ITT: DM bullshit

>be me
>lv 20 wizard
>basically a god, can shape the material plane however I want
>DM wants to introduce new super-speshul players
>We're supposed to make everything nice and comfy for them
>fuckthisshit.jpg
>smash everything the party builds up
>go out of my way to invent the very concept of fire, ice, coldness, death and destruction just to spite the DM
>party turns on me
>they all rolled shit classes, and can't do anything against me
>DM asspulls a superpowered fighter who just beats me before I can do anything against him
>DM wants to give me time to calm down
>party declares me BBEG of the new gampaign
>I'll stay just to be a pain in all their asses.
ITT: We actually post scenes in Veeky Forums-related greentext

fucbois like you are the reason people don't play

>be you
>be that guy
A thread died for this you scum bag

I'm sorry OP, you should probably have worded the spoilered text better, and don't seem to get it.

>Total noob at GURPS
>Decide to make a psychic that isn't supernatural
>Forget to take basic skills
>"Don't worry I'll come up with something"
>Also decide to take a flaw that makes it near impossible to attack humans due to psyche limits
>Introduced, have to meet with another player
>This player is a jerk by the way, "My past is so edgy my pet was killed in front of me narf narf narf" as a justification for killing innocent people.
>Plan was to team up and have shit go from there but he's all "I work alone narf narf narf"
>Guy rolled up a character similar to mine, but flooded all his points into raw strength.
>rollinitiative.jpg
>Since I invested in range and grapple I'm able to pin him from a distance he can't touch me.
>DM pulls bullshit and a human shows up, shutting down my attacks
>The cunt then goes and attacks me, and gratuitously describes how he slices off my leg and rips off my other three limbs
>DM pulls another bullshit and has me get some reinforcements
>That guy escapes despite there being at least eight pairs of eyes on him
Fuck this shit

New to the thread, but I didn't get it until I glanced at the filename, which I don't always do.

Lessee

>Be playing a courtly intrigue RPG
>My main IC rival is my younger brother, who has a cleaner claim to legitimacy than my character does.
>Long, longstanding rivalry.
>Finally lure him out of the city, to face a duel in the wilderness
>Get the upper hand, I knew spending those points on fencing was a good investment.
>Don't want the murder traced back to me, so I don't kill him, just leave him beaten half to death, and drag him to a locale where there's a plague going on, and figure he'll bite it without further intervention.
>Long time passes
>King disappears
>Other siblings forming a cabal against me, but maneuver them away from the throne, and to put myself on it.
>Manage to get the super-MacGuffin in the bargain too.
>Remember that brother I disposed of? Pops up out of fucking nowhere, leading a quarter of a million man army
>Oh yeah, his troops are retardedly bullshitly overpowered too, much better than mine.
>Still, through use of McGuffin and some treachery, manage to defeat his forces, capture him, and imprison him.
>He launches a fucking deathcurse, which fucking sticks, despite NOT ACTUALLY DYING.
>Teleports out despite that supposedly being impossible
>Comes back with another fucking army, this time with guns.
>Meanwhile, his deathcurse has been causing endless waves of monsters to attack my city
>And the McGuffin is killing me, which I only find out when the DM passes me a note saying that I've got a -8 Con penatly from it and am now dead.
>Leave stupid game in disgust.

Bump for actual interesting thread

>Investigation one-shot
>Playing a cyborg cop in a dystopian near-future setting, have a laser cannon built into my arm, as well as a whole host of communication equipment.
>Sent to investigate this one private hunting lodge where people have been randomly disappearing.
>Oh look, it's The Most Dangerous Game all over again.
>Go in, poke around
>Get caught by evil guys running it.
>Turns out it's less The Most Dangerous Game and more evil genetic engineers playing God
>Turn me loose in the hunting preserve, after turning off all my cyborg enhancements (Da fuck!?)
>Now it's survival.
>Spend most of the session dodging animals with genetically modified hands and weapons.
>Eventually break my way back into the compound, kill the two main bad guys and their genetically engineered gorilla by squeezing off a shot from my laser arm inside the gorilla's mouth.
>Call for help, have big battle at the end of my fellow cops and the armed animals.
>No reward or nothing, except that I'm going to get a bigger laser cannon at the end of it (my arm gets fucked up from sticking it in super-gorilla's mouth) which might mean something if this weren't a goddamn one shot.
>Never actually did any real investigation. Stupid lying railroad DM.

