Stat me Veeky Forums

Stat me Veeky Forums

Other urls found in this thread:

yokai.com/shirime/
yokai.com/nurikabe/
youtube.com/watch?v=guhWasuWt-M
yokai.com/nopperabou/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

weird-ass Japanese monster/100

KYOTO
Y
O
T
I

IMMA MAKE THAT BITCH BLIND

Name: Browneye
Str 10
Dex 11
Con 14
Int 5
Wisdom 13
Cha 3

Medium President Elect, Chaotic Evil

Hellstar Regina, the early years

>when you gaze at the ass, the ass also stares back.

I don't know where this thread is going to go, but the page you got that picture from is almost already a monster manual.

yokai.com/shirime/

尻目
しりめ

TRANSLATION: butt eye
ALTERNATE NAMES: nuppori-bōzu
HABITAT: city streets, late at night
DIET: none; it just enjoys scaring people

Based on the diet, I'd say Chaotic Neutral. Not good, not evil, just kind of a random asshole. Rimshot. Double rimshot.

There's also pic related, which l think we could call the Railroader.

yokai.com/nurikabe/

>You hear a commotion from down the street.
I walk in the other direction.
>...uhh... the noise gets louder and more urgent as you move.
I keep walking.
>OK motherfucker, an invisible monster blocks the entire street. You have to turn around.
Can I...
>NO

Behold!

The herald of Veeky Forums!

And we have the winner, well played.

Well it's actually a unique monster, so it deserves better than an owlbear, but this doesn't really need combat stats. It's just supposed to annoy people.

Agreed. Either give it one HP or lots of hit points but it runs away crying if anyone attacks it. You know, a "now who's the asshole" situation. Additional rimshot.

It's just a comedy monster. The best way to do it would have it return to the PC's it's haunting no matter how they kill or trap it unless they do some specific ritual or say some particular phrase (like I'm sure it has a weakness like that as this sort of shit always does)

>just kind of a random asshole. Rimshot. Double rimshot.
I'm laughing more than I should

All the yokais on that website are straight up hilarious.

>the evil broom
>like 15 kinds of ghost bitch that stand in the rain and if you offer her help, you become cursed
>not a death curse or of pain
>instead the curse is she follows you around forever, never doing anything bad, kind of even liking you, but she'll smell like dampness and mildew and make people not want to be around her, and by proxy, you so you end up alone but with a smelly, never dry, tracks mud in the house ghost girlfriend

Yokai are more interested in destroying your social well-being than your physical well-being.

I like the one ghost of a tree that was used for a pillar but it was put upside down and it's pissed off about that so it groans and creaks all the time.

Tells you something about what ancient Japanese people were scared of. Whereas all the English/German fairy tales seem to be based on the theme of "for fucks sakes don't go into the woods alone something will eat you".

>Not good, not evil, just kind of a random asshole. Rimshot. Double rimshot.
You're a bad person.

yokai.com is indeed awesome though.

>Whereas all the English/German fairy tales seem to be based on the theme of "for fucks sakes don't go into the woods alone something will eat you".
You would think that naming their forests shit like BlackForest would make people get the hint

>like 15 kinds of ghost bitch that stand in the rain and if you offer her help, you become cursed
>not a death curse or of pain
>instead the curse is she follows you around forever, never doing anything bad, kind of even liking you, but she'll smell like dampness and mildew and make people not want to be around her, and by proxy, you so you end up alone but with a smelly, never dry, tracks mud in the house ghost girlfriend

This ain't that bad desu. Pair her up with a basement-dwelling perma-virgin and let's see who gets the shorter end of the stick.

Slice of life gag manga wen?

Soon as japan gets the picture

So is the moral of this rainy ghost girl "don't talk to strangers because they might be undesirable and everyone who sees you talking to them will see you as undesirable by affiliation"?

Well if you encounter those railroad monsters you just need to carry around some ink and a brush after which you must ink his weak points, at which point he just explodes. Problem solved, we can continue ruining your story.

That's a pretty fucked up moral lesson if that's true.

Asian culture has some pretty fucked-up morals to begin with.

Why is Japan so obsessed with the anus?

Why do they rush to suppositories as the first response in their medicine?

Asian culture is pretty fucked up in geneneral

...

>In the 18th century tobacco smoke enemas were used to resuscitate drowned people. Tobacco resuscitation kits consisting of a pair of bellows and a tube were provided by the Royal Humane Society of London and placed at various points along the Thames.[16]

Being obsessed with butt stuff isn't an exclusively Japanese thing, user.

Historical medical practices could get pretty damn weird.

