You always wanted to be an evil warlock...

as lons as I can remember

I'm with Asmodeus

>deal with the demons
Demons are chaotic and don't keep their promises.
>deal with devils
Devils will keep their word, but will use some sort of legal technicality or a wording loophole to fuck you over.
>deal with fey
Fey have different definitions of the same concepts, dealing with them is like dealing with foreigners with "Hovercraft full of eel" dictionary.
>deal with the Old Ones
The only kind of deal you can make is whether they will eat you first when they wake up and end your suffering quickly.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, UNBELIEVER

>yfw paladins are just warlocks who get a better gish pact, but are largely stuck with the Undying Light patron

Champions of deities usually are like fucking babies.

Everyone knows that doing dirty job for your boss is only good until you backstab him and take his place.
Why should dealing with deities be any different?

Well, I mean, I'm already a lawyer who works in contract law, so I may as well use my powers effectively and go with the infernal contract.

None of the fantasy devil loopholes I've ever seen hold a candle to the average End User Licence Agreement.

My nigga.

If the Old Ones remain asleep, I get some awesome power, AND I can see forever.

If the Old Ones awaken, I get eaten first and won't have to suffer.

It's a win-win scenario.

Actually the fact that it is played by the most people DOES make it a baseline.

Too bad you are not intelligent enough to realize that.

[Citation needed]

Or you are one of those fags who think world ends on borders of their state, not even just country?

Are you at least semi-aware NONE of the creatures has any obligation to uphold their end of the bargain?

I mean what's the fucking point of making pact with just about anything, if you are the only side trying to follow the rules and/or thinking there are some sort of rules? That reminds me that old truth about Call of Cthulhu - making pacts is stupid, better to abuse the power outright, as you are dead and insane just by using magic in the first place, so why not enjoy yourself in the process, rather than pretending there are some "rules"

Neither, I shitstomp both and take their powers and become the BBEG. All you bitches who would choose are smalltime.

Are YOU aware that as long as you remain useful to your boss, he will remain useful to you?

>He seriously is this tier delusional
Have you ever played Call of Cthulhu? Or, for that matter, just about ANY game or setting than D&D when it comes to pacts?
Because I don't think so.

And I won't even bother ask about real life experience, because that would defeat the purpose

>Almost 2017
>If you are useful, nothing bad can happen to you
Ask average kapo how being useful helped them... oh, right, you can't.

Clearly, they weren't useful enough.

>None of the fantasy novels I've ever read were written by lawyers

I know there are those joke novel covers, but I would really enjoy it if they were real books.

>Surely, a flee that is just slightly less annoying won't be crushed
Check again, faggot.

Making pacts is stupid. Especially if you are binding yourself to something that literally can just fuck you over on the change of mood, as you have NO means to make sure the other side will keep their bargain. Nor they have any interest in doing so.

So stay dead, cultist, but don't tell anyone you weren't warned.

>Fey
Fuck you up without even considering this as a fucking you up due to being pretty much insane/operating on different rules
>Demons and other shit like that
Chaos doesn't need to uphold any bargain
>Ghosts
Will play you like a fiddle to get what they want, in the process getting rid of you
>Any sort of cosmic horror
How stupid are you to even consider this as an option

In short - don't bother. They will use and abuse you, giving some shitty power-up for a short while, with a fuckload of conditions attatched. Seriously, that's like selling your kidney for pack of smokes and then being surprised when they stole both of your kidneys and one lung when you were on the table.

>How stupid are you to even consider this as an option
That's usually the whole point of making a pact with the Old Ones. You are either delusional or insane. Or both.

Also, deals with fey are fun if you have competent GM.

>None of the fantasy devil loopholes I've ever seen hold a candle to the average End User Licence Agreement.
EULAs aren't deals full of loopholes. They're just "I forfeit all rights I am legally permitted to." Boring.

user, I'm betting a fiver you never read any EULA to say they don't have loopholes in just their own wording, not to mention laws they are citing and the way how they interprete them.

