SS13: The Death of Clown Edition

Thoughts on size based inventory systems inside of our 7 items regardless of size? I like the sized based one mores.

...

>when you smite this soo hard the server starts to shit itself

The downloading rate is pure shit.

server's up

Welp, i guess this is it for the day
I must sleep now though, it was a fun round.

Nernums is shit, serbia is shit by association.

I enjoyed that round, 7.6 / 10.

Enjoyable job experiences?

I enjoy making people do paperwork as HOP.
Sure it doesn't mean shit but it's good fun.

>get into SS13 again two weeks ago
>check Veeky Forums every day to see if there's a general
>there never is
>play 4-5 rounds a day for a week
>finally burn out, probably won't play for another 6 months
>mfw I see a general now

How do you people decide when to make ss13 general? Seems completely random to make one right before christmas of all things.

the last general was called "ss12"

>the last general was called "ss12"

IT WAS A SIMPLE MISTAKE STOP BRINGING IT UP REEE

A week ago, I started watching someone doing let's plays of SS13 on Paradise Station, a splinter of Veeky Forums-Station's code. I remembered the last time I'd thought about SS13. Does anyone around here remember Cuban Pete, or that one really effective CE that would occasionally threaten to feed people that tried to set up the singularity to the singularity because he'd figured out how to set up the solars so that they'd provide more than enough power for the station to run while still filling the back-up batteries?

Those were good times.

>want to play d20
>no thread
>make one
It's quite simple actually.

bump

Old timer here. Have some stories from when I was new:

>First time in the game
>Pick assistant, wander around not knowing what to do
>Don't even really know the rules aside from "syndicate spies will try to murder everyone"
>Head to the bar, its abandoned, only 2 people. I'm just standing outside the door
>See the bartender drop a big glowy thing on the table
>Its labelled "Syndicate Bomb"
>The other person in the room quickly grabs it and walks away
>Ohshitohshitohshitohshit
>Need to protect the station
>Grab the nearest weapon I can find
>A fork
>Start attacking the guy before he can get away
>The bartender intervenes and disarms me
>He stabs me in the eye repeatedly with my own fork
>Run away to security, the bartender following, menacing me with the fork
>Tell security that he's a spy and he's trying to kill me
>He says I attacked him first
>Security guy just says "well, its a case of he-said-she-said" and doesn't do anything
>Frustrated, I grab a pen off a nearby desk and start stabbing the bartender with it
>The bartender knocks me over and stabs me to death with a fork while the security guard just watches, sipping coffee
>After I'm dead, I look up Syndicate Bomb on the wiki
>Its an alcoholic beverage

Storytime spessmen
>trying out extended on some random server
>play cap
>fuck around trying to set up departmental olympics for a while, organising catering and prizes and shit
>suddenly get rekt by officer beepsky in a closet
>no biggy, I uncuff myself and head to security to figure out what's happened
>security very busy when I arrive, they've got the magistrate arrested
>turns out he got pissy at the rest of security for making snide comments about his age
>gets arrested, trial set up
>HoS works the prosecution, talks for fucking ages about how we can't overlook treachery
>"alright but this is basically just a prank though right?"
>give the magistrate 20 minutes brig-time
>magistrate insists he deserves at least 25 minutes
>HoS sperging out about not getting to execute
>my word is final, magistrate gets locked up
>next job is the dozens of space carp attacking the station
>hit the armory to grab a gun since the carp are swarming in dangerous levels
>HoS spergs out again, insisting that I have my own gun
>nigger I am the captain I own all these guns, I have access to whichever guns I want
>HoS whines as I run off with two of his guns
>spend some time coordinating with the non-bitchy elements of security to wipe out the carp
>hang out with the token female of security and get overly tacticool clearing out arrivals
>kill count of at least a dozen at this point
>eventually it seems clear
>head back to the armoury to return the guns
>HoS still pissy about the guns
>go to put them back
>another carp attack reported over radio
>make to respond
>HoS blocks my way, orders me to put the gun back
>"alright, alright, I'll put it back"
>make a break for freedom
>get tazed
>HoS strips me down in the corridor, crows to his secbuddies "See men, this is what happens when power corrupts."
>permas me
>nigga wat am I even charged with
>magistrate is also in perma, his sentence has long expired but sec didn't give a fuck
cont.

I've always wanted to try and play this, but the two times I have I couldn't understand anything on how to play. Is there some kind of spectator function to just watch and observe?

I'm horrible at reading guides, I have to smash my face at a game to learn it over reading how to play it.

