40kchan

Hey there /xno/, you know what. The imperium of man sucks. Fuck you commissars and the emperor. I'm glad to leave the IOM and head for the tau. I am defecting tonight. I will share highly classfied defense protocols. Have fun getting blown up by railguns and try to catch me!

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P.S. you guys on this hellhole might have a little... rough ride with your tanks and aircraft.

Enjoy taking big blue dicks up your tiny little asshole, herefag.

lol

You inquisitorial twats are so annoying, btw, check your cyclonic torpedoes, the warheads are gone.

The Tau are the way to go. The IOM is crumbling, and stagnating. Did you also know that the emperor did not want to be worshiped and wanted the imperium to be secular?

Ahh, yes. Great I hacked into your cogitator network. Now all your battle plans are mine for the taking!

>this herefag thinks I'm an Inquisitor shitposting when the Emperor's Inquistion have better things to be doing, like tracing his cogitator and hunting him down

Joke's on you, dickweed. I've been on sentry duty on the warheads all night, just getting off shift now. When exactly were you supposed to have snuck in? Go back to /schola/, kiddo.

[citationus needus]

Dude, just defect to one of the renegade human colonies. They are protected by renegade space marine chapters that aren't chaos worshipers. Yeah, the colonies are a bit hard to find, but once you get in it's pretty cool dude. Btw, your children might be snatched up for Space Marine recruitment, but that the price we pay for freedom.

>renegade space marine chapters
>aren't chaos worshippers

Choose one and only one, herefag.

I better not catch you in the jungle you fucking turncoat

Shows what education you have Imperifag!
wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Renegade_Space_Marine_Chapters_(List)
Enlighten yourself!

I better not catch you in the deserts of t'ros, my friend. Oh, did i hurt your poor feewings. Im sowwy.

You talking shit on my Catachan brothers xeno?

you remember that odd little loader slave. That was me in disguise.

What the fuck? This just gave me a dead link and redirected me to an Inquisition logo. Is this a joke?

I sure as hell am.

Yeah, i'll snipe you with my pulse rifle before you know that you have a large, gaping hole on your forehead.

The one the watch officer took into the storeroom who walked out ten minutes later walking bow-legged?

P.S. I am gue'vesa, meaning human helper. I am human, I defected to the tau.

Oh, him. I took him out (made him unconscious because I am not about to murder innocents, not like the inquisition.)

Hey everyone, Venedig user here.

You fucking cunts

You fucking fucking cunts

Seems the Imperial Navy user wasn't fucking lying when he promised to pay my planet a visit. Imperial strike cruisers littered the sky, barrage after barrage destroyed our farms, a strike force of guardsmen and our Astartes friend raided our towns.

My own fucking family was locked in their barn and set on fire. I only escaped because I was out tending the fields when it happened.

A Tau Auxillary fleet managed to fend off the rest of The Imperials, but the damage was done. Is THIS The Emperor's "peace"? Kill as many people as possible and hope you catch a few heretics in the middle?

That because you are using Imperial Internet Service. You see, I am using stolen Ork Inta'Net Pluz, which the is surprisingly fast. Plus the Orks really don't care we are using it (since they seldom use it themselves).

Imperial truth, circa M31 faggot.

Hey man have a free hug. I am going to defect. MY entire world was caught in an exterminatus. I was off-world, thankfully. I know what is like

>Wants to push against stagnation.

I wonder who's REALLY behind this.

Some inbred motherfucker didn't listen in church back on his backwater groxhumping agriworld.

I use Tau Bluebook, along with my tauugle cadre internet service, its blindingly fast, even faster than the imperiums rate of advancement!

I used to live on a agri world yes, but my entire world was destroyed in an exterminatus (courtesy of the inquisition.)

GUESS WHAT FAGGOTS MY TAU DROPSHIP (ITS A MANTA) HAS JUST ARRIVED, ALONG WITH MY GANG OF DEFECTORS. SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE LITTLE BITCHES AHAHAHAHAHAHA! P.S. AN AUZILARY FLEET IS DESTROYING THE IMPERIAL NAVY ABOVE ORBIT!

