In this thread we post things bad players think:

>>ohhh im gonna make my character a drow, everyone will think thats so cool!

Nah, not really.

The trick is to come up with a good short-term plan in the meantime with the goal of getting time to think. My personal favorite is "book it and come back."

>The GM will enjoy it if I veer off story so he can improv. GMs love improv.

>Giving my character an accent will make role playing more immersive for everyone.

>genre conventions are ironclad, so I already know this guy's going to betray us.
>don't worry, the DM won't actually kill us, we're the protagonists.
>everything mentioned is important.
>anything the DM didn't mention is irrelevant.
>so when do I get my own arc? You did make one for me, right
>said in session two

>character death is something to be avoided at all costs
>my idea is a great idea, even if half the table in and out of character have pointed out gross flaws and other methods that are as likely to work and less likely to fail
>Well, it's not my turn, let me pull out my phone
>I can do my bills and pay attention at the same time, why is the gm mad?
All of these things have happened to me.

>it's fine to keep making hail-Mary life-risking decisions over and over, because my DM will let me roll a new character.

Depends on the situation
>Surrounded by 50 ogres who are charging us
>Now lets stop and think about our plan for a few minutes

Do you prefer
?

Because I find that more annoying. At least the guy trying to stay alive is doing what a real character would probably do.

See, that's what the intermediary plan is for.
Step one: do something about the "surrounded" part.
Step two: distance.
Step three: come up with step four.
Step four: ???

>At least the guy trying to stay alive is doing what a real character would probably do.
This real character also ignored the teammates who told him to his face that his plan was terrible, would burn all kinds of bridges, had massive failure chance, AND could be safely replicated with none of the above pitfalls via another player's skill set.
What the player was going for was flash, not substance.
I would expect to be reined in by the party, or to not be doing this with every character. They would get a talking to fairly quickly.

>>>ohhh im gonna make my character, everyone will think thats so cool!

Depends on the context. You need to gauge the risk of waiting vs the expected gain of producing a better plan. Quickly figuring out how much better you can probably do something given the time to properly research all the facts, without having researched all the facts when you make the figuring, is a valuable skill that will take you far in life.

adding to the list
>people who think game time and real time should be 1:1

>I would expect to be reined in by the party, or to not be doing this with every character. They would get a talking to fairly quickly.

Not him, but I've seen entire parties of this. It's sometimes even metagamingly planned around.

>Say, your character has a deficit of expected equipment. If you get him killed, the new one will have more standard WBL

>Well, we need to scout out the area. Your character is the weakest and thus most expendable, if he dies, it's not a huge loss.

It's maddening when it happens. Short of kicking the players, or leaving the group, I've never found a solution.

Shouldn't be 1:1 but letting players plan for long periods of time in immediate situations takes the threat out of a game.
>We are being ambushed
>Okay lets sit down and discuss our plan for 30 minutes

>Hey guys what should I do during my turn?
>No, lets here what X has to say
>If I do this will Y be able to stay alive?

I don't mind preparation or combat chatter but don't stand around for five minutes having an actual conversation in battle. What I generally do to force pressure on the players is I use a simple hourglass timed for a minute. When your turn starts I flip it, if it runs out before you start rolling your turn is skipped. I also limit players to combat speak, someone can say a couple lines of dialogue during their turn and other players can use their reactions to respond. If you used your reaction for something else tough luck.

If you don't like pressure that is fine, I won't judge you but I find being able to plan out everything when you are supposedly in danger to be retarded.

>Chaotic neutral or chaotic evil means my character is insane

>Tortures work
>If not, simply apply more of them

The first would be talking to the group about metagaming and why it's generally frowned upon.
Then talking to the individual players that trespass.
Then warning them.
Then booting them.
>the gm admonished me for flagrantly breaking a rule of the game he set down, he's an asshole!
You are pushing to absurdity, user.
An ambush situation can only have a handful of things identified and planned out, really.
>where are we, time of day, surroundings, marching order, all of which the players should already know
>what is attacking us, what does it look like, what direction
>appropriate information gathering rolls made if need be
>players declare their actions

Jesus fucking Christ. My current group is like this. I often just go for a smoke and brew a tea while they are busy overthinking the most basic choice.

>Even if I can't do the accent, I will still try, because having good intentions is enough to succeed.

Objectively false, user, an accent is perfectly fine so long as it can be done with something approaching regularity.

Similar and much more annoying one
>Hypnosis allows me to ask everything and anything and GM will totally have to reveal me all the informations

Objectively true. Accent is literally the most pointless shit you can do to a character.
Bonus points if this is your "home" accent, so rather than being an actual effort, you rather stop bothering with your regular, unaccented speech and just talk as if you were having a conversation with your grandma that only speaks in local dialect.
I know waaaay too many people doing this shit to consider accent a sign of good roleplaying or effort.