Click observe instead of join game when joining the server. If it's "Ready / Unready" instead of Join Game, then you'll have to wait for either the round to start or players to join. We're trying to get people on at 7 PM EST.

please continue

Thanks. I'll try to be there around that time then.

>HoP walks into perma 5 minutes later
>says he volunteered to be perma'd in protest at my unlawful detention
>he adapts poorly to prison life, ends up begging to be let out after 10 minutes to no avail
>chill out with the magistrate and spam the AI since none of us have headsets
>"HoS has illegally detained all command staff above him, it's a mutiny AI, get a message to centcomm"
>no idea if the AI bothered to send the message or if centcomm just didn't give a fuck
>every now and then, a sec officer comes to check on us, gives small updates about the situation, but refuse to release us
>crew isn't happy, shit's going to hell
>my station needs me
>eventually, a fucking hour goes by, and we finally decide to enact our plan
>female sec rolls up, I chat to her for a minute, try to convince her to let us go
>"I'm sorry... I....... can't..."
>suddenly magistrate and hop start fighting
>sec comes in stun baton drawn, ready to break it up
>she trusts me enough that I can just step behind her and disarm her
>she gets a flashbang off before I can grab the baton however
>everyone down, she's screaming on the radio for backup
>beat her on the draw, grab the stun baton and lay the fuck into her
>once she's suitably fucked up, drag her into the toilet to finish her off and loot her
>back-up arrives a bit earlier than convenient and rush us with baton drawn
>only to fall foul of our soap trap camoflaged with a dropped jumpsuit
>femsec makes a run for it, half dead and naked
>she has no ID however and gets trapped between the two sets of doors
>finish off the two traitors, gear up calmly and walk outside
>two more guards
>HoP is lagging behind, it's 2v3, albeit with one wounded largely useless third
>magistrate is a fucking beast, robusts the fuck out of them, I barely need to lift a finger
>blood fucking everywhere, five traitors down, not 100% on how many sec there were (apparently a fucking ton)
>suddenly, hear a really loud "BANHAMMER"

>heart drops, I examine the magistrate
>braindead
>Left standing alone in a pile of corpses, HoP still nowhere to be seen
>fire escape doors lock me down
>we spent about a fucking hour trying IC and OOC methods to resolve this situation non-lethally
>pm'd the admins multiple times
>even had a debate on how lethal we were justified in being, came to the conclusion that since all sec members had the power to end the mutiny by releasing us, they are all complicit
>and yet here we are
>a hooded black figure arrives on the other side of the fire escape
>examine him, he's got a fucking energy scythe and his job title is "Reaper"
>"oh did centcomm send you? Finally, we've got a muti-"
>"I was sent here to judge you..."
>Oh for FUCK'S SAKE
>"But it appears that won't be necessary..."
>"okay you fucker, bring it on, let's go"
>he activates his fucking invisibility cloak
>get a few whacks in with the stun baton, but he's apparently immune and his scythe drops me in two hits
>ded
>deadchat filled with furious traitors
>tell them to eat shit, and demand to know why my boy was banned
>so uh, in the admin pms he told us really wanted to kill some players
>so fucking what, he was justified IC in killing them, whether he got off on it or not doesn't matter
>admin doesn't have a good answer, I come to the realisation that the HoS is just a circlejerker and the admins couldn't fucking wait to come to his rescue when his own treachery faced repurcussions
>watch as every traitor bitches at me until the get cloned, and eventually my body is chucked into the morgue

I wish I remember what the server was called, their admins deserve to burn for snuffing out what had been the most exciting round of my life.

anyone playing?

I'm hopping on right now.

They cloned all the dead shitcurity? Then what did they do? Drink in the bar until meteors wrecked the station?

Merry Christmas from Space Cuba Spessmen!

kawaiii~

y-you too

Why the fuck is father relaxe still allowed here?

Seriously. I can't believe that piece of shit is still allowed to play. All he's ever done is bitch about R&D and invite drama from his bullshit blockland servers. He's a criminal in real life too.Just dig through the archives. It's all there. DDOSing, racism, I think he actually killed a guy over this game once. Straight up murdered a guy in real life. Why is he still allowed here? It's christmas. Surely the server's present should be his absence. (Get it? A present being the absence of a presence? Lol.)

Just ban him already. Father Relaxe has not once done anything good for anyone, ever.

Reminder that there has not been a single good round while Father Relaxe aka HipEkans aka Sunshine Christopher has been on the server.

Anyone claiming otherwise is just a sockpuppet trying to get R&D nerfed because they're a literally schizoid salty faggot.