I will offer one, and only one reminder to all Imperial citizens upon this Noosphere network that the Xenos race classified 'Tau' is highly prone to the assertion of malformed data in an attempt to spread its heretical creed to Imperial data-networks. Current falsehoods correlate with known 'Water Caste' socio-engrams and as such should be treated accordingly.

Ave Deus Mechanicus.

Pssh, you worship a C'tan and you don't even know it. How's that for a redpill you dumb toaster fucker!

btw this is me in my sweet new tau armor

Shouldn't have been fucking those grox then you heretic scum. I wish they'd whacked your planet thirty years earlier so I didn't have to read your tired tauposts over and over again.

shit

You worship AI in the form of machine spirits.

HOLY SHIT GUYS! I found a Necron Power Sword. I'm gonna ask my chapter master if I can use it in battle. He'll probably say yes because us renegade space marines are cool like that.

Make that thirteen years ago. Seriously, kid, get off the network before your drill abbot kicks your ass up and down the schola.

Fuck the Tau! Fuck the Imperium! Fuck all of it!

All I can feel is rage, a bloodlust I can barely control. I fucking HATE it! To hell with the "Greater Good"! Where the fuck was it when the bombs dropped?

Yes! Good job Gue'vesa friend! You am be making descision of much wise! Imperium not like Tau Empire. We has much great benefit and rewards, commisars here not! Much pay gooder, food gooder, living gooder, you like much yes?

You say you coming at Tros? Is much good. Come and be finding me at Tarokeen, look four Shas'La N'dras Arara. Me hook you up. You want job? Me find you place on defense force. You like Tau? me find you company. Know plenty of Tau women with "Gue'vesa fever".

Look, *pulls out laspistol* stay down, and get away from the altar. You will become a monster. A nine foot tall daemon. Nobody wants that, so just stay away.

Right, also I sabatoged most of the defenses on my word which i was stationed on. WE should organize an invasion force.

Yeah, daemons are almost as gay as the imperium. Fucking Spooks!

Correction, abominable intelligence possesses self-improvement engrams that are abhorrent to the Omnissiah's vision. Machine Spirits do not possess the same paramaters, as cited by the studies on the Logis Engine and Juris imperatives upon the Silica Animus. Your ignorance of the inner workings of technology is quite indicative of your choice in inhuman masters, subhuman, an incompetence only rivalled by your inability to fool this network.

But there is one thing, I heard about Kronus, and what happened to the native human population. Will you make sure that kronus will not happen again. IT was a horrible embarrassment to the Tau Empire.

... Zoggin' 'ell mate. An' 'ere Oi thotz da blue gitz were sahpost' ta be good wif tech stuff.

>siding with space communists
>thinking Tau bitches actually want your dick
>implying the Ethereal caste won't have you castrated and enslaved for the "Greater Good"
Fucking heretics, man. Dirty xenos-fucking heretics. Get exterminatus'd. I've got a virus bomb with your name on it.

My tau cogitator is 100% AI, no servitor brains here or there. It is much more faster than the imperiums one!

Tau do not sterilize! God! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS! IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE, ON KRONUS! PEOPLE WERE TURNING INTO 9 METER TALL DAEMONS! THAT IS ALL.

Sorry Mr. ork, that was a mispost.

Your misunderstanding of the Logis Engine is further proof of your inability to influence logical matrices with your deviant philosophy. A lack of comprehension in the layout of holy Cogitators, coupled with a poor choice in abominable intelligence integration, cross-referenced with your inaccurate and speculatory assumption on the data processing of holy machines does little to serve your cause, but by all means continue to assist me in proving the supremacy of the Cult Mechanicus.

This does not correlate with the Tau habit of forced sterilization. Xenos out.

Did you know on renegade planets we have... SCIENCE? Renegades: 1 Imperium: 0

I meant to show pics of my armor, supposedly they have the same of an ancient 'humie aircraft. I used it once for an history class
(my agri-world had some form of education)

If you defect, you can build and create as much machines as you want. The tau will give you free will to do so!

As we do on Imperial worlds, renegade, or are you unfamiliar with the Astromechanicum research installations and the purpose of Labratoriums? It is fitting that your own show of ignorance is the driving force behind your defection from the Imperium, and further proof against your radical miscategorization of intuitive mechanics as 'wise.'

