Dirty Veeky Forums Secrets

These threads are fun.

What secrets or opinions do you avoid revealing to Veeky Forums or your gaming group for fear of the reaction?

Other urls found in this thread:

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Y5Rba9kYyye7aqrsMTgBkXjVHBwRvQnXpG159XKqSZQ/edit#gid=0
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I just want to play a game.

I mostly stay in my DM's game out of pity, and without asking I'm sure I'm not the only one in the group. I'm not sure how much he can tell, but I've wanted to do either a different game or no game for a while

I love crunch. I don't need it per se, I don't always use it, and at the table much of it goes out the window unless we all agree something deserves to be looked up.

But yeah. I love crunch. Just as much as I love playing for the story and characters, actually.

Simulation and crunch seem like bad words on Veeky Forums these days, but IMHO it's like crunchy peanutbutter versus smooth. It's just a preference, and those two things in and of themselves are IMHO almost totally unrelated to how "narrative" or "gamey" a group or campaign actually plays.

I have seen narrative groups obsess over rules for hours and follow the book like a set of manacles. I have seen sim groups throw the book out the window in favor of a good story or keeping things fluid and moving. It's all just group playstyle and preference, and I feel like if people here actually played games they'd realize there's not much point in arguing this shit. Pick a game you like and play it, shut up, and stop harrassing others for differing opinions or playstyle preferences.

I hate Warhammer. At it's core, it's not that interesting. A bunch of lore that takes hours of dedication to read through, and a couple dozen more to keep up to date on. Then you have the expensive miniatures for table-top, which require their own painting and assembling. All in all, stupid as fuck.

Throw in that the only "Good" Warhammer RPG is Rogue Trader, and you can know why I hate it. (Yes, even Deathwatch is ass compared to the meh Rogue Trader). Just so someone doesn't bother to shout me down, I'll explain why.

> Entire premise is that you're going to shoot and kill things.
> This wouldn't be a problem.
> If you didn't die so often (Only War)
> If Corruption didn't kill you first (Dark Heresy)
> If you didn't accidently Tyrnaids (Death Watch)
At least in Rogue Trader, it's more to do with Wealth, which can be acquired outside of hoping you didn't Munchkin for days just to stay alive more than a session or two.

While I'm at it, I think the only 'Good' System that I've ever played is GURPs. The rest fit an extremely narrow area, and in certain cases (D&D) make no goddamn sense. Why on Earth can a trained soldier miss so many times, when he should functionally have a 1/2 chance of hitting? Oh right, because he's using a d20.

Fuck Caster superiority, too. Nothing is worse than having to choose between either hoping I don't die early game, or hoping I don't die late game. Or for that matter, fuck casters in general. I hate their spells, cantrips, everything. If one class is functionally superior to any+all classes, or any group of classes able to consistently beat class X, there better be lore for it. (For examples, Wizards kick just about everyone's ass, save for Sorcerers. Then lore speaking, Sorcerers and Wizards should rule the world.)

I'm tired man.
I know those feels all too well.

I play with my action figures... alone. I make pew pew noises too. I'm 38, PhD holder, lecturer and pricipal investigator of a research grant.

I honestly hate playing with them. They don't know rules, they don't try to RP, they don't even try to make their characters anything but a carbon copy of themselves every time. Even when they DM, they use the same fucking plot over and over again. Last time one of them DMed, they got bored and wanted to start over, and when we did, it was the exact situation but the NPCs had different names. They were still the same damn people.

The only thing they're good at is playing consistently.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Now with my group, everyone knows the rules, but nobody wants to roleplay, just "rollplay". They don't even attempt to make characters. They copy the characters from guides and attach no personality to them.

One of them made a character whose only concept was he fights with two shield. Didn't think of what he was doing in the setting, why he wanted to join our party, and didn't even come to the session with a name for his character. Just a filled out character sheet for a dual shield wielding fighter. Which, by the way, did pretty good in combat, not gonna lie.

I would honestly prefer that. Obviously if I was in your spot I'd still be complaining, but at least I wouldn't deal with people who hardly even understand how combat works.

im secretly rooting for climate change

Grass is greener.

