Meanwhile, in goblin Veeky Forums

the day Veeky Forums burned

Holy shit its the tripfag himself

You are not real

>Not liking tall Human women
>Not wanting to fall in love with cute human barmaid
>Not wanting to protect her from "Adventurer" assholes who Try to get grabby with her
>Not wanting a relationship to blossom as you come to work there as security, you keeping her safe from unruly customers and she vouching for you in front of the townsfolk.
>Not wanting to Elope with her, against her parent's wishes because she loves you than much
>Not wanting to settle down with her and have a bunch of tall half-human kiddies.

Your taste is plebian faggot.

Holy shit I hate my players so much.
So I allowed them Volo's book of extended races, and now they're all playing some retarded special snowflake half-human half-elf.
I wish I never allowed them to play that stupid shit, how was I supposed to know they'd make characters like Bob from accounting and Steven of the copy-room.

All I wanted was one game filled with Skarsniks.
Just one game, Veeky Forums, is it too much to ask?

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FUCK THE TRIP

holy shit that pic is disgusting

who rly gives a shit

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>Half-human half-elf

You mean a Half-Elf, which is something that's been a viable option since the beginning of time?

>Volo's book of extended races

Sounds to me you wanted something that you didn't deserve.

The only good Gobbo is a dad one.

>implying half-elves belong in H&H
they belong as much as wizards: not at all

Source?

How do i roleplay a human exactly? i don't really get it.
I mean, why do they even ride the horse things, they don't have maws or claws or anythin', fucking stupid.

That typo is damning, stinking gobbo lover!

Manga called "Goblin Slayer". The guy is literally doom guy combined with Gotrek, but h only kills Goblins.

>twf wil nevr adventrew wif cooty haflign prnicsess

WIY EEVIN LIV

>Nexb typed on his jury rigged Junkyard computer, that was powered by 3 running hamsters
>"Hah, that'll show them high-falutin' city goblins fed likin humanfolk!" Though Nexb " what with their clothes and warm food and san-i-tay-shion!"
>He then hear a voice from deeper in the dark dank cave call for him
>It was his wife, who was also his Sister, calling him down that it was his turn to make the next batch of goblins
>Nexb ran deeper into cave as quickly as possible, thinks how lucky he was to be the husband of the brood spawner so he got have sex TWICE a month instead of just once
>inside the cave he saw the large blob of fat that was his wife/sister
>Her leg weakly motioned towards the putrid orifice that once could have been called her vagina
>wasting no time Nexb plunged into her and came in about 11 seconds,
>The journey back to his computer was pleasant, and his dysentery only made him stop 3 times on the way back up
>But when he looked back, saw that someone had replied to his post.

post more SAD

how sad can you go?

>Tfw no Big, Strong, Human Boyfriend to snuggle with or protect me
>Twf when live in backwater, greenneck, swamp tribe, so my only options are my cousins or my half-brother
>Tfw older sister died so I'm gonna be expected to be matriarch

Soon as I can, I am sneaking out of this dump. Until then, it's just wait and suffer.

We all know what gnolls are for, right?

>Roast on spit of big fire
>Lather on BBQ sauce

Call him a sissy Dwarf and tell him the number of Gnomish inventors who actually made something that people use today can be counted on one hand.

sǝpnp ʎɯ dn s,ʇɐɥʍ

Watchdogs.

>tfw goblin-imouto
>tfw goblin-imouto wants the D from me

ban he mods

YER NOT RIGHT IN DA HEAD

Wait, isn't that the Gnome god?

Oh god, I just got an idea for next session

>Gnomes worship Garl Glittergold, think he's a Gnome
>Party runs into Goblins
>All goblins also worship Garl Glittergold, think he's a Goblin
>Neither race knows about the others worship of the god, nor their thoughts on his race
>Players discover this on accident

It writes itself!

When did you realize that goblins are always subservient to orcs?

kek

It triggered me too. Triggered major keks

Anyone else here sick of humans? They're so unimaginative, every fucking time we start a campaign at level 1 the first enemies are humans. Every. single. time. Why? Just because TolkTolk wrote about humans once doesn't mean every fantasy world needs to be full of humans. And don't get me that "Tuckers Humans" thing, that's just a DM using his imagination to make something boring halfway fun again.

I want some more varied low level enemies, like elves or politicians.

maybe if we stopped making entire races nothing but good-aligned low-level hole intruders or caravan guards we'd have more interesting campaigns all around?

I mean, it's true that the bog-standard tolk tolk fantasy human variant is about as subtle at being a good dudes race as a sparkling holy symbol radiating well-meaning intentions (tall, lives in sunny above-ground villages, with all it's teeth on the inside of its mouth? Really?) but that doesn't mean it can't be done. Use your imagination, it's an rpg dammit.

Or just play a game where you are the goblins.

I never before knew I needed this.

>talking shit about Gotrek
The manga has good rape. That's it. If the author isn't a faggot, he'll realize rape is what the readers want.

...

Oh please, we've all seen settings that try to put a "variation," on those Tolk Tolk Humans, but at the end of the day they're all the same. The only time I've ever seen humans done originally was as loincloth wearing axe-swining rage-filled Barbarian warriors, and guess what? THOSE ARE JUST ORCS! The only way to make humans interesting to make them not humans!

If RPGs are going to evolve as a medium we need more creative antagonists! Can you imagine defending your warren from a tribe of Nagas? Or attacking a Centaur caravan? Or raiding a Drow village for young maidens? The possibilities are endless!

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boy do i love me some goblins

I'VE GOT YOU NOW, DAN BACKSLIDE!