ITT:Times RNG completely changed the tone of the game

Oh
>PC's body becomes an octopus. (no stat change, does not require water)

Literally one in a million

OCTO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Rolled 95 (1d1000)

Rolled 216 (1d1000)

>Deludes PC into believing the grog functions as indicated by a second die roll (no save).
Deeper into the rabbit hole I go!

>PC's skin is burned by moonlight. 1d4 dmg/round
I'm Selenophobic now?

Rolled 388 (1d1000)

>PC's skin gains full body leopard print tattoos.
Tight.

Rolled 569 (1d1000)

Rollin for the Lollin'

>PC becomes feral when their food is at stake.

...I see no difference here.

Rolled 3 (1d1000)

Bring home the money...

>PC can Wish the death of one being, but will also die.
I choose, DEATH!!!

i wanna try this!

dice+1d1000

Rolled 202 (1d1000)

wow im an idiot

Rolled 445 (1d1000)

Let's see how fucked I get.

>PC is lectured by angelic figures in decency every night in their sleep.
No dreams, only morality.

>PC grows an afro that can be used as a backpack.
>PC is lectured by angelic figures in decency every night in their sleep.
Best thread i've ever made

Rolled 653 (1d1000)

Fuck me up good!

>PC is constantly mistaken for an extremely evil demon.
Be careful what you wish for

This is a good thread derailment

Rolled 937 (1d1000)

ok fine i'll roll

Rolled 143 (1d1000)

rolling

To be fair I was OP and I was the first to do it

> PC learns every recipe there is to cooking and serving the slain bodies of their enemies.
what
anyone hungry?

Whenever the PC is alone, they painfully transform into an strange bird-like thing. The PC instantaneously reverts to normal if another person or creature goes near them or sees them.
O-Oh. How painful are we talking here?

What if someone is looking at them with a spyglass and rapidly blinks?

This guy is.

Rolled 373 (1d1000)

Been a bit since I rolled, let's see if I can remember

>PC's teeth become precious gems, and cannot be removed while the PC is alive.

swag

and thus, a beautiful partnership was started.

>PC's teeth become precious gems, and cannot be removed while the PC is alive.
Add some gold and you become a rapper

Rolled 711, 581, 904, 313, 513 = 3022 (5d1000)

I'm chugging the damn thing.

Rolled 385, 965, 851, 887, 772, 376, 356, 124, 190, 872 = 5778 (10d1000)

Amateur

dice+1d1000

Is my body ready?

>PC's shadow smokes as if it's on fire. (Not good to stay in enclosed spaces)
>A bright round sphere looking object appears over the PC's head whenever they get an idea, or remember something.
>PC is able to lick an enemy to paralyze them for 1d6 rounds. Fortitude save DC 10 + PC's level negates.
>Any shadow puppet the PC makes becomes a harmless living shadow of whatever it was.
>PC is haunted by the ghost of everything they slay.

I can spawn smoking shadow puppets.

Rolled 220 (1d1000)

They see me rollin

Not only that, every time I come up with a way to use a shadow puppet in a given situation, I'm instantly given a light source to create a puppet with.

Rolled 188, 40, 143, 627, 851 = 1849 (5d1000)

>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes an extremely blasphemous tattoo to appear.

Meh Id probably take a few more chugs before I realized what was going on

>Roll again, the effect is twice as strong. (Twice as long, twice as much, etc.)
>No ship can float while the PC is on board, however, they can be sailed underwater.
>PC gains a wombat for a mount.
Around the PC, the moon appears to be constantly full at night.
>PC's feet attract snakes. 10% chance of being poisonous.
>PC does not have to touch objects to pick them up, but they must be in reach.
>Whenever the PC hears their name, they are briefly struck by inexplicable terror.
>PC agrees with everything, even if it doesn't make sense, or is contradictory. PC’s personal beliefs are unaffected.
>PC becomes very talented at tomfoolery.
>PC becomes a were-statue.
This abomination needs to be obliterated.
>He is always a statue at night and activates all other were-things
>Creates submarines
>Creates snakes at random that will kill people
>Telekinesis
>Is a trickster
>Scared of his own name
>Is a yes man

Rolled 419, 432, 687, 82 = 1620 (4d1000)

You get 4 effects max, tards

Per grog
>Each grog can at max have 4 effects.

What if the Grog of Whimsy was "Home-Brewed"

>PC realizes they have died centuries ago, and doesn’t know how they’re here now.
>PC's hair becomes a hedgehog familiar. Hair grows back at normal rate.
>PC is able to shove their foot up any butt, regardless if it fits or not. It deals pride damage.
>PC cannot perform any action without announcing their name

I, Cato Sicarus, have received some very useless boons.