>Join up this blunt, kind of dumb, "hoo-rah" mil-fic game.
>Is apparently just shoot and shoot and shoot some more.
>Not really that interested, but best bud is all excited over it, so wind up tagging along.
>Want to throw a bit of butter for the DM's paws though.
>Instead of being bold, heroic, do or die stoic soldiers, I'm going to play a cowardly sneak, who is constantly hiding behind the ablative NPC meatshields.
>DM gets odd gleam in eye when I mention the character concept.
>Introductory one-shot, fighting some kind of bug monsters (Which we'll see endless waves of as we play)
>Steal a car and head for the hills at the first opportunity.
>Turns out to be the exact right thing to do, as I run into a flanking swarm and lead them to our heavy guns trying to flee from that.
>I think he knows, you see.
>Every time I try to weasel out of things, I wind up being made the hero.
>Goddamn it, I want to be found out as a fraud at this point, and I. Just. Can't. Every attempt to shirt my duty, wet myself in fear, hide, connive, etc. always backfires into making my character a bigger and bigger hero.


I'd leave, but this is turning into a kind of contest of will between me and the GM. I'm not blinking before he does.

I don't get these two. What are they from?

The first one is Nine Princes in Amber and The Guns of Avalon from Eric's perspective.


I have no idea about the second one.

ITT: That Guys makes a That Guy thread

Fuck me, had no idea this was a Silmarillion reference.

Metroid?

...

bumpu

Nah, it's a short story called "Animal Lover" by Stephen Donaldson.

Noice.

the best part about tulkas is that not only can he grapple the world, he grapples the world while laughing constantly.

also, he's banging the goddess of dance, and you just know she's tight and lithe as shit. i bet she's the only creature in lotr who can successfully grapple tulkas; via her seductive poses.

Nice choice of image to accompany this post. And I mean it.

>Be me, level 20 Monk with some homebrew spells and stuff.
>I've clawed my way up, I've fought demons and made myself a name.
>I need better weapons, so I beat up a dragon and he gives me his shit. Respect my authoritah motherfucker
>This is a bitching magic staff I got, does all kinds of cool shit.
>Got all kinds of magic because I
>The gods of heaven themselves come down and then give me the job of a fucking stableboy
>thiswillnotdo.jpeg.
>I beat up all their shit, and then they give me a better job with these immortality Macguffins that are super important
>Well, I take them all. Fuck the gods. Making me a goddamn stableboy
>I then beat up all the gods and their armies, but then the DM pulls some bullshit super special god who is the wisest of all gods and then sticks me under a mountain.
>The other fuckwit players let me out, and then they have a bullshit magic item that basically forces my character to obey them on their retarded quest to get some other Macguffins.
>Constantly fail their rolls to see demons so my character gets blamed when I just slaughter the demons.
>Fighter near constantly fucks everything up for the party.
>Cleric is a moralfag
>Other fighter is useless.
>'muh holiness' 'muh water' 'muh chasing anything in a skirt'
>I save the day pretty much all the time, and I never get a word of gratitude or any consideration.

Fuck my DM. It's apparently some kind of life lesson for my and my character, but I haven't learnt shit apart from 'I am always right and they are always wrong.'

Sounds to me like you're a jerk.

Matt from Wheel of Time?

Monkey?

Sounds like you didn't read the whole post, bud.

Click the spoiler pic.

>eastern-style campaign mixxed with WWII
>decide to play as fighter
>big mistake
>every other character plays a caster
>even the girl with the blindness flaw is more powerful than me
>DM's GF is obviously getting a special treatment
>Her character's this naive little 12-year-old boy, yet her character is literally the messiah
>like, literally the messiah
>easily four times as powerful as all the other characters
>mfw
surprisingly, it wasn't that bad of a campaign

Is that some Journey to the West I see there user? Good taste.

I think I played that campaign, were you the dumbass who specked in throwing weapons the whole campaign then switched to a sword for the last few sessions?

...

And then later your asshat brother realizes that he never actually wanted to be king anyway, he just had it out for you because he's a cunt.

I was able to retrain with a swordsmaster, so it all worked in the end.