> a representation of /b/ and the rest of the world

My favorite are the ones used to scare children.
There's a rench boogeyman in france that is some kind of dirty hobo in a burlap bag with a pair of ruty butcher's hooks. If you come too close to a window, he will stab you in the eyes and pull until you crash a couple floors below.
The lesson is supposed to be "don't lean on windows".

What a cute vageyena

>not eyenus

>kyoti
what did he mean by this?

Think of it this way, a death curse means that you die, but you can also die from someone just stabbing you.

A curse from that yokai means that people don't want to talk to you, they avoid you, don't want to do business with you so you either have to move away to somewhere secluded or stay in your home all the time, only going out to forage.

What I'm saying is that the curse is much worse than a curse of death. It is a curse of becoming a hikineet.

SHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
no seriously though, what the fuck japan?

>"Stop giving me the stink-eye"

>no random button
For shame.

>Weird Japanese ass-monster.

see user its about the order of the words. kek kek

Y'know guys, I kinda want a swamp-spirit waifu. She is a spirit, so zero maintenance. She smells bad, but who isn't. She is always wet, but that's a good thing - no need for foreplay. Then she has infinite loyalty and youth. All in all, I would take the bait.

I wouldn't mind.
I am already a hermit, and I enjoy the smell of fresh rain.

Before I can stat you, I must know what to call you.

>Blinker-Sphincter
>Eye-nus
>Pooper-Peeper
>Pink-Eye Guy

And I'm out of ass-to-eye puns.

>tfw no qt cursed spirit waifu

Pretty certain there's a spell in FATAL like that.

I know that feel, bro.

So much of Japanese folklore just reads like a boy trying to gross out girls on the playground.

They were deviant retards long before anime.

Or "don't talk to ghosts", which is rather sensible advice.

Seriously. Don't.

Its novwonder they look at western "demons" and go "Oh re demon king girr, vejy nise, cheap sucky ten dorra"

I think that's a Vietnam stereotype, grandpa, not a Japanese one

No thats dads stereotype, grandpa fought the japanese.

...

I knew about the tobacco smoke enemas being popular in France, but I had no idea they were also used as a treatment for drowning victims.

Come to think of it, is that where the phrase "blowing smoke up my ass" comes from? I doubt it, but it's a funny thought.

Actually, that's exactly where it comes from.

>Help! my son fell in the Thames, they got him out but he is not breathing!
>All right lady, remove his pants and spread his butt checks!
>Charles bring me the bellows!
>We ran out of bellows sir!
>No matter, I will do it the old way...
>Charles! Give me a cigar... I will do it myself!

Seriously, why is Japan's folklore full of monsters who only exist to be dicks?

>Ghost that asks if she's pretty. No matter what you answer, she'll move her fan and show her mouth's been cut like a wide grin, ask "How about now?", then kill you regardless of your answer unless you give a confusing one.
>Ghost that lives in toilets and asks if you want red or blue paper. It kills you either way, the only solution is to walk away with a dirty ass
>Giant foot monster that breaks into people's homes and demands to be washed. If they don't wash it, it stomps the house down.
>Child ghosts that run around and fuck up your house. They're good luck, but some aren't and they're just deliberate dicks.
>Turtle monsters that will ask you to wrestle and, after winning, plunder your pooper for some power source of some kind that's apparently up your ass. Only way to get by is to bow to it, since they're super formal and will bow back, emptying the water receptacle on their head and making them powerless
>Various trickster animal spirit that range from playful tricksters that (usually) don't mean harm but might cause it by accident (kitsune), dudes with giant balls that they swing all around the place who regularly mess with people just for shits and giggles (Tanuki), and things that just want to fucking kill you cause they're assholes (Nekomata).
>And an old man with a gourd-shaped head who waltzes into your house like he owns the place, demands tea, makes you believe he's actually the mater of the house so you'll do what he says, then leaves and you now can't remember why you just gave that man all your tea. Said old man also might or might not be the king of all youkai, and leads a parade every now and then that you have to hide from cause if they notice you you'll disappear.

And I thought the fey were a bunch of douchenozzles.

Kappa take your soul by reaching their hand/arm up your ass and removing it from there.

>2 spooky
>4 me

Sooo, Japan is where all of the rest of the fey locked up their retarded/sexually deviant relatives?

Japanese were cunts, it makes only sense that their mythological fauna would be cunts too.

>Turtle monsters that will ask you to wrestle and, after winning, plunder your pooper for some power source of some kind that's apparently up your ass. Only way to get by is to bow to it, since they're super formal and will bow back, emptying the water receptacle on their head and making them powerless
Yeah, someone said that already.

Probably

Just like everywhere the world over, most creatures from folklore only exist to teach a lesson or explain something unwashed masses (or children) don't understand.