>Finding more than one of these things, ever

Epic level wizards don't just shit out reality bending idiocy. There's probably only one bottle of this shit in existence

You really think senile wizards wouldn't create thousands of barrels of this stuff?
>Brewed from the talents of the finest senile wizards

Rolled 703 (1d1000)

Let's lighten the mood

>PC gains 5 ft of height, but is not considered a size category larger. Stats don't change.
Nice and relatively mundane

>188, 40, 143, 627,
>Roll 1d12, at that time of day, the PC emits a powerful beam of light that has no effect other than alerting absolutely everything that can see it to your presence at that moment.
>PC’s body becomes an orangutan. (no stat change)
>Whenever the PC is alone, they painfully transform into an strange bird-like thing. The PC instantaneously reverts to normal if another person or creature goes near them or sees them.
>PC's hands can be unscrewed from their wrists.

OOK.

Rolled 274, 696, 897, 320 = 2187 (4d1000)

Rolled 483, 528, 746, 649, 332, 760, 483, 589, 463, 67 = 5100 (10d1000)

Are the hands functional after being unscrewed?
Because that could be useful for escaping prisons and other things... like science, yes science, definitely science

>Every fruit the PC touches turns to glass.
>PC grows fur on their entire body.
>PC's hands never leave their sleeves. (PC also permanently wears long sleeve shirts.)
>PC's eyebrows grow twice their size and permanently cover the PC's eyes.
>PC and someone who looks exactly like the PC are suddenly aware of each other.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes a wild surge.
>Every fruit the PC touches turns to glass.
>PC mistakes every woman they meet for the first time as their farming wife Charlotte.
>PC loses all hair on their body.
>PC can cast a random cantrip level spell at will.
Abomination averted?
>Fruit is canceled
>Get a shitton of hair then lose it
>Get a long sleeve shirt
>Get a clone
>Free wild surges
Much better than my last attempt

>PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
>PC can snap their fingers together and produce sparks like flint and steel would.
>PC gains a purple thumb that causes non-magical plants to whither and die.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes birds to swoop down and groom them. (Like a crocodile)

>>PC's hands never leave their sleeves. (PC also permanently wears long sleeve shirts.)
as a gm I would get rid of the clause a giggle profusely at t-rex pc in their short sleeve shirt

dice+1d1000

put it in options

You suck at Veeky Forums dice, but I'm going by your trips for the hell of it:
>PC hiccups bubbles. 2d4 bubbles per round for 2d4 rounds when caught flatfooted (or surprised).

Rolled 602 (1d1000)

Come on lady luck

Rolled 229, 178, 296, 144, 102, 367, 781, 223, 363, 789, 920, 175, 100, 582, 442, 37, 657, 598, 778, 920 = 8681 (20d1000)

FULL THROTTLE TO THE APOCALYPSE!!!!

PC's touch leaves permanent black marks on any type of skin, except for their own. They also become great skin artists.

Tattoo Artist

>PC's touch leaves permanent black marks on any type of skin, except for their own. They also become great skin artists.
great the last thing my PCs need is a reason to touch people

>920
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
Would this apply to OPs tree PC?

dice+2d6

put it in the options field

Rolled 767 (1d1000)

Sorry for being such a newfag Veeky Forums literally my first time rolling, im cross boarding from Veeky Forums and /out/ and the sticky on rolling dice is garbage

>PC's heart becomes clockwork. It must be wound every 24 hours or else it stops. If it stops, PC's hit points drop to -1, and are restored to full if it's rewound. PC's eyes become removable pearls, retain normal sight.
>PC remembers the night a wizard killed them. It’s a little fuzzy why and how they’re alive now.
>PC's bones can be played like a xylophone.
>PC slowly remembers their time at war each night, and is forthcoming about telling old war stories at the campfire.
>PC's touch brings wilting flowers back to life.
> PC is afflicted with Porphyric Hemophelia. (Vampirism.)
>PC gains a pencil-thin mustache, a thick British accent, and an urge to lift one eyebrow.
>With exception to the eyes and brain, the PC begins to harmlessly decompose. (Is not undead, no longer eats)
> PC can only be healthy via cannibalism. (Maybe even a civil one.)
>PC breathes out harmless lightning clouds. Can shock/distract people.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
>PC can mesmerize non-magical animals they can see by dancing.
> PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a destitute beggar who died, with no one to miss them.
>The next enemy the PC meets becomes directly related to the PC, 40% chance of being friendly.
>PC knows how wise any creature they encounter is.
>PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight. When they go up an age group, they go up a size category as well as receiving the penalties of aging.
> PC can hear the thoughts of a random party member.
>PC's head becomes invisible.
>PC can cast a random cantrip spell at will.
>Any casted magic that affects the PC causes all nearby wildlife to double in size.
>(cont)

>PC's bones can be played like a xylophone.
>PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight.

