What unique magic items have shown up in your games?

Everything is in the eye of the beholder. It looks like robotic S&M chicken porn to me.

Damn it, man. When I said I wanted a Tit bird mount, I didn't mean this.

What is this from?

Shimoneta

A bag of Teeth that, when squeezed, shoot out and form a shell around your arm. It's otherwise a standard shield, but when an enemy misses an attack against you, the shield attacks them, doing 1d4+2 on a hit.

I work with a pretty large group, so I like to have magic items "evolve" in ways that play into characters strengths and cover their weaknesses.

Like the shield is currently being wielded by a Barbarian, so it's developed the ability to deal an additional 1d4 damage to the enemy on a hit, but you have to deal another, separate d4 to yourself. If you ever roll a 4 on the damage against yourself though, the shield becomes "Full", and doesn't do the damage to the enemy.

I based it on a CopyPasta that I haven't seen in a while, about an enemy barbarian who's sword formed from a similar bag, and then when he died, his sword ate him.

user, are you doubting a man of science?

user, are you doubting a man of faith?

I wish.

user, are you doubting a man asking questions?

user, are you doubting a man answering questions with questions?

A man asks too many questions, it makes a man wonder why.

...I can't beat that, fold.

Why did she pee on his face? I didn't even know anime could show that.

Thank you, user. I had a wonderful time. I tip my hat to you.

Thank you, same, same.

She didn't pee. Her vagina is flooding.

I remember those threads. They were hot as fuck.

...

Does anyone have the original links or writefaggotry?
The story was juicy. The female paladin was made to wear magic armor that gives infinite stamina and renders you vulnerable to animal handling checks. The rogue then sold her to a halfdragon. Months later, the halfdragon kidnaps the rogue because the paladin is too pregnant to ride. A girdle of femininity later, the new lady rogue is slotted into another chicken suit, ready to be trained.

Old Veeky Forums was great.

...

degenerates like you belong on

Nah, they were on Veeky Forums first. Before the prudes moved in.

Man, the amount of 40k porn I have stocked up from the early days. Amazing.

>Old Veeky Forums
>Text posted this March for the first time
Please kill yourself.

Also, Veeky Forums started as the most prude of all boards. Then eternal virgins rolled in, with their /d/-infused fetishes. Then the clean-up happend, leaving the more adjusted fetishists and kicking out the rest. Then prudish neo/tg/ showed up.

But seriously, those times were fucked up and you need to be fucked up yourself to have fond memories of them.

>Text from march
>Veeky Forums was prude
Man, you are wrong about every point you make. It is kind of impressive.

Veeky Forums came right out of /b/ in the beginning, porn and all. And the chicken suit is super old, pre nazimod I think.

Pre nazimod era wasn't called the golden age for nothing, user. Shit was amazing back then. The most prude you got was 40k fags who would cry heresy and then draw faptau.

>Mods doing their best to at least pretend this is not porn board
>Let's call them nazis!
Fucking hate this meme. It's old, but always piss me off.

I'm on Veeky Forums from the day it started. So I say - nice nostalgia glasses you've got there. The board was in DEEP shit for first two years or so. And recently it's going back into that shit direction, with utter clusterfuck and activity focused on just handful of threads.

>Newfags forget how awful nazimod was
I don't believe you, as you were incorrect about early Veeky Forums's prude levels and incorrectly dated old Veeky Forums material.

I've been banned for responding to a joke about WW2 slave rape babies being half-demons/tieflings by posting the old WW2 poster of the Russian soldiers about to rape the German girl with the words "What you talking about, Helga". I've seen people post almost to true pornographic furry and loli pictures on this site, but yet I get banned. The mods are nazi's for not upholding the board's law, but upholding their own beliefs.

>Oldfags remember old days fondly, ask about old content
>Newfags decide to piss and whine about it and identify themselves as wiki champions

You youngins really need to lighten up.

They can't. It's the curse of their generation. Too many sjws and /pol/fags made them crazy.