I hope you both find groups more suited to your liking. I know it can be a bit of a fool's errand, but have you tried online gaming? My best group I ever have had is online, and I met them randomly over the years, introducing people as I met them.

Yes, I'm currently playing with a group of online friends and loving it, which is making me realize how much I dislike my RL group in comparison.

But enough about me, I'll let other people complain some.

Veeky Forums's got the space for all the threads it needs.

If it makes you feel better? Vent. Just go for it.

I'm sorry, I left out that at least your group plays consistently. There are times we'll play once a week for a month or two, and then not play at all for 3 months, then play once every two to three weeks, etc.

It's just like said, Grass is always greener.

>work at LGS
>run demo games
>don't know many of the rules
>sometimes ppl I'm showing game to knows better

I wish our "gamer girls" would GTFO if they're not going to put out. We have to cater to their tastes and mental disorders and all we get is serial heartbreaks, but everyone else is dead set on being sooooo inclusive.

I hate it when HFY posters swarm in on threads about different races and destroy any and all discussion with their insistence that playing humans and only humans is the only way to roleplay.
Sometimes I just wanna play an adorable cat wizard.

Why do you faggots - You know who you are- turn every discussion even moderately associated with religion into a shitflinging fest between empty-headed tippers and braindead Bible-thumpers with a dash of /pol/fags?
None of you know what you're talking about, so shut the fuck up.

Why not treat them like any other player of the games? Who aren't expected to put out?

I missed the old Urban Unease threads but they sound cool as anything. Anyone who remembers them gonna start a new one?

Link me to an Urban Unease thread in the archive and I'll make a new one now.

I cheated against my little brother in MtG.

I just had to. I am his older brother. He has to look up to me.

Kek. Spotted the acne covered autist with a horrid personality.

Consider prostitutes or death.

As long as you don't do it in tournaments where prizes are on the line, what's the problem with cheating in MtG?

I fucking hate Exalted. I hate it's inconsistent as fuck thematics, 18 years of fucking required reading, dedication to being as obscure as fuck and being totally unwiki-able, I hate it has to go out of it's way to avoid conventions for the sake of whatever the fuck it was trying to prove and instead only made itself even more fucking awkward to try and learn.

Fuck you Exalted, fuck you.

I genuinely enjoy the Grey Knights as a chapter, and find the whole "secret anti daemon weapon" faction to be really rad (though I still deeply abhor the literary acts of Your Spiritual Leige).

I unabashedly hate that humanity gets zero threads while beast races and xenos each get their own topic, despite the fact that none of them are interesting or have any personality besides LIKE HUMANS BUT--

It has legitimately made me want to run human-only games with xenos/monsters as an enemy to be eradicated and nothing else.

>humanity gets zero threads
We get the occasional thread about Ancient Egypt, African kingdoms, Chinese dynasties, aboriginal mythology, etc.

Unfortunately, it turns into cultural dickwaving pretty quickly.

I love the enormous assdevastation of that one guy, (at least, I think it's just one guy) who gets all bent out of shape for the "excuse me commissar" threads. Once a month or so I make a thread just to get a rise out of him.

>your gaming group

I had sex with every single one of them, and no one suspects it

I'm a yuropfag and I hate how Veeky Forums and americans play tabletop

...

you should make your TAs and/or research assistants play with you

I have never read and I've been DMing for 2 years, I just roll the dice behind the screen and tell a story. Whenever I get caught doing something wrong I just act smug and say It was on purpose.

. . . are you my player?

does it reaaaally make you angry? why?

>I unabashedly hate that humanity gets zero threads
Open your goddamn fucking eyes you retard holy fucking shit.