>All he's ever done is bitch about R&D and invite drama from his bullshit blockland servers
This. That fucking faggot --literal faggot, literal tranny, literal fucking degenerate-- has never invited anything but garbage because of his blockland servers. And then he comes here, powergames as chaplain, and expects anyone to forget his crimes. Fuck no!

Fucking ban this prick already! It's christmas, we deserve that much for a present.

didn't someone get relaxe's dox

we could have him killed

like actually made dead

straight up murdered irl

that's a pretty good solution, don't you think

Does freeman still poast? Not up on current events, havent seen a ss13 thread in ages!

>for christmas the server could be permanently made better

I'm down. Doesn't ASTV or someone know where this guy lives irl? Why not just fucking burn his house down? It'd improve the server a bajillionmfolds.

I can't wait for this fuck to get what he has coming to him. He's been ruining this server for ages, and deserves all he gets. The day he chokes his last breath out will be the day this server can be free again. That piece of human garbage has ruined his last round.

Burn his house down? And make his parents suffer? Why not just kill only him? This is a /k/ server, we have the proper equipment to do it, lol.

I can't believe fugitives so casually browse this site. Why do you let DDOSers play on your server?

This.
>there is literally someone here who attacks your server and you let him play and post like it's nothing

What is wrong with you, OP?

shitposting aside this server would be a lot better if whoever played father relaxe were murdered irl

ASTV has the dox but he's unwilling to say where the fucklord lives. There must be something dangerous at work.

Whoever plays Father Relaxe should genuinely be murdered. He's a destructive player who brings nothing positive to any situation.

Father Relaxe shit posting? truly it is a very merry Christmas.

Why won't he just spill the beans? It's not like he will be held personally responsible if someone gets hurt.

can you at least give us an eu country

we know hes a eurocuck but

at least which one would help a lot

Seriously, he ruins the server every single goddamn round. If you're not going to ban him, at least give us the dox so we can get rid of him.

this

astv we know you have the dox

just give them to us so we can fix the situation

Reminder that ASTV is LITERALLY withholding information that could save this server.

What did he mean by this?

ASTV knows where relaxe is and knows how to remove him for good. But he won't spill the details. Probably because ASTV actually IS relaxe and all his sockpuppets. ASTV is ruining this server. But not for long. We'll find relaxe soon, and end him.

>there is someone who will be murdered over this thread
>there is some idiot who will murder someone over a Veeky Forums thread

Normally I'd think it's silly but not this time, I think it's deserved here. I've never had a good round with that fuck online. I hope he dies.

>Cuban Pete
Back in the halcyon days of stungloves and uterus station, a chappie named Cuban Pete roamed the station.

He was a horrible griffon and robusted lots of people when he was on whenever he came round. Everyone metagamed to have him Kill on Site and as he had a pretty good set of reflexes he could usually take down a few people.
One round I remember managing to bear him to death after subverting the AI as the head of personnel (so stupid 1st laws wouldn't stop me). Later, he got cloned and took me out, and as the AI was treating me like a God, which wasn't human, he reverently threw my body into the AI upload to be enshrined. I had a good laugh about it.

Another time, after he had calmed down a bit after numerous bans, I recall throwing him out of medical after stealing his ID after he broke in. This was back in the day when you had easily craftable stungloves (ANY gloves + wire + battery) and with me as a medic, he was both appalled and literally shocked I had them
"WHHYYY DOO YOUU HAVEEE STUNNGLOOVESS" is still a phrase I happily remember today.

The thing about Pete was, he became less and less of a faggot, and yet even worse as time went on. He once came in to science, and I taught him the very basics of bomb making - 2 plasma to 1 O2 and heated - the stuff I learned and never tried to improve upon because I read it on the wiki and thought a Dev 5/8/10 bomb was perfectly ok.

He learned, and tested, and his station crackers are known to this day as cementing his reputation as the one that made the rumba beat go boom chiki chik boom chiki chik boom.

And he bombed the station EVERY DAY for ages.

He toured the various ranks. Did stints as captain, security, scientist and others, but he loved being the head of security most - he took great joy in finding targets that were "legit". One round in particular he stormed a revolutionary station with us being the only two loyalists, and took down everyone else one by one. It was a slaughter.

so basically what youre saying is someone got gud and that wasnt ok

Shut the fuck up. There is nothing romantic about what happened there. He was a shitter, and anyone who emulates him is a shitter. You do not have the right to be that destructive, whether there's valids around or not.

Cuban Pete is gone now, bored with SS13 and having moved to greener pastures. Or perhaps he got a life and put his intense focus into something productive.

