That Guy Thread

This is the correct response in Rogue Trader.

>Josephus “Joe” Bullet
>has no patience for daemon bullshit
sounds perfect

Bump it while I work on it, citizen.

>”HOOKAH, HOOKAH”

>"PISS AND MUD"

>NO BOSS SHE’S A HOOKAH, STOP, SHE’S A HOOKAH!
>HOOKAH, HOOKAH

Honestly, in hindsight, it was really funny. That's why I posted it here, its just at the time we were all just in sort of disbelief at what was happening

Josephus “Joe” Bullet
The one sane man.

He did nothing wrong. Defiling the chaos fantasy is almost the correct way to do it.

Joe Bullet is a true hero of the Imperium. Even Commisar Fucklaw and Codex Asartes would approve.

Maybe in a little while after
Comes back I'll share more stories from the campaign. Like I said, it was the longest running and most fun game I've ever been in. Once Joe Bullet and our Tech Priest got us kicked off a planet trying to sabotage our own luxury shuttle

>15 posts itt
>10 posters itt
>someone is samefagging this unfunny shit

>four of the posts are clearly marked "OP"

It's great that you want to participate in Veeky Forums stuff but maybe lurk a little bit moar before you post.

Had to wait until I stopped laughing before I could reply

Inspired drawfag again. Including this post, it is the third time that I'm posting here.

Should I also give you my phone and my credit card number, oh great fun-police ?

Here's a (You) instead, faggot.

Alright, I’ve had to think about this one, it's been a couple years now. Forgive me if my grasp on the details has slipped over the years

>Be relatively new Rogue Trader Dynasty, inherited a badass light Cruiser from daddy, but pretty low on funds in comparison to some of the big players in the system.
>Decide to tour some of the worlds we either own, or have exclusive trading rights with
>God damn Winterscales are trying to muscle in on our exclusivity rights with a farming planet called Aijassa.

Basically each of us is trying to court the planet into signing with us. The Winterscale’s gift was a fancy luxury shuttle. We got them a Mariachi band.

>Joe’s on it. He comes up with a plan where he and the Tech priest will sneak into the Winterscale’s base and sabotage the gift so it reflects badly on them.
>Things did not proceed according to plan.
>Tech Priest Latverna was fucking crazy and s hyper religious zealot, to the point where I wondered why we ever would have hired her in character, but regardless, she wore power armor and took a power axe with her on her sneaking mission.
>They just walked into the hangar and started trashing the Shuttle, in plain view of cameras and everything
>When a guard came up Latverna planted an axe in his skull and they went on a rampage of death and destruction until they were eventually pinned down and captured by authorities

This is where we had the group split up for a while due to some other shit happening in the game, but thats another story. I’ll tell it if anyone cares.

Go ahead.

Gonna post this first part while I write the rest

Okay, I don’t want to get too much into personal stuff, firstly because some of the relevant parties do lurk here, but also because it’s over now and we’re all more than cool with each other. That being said there were some ooc tensions at the time that reflected in the game somewhat.
In game the way it was coming across was frequent and harmful insubordination from the Tech Priest. A few examples

>Find little girl in Chaos temple, covered in blood.
>Orc Baby argument proceeds after Tech Priest moves to cave in her skull with Power Axe, and the Void Master steps in between to stop them
>I repeatedly order them to stop so we can think about this for a second but the Tech priest flips out and the only happy medium we reach is to leave the little girl covered in blood in the hallway and move on.
>Eventually reach an atrium where the archway I mentioned before was
>What I did not mention before was that before proceeding through the archway LAtverna tried to use her power axe to cut a tunnel through the wall into the room past it.
>The GM is so flabbergasted at this he describes that what’s behind the walls is a gellar field, which meant the whole temple had moved into the warp
After the trials we get to the other side and meet the Living Saint Drusus, who has been maintining this gellar field with his powers, keeping us all safe
>I must add here that all of us did multiple perception and knowledge based rolls, succeeding by many degrees to determine that this was indeed Saint Drusus, and not some Chaos illusion
>Tech Priest who is more Zealous for the emperor than for the great machine spirit still isn’t buying it
>Prepares to unload bolter on Saint Drusus until, once more, Voidmaster Maximillian Cestus intercedes
>Latverna Kneecaps him and we have a mexican stand off