I used to play PnP either with my old schoolgroup or with some other people I got to know via a gaming club. With these I poured all my heart into preparations for every evening, almost autistically crafting as good a setting and environment and plot as I could. I also had a third group, which was online in a teamspeak pnp community. Same goes for how I prepared adventures there. I never ever felt like they really valued me, infact, with the teamspeak group, it was sometimes listeners who joined in regularly who basically offered me to donate via patreon because they enjoyed listening to my storytelling and the groups playing. I never accepted.
> got burnt out, in the end quit all three of these groups

I had and have a fourth (and now only) pnp group, whose core is me, my best buddy, his wife and another married couple. All working hard. these guys are brilliant:
> feed me till I can't eat no more
> one of the women always cooks some perfect meal
> the other usually bakes some crazy awesome cake
> they always provide drinks, so I could feasibly get drunk each night
the married couple especially found me dumbstruck:
> "hey user, we really appreciate you running these gamenights, we enjoy ourselves so much, and you storytelling for hours on end and prep time is really great, please ALLOW ME to invite you for what we order for dinner."
this had never happened before.
turns out, people with steady jobs - such as myself - really do appreciate a storyteller pouring time and effort into their leisure and enjoyment. something I never had with the university student crowd (IRL) or the oline crowd (in the teamspeak community).

Heres my dark secret:
I'm so burnt out from almost 15 years forever-a-GM, I have buttloads of stuff. But I just can't get myself to REALLAY tailor make the campaign and adventures for these guys, as I used to. For the non-appreciative groups I'd have checklists of flaws and how I could make them relevant in game (cont)

I custom mapped in photoshop for hours,
I had scripts and got people to drop by and speak some NPCs,
I made tokens and images and handouts for a buttload of NPCs,
I would write prophecies and handouts with storyarcs and narratives spanning months in advance, setting shit up so it was an organically developing world
I even ran weather simulations, created calendars of what would happen ingame to create a living sandbox environment.

I used to.

I don't anymore. For those guys, who really cherish and appreciate me, I can't bring myself to custom tailor a campaign for them.

Sure, I have LOADS of stuff I can recycle, including the above mentioned... But somehow I feel like I could do better by them. I had done better by people whom did not appreciate me - and now I am doing good (and realistically much better than most other GMs), but not as good as I could.

I feel like shit for that.

I feel like I don't reeeeally deserve their praise and their support.

:(

here
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Y5Rba9kYyye7aqrsMTgBkXjVHBwRvQnXpG159XKqSZQ/edit#gid=0

this is an example of the kind of calendar / timeline I'd make, and this is fucking incomplete and would need my notebooks(plural!) to be fully understood, basically only creating an outline of plots, an outline of whom to meet in preparation for later, which Info to make sure the players had so that it would come to them naturally what was going on at some later point.

I don't do this anymore.

I've played with my group a long, long time, and have gotten to the point where I have a pretty firm grasp of what they're going to do in a given situation. I'm not 100% predictive, but I'm like 90% predictive as to say, which group they'd side with if there's a "pick your faction" moment, or at precisely what point they'll decide to cut and run, that kind of stuff.

And instead of doing anything constructive with it, I instead deliberately build plot twists that I know they won't see coming, mostly in way that will punish them for not changing their minds in the wake of new information that is correct and reliable but presented in ways that I know they'll discount.


I probably shouldn't do this, and I'm not even 100% sure why I do it.

Yes.

I knew a dude like you,
though he was more extreme.
He would have the world and everything actively try to fuck over his group at every twist and turn, even to the point of absurdity.

I, too, sometimes do this, but not the way you describe it.
When I present my group with a problem, I make damn sure they have the possibility of learning ALL the information they can which pertains to the problem, and I make damn sure they have the possibility of making the right decision,
However, there is always a sandbox surrouding them,
there's always some kind of timer in the background, and they always know that they can't waste infinite time on any given problem.

this way, they get weigh themselves:
> How much time do we want to invest?
> How soon will we want to make a decision?
> are we confident we got all the info we can get?
> which approaches for problemsolving are most economical?

this way, they really know that if something is important (to them), they can make damn sure they will have a WIN in every regard, they can also streamline and optimize their tactics and strategies. Especially one of the players is really fucking good with taking leadership, distributing tasks and also keeping an eye on the clock.

it's really fucking enjoyable, if you do give your players the chance to succeed.

You can't just say that and not tell the full story!

