You have 10 seconds to be as "that guy" as possible

I cast black tentacles
>he said for the 10th time

This is why my group is given paper plates and plastic cups, they don't get trusted with glass

I want to play a Kender.

...

It's what my character would do.

I refuse to abide by this tyranny

>That guy who made that guy threads

*drinks all the beer you brought for the session*

I pick a guys magic deck from the table, toss it in the air and shout 52 PICK UP!

I don't apologize when someone knocks into me.
I don't hold the door for someone.
I don't tip

Let's talk about the greatest primarch.

Pathfinder and D&D are for power fantasies. There shouldn't be narrative.

"I want to play Pathfinder."

Nailed it.

"Actually, it's about ethics in dungeon crawling"

"I post on Veeky Forums"

>"I know you said you weren't allowing those books in this game but I used them anyway because my build doesn't work without them"
>"Yeah I got a..." (picks up die to look, thinking he's clever by concealing the real result) "...19. Does that hit?"
>"I hate this system, can't we just play 3.5 / Pathfinder?"
>"I want to play Goku" (not a martial artist who shoots ki blasts, not a combat-loving but goodhearted idiot who is like Goku, but literally just Goku, and likely in a game not designed to support high-powered martial arts)
>"Here, I wrote up a homebrew race/class I want to play"

Thicken your paints.

I describe my character and don't hide my erection.

D&D is perfectly balanced and it's not only right but also proper that spellcasters are so much more powerful than martials, because it's totally realistic.

(me)

Oh, and I give nothing but mechanical choices on the sheet and say nothing about what the character is like outside looks, race, class, etc.

>Making statements that were true for exactly one edition

"If anyone plays a martial, I'm leaving. I refuse to carry dead weight in this party."

I'm not going to use a fucking coaster you narcissistic troglodyte. If your table was worth protecting you wouldn't even need coasters to protect it anyway, you'd use varnish, and I'm not going to go through the effort of looking away from whatever I'm doing and carefully aiming at that little piece of cardboard fascism you shackled me with every time I want to take a fucking drink. Seriously, if you aren't going to take the effort to protect your table from everyday use then don't push that burden onto your guests.

I'd rather go without a drink than use your fucking coaster. Seriously, coasters are one of the cardinal sins that a host can inflict upon their guests. It shows that you're too lazy to spend 20 seconds wiping down you table, and would rather force your guests to manage with the table equivalent of a plastic wrapped couch. When you hand me a coaster it tells me that your opinion of me, as a guest, is less than the cost of a can of varnish, why the fuck would I want to stay in your shitty, unkempt apartment after that. Seriously, what's next, are you going to hand me a feather duster and tell me to clean the couch every time I get up? Don't want the plastic getting smudged?

If you're going to buy furniture, actually use it. And if you aren't willing to do that at least don't force your byzantine cleanliness rituals on your guests.

old memes = bad memes
forced old memes = worse memes.

I houserule so that female characters get -4 to Strength and Constitution by default.

Look, 3.5 is just a matter of tradeoffs. Once a Wizard blows his spells he's done. But the Fighter can keep swinging his sword all day. I don't get why you don't think it's balanced.

That's some saucey pasta

*Make a black character*
*immediately attack a guard*
LOL DINDU NUFFIN XD
*Gets killed by guards*
wtf SJW GM

Also a -2 to all rolls while menstruating.

Any other kind of exalted having nice things goes against Solar Protagonism as a concept, you'd have to be retarded to not see that.
Also last edition's most loved supplements ,the very same supplements that revives the game for a while saving It from complete obscurity, are shit And You're shit If you liked them.
Whoever was the smart idea to give Infernals cool thematic powers and to link them to the overreaching metaplot by the way? Sure we did It with Abyssals but that's different,
Yeah I promised the game was allready in betatest and coming out by 2012 but actually we haven't even started writing It still, And I'd much rather pass my time on Twitter calling gamergaters racists than writing it down. Deal with It.
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A LIAR?
Resistance-playtesting games is for fascists and people with no immagination. I'd rather just try each scenario only once and magicaly derive informations on It's balancedness from tea leaves, thank you.
This game in wich You're a cyberdemon with magitechnology obviously doesn't need detailed rules about magitechnology.
This game in wich You're a beast out of mankind's collective unconscious obviously doesn't need rules to transform into a beast.
SJW ARE PEOPLE TOO! HOW DARE USE THE TERM ON MY FORUM!
You're banned because your homebrew scenario features NPCs following traditional gender roles. Out of there, subhuman conservative!
>>And it goes on!

