

>using plates
>not dedicating a numbered press to each individual card and drawing numbers out of a hat

>people itt play MtG
You don't play games here. Just bitch about them.

what the hell is going on in this thread

No, i just level around until I find a leveled cleric of level level the level god of levels so he can level my level again to my former level

Just teach your falcon to play too, that way you both can have fun.

Wait your lgs has a smoking section
Thats retarded a good 70% of our players are smokers and you are still expected to go outside.

The fuck happens when a smoker gets paired up with a non smoker

Where the fuck do you live user

>LGS has mandatory pre match showers
>people still reek after it
How the fuck does this happen?

Why would lanterns smell like farts

Gas lanterns.

Im pretty sure lantern of insight is powered by magic gas

They shower in piss, probably.

Whenever you go combo for arbitrary large number, you announce it's six million, even though in reality it's really just couple thousand at most.

I try to keep my level of level level

>Go to Friday Night Magic
>The non-smoking section is full
>Realize you've traveled back in time
>Run to warn everyone about Bill Cosby
>And 9/11 I guess

>Run to warn everyone about Bill Cosby
Fuck that im making preperations to prove rolf harises innocence

I should visit Veeky Forums more often, this is my favorite thread of the week

Remember the six million tokens I sacrificed to fuel my combo!

>showering in filthy microbe-laden water instead of clean, sterile urine

>there are people in this thread who don't digitize your collection so they live on forever in the cloud

>Police find man unconcious in own house
>Holes drilled in the walls for more oxygen intake
>Man seems comatose, note lies on the ground near
>"Must achieve higher level of level"

Quints say the truth. From now on, I'm showering in piss.

For once, quints are not wasted.

Falcons unfortunately lack the dexterity to shuffle decks or draw hands, so that's not an option.

However, maybe you can get the falcon to be a referee? He/she can't possibly be worse then the usual crop.

>Cosby, 9-11

It all makes sense now. The planes weren't hijacked, their pilots were given time released roofies.

> playing MTG ever

implying that standing isn't the superior way to play your Chinese children card games

Where I'm from, there is no smoking section.
Just the "Go the fuck outside" section.
That's not my house. That's everywhere.

Sorry friend, unrine is not steril, it turns out.

t. microbiologist

>he doesn't know how to level his level
Get on our level, nerd.

>backups
>devaluing your cards yourself

He wouldn't need to shuffle the cards with his physical limbs if you would store them on fort know/alpha centauri/ as abstract concepts or in an elder beings mindscape like reasonable, sane people.

You're right, the only real games take place in the un-time where the players can battle wielding the very essence of their cards without being restricted by physical concepts such as smoke,space-time, or bathroom breaks

Just smoke, don't be a pussy

>Just voluntarily get lung cancer, don't be a pussy
smokerfags ae the worst

>there are people in this thread who don't realize bit rot is a thing

surely they'd be called fagsmokers?

>be afraid of cancer
lol what a pussy

fagsmokerfags?
you got me, its true, i am scared of my own body consumeing itself
what a coward i am

Well aren't you the master of your own body?

Wasn't there a Yu Gi Oh episode where boob lady scented her cards so she could play without looking at them?

>million
fucking plebs
77 trillion or bust

>Not containing your cancer though source of will

Level your level, my man.

That's how I scent my Ensnaring Bridges

>source of will
What is the source of will

So Hasbro kicks out Magic players with criminal histories, if the SJWs scream about them, because they "want players to feel safe", but doing something that actually physically harms other players is just fine?

>>there are people in this thread who don't digitize your collection so they live on forever in the cloud
Wizards of the Coast has history on stealing people's virtual cards, so good luck with that.

Well being of customers != well being of PR numbers

Well let's hope that comes back to bite them in the ass long term, including in PR numbers.

Yup it was more so she could tell her next card than it was to show off. It's hilarious because the main character uses Egyptian voodoo to bring his cards to the top of the deck and still has the audacity to call her a cheat.

>It's hilarious because the main character uses Egyptian voodoo to bring his cards to the top of the deck and still has the audacity to call her a cheat.
Magically manipulating probability is totally different from essentially peeking at your deck.