Finally the DM just had a Giant Chaos Demon come in and Kill Saint Drusus so we could know for certain, before he died he was definitely actually a Living Saint and not a Chaos trick

>After all this I call Latverna into my office and calmly explain if she ever commits such flagrant insubordination again I’ll leave her on the next imperial station on the edge of the Koronus expanse with nary another thought
>Literally the very next thing Latverna’s player does is take the GM aside and tell him she informs the Inquisition about where we’ve just been and that I told her not to say anything.
>GM once more is completely Flabbergasted. This was his first time DMing and so he was not entirely prepared for how the game ended up going.
>We deal with an entire session consisting of an imperial audit by the inquisition

Complete clusterfuck. So at this point I began to draw plans against the Tech Priest, and maybe Joe, since he kinda waffled a lot on who he would side with in these interpersonal conflicts

>After Aijassa we’re going to a huge 7 day festival which all the biggest Rogue traders in the expanse would be at.
>The plan is that my Father would give each of us a medal for being us, the sort of thing my character would do and put together because I was playing p the spoiled space prince thing. Then, when Latverna would come up to get her medal men in the back rooms would fire emp grenades to deactivate her armor, and other men in the rafters would fire meltas at her until she was dead.
>We knew he would be mad so we were going to bake him a cake that said “Sorry we melted you”
>I had just gotten really into a Song of Ice and Fire, I can’t lie.

Eventually like an idiot I started telling people beside the GM about it, and one of them, when Latverna and Joe were captured by Aijassan authorities, blabbed all about it.

We didn’t meet for a month, and we weren’t sure if we ever would again. Eventually cooler heads prevailed, and we met and discussed our issues. We played other games, but that specific game was continued in secret at another location minus Joe because he couldn’t play anymore, and because Latverna was still salty.

Was this tech priest player a guy or gal?

Player was a guy.

This seems more like a those GUYS thread.
All of your players are retarded
You GM is retarded for letting this shit fly.
And you are retarded for knowing these people.....

However, I am looking forward to the cluster fuck so by all means, Write on.

...

doing the lord's work

Emperor bless this post and bless Joe Bullet

Perfect.

Very nice

>guy wants to have a silly name
Wow, what a piece of shit. I hope you berated him. But really, I do understand your frustration. I get this a lot because of where we play. We get a lot of random friends popping in and saying they wanna play. Just joining for a half hour or hour and being silly, since to them it's just hanging out, not about playing the game. It doesn't bother me too much, but it is always a big destraction.

>those eyes

...

I left to go carve an Owl and I came back to this. Glorious user. Glorious.
Yeah, it was the GM's first game, and so it went in some strange directions, for sure.

Yeah, thats all it was, he just wanted to hang, I hardly begrudge him for that. I'm going to follow this up with a list of NPC's because we kept doing this thing where we would name a faceless member of the crew and then the DM would keep acquiescing to us and making them into characters. Eventually we had this ludicrous cast of oddballs and weirdos... Just give me a sec.

Hahaha, it's so funny am I right fellows. Hahahah, this should be stickied hahahaha.

You're a bit of a faggot, m8.

Disregard this, I suck cocks.

Actually, disregard even that. At least faggots get laid.

I appreciate it guys, but that's hardly necessary.