Hold, i unserstand the -4 to str arguement even if I don't agree with it (even if you did implement stats based on sex -2 would more than cut it, plus trends dont necessarily affect the individual, and PC's are exceptional.) but who the FUCK argues for a con penalty? In fact ive seen people say that with the - to str they should get a + to con.
Im not upset, im just confused as to whether or not this is actually a thing.

>picks up someone else's model/card without asking

>Not greentexting
user there are some layers in that post and i hope it's intentional

>>it obviously took you more than 10 seconds to write all this down
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A LIAR?

My players have to roll CON checks to avoid getting drunk, and it's a well known fact that ladies can't hold their booze.

The ones who can are either lying, witches, or both.

Its not a thing. Not even -4 strength is a thing. Its just shitty bait, and always has been.

I was honestly just bullshitting. I decided for -4 to con when I decided I couldn't type 'and have a mobility penalty due to the large childbearing hips required for the era this game takes place in'. in ten seconds.

*rolls dice so hard they fly across the table and off every time I roll*
*everyone on that side has to spend 8 minutes finding the fucking thing*
dm tells me to reroll for some fucking reason?

>and he does it again

...

Hear hear I'm with this guy

"What class do you want to play?"
>"Which one's the best one?"

What are we playing? Ravenloft?
Cool, i'm gonna roll a dragonborn.

>Why isn't your list min maxed with all the best choices from tournament web lists user
>Why do you play with units you like using and know how to use well?

This one of the reasons i quit 40K

complaining about not having a healer when choosing to be dps

> hey bro can I have a beer?
> naw man do you have any ones in bottles?
> hey could I have a another?
> do you mind if I vape?
> hey man do you have any beer?

Specify it's BYOB next time. This should be common sense to most people but I guess not to the retards you wrangled into your house.

I feels ya bro.

> is invited into someone's home
> isn't willing to abide by their way of keeping their household in order

how does it feel to be sub-human garbage

Get on my level.

Fifth ed is boring, can we port this campaign to 3.5?

>I know you said are extinct in this setting but check it out, my character is the last !

Or for wargaming

>I know you said 500 points but I wanna boost it up to 1000 so I can use this cool new army :)
>Army is a broken pile of bullshit full of named characters

>after winning most of the game, tides slowly begin to turn
I give up, lets start again

That actually made me a little sick.

>takes 10 damage
>in a game where his character has 50+ health
"FUCK IT THIS IS TOO HARD WE'RE UNDERLEVELED FOR THIS IT'S GONNA BE A TPK WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BAD GM"

Pretty good show, but I feel like it took you more than 10 seconds to read this thread to that post, then put that reply together.

Literally how? I'm not the upper echelon of cleanliness, but even I'd have to put in a lot of effort to get that cheezy. That definitely isn't an accident.

Pulling out the big guns today

True, I originally wrote that while shitposting on /a/.
They didn't get the joke.

>Veeky Forums has /a/ crossboarders
why am I not surprised?

Just look at the Pathfinder threads and you'll see where they all post.

>hey I'm going to run a new character for Season 2 of the campaign
>uh, no I didn't stat up my new character or followers like you said to do weeks ago
>sorry, don't even even have much of a concept for them
>could you help me through char gen again?

The guy is fun to plat with and his characters turned out to be really interesting and fun, he's just a bit of a goober

In this case it's more like /a/ has a Veeky Forums crossboarder.

My favorite response to "I steal from the merchant in broad daylight, it's what my character would do" is "dying to 16 guards is also something your character would do"

I see you've never befriended an Irish, Scottish, Canadian, Mexican, French, German, Russian, or American girl.

>Pathfinder threads are filled with crossboarding cancer
I never would've guessed

Im going to try and fuck this Female NPC I just met.

>I forgot my modifier, that attack should've hit!