If he's still alive, though, I'll raise a glass of beepsky smash to him. Here's to an irredeemable faggot who became a great, immortalized glorious faggot.

Merry Christmas wherever you are, and to everyone else here.

There is nothing romantic about bombing the station every round. Or are you yet another Relaxe sockpuppet? Fucking literal tranny faggot. Just stop posting. Stop playing. Stop commenting. No one wants you here.

>tfw my entire character was based around bombing the station every other round for a bit

Shit taste senpai.

He wasn't actually that good a shitter to begin with, but then progressed to effective shitter, then less of a dick shitter, then a tremendously destructive shitter, and then a play-by the rules shitter. At no point did he stop being a shitter.

But frankly, he was actually fairly charismatic and a lot of fun to be around. Those days were days of metafaggotry, preemptive murder and loose administration before the hugbox admins took over, and frankly d20station is one of the last bastions where that sort of loose playstyle of "we won't ban you for throwing an assistant out an airlock if they broke into your lab" that I enjoy.

I'll go ahead and say it; If you don't like Cuban Pete's playstyles, find another station elsewhere. Dealing with station threats with massive overkill is perfectly reasonable given sufficient station threat.

Why else do we still have bombs?

>yfw at least two characters on the station vaporized the station every round they were traitor

I agree with this guy you got shit taste.

How about you git gud, or git gone? Plenty of stations that have admins that will ban people if you accidentally spill your drink on their shirt, you might like bay12 from what I remember of it.

But, it's Christmas, so thanks for sharing your opinion, and I hope you have a great time with family or on your own anyway!

Thank you Father Relaxe for incessantly samefagging the thread yet again. I'm sure everyone loves your constant bombings and I'm sure you were totally not banned. "le git gud" how about you learn to roleplay and maybe you'll be a bit less salty when you finally stop treating the game like a Call of Duty mary sue simulator?

I've read this before.

>father relaxe
>bombing
u wot, when did Relaxe learn toxins?

Literally every round he's on he blows up at least one whole department. Don't you remember his whole "lol if i blow up a room science shouldnt be able to rebuild it" tirades for months?

It's Christmas, are you sure you want to spend it saying angry things on the Internet at someone in a 2D spaceman game on an Arabian inked silkscreen board?

Really, we could probably try to do something nice for you if you do want to do something else (and reasonable)

>Relaxe ever touching science.
b-but it was me and bombunny

I told the story before a couple of times. Wrote it out from memory though - couldn't be bothered to find the actual original post though.

I've been on Veeky Forums too long.

Relaxe did nothing but bomb crap, especially science. He only ever took the class so he could better fuck with other scientists. He's a menace and needs to be permanently removed from the internet.

You mean from like shitty syndie bombs right? because I can't recall a single time where relaxe built a TTV bomb, it was always just me and Viktor making TTV bombs.

Relaxe did nothing but obliterate departments from round start.

But that is literally impossible friendo, for bombs to cook that takes atleast 10 minutes, and that isn't round start.

Don't you have family, friends?

We could be your friends!

well back when relaxe was on the burn chamber could get you a 10 dev bomb and you can set that up in about 5 ish minutes if you were quick.

I don't know how he did it, but within 5 minutes of the round starting, a whole department would be gone and he'd be loaded up with all kinds of OP gear so no one could stop him. It's like he had a spray gun just full of explosions or something.

Only 10 devs? You couldn't even blow up a cupboard with that.

I agree, 10 dev is a firecracker, especially since back then we had 24 dev station vaporizers.

Ok, now you're just bullshitting. You literally can't nuke departments that fast AND loot security in under 5 minutes. Why not just relax for a day?

Becuase relaxe is here, and he's ruining the server. That's why.

Do you happen to know what aliases Relaxe is playing under?

Ask ASTV about it. He has the list.

Also why did you post in Veeky Forums, a server never graced by relaxe's presence?

>there are people who don't realize that "Father Relaxe" shitposting is all just an elaborate ruse that help the thread to stay afloat
As someone who has access to relevant buttons, I can truthfully claim that Relaxe wasn't here since forever.

>wonder why the server is dead when the thread is literally 1/2 of this
Relaxe shitposter has done more damage to the server than relaxe ever will.

beware i rise

I was friends with a Dutch guy that would quote Cuban Pete a lot, this was years ago (maybe even 4 or 5 years?) and I had never even heard of this game at that point, I thought it was just a meme I had missed out on or something
Pretty interesting to finally find out what he was talking about

i tried

needs a bar of soap and insulated glubs.