"I wanna be a wizard! I wanna be a mage!"

>"I wanna be a wizard! I wanna be a mage!"

No.

"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "magic." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking SCYTHES) has them whining for magic. They beg for speshul snowflake races, talking animals, and stupid monsters on the pretense of "magic." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a pointy hatted fucker there to throw bombs at all the bad guys and heal their booboos, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its magic~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool historical fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be an elf!"
There are no elves. There are only humans.
>"I want to be a ninja!"
There are no ninjas in Europe.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like World of Warcraft. Nobody expected to read about a half-demon-half-angel-dual-scythe wielding sparkefairy in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic anime tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the sparkleys and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched settettings/plots. They think they're entitled to be superheroes instead of part of something bigger.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=i7ThHHOxlck
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Stale pasta

Calling anything you don't like "speshul snowflake" is the worst blight to the modern era.

SORRY OP I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY MASSIVE RIPPLING WAND

Post wizards

...

No. no no no
Fuck off with this
>Derp lets give fucking everyone OP wand bullshit
fucking cancer

BEHOLD THE WIZARD!
BEWARE HIS POWER!

Fantasy Jasper?

SUCH TERRIBLE POWER

>pictured: me, writing my reply to OP

Wizards should have a pointy hat, or a flowing silvery beard.

Someone hasn't read his Jack Vance

Both is even better

I'm sorry, if you can't find anyone who thinks low fantasy is fun maybe the problem is low fantasy just isn't fucking fun you cock-brained fucktard.

Harry Potter got popular for a reason, and that reason is magic is fun, and people enjoy magic-heavy settings. Even LotR had elves and orcs and other nonhuman races.

Also, maximized twinned fireball

That picture shows you in a really good light OP. Good job. I'm really proud that you were able to actually type this without making any spelling mistakes!

I'd feel bad for anyone who actually believed this bullshit if it weren't their own fault for being this stupid.

the sad thing is people like this actualy exist outside of italian restaurants

The city of (you)

All I'm hearing is:
>My group has fun wrong!
>I'm the only one who knows how to have fun THE RIGHT WAY!
>These fucking millennials are so dang stupid because they like something different than i do.
>Why doesn't everyone just like what i like?
Fucking seriously, just get a different group and quit being a whiny little bitch.

Pastamancy is getting stale

The pasta's right though, that group sounds like completely shit. I'd slap any fool who asked if they could be a ninja in a historical European setting. Then maybe slap them again for calling it a Ninja.

nice b8 m8. very h8, can not rel8

youtube.com/watch?v=i7ThHHOxlck

>"Magic" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era
Without magic it's barely even fantasy. That's saying Hydrogen is the worst blight inflicted on water in the history of the universe.
>right next to anime and video games.
Oh, I see. You're retarded.

>Wizards should have a pointy hat, or a flowing silvery beard.
That's where you're right

I can respect the status of a flowing beard and pointy hat.

But would I still be a Wizard if I wore a smart looking suit? Or would I be just a Mage? Does the facial hair, flowing robes, and pointy hat turn the mundane(ish) Mage into a Magnificent Wizard?

ah yes I remember this pasta, wasn't the guy who created it trying to shill his fantasy novel

It's true, real wizards do not wear shirts.

>"I wanna be a drider! I wanna be a drow!"

No.

"Underdark" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to the astral plane and the nine hells. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "Underdark". Any unrealistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking DUAL SCIMITARS)has them whining for the Underdark. They beg for speshul snowflake elves, spider cults, and stupid matriarchical societies on the pretense of "the Underdark." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and cosmological research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Myconids expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a dark-skinned fucker there to shoot arrows at all the bad guys, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its the Underdark~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool urban campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit

>"I want my character to be a dark elf!"
There are no dark elves. There are only high elves
>"I want to be a ranger!"
There are no rangers in the city
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like RA Salvatore. Nobody expected to read about a dual-scimitar-wielding drow in Lord of the Rings. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the unrealistic tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the darkness and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched cities/plots. They think they're entitled to be tunnel-dwellers instead of part of something bigger

>"I wanna be a shitposter! I wanna be a dick!"

No.

"Copypasta" is one of the worst blights inflicted on Veeky Forums in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the mods and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your OP wants to do they justify with "Copypasta." Any unrealistic character shit or stupid memes (fucking DOGE) has them whining for copypasta. They beg for Chick Tracts, cheezburger, and stupid memes on the pretense of "copypasta." And on the flipside, shitposting with actual artistry and historical research put in has them gets shit on as "boring."

I am sick and tired of coddled Millennials expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a pointy hatted fucker there to show them the piss forest and get epic lulz, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~it's copypasta~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool archive thread I wanted to read last weekend so they could bring their content this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"Y U TAEK HIM 2 DA BAR!"
Violation of global rule.
>"EXCUSE ME COMMISSAR!"
There are no Commissars on /b/
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass OP nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like 1d4chan. Nobody expected to read about a luchador suplexing a dragon in U RAFF U RUSE. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real shitposting and the unrealistic 1d4chan tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by the memes and are receptive to intelligently planned and researched shitposts. They think they're entitled to be legion instead of part of something bigger.

Nice.

>"I wanna be a human! I wanna be a commoner!"

No.

"Realism" is one of the worst blights inflicted on fantasy in the modern era, right next to anime and video games. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any normal shit your player wants to do they justify with "realism." Any realistic character shit or stupid weapons (fucking SPEARS) has them whining for realism. They beg for mundane races, peasants, and farm animals on the pretense of "realism." And on the flipside, fantasy with actual artistry and magical research put in has them gets shit on as "fun."