Those still can't hold their booze compared to men of those nationalities.

We got a bunch of /a/ refugees after quest threads from them were pushed over here

You can tell thanks to the influx of smug anime girl posters

I'll take a guy like that over what I usually get:
>Me: I'm running a game of [system] with Tim, Big Dan, Little Dan, and Cory, you want in on this?
>Him: yeah
>Me: Okay it starts in two months, Little Dan already made his character so I just need characters from you and the others
ONE MONTH REMAINS
>Me: Hey, you got some free time on the weekend? We can make your character, Tim finished his yesterday.
>Him: nah too busy
TWO WEEKS REMAIN
>Me: Cory finished his character, just waiting on you and Big Dan, you up for it this weekend?
>Him: it's cool, I'll get around to it, got lots of time
ONE WEEK REMAINS
>Me: Game starts next week dude, everyone's got their characters but you, I can walk you through the process if you want, I've got some time on the weekend
>Him: nah man it's fine
THREE DAYS REMAIN
>Me: Hey, three days left, you ready for the game? Got any ideas for your dude?
>Him: (no reply)
TWO DAYS REMAIN
>Me: Game's gonna start soon and I've got reasons for everyone's characters to come together, but I don't have your sheet yet. You gonna be ready in time?
>Him: (making plbplbplbplbplb noises with his finger and his lips)
ONE DAY REMAINS
>Me: Game starts tomorrow, everyone but you is ready, and you've brushed me off every time I've offered to help make your character. You still in or not?
>Him: (making farting noises with his mouth)
DAY OF THE GAME
>Me: Two hours until the game, I can quickly whip up a character with you. You up for it or not?
>Him: (literally fucking a dog)
GAME TIME
>Me: Okay, so your characters stand in the ruins of--
>Him: I don't have a character :(

...

hey guys u play LoL?

pound for pound?

u know nothing

I'm playing a gay cat girl knight who intends to use a potion of change sexuality to seduce the princess of the land

...

Roll for it.

>DM starts describe the setting and outline the available chargen options

Yeah, yeah, I already did up my stats, picked a race, class, feats, and I have my build planned out for the next thirty levels. It's cool if I use 3rd party rulebooks, right?

"So, it's like WoW?"

>Always drinking, always spilling shit
>"Hey man I forgot my dice, can I borrow a D10?" *grabs die with his greasy cheeto fingers before anyone can respond*
>"Hey I made this cool homebrew race and a class so can I run with him?"
>"My only flaw is my pride"
>*5 minutes after session was supposed to start* *get a text* "Hey guys I can't come tonight, I had some plans"
>Roll every die off table
>Rules lawyer
>"It's what my character would do"
>Any kind of stealing/physically attacking the party
>Katana
>Erotic roleplaying
>Ninja
>Lone wolf
>Brooding
>Does generic edgy guy deep voice
>Wolf familiar
>Complains about the setting at every available chance
>Eats all the snacks
>Yells at people for metagaming if they so much as check a chest for traps beforehand but always says they shouldn't do x because that's probably where the DM laid traps/monsters
>Tries to change system halfway through
Basically the basics

>Not even -4 strength is a thing.

That's where you're wrong, kiddo.

Yeah, 4e is. It'll never be topped and it's just so intuitive to new players.

>use a potion of change sexuality to seduce the princess of the land
Remove catgirl and it sounds like a decent plan to get political favor and money, if the rest of the party is on board with it

Of course I do

Where do you think I get all of my character ideas from?

No, fuck you OP. Why would I ever want to be "that guy", I mean it's clearly a shitty established concept. I don't care if you idiots are having fun pretending, being "that guy" hurts everyone involved. I've seen playgroups crumble because stupid plebs can't respect common human decency, and they have the audacity not to use coasters. Fuck you all, it's my house, my rules,and if you don't like it have fun never playing table top again.

>oh, the other player rolled a 35 to hit the trap-disabling button with their arrow?
>I USE TELEKINESIS AND LIFT THE ARROW UP MID-FLIGHT

Aforementioned crossboarder here.
Started on Veeky Forums, moved to /a/ and /vr/.
Quests are cancer.

>muh muh muh coasters

...