I'm currently playing in a game where my character is a butch, straight-leaning bisexual barbarian woman. Because of her being butch and people not knowing that's my "type," nobody suspects that I'm waifu-ing all game by playing my dream woman.

>He would have the world and everything actively try to fuck over his group at every twist and turn, even to the point of absurdity.

See, I can't stand that, either as player or as GM. And I think in some ways what I do is worse, because another group would probably see through my gimmicks, but I deliberately put the clues in blind spots I know they have.

I also always put timers on. To me, it's just GMing a realistic world 101. There's always shit going on, and it prevents them from taking everything at maximum caution and showing all their best tricks on the first thing they encounter and then running away to rest.

I know that feel, I´m honestly kind of glad that I will have to search for a new group in a few months.
- One is a emotional unstable girl that only plays skyrim and reads Harry Potter fanfics (at 24)
- One is a passive agressive fatass, that always corrects me on useless trivia
- and one is actually pretty okay

And none of them can roleplay for shit (or try). Makes me sad when I listen to actual plays with great roleplay

I fucking hate MTG. I enjoy card games as a whole but its been 10+ years of the same fucking shit in different ways and I'm just so sick and tired of it.

I go out of town to play Cardfight Vanguard, Future Card Buddyfight, and Pokemon. All because I don't want to deal with my purist faggot ass friends who hate every game that isn't magic.

I have never actually played a pen&paper RPG

I like to work out what other players' fetishes are and make characters related to those fetishes and see how they react.

Dare I enter your magical realm?

I think my fetishes are horrible and you'll never get anything more than the most vanilla of what I like. I feel bad if I'm pandered to.

Be careful with that, next thing you know you're getting off to the thought of being her and taking the D from her NPC husbando.

How do you work them out?

its always rape and asphyxiation. every fucking time. Why are people so dull, even in their suppressed fantasies?

My fetish is quality people and interactions

What now

Good, when you fall for an NPC named Chad Thundercock you'll finally understand why girls don't like you and maybe that you were a faggot all along.

Well I don't like either of those, so there! Dubcon doesn't count, right?

You get your wish, but of course the other players' fetishes are there too.
>the perfect game

>Be careful with that, next thing you know you're getting off to the thought of being her and taking the D from her NPC husbando.
I'm sure I've gotten off to something like that before in my life.
Girls do like me.

>Chad Thundercock
user pls. Edgy Asshole Prince or nothing. Get on my level.

>I'm sure I've gotten off to something like that before in my life.
It's great, isn't it? How do some people miss being straight!

Uhm, I have two I think, forever dm here.

One is that I only really enjoy playing fantasy and not so much other genres.

Scifi? I would prefer 40k or spelljammer
Cyberpunk? Eberron.

So when my players ask for anything that isnt fantasy, I tend to not have the full drive to run the campaign and make the world around, and the games come not as good as I wanted. The players still enjoy well enough tho. its more of a personall weight.

The other is that I have a thing for one of my players, but I have enough sense to know the hetero guy who likes small young gals from anime will not try to go with a dude build like a Jojo character. So sometimes I put a loli (a weird merchant, a forest spirit, etc) to fuck with his realm a bit, other players dont mind and joke together, as I do that to their fetishes too sometimes, the thing he dont know is that I am projecting a bit into the cute little girl.

(OP)
I love, I adore the 40k lore/setting, the vidya gaems, the novels, even some of the fanfic...but have absolutely no interest in buying and painting the little resin men or playing the actual table-top game. Sorry. That shit sounds unbelievably time consuming, money draining and boring.

If tomorrow GW announced, "you know what? Fuck the tabletop bullshit, we're teaming up with 343 (or better yet RESPAWN) and going all vidya" I wouldn't be able to stop cumming. Titanfall: Mechanicus. Oh Jesus, Krishna, Allah and Buddha let it be so, Amen.

I agree with you. As someone who played the tabletop, I can assure you you aren't missing much. fuck, when the first dawn of war came out, I sold half my models and gave the other half away.

Just hope it ends up in the hands of better studios than RESPAWN or (god help us) 343.