The show itself is pretty fucking hilarious at times. Not top-tier stuff by any means, but... think of it as an Ecchi in the same vein of Panty & Stocking: It's funny because it's obscene.

>Too many sjws and /pol/fags made them crazy.
I've never seen something so true. I'm going to take this, if you don't mind.

Feel free.
The effect of too many /pol/s and sjws on a young mind is devestating and unprecidented.
Never before have youths been exposed so young and so thoroughly to this shit.

that looks really fucking uncomfortable

A bag that is always full of hooker corpses. Used it to kill a dragon one time. Exploded from the inside out with dead whores.

I did like the one about the paladin and her mount switching species and the paladin teaching her ex-mount how to be a human paladin while the mount adventured to change her back.

That also sounds pretty good, user.
Though I can't tell if I am remembering the right one.

I think he means this one.

...

You need to be 18 or older to post here.

Ah, so it was from the chicken armor threads.

Do you have archive links?

I can't say no to lucky sevens.

archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/28778423/

Thanks guy. I almost forgot about these.

>The mods are nazis, because I'm stupid enough to part-take in shit thread and reply rather than report and hide.
You've got all what you deserve, you faggot.

>Newfags pretending they are oldfags and having fond memories of imaginary good times
>Trying to impress neo/tg/ with being old
And so your mind can wrap itself about it - being on Veeky Forums for past 5 years still makes you newfag. Not being neo/tg/ doesn't make you oldfag.

>Newfag patrol arrives to shit up a thread that is already moving on

Someone's in a bad mood. Did your boss fuck your wife again at the Christmas party last night?

Not him, but mate, there was a line. Then was the black comedy line. Then there was the "average internet asshole" line
You've crossed them all long ago.

Merry Christmas

Sorry. That wasn't nice, and your right, that was a bit too much. Spent too much time with assholes.

Sorry about the comment, that a bit too much. I should of just called you a fagot.

>order of paladins aspires towards a "noble beast" ideal
>the higher the rank, the more animalistic they make themselves over to be
>the highest ranked play the role of guard dogs and pets

That's pretty good, user.

Dammit, i lost the image I made months ago with her opening her chicken legs, feels bad.I remember we started wondering about how to make other styles, and a kobold who used her as a trusty mount given by his dragon master. I also writefagged very bad smut about a two rogues being sentenced to use the twin snake armor.

You do good work, user.

Twin snake armor?

>ITT: Oldfags thinking anybody gives a fuck
You're cute

Didn't we already have this exact thread, OP image and all?

Barkolomus's Temporal Pain Accelerator

Wielded by the BBEG of a GURPS fantasy setting

Compresses time based on the wielder's stress. For every HT lost between turns, the wielder gains 1 second of action during their round.

The armor is made for penitence and to show why teamwork is important. Each subject is locked in one end of the snake like armor, and they can one move/slither around by the effort of both parties. If I remember right it had some small mind linking ability. I was one of the weird ideas the thread created.

And I think yes, that was the exact same prompt as the old thread.

More like "bunch of faggots thinking smut is good"

Also scissoring may be involved

I guess this wasn't posted for a while, so a bunch of /d/ifused spergs decided to show their ugly mugs again

That became entirely ineffective through overuse on extremely tame subjects.

>Tame subjects
>Content of this thread
user... You might consider getting out of your torture dungeon for a while to recall how the outside world looks like or operates.

Sorry user, you blew your prude load on cheesecake, and retain no stopping power for the weird shit.

Though even this thread is pretty tame, as it is second hand descriptions of writefaggotry, and not the actual article.

>Not being into extremely convoluted bondage makes you prude
>Not being vocal about your own, PRIVATE fetishes makes you prude
You know, people like you are the reason why we have prudes in the first place.

You are literally like furfags. No matter what, it has to be furry and whoever points out it's just lame/bad taste/simply pointess shit, furfags instantly call it "fursection".
Same shit here. Nobody gives a fuck about your fetishes, but you still must blast about them and calling everyone not into retarded magic realm BDSM "prude". As if there was anything wrong in not being sexual deviant.