>inspired draw fag

>He thinks that means something

Main Cast first

The Main cast
Rogue Trader Solomon Vega
>Already mentioned, son of a new dynasty, eager to make a first impression on the expanse. Started out doing a Charleton Heston voice, then I happened to start listening to the thrawn trilogy audiobooks, and unconsciously started doing the thrawn voice. After we accidentaly grievously injured a few crew mates I started sending Fruit baskets to everyone we slighted. Eventually the GM was so tired of it, he invented a ship horticulturist whose job it was to send fruit baskets, at this point an entire frozen cargo bay was taken up by fruit baskets mind you, to people I asked be sent them.
Void Master Maximillian Cestus
>Cestus’s player accidentally made an invincible character who only uses Handguns. With some really lucky acquisition rolls, the right feat and attribute increase choices, without steep penalties he is actually impossible to hit. His schtick at the start was that he was a courier who decided to steal the package he was supposed to deliver, which ended up being a Dark Eldar owned Halo Artifact
Arch Millitant Constancious Vorgan
>Vorgen’s player had suffered a mutation which made him a Giant while fighting Chaos on his homeworld of Borgovia. Borgovia is a horrible Deathworld filled with basically whatever we offhandedly referred to as Borgovian, IE “Its like a Borgovian Mantis Shrimp!” Was doing a ridiculous, and fantastic Schwarzeneggar impression the whole time

Seneschal Josephus “Joe” Bullet and Tech Priest Latverna
>Okay, so here's what went down. When we changed locations we did a small retcon so we could proceed with the game. Joe Bullet and Latverna did go to the shuttle, but the rest we would not find out about until later. After they left we were attacked by a shadowy organization we had been tracking beforehand. Then it was revealed that Joe and LAtverna had stolen our shuttle, maimed one of our men, and stolen our Warrant of Trade. It turned out Joe Bullet was also known as the notorious galactic Assassin called Killshot, and they had all been colluding with the evil group, called Shadowfist, all along. So, as originally planned We teamed up with the Aijassan local security forces and the Winterscales to fight them off, gaining an ally in the process. So at that point they both became major villains in the game and something for us to chase after.

Roderik the Driver: Initially Roderik was just someone who drove us around Port wander, and we kept giving him shit for no reason, and he kept getting more fleshed out until he was the nephew of the Aijassan Royal Family, and official Gift Basket sender, until he hired our Horticulturist, and then somehow he ended up being my ludicrously competent Adjutant. He just took everything we dished out with a sigh and then he was, like, second in command.

A lot of our NPC’s came from the Chaos temple where we made up a group of red shirts to go investigate first, soften em up. They are...

Vance Gunner
>The liutenant arch Militant. Not actually sure if his name was Vance Gunner, or if he was vance, our gunner and we just rolled with it. Either way it stuck. Had his arm blown off by Killshot/Joe. Only woke up in the second to last session of the game, and was equipped with a badass robot arm. Currently protects our cache of weapons and a nuke we found.
Kamille
>Went mad in the temple. He and another group of soldiers I left behind to guard him all became saboteurs on the ship later
Brannigan
>I think he may have been my understudy, but he never got used. Included here for posterity
Judau
>Liutenant Seneschal, shocked by Joe’s betrayal, went on a mission of revenge. Told our Replacement player’s character Valinoth about our situation and then died on mission.
Ramses
>LAtverna’s Liutenant. Informed us that Latverna had wired every room for sound and had a dead man’s switch on our Gellar field if she was ever betrayed. After removing these, Ramses was generally the only sane person in engineering.

And just some stuff we Got along the way
>A pair of Sslyth guards named Salazar and Saladin won from a Xeno Auction
>A Sentient cat with a Halo artifact around its neck
>The ghost of an ancient king trapped in the body of a Mechanical Bull
>A formerly enslaved Eldar babe we freed after killing a bunch of Stryxis, and probably starting a war
>Triplet Bodyguards in power armor hired after they failed in their mission to assassinate us.
>A corps of one of our rival’s mercenaries, who was later repeatedly shamed by us so many times his father, the patriarch of the Winterscales, had him killed
>4 other hired mercenary corps
>My accountant’s daughter as a secretary, currently dating Roderik

Alright, I think I'm going to head out now, if this thread is still around and people care, maybe I'll tell some more, but in general I was happy just to see the legend of Joe Bullet

Pffhahahahaha.