>An ambush situation can only have a handful of things identified and planned out, really.
Yeah my players once spent an hour digging a trench as part of an ambush they were setting going so far to see the logistics of how much they could dig in the time they had to prepare and everything. You could easily spend 30 minutes planning your response to an ambush especially if you are as autistic as my players. Either way I like to enforce pressure because when I play I find it more entertaining knowing the clock is ticking and I can't just sit around discussing a plan all the time.

Nigga you told me you wanted to play a wild west game, quit telling me to build a wall just because I drop into a more spanish sounding accent and use a lot of spanish words.

>Accent is literally the most pointless shit you can do to a character.
>this character is clearly from another area of the setting
>denotes that they learned the language they are speaking later in life due to *insert situation*
You may as well say a Russian immigrant to England shouldn't have an accent, it informs a lot about a character and serves to differentiate them from the people around them. This serves even better if they are of a minority or ostracized group, immediately marking them out by npcs.
I'm sorry you've just had shitty players, user.
They are trying way too hard to "outthink the GM".

>The goblin has a renowned warrior hostage and threatens to kill him if you do not help him overtake his boss.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I should've just have the goblin slit the hostage's throat instead of waiting legit fifteen minutes for them to make up their mind.

>I come from a country with no local dialects
This is literally the only reason why you can consider accents a valid roleplaying tool.

And before you go all tipy-typy, go fucking check what a dialect is and how it simply differs from local accent.

Different guy, but I generally hate my players trying to do accent. So many of them fail at it, and hearing them try--in extreme cases--is uncomfortable for everyone.

>If you don't like pressure that is fine, I won't judge you but I find being able to plan out everything when you are supposedly in danger to be retarded.

This is true. However you've also got to realise that the players are fat neckbeards in a basement and their characters are battle-hardened veterans practiced at making split-second decisions in response to their surroundings based on years of experience. They also have a better understanding of their surroundings since they're actually, y'know, there.

>If I make my character racist, I'll have a good excuse to make actual racist remarks disguised as roleplay. Everyone will love this.

>Alignment dictates all my actions no matter what happens.

Eh, I like using accents as a DM. It helps the players keep track of who is talking without me having to explain every time the speaker changes.

>Roleplaying is for acting out my fetishes.

If you're good at it, it makes for a great game. If not it's a holocaust.

>I'll make my fursona my character.
Inevitably leads to
>Why did you kill my character?! REEE

>Accent
>Not doing voices instead
Fucking disgusting

There is worse thing than this
>I will make my character be racist toward obscure race X that we will probably never meet, because this is a valid character choice and provides free points during character making without actually requiring from me my character or being racist in the first place.

Not a furfag, but why killing? It's literally pointless, spiteful and childish, a typical That GM behaviour consisting of
>I'm going to kill any character you make until it's a character I personally like

>Then booting them.

Believe me, I've tried the progression. I've never gotten talking to work.

Yeah but you do it so they can't truthfully say you didn't.

No no. This has happened to me twice as a GM and they both made dumb choices and got themselves killed and blamed me, both losing their respective shit.

>Accent
>Voices
>Different things

Accent is part of voice.

>If I make my character have enough flaws, the GM will let me have superpowers.

Please tell me you are just baiting and not so fucking stupid to not understand the difference between making voices and speaking with accent.

Accent is an aspect of voice. You cannot speak without an accent.

Ok, so you are simply stupid. This sadly sometimes just happens

Jesus Christ...

Making voices meaning changing your voice to make it sound different, higher, lower, more effeminete, more guttual etc.
Speaking with accent means you are still using your normal voice, but change pronunciation of words.

It takes to be brain-damaged to not understand the difference.

Every voice has an accent. Every. Single. One. Even if you're not actively changing your pronunciation, you're still speaking with an accent, because YOU have an accent. What accent a voice has changes the listener's impression of a character. Hence, accent is part of voice, and voice is a part of character.

If you took a second to read and think instead of defaulting to the assumption that everyone except you is a dumbass, then you might have actually learned something.

...

>If you took a second to read and think instead of defaulting to the assumption that everyone except you is a dumbass, then you might have actually learned something.
The irony of this statement is killing me with laugher.

Have you at least fucking notice it was all about making voices? I mean... Jesus... you just can't be this fucking stupid, can you?

>Confusing making voices with voice as a sound emmited for communication
>Berating anons for not not reading the posts
There is such saying - when you are chin-deep in shit, maybe it's time to stop digging deeper.