I once played a strip version of Ascension: Storm of a Souls with a trap. I lost my panties and blouse but I kept my skirt and won the game.

I fucked one of the players of the online game I was DMing. That wouldn't be a surprise to any of the players, but I also gave him a secret ERP session for his actual character between normal sessions.

I prefer computer RPGs to tabletop

Martial-only characters are boring as fuck.

Doubly so if the person playing said character is himself boring as fuck.

Are you male or female? Did you just meet up with this person you only knew from online and pounded it out? How was it?

>(god help us) 343.
What? Halo 5 is fantastic fun, and TF2 is full on GodEmperor-tier. Imagine one of those studios making a game involving the Skitarii or the IG.

>spoiler tags no longer work in my posts
>even when I copied them direct from the FAQ
That's...weird.

I feel like I am bad at TTRPG and want to quit, but my group says my character is important, so I continue to play, despite feeling like shit pretty much the entire time. I find it difficult during combat not to make obviously shitty decisions to die, which echoes my actual desire to end it all.

I also hate the anime fluffytail bullshit as much as furry bullshit. I have dealt with both, and they are poison.

Mechanically it might be fine but 343 has severely dicked so many things about Halo that they'd have to cure every disease in this world before many old fans would even acknowledge their existence.

Don't call Titanfall 2 TF2.

There's already a TF2 and it's infinitely better.

Maybe in the past, but current TF2 is in sad shape.

Dunno about that. I still log in and play now and then, and it's still pretty fun. At least far better than CoD/CS/etc

This is true sempai. The new lore is, as my friend put it, like 343 needs to constantly one up everything that Bungie did with their worldbuilding. And they are no longer subtle about shit, and are actively ignoring previously established lore.

I'm a guy. Sometimes I wear panties to RPG sessions and board game nights.

Not really. I can count how many other games have been around for as long as TF2 and kept a large, active playerbase on one hand.

>TF2
Never played it. I'm willing to give it a shot but it'll have to kick mucho ass before it can even approach Titanfall 2.

>yfw there's no Call of Duty: Krieg
We live in a bad universe brothers and sisters.

>mucho
Stay away from it. Far away.

We don't want your kind. You'll drag everyone down.

I DM for my superior at work and some of our mutual friends.
Sometimes the dude goes overboard and I don't feel comfortable reigning him in because of our work relationship.
And the fact that he's usually drinking alot/coming off an acid trip doesn't help.
I started scheduling my college classes for when we would normally play and tell everyone it can't be helped instead of confronting him.

I'm 35 and have rental properties. I play 40k 2nd and 3rd editions with myself. I cant stand the kids at the only lgs.

I am a cuck nigger homosexual who calls others faggots on /b/.
also I fuck animals
OP faggot kys
sage

Kindly eat my shit, gringo.

when I'm making D&D characters my only factor for choosing my race is ability score bonuses.

Your tastes are so stereotypically spic, how can you live with yourself

Im finding few and fewer threads that are relevant to my interests, and those I do tend to die off with little discussion at all. Worldbuilding threads are just talking at one another usually, instead of being each other's editors and such, thing is I also don't really create threads either that are relevant to me, simply because I have very little content to share myself.

I wish there was some kind of game design/mehcanics finder thread, where you discuss game mechanics, and explore and find what games have what mechanics, what kinds of games suit what you want to play.

I dunno, this is all meta bullshit anyways and Veeky Forums shuns it so that's why I don't say or try anything.

I have too many projects going on at once because i'll have an idea, binge develop it, then basically abandon it for a new flavour of the month, usually inspired by some piece of media I've consumed recently.

>Wow a game created by nerds makes wizards, sorcerers and mages the most powerful!

It's just power tripping fantasies but you're right about caster editions and I love to play Wizard classes.

WH40k has the most retarded fucking designs I've ever seen. I was going to say that the lore is fucking retarded but I realized I didn't actually know that much about it so i went and looked it up. Pretty dumb, but not nearly as stupid as i thought it was so I opt to say that the armour and shit is stupid as fuck. Maybe i'm just sick of people sucking 40k's dick all the time.