Just imagine the butthurt of Melkor. He's ready to take over the world as its new overlord, and suddenly this guy descends from the heavens and just wrestles him to the ground while laughing like a dick.

holyyyyyyy shit you got me good

>be me
>stars without number campaign
>DM puts us on this shithole planet
>his dark sun wank setting
>get comfy business mining sand
>people like the sand, get rich as fuck
>railroad DM gets bored, fucks everything up with the medic npc
>have to flee to shitty desert
>sand everywhere
>i mean everywhere
>DM has weird gleam in his eye
>"have you guys ever heard of ISIS?"
>mfw I'm now the leader
>"drink this sand xDD"
>fuck this DM

The followup campaign was just awful though

>eastern-style campaign 100 years later, has advanced to sorta-modern tech level
>decide to play a caster, since I've learned my lesson from last time
>still not enough
>one guy plays a fire-caster, but has high-level lightning techniques like it ain't no thing
>DM's made a character as well; an unpowered but filthy rich DMPC who "just happens" to have skills in whatever's important
>Dm's GF is back and just as infuriating as before
>now she's this annoying headstrong girl who's as likeable as a rattlesnake
>still OP as hell
>still the literal messiah
>also a pro athlete, for some reason
>the campaign starts off bad and gets worse from there
>it literally ends with the GF and the DM's prissy DMPC in a lesbian relationship
>mfw this is the only game group in my area

>not posting the .gif

>DM decides to run a Hunter/Mage combo game
>Been aching for this for months
>Says it's going to be a high stakes game
>Other players are all for it, get really into character creation
>I take some healing abilities, then everything else goes into being a leader and weapons specialist
>Some weird choices from the other players, and some characters are a little redundant
>doesntmattergonnagame.jpg
>Game seems to be going pretty well
>Bit of banter here and there, DM giving exposition through NPCs
>We get about an hour or so into the campaign
>DM kills me off with some asspull mind control sequence
>"lol it's okay user you can still be a ghost that helps them!"
>Basically have to piggy back my shitty healing powers onto other people the whole game
>He does the same kind of shit to two other players near the end of the campaign
>Campaign ends on a cliffhanger and GM never comes back to it

Life is suffering

Quality/10
Eric had a hard life.

>see filename
>Tulkas, fuck yeah!
>open file, witness Liefeld bullshit
>close tab

>DM decides that running a superpower oriented campaign would be fun.
>Sounds good to me, roll up a fire oriented fortuneteller.
>Some guy who was in the DM's last campaign rolls up some prophetic, whip power thing.
>FuckMeGuessI'mNotTheProphetGuyThen.jpg
>Smiles to the DM and says it goes into powers he had previous campaign, they're obviously sharing some sort of inside joke
>I hate it when they do that.
>Game night comes around, DM introduces some new guy
>This guy has the most overpowered shit I've ever seen, max in almost all stats and a bunch of other bullshit.
>Guy's a massive prick too, first session starts some shit with my character because he refuses to leave the opening location, fine I'll just kick your ass
>I'mCompletlyFuckedInTheAss.png
>Whatever campaign could still be good
>Story is some bullshit about a roadtrip or something, I wasn't really paying attention, run into a lot of enemies along the way.
>Three players join us on the way, some swordsman guy, I guy who shoots crystals and a sand controller
>Last guy is just playing a dog.
>What is wrong with this DM
>Character dies along the way, bitch at the DM until he pulls something out of his ass to bring me back
>Final battle starts getting underway.
>My character is immediately killed with no warning, not even a damage roll just boom dead.
>FuckMyLife.gif
>Decide to stick around anyway to see what happens
>Dog guy dies but swordsman manages to get a lucky roll and survives, out of commission though.
>BBEG can stop time apparently, uses this to kill crystal dude and the DM's friend.
>Only guy left is That Guy
>TPK but at least I get to see him die
>Literally asspulls that his stand is similar to the BBEG's and that it should be able to stop time too
>DM allows this and he solo's
Pic Related is MFW

>level 20
>fucking around with some level 1s
>not time-traveling weird planes and fighting old gods in five-dimensional dungeons

Both you and your DM have the wrong priorities.

Have another picture of Tulkas then. Maybe this fits your taste better.

...

My man

Fuck. Alright I get the joke now.
OP shouldn't have used D&D terminology though

To be fair, some of the NPCs in that campaign were baller as fuck.