I am sick and tired of coddled grognards expecting that their actions should have consequences and that they should have a straw hatted fucker there to miss the bad guys and die, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they have to really really lose because ~its realism~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool high fantasy campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this weekend, and they immediately started the usual shit.

>"I want my character to be a human!"
There are no human. There are only fairies.
>"I want to be a commoner!"
There are no commoner in the Feywild.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is brainwashed into thinking everything should be like real life. Nobody expected to read about a pitfork wielding peasant in A Midsummer Night's Dream. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between real fantasy and the realistic historical tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't receptive to intelligently planned and researched settings/plots and are blinded by the sparkleys. They think they're entitled to be part of something bigger instead of superheroes.

>"I wanna be a human! I wanna be an elf!"

No.

"Pluricellular organisms" is one of the worst blights inflicted on life in the history of evolution, right next to nervous systems and sexual reproduction. It's a series of codified "fuck yous" to the DMs and authorial intent alike. Any stupid shit your player wants to do they justify with "pluricellular organisms." Any complex organism shit or stupid species(fucking MAMMALS) has them whining for pluricellular organisms. They beg for speshul snowflake immune systems, and sentience on the pretense of "pluricellular organisms." And on the flipside, microorganism with actual carbon put in has them gets shit on as "unicellular"

I am sick and tired of coddled carbon-based lifeforms expecting that their actions should have no consequences and that they should have a complex organism there to find nourishment and reproduce, and being convinced that if they DIE and LOSE THE GAME that they don't have to really really lose because ~its a pluricellular organism~!

I tried introducing my players to this cool bacterial campaign I wanted to run last weekend so they could bring their characters this week, and they immediately started the usual shit

>"I want my character to be a fly!"
There are no insects. There are only cells.
>"I want to be a Candida Albicans!"
There are no yeasts 4000 million years ago.
>"Yeah but there might be!"

It never fucking stops. Now I have to find a whole new group because every shitty ass player nowadays is bewitched into thinking everything should be like the Origin of Species. Nobody expected to read about a multicellular lifeform in cellular biology. It should not be acceptable today either.

There is a MASSIVE gulf nowadays between bacteria and the pluricellular organism tripe being thrown around, and it's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't blinded by higher species and are receptive to virus. They think they're entitled to be part of something bigger instead of something smaller.

top kek

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Wizard" pasta that's going on in Veeky Forums right now. Katana pasta deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana pasta in /b/ for 2,400,000 shitposts (that's about $20,000) and have been posting it for almost 2 years now. I can even derail bit threads with my katana pasta.
/b/ shitposters spend years working on a single katana pasta and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest shitposts known to mankind.
Katana pastas are thrice as (you) worthy as Wizard pastas and thrice as enduring for that matter too. Anything (you)s a wizard pasta can get, a katana pasta can get better. I'm pretty sure a katana pasta could easily get 300+ with a simple post.
Ever wonder why resdit never bothered conquering Veeky Forums? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined shitposters and their katana pastas of destruction. Even in /b/ day, Newfag targeted the threads with the katana pastas first because their shitpost power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katana pastas are simply the best pastas that the world has ever seen, and thus needs a better rep than this wizard shit

I think low fantasy is fun. Like Dwarf Fortress. Technically its just high fantasy without the magic.

You fell for it so deeply that you hve impaled on OP's baiting cock.

low fantasy a shit
A SHIT
Here is the problem you might be ignoring, while it's fun and dandy to swing a sword, it's more fun to swing a +5 dragon dildo sword of butt blasting, simple as that. And i dont even really like high fantasy

>replying to pasta
wew lad

>Real Fantasy
Have you any fucking idea how retarded your entire autistic screech session actually is?
Actually, know what? Congratulations, I must commend you on your scientific advancement that you've made today. You have managed to firmly insert your own head a literal light-year into your own anus. You have somehow managed to break all known laws of modern physics in order to get it up there, but you have got your head snugly wedged in.

you realize that this is copypasta right, everyone in this thread is fully aware of how much of a faggot OP is (even OP by this point)

...

LOOK HOW FUCKING GOLD I AM.

Fuck, I wasn't expecting this pasta out of nowhere.

This pasta wasn't especially tasty the first time it was served. I'm not sure why people keep scooping it out of the dumpster and plopping it back on our plates.

Needs more parmesan.

>Parmesan
Fucking heathens.

This "gulf" you mentioned is mostly due to fantasy authors working off each other.

When I asked a couple of my writer friends about random historical facts, like how heavy plate typically was, they couldn't find an answer and sort of replied with
>Plate is heavier than mail which is heavier than leather.
It's not outright wrong, but they just don't know the answer, and instead default to what has been built up to be the norm.

Very few fantasy writers I have met take the time to research, they just worked off of other works they liked, which is fine. But this lack of research is what's stifling the genre.
When you say "Dark Fantasy campaign" now, everyone immediately thinks of Game of Thrones, or Dark Souls.

So realism isn't bad at all in fantasy, writers just can't tell what "realism" is.

I know this is bait and all, but magic has existed in fantasy since its inception.

>Responding to bait

Wew

Personnally I find that doing research is one of the most pleasant part of writing,as it basically gives you new ideas that you can modify as you like + actual correct information about the stuff you need

>Responding to my response to bait
wew

4 star post
5 star post

hey op, hows that novel coming?