I've never been to a well run game of anything, I own the core rule books and almost all the official splat books for pathfinder and all the 40k rpgs, as well as the core books for dnd 3.5, 4e and 5e.
The area I live in has a few groups but won't accept anyone without having played with them before.

I tried being a Gm before but even after years of speech therapy I still stutter.

Whatever. Sorry that I don't have shit taste. Such is the life of a discerning gentleman of quality.

I've imagined myself as a woman ever since I was young, but I don't know whether I'm legitimately trans (if transsexuality even exists) or have some other deep-seated problem. I'm way too old to transition anyway, so the point is moot.

Sometimes I dream magic is real and I get "cursed" with sex change, so I can transition without the stigma of wanting to be a woman.

i routinely kill off player characters if its clear that the rest of the party is sick of them

I hate comedy in my games. I'm seriously fucking tired of it.

It's probably because since I started doing D&D/RPGs as a job, it's been the only thing I've been allowed to do, or because every time I put together a new crew to play with, they're pretty much incapable of or unwilling to actually dip their toes in drama, intrigue, or anything more complex than dick jokes, when all I want to do is have players develop some sort of connection with the NPCs or the world.

I'm just...tired of it. I get that people love humor, I get that it's easy to go to and fills in gaps in games, and I get that being serious is hard.

But I just want to play with someone willing to try?

I love/hate my current GM. He's exceptionally smart, very well read, good at running the game and covers things like themes and such in game that feel natural and well done. But he's also hyper-demanding and the party we've formed up is basically interested in poking and prodding the world and getting to know things and interacting with characters. He wants to go 1001 miles per hour and doesn't care what we think. The guy is a douche and will treat you like an idiot if you don't match his intellect. He's a complete and total insufferable genius in all ways shapes and forms.

I bet you've never even played Marathon, you disgusting prole.

I honestly love taking two different settings and figuring out how to make a crossover that both respects both settings and creates an interesting story to read/play a game in.

So if i'm gonna stick entirely to PnP franchises it'd be tempting to mix super heroes into Shadowrun, Entirely because Batman Beyond made me fall in love with Cyberpunk super heroes.
>Runners having to dodge corp sponsored heroes
>Local Troll gains super speed, tries to make his part of the barrens safer by fighting off go gangers
>In the Balkans some gypsy born warlord carves out a country for himself. Lofwyr and the CC are not pleased with this but don't want to resort to thor shots just yet.

I trained some people at my seasonal job a month ago and we ended up on the topic of RPG's and my entire set of trainee's (3 of them) were super deeply interested in it. I spent a week just telling them about the stories I had from previous sessions and describing how the whole thing works, who a GM is, what roleplaying is, everything. I even tell them about a game I'm making and how my friend and I are looking for playtesters. I suggest that we should all get together some time to go play a session so I set up a Facebook group to send out messages and polls for what day and times work best for everyone. I spend a whole week slaving over a fun idea for a first session (setting up rooms that teach certain mechanics, coming up with tables of drops that would fit any kind of build they might make so that they have cool items, come up with a story and detailed setting for them to explore). The entire week I am setting all of this up, no one sends a single response. The notice says that everyone saw it, but no one has responded at all. I talk to them at work and they all say they saw but didn't say anything...

Whatever, maybe if I set a hard and fast date and ask them to show up, I'll at least get some people to come in. I put the finishing touches on the session, I cook a bunch of snacks, and I pack it all up to the LGS (who allows food in the rooms) and wait... all day...

Mfw they never showed up or sent any messages saying they wouldn't make it. I handed out the food to the players at the DnD night and went home.

You poor soul, I feel for you. Who hurt you? WHO?!?!?

Don't get me wrong some of the HFY is pretty dire.
like fan-fiction dire.

but...

I love the ones that paint humanity in a interesting or different light, the ones that take something mundane like cooking or exercising and blow it out of proportion.

Also I find it a refreshing change from
"aliens are better at everything"

>Marathon
>1994-6 vidya gaem series
Holy shit gramps I wasn't even alive yet then.

And?