>Vampire that an only eat flesh and feeds off sunlight while weak to sunlight
>Was in a war, became a beggar, and was killed by a wizard. somehow came back
>Is a robot
>No head
>Rotting, but not undead even though they are a vampire
>Some random dude becomes his uncle
>Has magic and telepathy
>Is British
>Green thumb to flowers but nothing else
>Lightning breath
>Somehow isn't struck down by the gods for being such a monstocity

>PC goes down one size category. (With no Ability Score change)
Joe Rogan barbarian here I come!

Rolled 237, 977, 561, 311, 616, 959, 671 = 4332 (7d1000)

Rolled 199, 773, 518, 87, 150, 744, 79, 857, 302, 372, 539, 655, 184, 890, 550, 849, 800, 424, 317, 277, 289, 691, 187, 128, 34 = 10895 (25d1000)

How far down the rabbit whole do we go?

Fucking responding to Fucking deleting the TAAAAB!!!!!

>PC is awake and alert the instant they wake up, regardless of how many hours they slept. Can also never be hungover.
Pro drinking champion, check
>PC ascends to a higher dimension, learns how to exist in this dimension, and then instantly pops back into the material plane with no memory of the event. (May have made friends, or enemies in their time)
Seems pretty pointless but okay
>PC gains a permanent pair of glasses.
Hmm doesnt say anything about a eyesight disadvantage so maybe they are lensless.. we hipster now
>PC is knocked prone whenever they hear their name.
Permanently use nickname forever now
>PC learns the spell Teach Esperanto, which will automatically teach Esperanto to the subject. Can cast at-will.
Some silly made up language - could me interesting to teach to the rest of the party so you can talk in private in front of people
>PC can make a DC 17 Will Save to grow a fabulous and amazing mustache.
lensless glasses - mustache - only answers to nickname - speaks some ridiclious culturally neutral PC language. yep, millennial hipster-tier competitive drinker.
>PC receives mail from a long distance significant other periodically by Marvin the Mailman. (He's a mailman)
Imagine how badass Marvin must be to deliver my mail when im in a dungeon or some lich's tower

>PC's brain is bombarded by stupidity. After 1d2 days of recovery, they can tell terrible jokes as a swift action, and causes sentient creatures to make a DC 17 will save or be stuck 1d4/level rounds pondering how dumb it is. Creatures are considered staggered.
>Whatever the PC kills becomes a tombstone.
>PC attracts insects of any size.
> PC's breath becomes combustible.
> PC’s dreams are replaced with visions of killing someone they haven’t met yet.
>PC cannot die in their sleep.
>PC becomes soluble in rainfall. (Drinking liquids is harmless)
>PC can run across water, but if they stop or change direction, they sink.
>PC can increase the length of any hair by pulling on it.
>Whenever the PC enters a building, gravity immediately reverses orientation for them.
>Doors attack the PC if they attempt to walk through them. (Wood: +3 1d6+2 smash attack. Metal: +3 2d6+3 smash attack. Stone: +2 2d8+4 smash attack.)
>PC didn’t actually exist prior to drinking this grog.
>PC does not have a reflection.
>PC is a professionally bad dancer.
>PC's dreams are replaced with visions of being a virtuous ascetic nurse taking loving care of the sick, eventually dying of the sickness themselves.
>The souls of whoever the PC kills linger around them in the form of small heatless balls of purple-ish fire.
>PC suddenly recalls a past life where they were a cat on a boat that had a mysterious cargo.
>The next thing the PC sits on will be able to fly. (poor)
> PC can no longer answer a question truthfully.
>The PC's eyes move together to become one big eye.
>PC can run up walls and other flat surfaces, but if they stop or change direction, they will fall.
>PC knows the Int score of any creature they encounter.
>PC's finger nails dispense magical ink, and can be used to scribe spells with.
>PC gains once per day use of a spell equal to Cha modifier. (Use modifier for DC)
>PC seemingly ‘walks on air’ and is permanently 5 inches above all solid surfaces.
(cont)

>Tells bad jokes
>Leaves behind tombstones of people and their sould haunt him forever
>Attracts ALL insects
>Fire breath
>Dreams of killing a nurse dying of disease, and he is invincible while doing so
>Can cosplay as Jesus but will die if he stops walking
>Dreads
>Building hate him for discovering this one easy trick!
>He came into being this fucked up
>Mirrors are useless
>Sucks
>Was a cat even though he never existed before now
>can fly by sitting on a rock
>Cursed to lie always
>Cyclops
>Spiderman
>Can see how much smarter everyone else is compared to him
>Can write?
>Can cast spells? (What CHA modifier? -10?)
>Can levitate
This is less the end of the world but something that needs to be put out of its misery

Rolled 400 (1d1000)

Bottoms up lads.