>Making my character a drunk and then using that to justify poor decisions will make for a great game

>Drinking while playing an alcoholic is a great way for immersing entire team, especially when I have zero alcohol tolerance

By golly! People on the Internet can't understand that accent is a characteristic of voice that affects a listener's perception of the owner of said voice, similar to pitch or cadence! I do hope they don't call me stupid for pointing this out again, that would sure hurt my fee-fees!

>It's best to take the least risky, most sure-fire decisions, regardless of context, situation or stakes
Followed by
>Since the turns aren't real time, I have all time in the world to ponder about my combat moves.

>I've read the post wrong
>Rather than admit it or shut up and use the anonimity to carefully escape repercussions, I will keep pushing
>To the point I will pretend the original subject of discussion was the stuff I've read wrong
Newfag, why are you so newfag? I mean this entire site is anonymos for a reason

Voice the accent is do make. I speaking?
Oh dear. I imagine you have a big ol belly, a big ol' beard, a high-pitched voice and a collection of non-authentic Victorian hats.

The original point of contention was that speaking with an accent and doing a voice are two separate things. I contend that they are the same thing, my reasoning being that every voice has an accent and accent is an important characteristic of one's voice. The argument made against my case is that I am a stupid, brain-damaged, full retard newfag. Being that as it may, I believe my point still stands.

2 for 4, my friend.

Damnit. Well you can't be right all the time.

Deep voice and...period-accurate swords?

Yeah, I see your point.

Back to thread:
>Every party needs a leader, and I will be that leader.

>>Every party needs a leader, and I will be that leader.
This suprisingly depends greatly from group to group. And since group dynamics are a thing, rarely a "self-proclaimed leader" ends up as "actual leader" when the group stabilises. If he/she does, that means they actually DID possess the proper qualities to be the leader from the start.
Small group interactions are fun to study, especially when entire party is made from people aware of this shit, like psychology or sociology students.

>Player agency means derailing the game and doing whatever I want with no consequence.

>If a GM does burden me with consequences, that means railroading and That GM

this nigga gets it

>If everyone just brings some snacks, surely I don't need to contribute, because there is so much of this stuff it would be pointless anyway, let's just enjoy it together

>It's a great idea to use crust-and-fat covered fingers to flip pages in the rule book

>A character I don't like is hogging my spotlight. My best way to fix this is to kill him in front of everyone else in the party.

>Welp, we've arrived in a new town. Let's immediately try to burn it down, just like the last three towns!

The complaining happens even if you don't try to get your players killed. I once had a player die in just a mundane combat because of bad rolls, and he accused me of hating his "awesome" character, and refused to play with me.

I hate that as both a player and GM. If nobody else is, I try and play as the risk taker or the guy with wacky plans beyond "cast fire"

>Surrounded by 50 charging ogres
>Do nothing
>Ogres become confused by our inaction
>Ogres realize that we are not the ragtag group of adventurers that stole their sacred relic
>Ogre chief gifts us a sack of rubies as apology for almost murdering us horribly

So ends another exciting adventure for the Fellowship of Indecisiveness!

I dunno, user. A difference in speech helps stay in character and distinguish IC and OOC.

>A difference in speech helps stay in character and distinguish IC and OOC.
What the last group did was that once the game starts, OOC is designate by raising a hand while you speak. Everything else is IC. Yes, even the "gonna take a leak, be back in five".

If things don't go my way, I'll just sulk and cry and threaten to tear up our friendship until the GM does what I want.

That's not being a players. That's being GM's GF.
Yes, even if you're male.

>Maybe if my GF and I's characters fall in love, the DM will think we're great at role playing

Maybe I need those 5 reasons because my image is fucked

>alignment is black and white
I'll never understand the appeal of lines drawn that just clearly say "this guy is a good guy, and that guy is a bad guy, therefor they will fight 100% of the time because otherwise their gods will kill them".

It's like watching logic fall apart the same way you'd watch a house of cards tumble.

>if I have the cute player's character raped, then she'll like me!

This is so awful. Alignment is a sort of general "what they want to do." But people have to do things that collide with that sometimes.

>Anime is a good source for character inspiration right?

Just like said - if you want to speak OOC, you rise a clenched fist at your ear level, elbow at right angle. Otherwise it's all in character.

I eventually bought myself a small hourglass, measuring 20 seconds. Can't make your mind in your time - your PC freeze in panic.
And whenever I can, I try to use the old initiative system from ADD, but that's not working in all games and situations, so still the hourglass helps.

That's EXACTLY what being a lousy player is.

>Surely if I read the source book, my character should know all this stuff too, after all he lives in this world

>I should make a thread about things bad players think

>I don't need to know how my class works I'll just ask the DM
>It's ok to look up my spells and abilities mid combat