>First campaign, first time DMing
>Make mistakes a lot but we have fun, correct them as I go
>4 PCs all picked out from the Phandelver pre-made sheets
>Warlock, Dwarf, two Fighters
>7th session
>Really getting the hang of DMing
>Like RPing as NPCs, lots of variety and it's satisfying
>PCs finishing side quests for XP
>Going to see a Banshee to ask it a question about a book
>PCs led to cottage in the woods
>RP as a banshee, put myself 100% into it
>Ful descriptions from apparition to it's grotesque face
>10 longs seconds pass after I ask them what they want to do
>The Warlock looks up from his phone
>"What?"
> Start to get into again but sigh halfway and give up

Fucking dude takes forever to look at his spells too, just to end up going with Magic Missile EVERY TIME.

One if the very few Veeky Forums greentext stories I've actually laughed at.

He's basically Cain's Jurgen for your own personal use

This thread is fucking horrible

So make it better.

You're fucking horrible. But don't kill yourself over it, life is worth living, even if it's shit.

Lame post for a lame thread

My gamegroup conists of 3 people, Me, Bob, and Smith.

Every time I win, Bob whines that I am a tryhard who only cares about victory points and not TRUE FUN. Of course, these games are literally nothing but obfuscated, complex math equations that exist for the sole purpose of gaining victory points, so it's ot like we're talkign rollplaying vs roleplaying in an RPG here. His strategy for victory points is fun, mine is tryharding. The worst thing is, is that Bob is a fucking Math Major and the ONLY reason he loses these highly mathematical Eurogames is that he gets caught up in making 'engines' with infinite long term potential for victory points despite the game being only 5 round long or whatever. Or he gets caught up in 'vengeance' because if there's one thing Bob hates, it's getting targeted because he's stomping everyone else.

Every time Bob gets attacked he shouts stuff like 'Why do i even FUCKING bother!' (actual words tonight) because when we attack him it's spite and ganging up, and when people gang up on me it's 'reasonable ganking the leader.'

Meanwhile, Smith plays like a dumbass but has fun, doesn't bitch when bad things happen, and unlike fucking Bob, when Smith says he plays to have fun and not to win he means it. If this screwball mindset lets Bob win, Bob loves Smith's wacky antics. If Smith's mindset lets ME win, Bob whines to me after Smith leaves over how 'Smith doesn't know how to play and ruins it by playing kingmaker'

I've played with this guy for 10 years because we're friends, but I fucking hate him as a gaming buddy

That Guy thread
One story
A lot of writefagging
Some drawfagging
And completely 100% fucking derailed to shit

I came here to listen to stories about That Guy, and I am left to starve. Wtf tg?

I am That Guy

>Be me, space marines
>Play vs chaos nurgle player
>Footslogging plaguemarines and cultists, 2 helbrutes
>I use gravcannons in rhinos

10/10 archaeotech artifact, would put dick in.

>>That's how I champion of Malal

>warlock
>magic missile
What?

s-scourge?

that was supposed to say "s-scource"

why does anyone think this is funny?

Nobody thought it was funny, OP just samefagged himself until the thread picked up steam.

We're mostly looking for sauce on the john trapbert gif now, but nobody remembers how to sage, because summer is an eternal curse upon this site.

>a delusional poster keeps bumping a thread to prove his point, even though he's probably the biggest samefag running around here

It's like the first hit of google image search, user

>Play in a campaign that changes from tabletop to Roll20 as people graduate from uni. Change my character sheet from paper to a word doc.
>Hard drive fails. Lose 2TB of data. No backups because I'm an idiot.

>Hey DM I lost my char sheet. Can you remind me what level we are and how much gold we have so I can remake her?
>DM: Sure. You're level 7 and you have the correct amount of gold on the wealth-by-level chart, minus 6k.
>Okay then. Why are we missing six thousand gold each?
>DM: Oh you missed out on that a couple sessions ago. Should have inspected that camp site a little more closely.

I mean it's not the end of the world, but what the hell?