Do you know that we have a sizable force on tau worlds Renagades:0 Imperium:0 Tau:1

Says the organization which hoards STC technology which could benefit the imperium. Says the organizations which is mostly responsible for all the stagnation.

What, you mean maintaining old as fuck technology and literally praying they still work? Don't make me laugh, statist!

Me in my armor

Another base misunderstanding of a grander calculation, another blow to what little respect the Tau Empire might possess as a supposed people of 'intellect.' The Imperium does not know how to properly venerate the Standard Template Construct nor its ascendant Spirit, as you yourself have proven it would be a miscalculation to allow standard Humanity access to the animus of Old Night. So saith the treaty of Olympus Mons, the Cult Mechanicus will provide sanctuary within a galaxy of heretical, illogical and dangerous innovation.

Humor was not an intended imperative of the response, further, praying is but a part of the many rites that my kind performs upon machines both ancient and revered or new and untempered. You appear to be misinformed on the roles of the Martian Priesthood, perhaps the Juris have erected safety protocols to ensure sensitive rituals are not transferred to those who do not properly revere the Quest for Knowledge, such as yourself.

>he thinks gue'vesa'la get pulse rifles
laughingtaugirls.png

Did you already forget those red cyborgs in the Damocles gulf? Those were Inperium, you know, not some mysterious race which just happened to have better tech than the tau.

Also, what happened to Aun'va? It's almost like he was killed and the Tau are pretending he didn't or something...

Inperium: 2 Tau: 0

It is only natural to rebel against such an unjust "emperor" friend.

Long have our people suffered under the armored boot of the Imperium.

Perhaps you will spare but a moment to listen to the revelations my people have come to before siding with such strange aliens?

You am meaning like Gue'la Imperium doing has been with Emperor-God for years 10,000? Checkmate Toaster-fucking Gue'la, get fuck.

Hey buddy, one tip. Try to improve on your gothic. It doesn't make you look educated.

hey anyone want a pizza roll? leave a comment on this webzone if you want a pizza roll

Well, it is a myth. Gue'vesa do get pulse rifles, only when serious shit starts to get through.

No one wants a pizza role, mr. basement-dweller. Go jack off to some more anime.

>tfw you see inferior xeno try to win argument with glorious human

Go home Nurgle, you're drunk.

By the emperor, here i am trying to enjoy my rations and have some peaceful time for myself and suddenly this faggot comes by, starts rambling about joining the tau and shit before running out of the trench into the mine fields. Fracking bastard must have gotten some weird obscura or something

Thorians suck! No come-backsies!

Perhaps you would like to listen to my lasgun xeno fucker

/xno/ isn't the place for ration-eating, guardsman. Go to /ig/ where it's safe.

Nah man, /ig/ is just talking shit about commissars and cirkle jerks about lasguns, this is where i can laugh at xenos and how bad they are

Holy grox shit, i did not know they had network in the underhives or that mutants had acses to it

Hey, Toasters need love, too! Why don't you go find a purpose in your life, or I'll come and give you one in death you little fleshbag!

Why the fuck have you got hooves?

You are irrelevant. But we'll get to you or your successors. They will have no saying what happens to them like you have none with the tau.

Those are just high heels.

Not only he abandoned the Emperor's Light, he tainted his body to look similar to his foul masters in a pitiful attempt to fornicate with one of them.

Leave and never come back. I know that the Noble Ethereals have told us all not to start up that inter-Caste rivalry shit again, but I honestly don't know why you Fire-Caste are even allowed on 40k chan, escpecially /xno/.

99 times out of a 100, whenever there's a shitposter trying to derail a nice thread and a start flame war with some Imperium poster, it's always some bored Shas'La/O/whatever and it's always delivered in cringey-as-fuck, broken, Low Gothic that would make an Ork confused. For fucks sakes you guys are al let as bad as Necroposters.