> PC suddenly recalls a past life that was fairly normal until it ended abruptly as a sacrifice to a dark god. (It must not have worked, so the cult might try again.)

Boo. Fun plot hook foreshadowing, but hardly "whimsy."

It's like the cast of a Baron Munchausen story. But all in one person.

Rolled 928, 377, 412, 704, 495, 519, 867, 552, 231, 693, 203, 683, 37, 200, 487, 309, 981, 258, 566, 1000, 232, 187, 304, 646, 47 = 11918 (25d1000)

Help, I'm dying. But the Dark Gods compell me to continue.

In another thread we might have written entire stories about Marvin. He would've liked that.

Rolled 340 (1d1000)

>PC becomes a Kangaroo
Not being an organic being was an actual advantage in the game. I have all new reasons to be afraid of everything now.

Rolled 83 (1d1000)

SATAN TRIPS GO!

> PC can plane shift once per day, and move 5 spaces before coming back to the material plane. They have a 60% chance of bringing something back with them, and a 20% chance of it being friendly.
>PC can cure any mundane illness they’re afflicted with by taking a bath.
>PC ages 100 years, and has 100 years added on to their natural life span.
>PC believes that all other races other than their own are aliens.
>PC can crack open any kind of nut or seed in their hand.
>PC always appears to be riddled with bullet holes. (Does not bleed from holes)
>PC learns recipe of random meal, gains the ingredients to prepare it, and will not be satisfied until they make the meal in a decent kitchen.
>PC becomes obsessively hygienic.
>PC's hair becomes a very large powdered white wig. PC also gains a gavel.
>PC becomes addicted to casting the last spell they casted, and really enjoys casting it whenever they get the chance, or an excuse.
>PC cannot become non-magically dirty.
> PC's right arm is interchangeable with any other creature's right arm. (PC can remove right arms harmlessly)
>PC's bones turn to wood, and can live off sunlight. When they go up an age group, they go up a size category as well as receiving the penalties of aging.
> PC suddenly recalls all of the circus training they received as a circus elephant in a past life.
> PC can bring anything they've killed back to life. It will become permanently hostile to the PC regardless. (PC cannot gain experience this way)
>PC irrationally hates fungi. (stomps on them when they see them)
> All of the PC's criticals and fumbles are twice as effective as they normally were.
>PC switches eyes with the next creature with eyes they come into contact with. (Eyes will shrink/grow proportionally for all involved)
>PC's feet becomes invincible, but they can still feel pain.
Ran out of space. will cont

>PC doesn't age while asleep, increase lifespan by 1/3
Well then. Might not be an uspeakable horror named Howard but I'll take and extra 30 years.

Going by the rules, you can only get four of those effects. Or maybe that's just four per cup in which cause you just shotgunned about six shots of Grog. 12 if we're including the previous post.

user, I'm cutting you off.

>PC teleports 1d20 years into the past, in the same spot. The same amount of years later, they walk into the bar and watch themselves disappear.
>PC's finger nails dispense magical ink, and can be used to scribe spells with.
>PC is only nourished by alcohol. (All other foods make them vomit. Will become drunk as normal.)
>When the PC snaps, it sounds like a church bell. (As loud as a snap)
>PC's face has the same properties as catnip. (A cat allergy may be included at DMs discretion)

Rolled 9 (1d1000)

Rolling

Rolled 222 (1d1000)

I just want an excuse to use the dice roller.

This ride never ends
>Can teleport, but it summons Satan
>Cleanliness cleans everything
>He gets old but not
>Becomes a xenophobe
>Becomes a nutcracker in time for christmas
>Is shot a bunch
>Geased into cooking
>REALLY wants to take a bath
>when he is never dirty
>Becomes Judge Judy
>Doesn't know magic but loves to cast it
>Is arm-fall-off man (look him up)
>Is like OP
>Reincanation of an elefant
>Becomes a necromancer but a terrible one
>Racist to mushrooms
>Fucks up more than the last guy
>Switches eyes with some guy?
>Immune to caltrops
>Time travels for no reason
>Can write like the last guy
>Cursed to drink more grog
>Sounds like a bell
>Makes cat high
But last and certainly not least
>1000
>PC is divided by zero.
So he never exists in the first place
And now I am free from my curse. Goodnight Veeky Forums

I think the crazy fuck archived this
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/50847592/