>Spiritual leader of air magicians turns out to not be that great with spiritual stuff
>Metal cop is the best example of LG (at least in the begining)
>Eccentric merchant and his seemingly insane shenanigans. Turns out he's a "all according to keikaku" genius.
>Super cool masked bad guy want to take make the world equal, even though he is the very thing he wants to destroy.
>Old school living anarchist gets air magic. Amazon Girlfriend gets killed, and he gets flight.

The DMs just needed to spitball with some people who can tell then their ideas are shit. Great ideas with terrible execution.

Nickelodeon just paying for single seasons and leaving them hanging in the air for money didn't help either. If they had all four seasons fully financed from the beginning, it surely would have been better. At least, it worked with TLA. Can't make a grand story if you can't even be sure if you have the money to do soFucking Nickelodeon

yeah, that's the ticket

ARE YOU READY FOR TULK MANIA?

Paul is that you?

>Spiritual leader of air magicians turns out to not be that great with spiritual stuff
Fuck off you massive faggot, Tenzin being the eternal ineffectual buttmonkey of the show pissed me off to no end.

>Metal cop is the best example of LG (at least in the begining)
Lin was one of the least bad characters in the show so I will give you that.

>Eccentric merchant and his seemingly insane shenanigans. Turns out he's a "all according to keikaku" genius.
Literally the only good character of the show, though they tried very hard to ruin his amusing relationship with his assistant towards the end.

>Super cool masked bad guy want to take make the world equal, even though he is the very thing he wants to destroy.
Fuck off, revealing him as a bender and giving him those stupid daddy issues made him shit and made most of his actions make zero sense.

>Old school living anarchist gets air magic. Amazon Girlfriend gets killed, and he gets flight.
One of the least bad characters in the show so fine I'll give you that.

>be me
>dm starts up a juicy ayy hunting campaign
>killing all kinds of terrifying ayys who can pull stupid shit like mind control
>Goes pretty well though we have to re roll characters pretty often
>end up saving the world and defeating big bad ayy wizard
>gm asks if we want to do a follow up
>hellyes.jpg
>follow up starts
>dickhead gm retconned our entire first campaign so that the fucking ayys won and took over the earth

Fuck this shit.

ERU ILÚVATAR CREATED EA, HE CREATED ARDA! HE CREATED ALL THE AINUR! AND THEN HE CREATED MY 24 INCH PYTHONS, BROTHER! I FEAR NO MAN, NO BEAST AND NONE OF YOUR EVIL! SO WHATCHA GONNA DO BROTHER, WHEN TULKAS AND HIS 24 INCH PYTHONS ARE RUNNING WILD ON YOU!?!?

>DM is setting up a campaign for first timers (starting classes only, minimal splat, an admittedly kind of generic story) to gauge interest for other possible campaigns
>join in with my friend as we are mutual acquaintances with the DM; we haven't actually sat down and played since high school and we've always talked about playing again since
>DM's friend and girlfriend have already picked classes (along with another player or wasn't available for the first session)
>DM highly suggests one of us goes Rogue in case of traps and other shit you'd want a Rogue for
>I know my bro wants to make a tank so I volunteer
>we got to like 8 sessions before it breaks up due to work and school schedules changing
>never came a across a single fucking trap, hazard, or anything that needed my Swiss Army sheet of abilities

>>run campaign a few years ago
>>something that I've been hyping up for a long time
>>my BBEG gets his shit rekt and my players laugh at me
>>cut to a few years later
>>I'm running a new campaign and said that the old one is non-canon
>>Don't allow any input
>>Kill off everyone they liked
>>Don't explain why the bad guys are so powerful or even go into detail about why some nations are wiped off the map because my BBEG needs the most attention
>>Contradict lore all over the place, even things I myself made up but who gives a fuck about lore
>>Destroy the setting and make sure that they can never play in it again
>>Tell them to get the fuck out of my house and laugh at them the whole time
I'm not a shit DM, my whole group were Those Guys. We don't play anymore but I sure showed them.

So...Ciaphas cain?

This thread blows, I was looking forward to an actual DM bullshit thread informed by things like reality.

We have plenty of those.

>Setting is established realm
>Playing lawful good Paladin Knight
>See Bandits robbing a merchant
>Paladin time
>"Stop in the name of the King"
>Gets gunned down by two bit thugs with fully automatic military hardware
>Has the Audacity to bring him back from the dead as a half Golem

Fuck guns in fantasy settings

lmao you sound like a fuckin cunt dude, hope you get kicked from the group

>reading comprehension