>You always wanted to be an evil warlock
Says who?

>You always wanted to be an evil warlock,
No, I always wanted to be a girl, but if I get to be a girl warlock I'll accept your offer. Demons please, they get succubi.

Obviously it's time for me to join the Demonic Pyramid Scheme.

A ton of EULAs are garbage and enforceable. It requires no talent whatsoever to write in a contract "I own your soul. Deal with it." Writing a contract such that it is enforceable in a court of law and is not immediately thrown out requires actual talent.

A two party contract gives a 50% chance that you will be screwed. Your best bet is to form a Warlock's coven and make a pact with at least two different devils at once. If any one person in the coven is fucked over by one of the devils then the rest of the coven can take revenge.

user, I've got few messages for you:
- if it works, then it's just as good as anything else
- I guess you never heard about copyright trolling to make such stupid claims as you do
- you like being ass-raped, or at least like to watch your own characters suffer

Let's put that intro real world perspective. You want to owe protection racket to two different gangs as a safety measure, rather than not owing them anything in the first place.
That's how stupid warlock and the whole pact deal is.

The trouble with copyright trolls is that even if you have an extremely solid case against them it still costs a lot of money to mount a legal defence and so poor people and poor companies get screwed over.

No. What happens is that a group agrees to invest the coven with power in return for obtaining options on the souls of the coven after death.

Seems like it would be better to just scrap all IP law.

>be fey
>have to deal with fey
>sell soul to loved one because she already has you by the balls
>she can't do the same because she's a ginger
>wake up with dyed hair and slut powers and lover and wallet missing

I never asked for this.

>and slut powers
Ok you need to tell us more.
This could be inspiration for my next lewd character.

So there's two basic varieties of warlocks:

Those who know they are going to get fucked over, and those who don't.

The former are either convinced they can cheat their obligations, or are so damaged/desperate that they do not care.

The latter are either blinded by greed, stupid, or insane.

Playing a flawed/tragic figure is a lot of fun, so I'd probably go for "blinded by greed". Demons seem more suited to taking advantage of people like that, they play to emotions more strongly than logic.

>so damaged/desperate that they do not care

>"Yeah, this story doesn't have a good ending for me, but I was doomed from the start. At least this way I get my own chapter:"

>No. What happens is that a group agrees to invest the coven with power in return for obtaining options on the souls of the coven after death.
And that makes being a warlock a reasonable choice how...?
No, seriously, sincere question - sell me the concept of warlock and doing pacts as a reasonable thing to do.

Because so far, from my perspective it takes to be insane to even try.

>Lawful Evil
>LAWFUL Evil
>become a warlock with a devil patron
>keep it secret
>rise up through the ranks of human society
>gain a position of authority and start making new laws with harsh punishments
>all so those criminals who are executed have their souls torn out by you and fed to your patron
>everyone rejoices as crime steadily decreases and over all health/education/standard of living increases
>secretly recruit the best and brightest from all those new schools and universities you built to also serve your patron
>a few people figure it out, and rumors spread
>there are some people who make a ruckus
>but to your surprise over all the populace doesn't give a shit, they remember what it was like before, and who cares about the soul of a child raping serial killer?
>as far as the vast majority are concerned, you deserve whatever you get if you are stupid or greedy or sadistic enough to break the law
>nobody would go so far as to call you a hero, but your people genuinely love you for what you have done for them
>you're confused as shit, but you do your best to keep your patron and soul sucking a secret, restraining yourself and your students to only the most vile of criminal scum who are to be executed no matter what
>all the while your people continue thriving under your authority

Would this actually work?

But user you every character is lewd!

I like these, but I think there are alternative options depending on the DM.

To my knowledge there are no guidelines on how a warlock might escape their pact or if they would retain their power. RAW very few abilities require an action on the part of the patron, some have argued that a patronless warlock would keep abilities that do not explicitly imply an action on the part of the patron (e.g. Eldritch Master) but be unable to gain any further warlock levels until they find an alternate source of power, be that a new patron or something else.