Finally get laid, instead of having sexual fantasies of your average psych ward patient.

Very good work not giving a fuck, user. Really convincing.

Thankfully, the pendulum is swinging back the other way after you guys overplayed your hand.

A belt that sets your constitution to a very high score, but is cursed. Every time you unbuckle or remove the belt, you suffer a point of constitution drain.

By the time you realize this you've already burned through all but a few points.

Shit like those threads are the reason why entire BDSM is demonized into bunch of unhinged people who are into outright torture and humiliation, with one sided sexual enjoyment being percieved as almost equal to rape.
So thanks a bunch faggots for making BDSM look bad.

>Implying anyone gives a shit about furfags any more
People stopped caring about them after anti-furfags became the ones constantly disrupting things.

>Still not getting the message
The worst part is that you might not be just trolling, but actually being genuinely stupid.

They get the message, it's just lost all its power.

I think he might referring to that reaction image that is usually applied to stormfags.
You know, the one basically making stormfags the new furfags with their constant "look at me, I'm furry/politically incorrect/with fucked up fetishes/anything else, pay attention to me, you pathetically normal and adjusted human being!"

But in this circumstance, it's the neo-puritans doing it, strangely enough.

The other guys are just talkin' about the old days.

Virtue signalling is one hell of a drug.

I think I am going to try to track those down when I get home.
Too bad most archives don't keep images.

Orks on the bottom left

>O c'mon, u got dat 'un m8

>Neo-puritans
user, please tell me something.

Since when having just normal, average, adjusted and non-fetish based sexual life makes you prude?
Dunno, do you HAVE a sexual life in the first place, or simply like to imagine things, while calling people prudes just to feel better about yourself while jerking off to some shitty smut?

Because this all sounds like bunch of insecure assfaggots who never saw a dick or pussy in their life, but will gleefully pretend to be the biggest and baddest nymphomaniac around.

There is such saying in my country - cow that makes a lot of noise gives no milk.

Can someone explain me the FUCK this thread has to do with Veeky Forums?
Aside ofc being a proof the lack of nazimods is bad for this board.

>Everyone, look at me and my moral stances!
Fucking attention whores.

>Can someone explain me the FUCK this thread has to do with Veeky Forums?
Literally everything except OP's image and the resulting shitposting.

If you post a girl in a bikini, you are fetish baiting, or if she has cat ears, or if the dragon is slightly feminine, any mention of bondage derails a thread because people will not stop shutting the fuck up about it being magical realm, even if it was a little sarcastic joke.

All in all tho, this thread is a little fetishy anyway. What he meant is that it turned into a buzzword people use to anything at all, so when you need to use it, it has no effect because it is just part of the "le magical realm meme xD" nowadays.

Fortunatelly, we gained /d/ in the meantime and faggots like you can gleefully migrate there, to a perfect hugbox.

Well, that's what happens when you cry wolf.

>I demand that Veeky Forums becomes my personal hugbox
It is weird how the smutfags are way more on topic than the antismutfags.
One group wants to talk about cursed items, the other wants to have a metathread.

user, are you doubting a man questioning with doubt?

Shitposting makes 3/4 of the content. The rest is just people having stuck fetish sperging about it.

None of which belongs to Veeky Forums

>Cursed items
Funny, because this thread is anything, but discussion about cursed items. Fetishists pretending their fetishes are norm and everyone else is weird on the other hand make a good deal of posts here.
So fuck off

But user, they were specifically talking about fetishy cursed items before attentionwhores showed up to try and make it a metathread.

>a little fetishy
>a little
And you then blast at other people being "prudes". If you have fucked-up fetish, at least fucking admit it, rather than trying to weasle your way out of people pointing out your sexual fantasies are fucking weird.
Now THAT is prudery - when you can't fucking admit your own fantasies.