The wizard teleports your kidneys out of your body

"Come on James, psions can do that stuff why can't I? There is even precedent in the wizards spell selection to force someone into teleporting. Friggin 3.5 having a spell or feat for everything ruins creative thinking!"

d20srd.org/srd/psionic/powers/balefulTeleport.htm
dnd.arkalseif.info/spells/city-of-splendors-waterdeep--16/trobriands-baleful-teleport--341/

"No, Steven. If you wanted to research that type of spell, you should have brought that up earlier. You don't get to just ignore the rules of a spell and substitute other ones whenever you want too.

Maybe you should have thought ahead and picked out Psion as your class instead if you wanted to do such things.

And besides the Psionic spell teleports random bits of flesh and not specific organs. So no, you don't get to do that particular action."

Wizards can't teleport kidneys out of people, that's fucking retarded.

That would take some real eldritch magic and your bog-standard Wizard who doesn't specialize in it will never manage it.

Stick to your fireballs and tiny hails of ice, you basic bitches.

Thank God for that, those were rigged to blow.

You don't even want to know what I'm using for my liver right now.

how does that make any more sense?

>wizards can teleprot shit
>wizards can teleprot specific shit
>all the sudden wizards can only teleprot specific shit except when some completely arbitrary situation arises like wanting to teleport something that is inside something else where both of those things are organic and connected through yet other organic tissue
magic is magic, you really need generalize more; specialization leads to death

that little shit doesn't need both

The mechanics of magic demand that you can only teleport whole objects. Kidneys, while attached to a person's body, are thus brought along with the entire body.

See it as if the raw stuff of living projects an anti-teleportation field around the edges of the body. You can teleport the whole body, but not stuff in and out.

Teleporting just the kidney? he would need to know the exact dimensions and location of the kidney, or be in physical contact with the kidney.

Teleporting the kidney + other bits around the kidney? Sure I can believe that.

It depends on theories of objectivity. Is the kidney it's own object or is it part of the object that is the body? Is wizard teleportation based on objects or based on space? if it is based on space the wizard needs to know the exact location and dimensions of the kidney or he'll teleport either only part of the kidney or the kidney + other stuff. It if is based on objects it entirely depends on your theory of what makes an object an object.

In a machine is each cog an object or do the pieces together make up the object that is the machine? Both has a lot of implications. If it is the machine then teleporting individual parts of it separately becomes impossible (if wizard teleportation is based on objects). If not then teleporting the entire machine becomes arduous (as there as so many objects).

You seem to be the one that hasn't thought this through.

so I guess I die from internal bleeding?

right...

except that magic is magic based so a wizard can magically sense where the kidney is
because magic

>Implying I haven't cultivated Cold-Iron kidneystones
>Implying the pain of passing those fuckers through isn't gonna be worth sodomizing the wizard to death with a halberd

>magic does whatever I want it to because it's magic
Go back to RPNation, squiddo.

it doesn't mean teleporting a kidney wouldn't be harder than teleporting a rock you can see and hold in your hand (and would therefore have a higher difficulty/challenge/skill/etc. rating); it just means you have to roll higher

>implying those aren't canon magic abilities in more fantasy settings than I can count
>see PSYCHOMETRY

you filthy casual

I've really been wanting to build a magic system that allows for this. My idea is to make all spells use combinations of material components. So like, a special dust to make it a teleport spell, a leaf that makes it a targeted spell and a frog kidney macerated with a piece of basalt to make it target the kidneys. Something like that.

They are also far beyond anything but the best wizard in more settings than I can count if not down right impossible.

If your response is "it can be done in this setting" then your response is essentially meaningless.

There are some mages that can do this in my setting, but they're not wizards and if they took the time to kill you like this it'd be only the beginning of the end.
>Sword magic is canon in some fantasy settings
>Fighters casting spells? Get that weebshit outta here!

>yfw a Wizard marches into the middle of your encampment with a lump of flint, a handful of ground brimstone and a wooden carving of a penis

What if the teleportations of wizards were like Star Trek transporters?

>Said the true That Guy

inorite!
why the hell can't fighters cast spells? this isn't some midichlorian bullshit

So it doesn't work every other session, because of warp polarity inversion conduit interference of the week?

I take out my own emergency stash of an ounce of ground viper scales and a scale model of the human nervous system, and thank the lord that my mother was so eager to instruct me in transmutation.

think about what you just said for a second...
you know the first point is wrong and the second is just downright nonsense

>think about what you just said for a second...
I did, you're still the retarded one.

>you know the first point is wrong
It is not in fact. Being able to tell the exact location and dimensions of a kidney is a human body is actually an very uncommon power for mages in fiction.

>the second is just downright nonsense
"Magic can do this because it can do this in one setting" is meaningless. There is a setting where every time you use magic your body head increases so anything more than a few parlor tricks cooks your brain unless you keep yourself in a bath of ice water. Pointing at "this can be thing in this setting" in meaningless.

Mage the A* beat you to it, senpai. Look up the second editions of both Ascension and Awakening.

>I'm retarded
what are you 5?
>psychometry magic is uncommon in fiction
how casual are you?
>still not making sense
define your setting, define your rules, and when talking in general actually talk in general (not the way you want it to be)

to conclude again: psychometry is common in magic settings

the wizard kills whoever he teleported the kidneys out of so long as they're mortal, had kidneys, and can't magic them back in (or someone else doesn't)

>If you dont lick my pathetic little player balls guy who is the centerpiece of the game I, the easily replaced player, will get mad.
No Im just not dealing with your bullshit.

So let me get this straight. Rather than just teleporting you 100 meters above (or 2 below), the wizard bothered with pretty precise teleportation of specific organs and making his life harder, so he can watch as his enemy collapse due to the sudden and intense internal bleeding?
This is not creativity of the player. That's pure stupidity, ranking up pointless penalties to the roll.

Maybe he likes to eat kidneys?

So teleport spells in your setting leave all equipment and clothing behind?

>The virus spreads

Basically this.

Most spells, teleporting included, make enough assumptions (like teleporting clothing that you're referencing) that wild extrapolations can be made that can only be logically countered with "nuh uh, cuz I'm the DM"

this man speaks the truth

also, OBEY your GM

As a forever GM I fucking HATE players that argue with me.

I'm not a shit Gm. I want you to do rad stuff by twisting abilities in weird ways to do neat things. But when you're arguing that you should be able to overshadow the other players and ruin their fun I fully and sincerely believe that you should quite -literally- kill yourself.

Nice. I will look into this.

got really lucky and ended up having a group of players that only argued with me when I made a continuity error in the story - it was fucking amazing