>Ghost that asks if she's pretty. No matter what you answer, she'll move her fan and show her mouth's been cut like a wide grin, ask "How about now?", then kill you regardless of your answer unless you give a confusing one.
Don't talk to tarts.

>Ghost that lives in toilets and asks if you want red or blue paper. It kills you either way, the only solution is to walk away with a dirty ass
This one is actually just meant to be spooky. Alternatively, don't talk to people on the pooper.

>Giant foot monster that breaks into people's homes and demands to be washed...
Have cleaning supplies in your home, or else a giant foot gonna crush your house.

>Child ghosts that run around and fuck up your house...
You know when you lose something you swear you know exactly where you put it? Or if random shit falls for seemingly no reason? Here's a story why that happens.

>Turtle monsters that will ask you to wrestle...
Kids, don't fuck around by rivers and mind your manners.

>Various trickster animal spirit...
Don't fuck with wild animals.

>And an old man with a gourd-shaped head who waltzes into your house like he owns the place...
Be nice to elders and mind your business.

There's also other stuff like the ghost that literally just looks at you from holes in your screen. That's all it does. It just stares at you. Patch your fucking screens.

A lot of these monsters got extra shit tacked on to them over the years, especially nowadays where shit has to be edgy and malicious in order to be considered "scary," but in reality they ain't nothing more than tales to teach dumbass farm kids not to be dicks.

Good question, how do you explain the morals behind the lady ghost with a baby. Except haha fooled you it's actually a cursed rock that is going to keep getting larger until you die.

Avoid single mothers?

youtube.com/watch?v=guhWasuWt-M

Thank you for showing me this website user

Old cultural values weren't all puppies and rainbows.

"My Lovely Ghost Kana" is sort of this, but less gags and more ghost sex

That looks like a pretty good mid-boss for a Keijo-style campaign.

>There's also other stuff like the ghost that literally just looks at you from holes in your screen. That's all it does. It just stares at you. Patch your fucking screens.

Favorite story was the time an roaming doctor/merchant plucked all the eyes out of a haunted abandoned house he was staying in. For profit.

kwaidan is a great book for anyone who wants to read stupid japanese shit. Tough choice for favorite story being the completely nonsensical one involving a samurai and his tree wive, or milky nipple tree.

this asshole is a dog yokai the waits until you arnt paying attention and runs between your legs and makes it hard to walk until you shout at it and tell it to fuck off.

>When you can't write "never nuke country twice" because it's older than that

favorite tidbit from the yokai website

>DIET: mainly a scavenger; occasionally eats ships

>nuke Japan enough that they become weirdos that get off from having their cities wrecked but not enough to finish them off

Top fucking kek

That's just a regular dog...

Hey, I bet the Japanese feared woods monsters before. They just got "civilized" and adopted a bunch of shame monsters later

Oldfags gonna old

Shouldn't that be a cat? Smug li'l fucker used to do that to me all the time.

Source on that?

Man I love youkai.

The weirder the better.

BTW, what was the name of that one female youkai that lived in the mountains, caught people with her hair and swallowed them whole through a giant mouth on her forehead?

Some Yokai would rather fuck you up. The iconic Oni will spread plagues and crush you with a club.

Came here to post this.

why has nobody rolled for anal circumference?

Yeah, but show him your pussy and he'll laugh so hard he can't chase you.

That is good hood advice.

>tfw none of these as spanish
Feels good when you only have to fear the local child-rapist/murderer and ETERNAL FIERY DAMNATION.

Well traditionally in Japan the soul was believed to be contained within a jewel-like orb within the bowels.

Yeah, but you've also got the traditional shitter in the nativity scene.

You've got some weird-ass traditions, man.

Rolled 22 (1d100)

yokai.com/nopperabou/

Maaaan, I have no idea what the fuck kind of lesson this is supposed to tell, unless it's just "Merchants are fucking dicks". But it's still funny, I wouldn't even be mad if I was the guy getting scared, the shit with a group of these guys teaming up just to fuck with some poor guy is just too good.

Haha, if only it were that simple.

it is

>not undersranding the meaning of the man who shits

I know Veeky Forums is dumb but...

So, I'm starting to notice a trend with some of the monkey yokai on the site that got linked earlier. I've seen two so far, Satori's and Hihi's. Out of all the other yokai I've seen on the site, these are the only two that apparently have a thing for rape. Like, Hihi's are implied to do it (they "particularly enjoy" kidnapping human women), and Satori are outright stated to take women back to their caves and rape them.

Seriously, the fuck is with Japan and rape? Moreover, why is it the monkeys that do it? Does Japan just hate monkeys or some shit?

>"three fingers" is thinner than "normal manhood"
What kind of baby fingers does this guy have?

No, it's because apes actually tend to pull that shit in real life.

Can't spell rape without ape

Are you asian?
Just curious.