ITT: Your characters reaction to a surprise birthday party

ITT: Your characters reaction to a surprise birthday party

>"What's a birthday?"

>A party? I have been stuck in the Eye of Terror on a crusade for the past century, not knowing whether tomorrow would come to me, seeing my brothers fall before my eyes, feeling pain unknown to anywhere else in the galaxy...
>I thank you, noble children of the God-Emperor. Let us praise His glorious name on this blessed night!

NO!

SQUAD BROKEN

TO ME, BATTLE BROTHERS! SPESS MEHREENS! THE ENEMY IS PAST OUR DOAHS! TODAY WE ARE SPESS MEHREENS, THE EMPRAH'S FUREH, AND IT IS THEY WHO WILL KNOW DEATH, AND DEFEAT!

Awkwardly stand in silence while everyone is singing Happy Birthday to him.

Confusion. He only has a few friends. Why would they try to surprise him?

He'd be pretty glad,but concerned on how other Agents managed to find his birthday.That's if he doesn't have to do a SAN roll

Confused since she doesn't know her birthday and outraged at such flagrant use of supplies.

Mild embarrassment, followed by repeated "you shouldn't have"s and "I don't really deserve something like this"s.
Then thanking each and every person present personally, inquiring after their family members or their own health, how little Bernice is liking her new prosthesis, whether John is having any problems with his magically-reattached left leg after that carriage accident, and almost no words about himself.
Gifts and cake would pass amicably, and he would personally see everyone off at the end of the party.
After which, his mentor/GF would give him her gift, an enchanted ring.
The ring is too large for his fingers or toes.
It's enchanted with the Contraceptive Protection spell.
He would break out in cold sweats, because he recently discovered she's actually a goddamned dragon.

Too much surprise activates his contingency. This activates his best friend's contingency, which in turn triggers most of the other contingencies in the room full of wizards.

The entire room explodes in planar chaos but it's okay because no one is actually in the room anymore. The presents have escaped.

>Contraceptive Protection spell
>A ring that protects you from contraceptives
it'satrap.jpg

>It's not my birthday, dumbfucks.
Or, if by some miricle they do know my birthday:
>Ha...ha... Uhhh... H-how? How did you know? Who have you been talking to? Whatever they say about me is all lies... Wait. Who was it? Who told you? Was it a woman?! What did she look like?! TEEEELL ME!! (intimidation roll)

...

Rolled 32 + 4 (1d120 + 4)

I don't know how to roll, I guess.
dice+1d120+4

FUCK. ME.

F-fine! But just because it's your birthday!

Dice+1d20+4
>kills self

HOW DO I ROLL?!?!?!
Dice+1d20+4

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

Ah. No caps on "dice".
I could really use it after all that.

user, fucking stop and read the sticky, and then log off for the night.

MY PEOPLE ARE HATCHED, NOT BORN. ALSO, I FIND IT STRANGE THAT BIRTHS ARE CELEBRATED. BIRTHS ARE MEANINGLESS UNLESS THE ONE WHO IS BORN DOES SOMETHING WITH THEIR LIFE.

WHY IS THERE A PILE OF SWEETBREAD WITH CANDLES IN IT? IS THIS SOME SORT OF SACRIFICIAL OFFERING?

It said the "email field", by which it means the "Options" field. I actually got which field it was right the first time, but I capitolized the D in "dice".

Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Fuck it, failed anyways.
>Marik cries like a little bitch about how his mother was raped and tortured in front of him, and how she told stories of how pure Marik's bloodline is, and about how all he wants to do is find his mother and continue his bloodline with her.
>marik then tries to kill everybody at the party.

"Wait, how do you know my birthday? Even I don't know my own birthday!"

To step back, and start spraying' niggas

Not quite, user.

Alarmed, as he never told the other party members, followed by the realization that he hasn't had one in years, again still followed by the realization that apparently he has people who see him as a friend instead of just an efficient member of the group.

Eventually he will grow overwhelmed by the number of people and sum of interaction and go somewhere to unwind. He will probably cry a little and do what he can to push it back once he realizes what he's doing. He'll go back, but mostly only hang around that one party member he's closest to.

Probably the best day of his life.

>limit is Presence score
>the more hot you are the more difficult it is to prevent getting impregnated
checks out with me

That would explain why most men don't get pregnant yes.

Terror

The only people who know his birthday are trying to kill him

Presence in this case is just how strong your soul is. you start out at level one with 30, then gain 5 per level.

Probably freak out in excitement before realizing she doesn't remember her own birthday and falling into a well of existential dread and horror wondering how someone else does.

Guns, explosions, horror, leaving and never coming back as there is no apologising for the result

>"Who are you people and why do you care?"

...