As for the how, one could defeat their Patron (with help, perhaps from a new patron), negotiate release from their obligations(depending on the text of the pact), or simply complete the term of their service (e.g. the pact promised some undefined future favor of most likely epic proportions).

Again, I like your direction, I just think it's not the ONLY way.

Until your patron starts demanding more and/or you start running out of criminals due to the deterrent of soul devouring.
Eventually you'd have to start sucking souls out of more prisoners, for increasingly petty crimes, or start raiding neighboring realms for slaves to be sacrificed.

Well, there's plenty of bandits and highwaymen, not to mention goblins, gnolls, orcs, and shit out there. Why wouldn't you do everything in your power to capture and execute any who come near your innocent defenseless populace?

The best part about them? You have to kill them all, even the little ones. Nits grow up to be lice, after all.

Blade, Book, or Bitch/Chain?

Driving off the soul repo-men to protect your friendly warlock would be a pretty fun quest for a high level adventuring party.

Especially if they are forced to go through the demon/devil version of a modern day bureaucratic nightmare. Complete with cubicles and a never ending pile of paperwork they have to fill out. And they can't skip reading it either, not even the fine print, or they risk losing their own souls in the process.

This is actually how my Warlock in 5E is working right now. The next step is to slowly convert them to worshiping Asmodeus himself while touting the virtues of our enlightened moral system that promotes efficiency order and the success we have as proof that we are correct. . I figure a few souls is a short sighted goal while proving that "Evil" of this sort is the moral choice and seeking to convert the world will serve us better in the long run. Ill just need to get the Epic Boon of Immortality of course to see it through but either way

Clearly it's the ability to look good enough to attract people who would be into ginger fae, and to trap it up so well they don't even notice after marriage consummation.

which one has the most bountiful breasts?

That's rather beside the point user, I still want more!

Knowing fae I'd get to trap it up so well they don't notice until after I've borne them three half-fae kids.

Fey.

Sell your kids if you need, but fey are your best bet

Well I mean, he technically has a point, you'd just need to be able to lawyer people in circles and have charisma out of the ass to pull it off.

To continue your metaphor: Get in debt to every gang in town, convince them to fight over who gets to claim that debt, establish a stalemate, and then slowly make that permanent state of near-conflict into the norm.

I mean, spinning that plate would eventually kill you, if only due to enormous stress, but at that point you've got a dozen infernal patrons, so surely you can use that power to establish some countermeasures, not to mention the fact that the first one to make a move is going to get squashed flat, so there's additional incentive for them to maintain the stalemate since nobody is going to want to go first. Eternity is a hell of a thing to lose, after all.

And at that point, having wrangled a dozen devils into giving you boons, you'd probably carry a not insignificant amount of respect in the social circles of hell, a reputation which both protects you and paints a target on your back.

It's a damning gamble, but the payoff could be enormous.

This sounds utterly hilarious and I will eventually make a character out of it.

These.

Getting a great Old One Patron seems like the best idea if you just want to watch the world burn from a VIP seat.

>convince them to fight over who gets to claim that debt
They will just blow your cap for realising what you did. At this point it would be soundly advisable, because unlike baseline "let debtor suffer rather than outright kill them", this one would squarely fall under "send message to all the smart-asses out there to never, ever try something similar"

In short - the whole concept is fucked, as it is based on the assumption the people you are indebting yourself are so stupid they can't breath on their own.

I'd need to see their offers exactly.

Meaning, what kind of Devil/Daemon they are specifically. I assume depending on what they are it influences what kind of powers I get.

>Even the good natured Fey that look lovey and surround themselves with butterflies and flowers....will still turn on you and kill you for shits and giggles.

Corrupt souls are nasty tasting souls.

Demons want pure hearted and uncorrupted souls of innocent victims and children.