Mage Guild

Hear ye, hear ye, I call to order another meeting of the Mage Guild. On the agenda for today: Christmas. More specifically, snow. As we all know, Christmas = snow. Unfortunately, overuse of magical equipment throughout the modern world has caused planar warning, which has resulted in the lowest recorded snowfall in the kingdom's history. But we can't have our annual Wizard vs Warrior Snowman Building competition without snow. I therefore suggest that we travel back in time, steal all of the snow from ten days in a row (going backward, so that we keep stealing the snow that will be stolen by us in the future, therefore increasing our snow theft by ten times) and redistribute here.

All in favor?

Ay, sounds good enough.

What if we just use conjuration to make snow?

Why don't we just open a portal to the elemental plane of Christmas, Grandmaster?

In the spirit of christmas, I shall not lift a finger.

I believe the accounting still haven't made the transaction for the last time. Emperor Christmas is still really cross towards us.

But Grandmaster, do we not risk incuring paradoxes by stealing snow we will steal tommorow?

Perhaps a simpler approach? We heard up large numbers of goblins, kobolds, gnomes, and other small numerous creatures that nobody really likes and transmute their bodies into snow? Or perhaps we could freeze the southern seas and have a figure skating contest instead of the snowman thing.

This belongs on .

no

Negh, I say we go a'boot and just cast the blizzard spell of frostburn.Mordain knows we only need a few mages ta' do it.

We can even call in a favor from those hippie dippy druid bums over at the Druids Guild, even leafsmokers of their ilk can do a simple blizzard spell.

>KNOCKING AT THE DOOR

How exactly does conjuration work in regards to food? Is it magically created, or actually "borrowed" from somewhere in the world?

Conjuration is theft!

...I mean, if we can make it work, absolutely make it happen.

But a question about the logistics - we didn't have any snow in the past two weeks. Where's the initial snow that we steal from 10 days ago come from?

>Pounding at the door

>Opens the door before it starts pounding.
What's up?

Hey there, how would you like to be the first guild on your block to get snow? And I'm not talking any Ordinary snow that'll melt after 10 minutes in the sun, No sir, this snow is hand crafted by the finest men and women at Ar Tec. This Snow will be guaranteed to last all winter And it's the only snow to be given the Plane of Ice seal of approval as well as a full endorsement by the winter court Fey.

I think you should talk to the boss about that.

Of course and who might that be my good sir?

>Wordlessly points to antruthius

>Tries talking to Archwizard

Pardon me? Is this autist convention? Ah, yes it seems it is.

Well I'm here from the sage guild to inform you that this cancer belongs on the quest board.

...

But that's Incorrect. Merry Christmas.

Mages is totally on-topic, it was even asked in the qst q&a if mages could stay and the answer was yes

What about the Chanukah snow? I demand that a portion of holiday snow be set aside for non Gentile holiday celebrants.

A friendly reminder that time travel and all manipulations, by methods either magical, mechanical or metaphorical, of;

space time, real time, soft time, hard time, absolute time, general relativity, localized relativity, geodesic planar curvature, hyperspace, hypospace, any and all absolute references, Gellar fields, warp fields, chrono fields, ion fields, quantum fields, quantum flux, quantum strings, quantum foam, and official paperwork

...is not permitted.

Under any and all circumstances.

Well, what if I'm offended by your celebrations?

You made that last one up.

Need I remind you all that all official documentation is meticulously warded to ensure no such tampering can take place.

You can ask Master Abagnale about the consequences of such an attempt.

If we ever find his head.

-Sitting in the corner drinking-
This is going a lot slower than it usually does.

>Cringes
Right, of course.

Well, you know, it is a holiday.

Do wizards even have loved ones?

I had a wife. I had accidentally transmuted her into a canary. Twice. The first time was only temporary. The second time, not so much. This tends to make holidays awkward.

We do have loved ones!

It's just hard to find time to see ones, I guess.

Can't you transmute her back?

W-why did you do it again?
Are you a canary fucker?
Just kind of surprising given the type of people here.

>Shrugs

Well, there are a LOT of people here.