Please leave this board to those whose experiences with Gue'las extend beyond shooting them, shooting with them, and (in a disgustingly high number of cases with you Fire-Caste) "shooting" into them.

nothing personnel kid

>Be me
>Be Tallarn Baneblade operator who has survived battle with the eternal enemy.
>Survive Taros campaign.
>Get rotated in and then out of the Spinward front.
>Has seen worlds turn from the emperors light only to get fucked by either Xenos or the eternal enemy and have to save those still sane and reasonable left on the world.
>See Tau labor camps of castrated "Individual thinkers".
>Watch a unit defect, join the eternal enemy then smash against our lines being killed to a man.
>Get sent to shithole after shithole to spread the light of the Emperor in a Baneblade across his galaxy.
>Finally get a break so go on /xno/.
>It's just a Xenos circlejerk... again.
Every xeno loves talking shit till the full might of the Emperor gets laid down like the law it is. Though I will say this thread is the best example for why we have to purge the lot of you. To all you traitors when your Tau lovers castrate you don't come crying to the throne to save you, you already turned from his light long ago.

Also to the other guardsman and any tech-priest. Recently my Company got a new Tech-priest (Or should I say Tech-priestess) attached to our company after the last one was promoted out of our unit to cooler dunes far away. Regardless how does one go about getting to know one of these Machine ladies? They are always so distant and don't talk to anyone how do I approach and talk to her? What do Tech-priestess like to do? Seh does seem pretty fleshy for a Tech-priestess though, Holopic attached.

>Fink'in dat dees ar' all ack-shu-ly serious posts
>Implyin' dat OP ain' jus' a Metal Git shitposta' 'imself

It Alwayz makez me Laff when Oi'z seez all dees humies an' Blue Gitz take da bait, an' yet still insist dat dey're da smart ones. Oi'z meanz really, git it togefa gro/xno/bs.

Knew I shoulda executed him days ago.

Orks... You know of all the xenos I have to put up with I hate you all the least. But a xeno is a xeno soooooo.

Actually is this that same gaurdsman with the Yandere, Blueberry stalker, or someone else?

++++
In normal space, the traitors aren't as numerous as they'd like you to think. So, there's no need be so infuriated. After all, heretics are attention whores.
Anyway, for your question...
Like machinery? Like the Emperor? Like the smell of oil and incense in the morning? Then, mate, you're in for a treat! Most low-ranking techies still have most fleshy parts. This includes the nether regions.
Just talk to her, pick something that you both like doing/seeing. Ask her about what she likes to do, other than praising the Omnissiah. It's simple, realy.
++++
++++
I am truly sorry, my friend. If only you truly knew WHY this was necessary.
Know, however, that the guardsmen aren't here for the killing. They REBUILD. While the war against the alien might take a heavy toll on our own kin, the men and women of the Guard are also meant to restore infrastructure. This means that your farms, your cities, your will be rebuilt in... let's see... about six months!
++++
Sorry if I made any mistakes in wording or spelling, I've suffered heavy damage during the last charge.

You got to close to chaos is what happened you dumb Kuffar. You toed the line for to long. Also why did you post about your realspace info in /xno/ what did you expect flowers???

I keep forgetting traitors are louder not exactly more numerous just more pronounced when they are around.

To the Techpriestess... I'm thinking of trying to talk to her next time she goes for the rituals of the machine spirit on my Baneblade. Should I bring her Steel Magnolias or is that not subtle as a first meeting thing?

Pretty sure its the same bastard.

So i was captured by some Eldars and they destroyed all my weapons and told me ithey either can kill me or accomplish a prophecy that one of thei psychic leaders had years ago. How fucked am i?

Hey /xno/, got a bit of a problem here. I am stationed on some backwater agriworld that I can't be bothered to remember the name of, and command got it in their heads to "join" forces with a nearby Craftworld.
Normally I wouldn't complain, one more target that isn't me for the enemy to shoot at and all... but this one Banshee just won't leave me alone. She follows me around like some kind of puppy, sitting next to me at the camp, trying to drink my amasec, speaking something in her foul excuse of a language... swaying her hips when she walks in front of me...

Anyway! What's gotten into her? What should I do?

Much more comfortable then that cheap stuff the Emperor gave us.

Comfort is weakness entering the body, traitor.

Chances are your Commander is shagging the Farseer on the regular already, I say go for it. Those Xenos have muscle control like you wouldn't believe, Singapore Kiss doesn't even get close to what I'm describing.

My friends beg to differ

Hello? I need help! These Eldar are nuts and are trying to convince me to do something that would cause the death of billions, i have resisted so far but i don't know how lng i will be able to resist their psychic assults.

Hi impirifags, yet another defector to the Greater Good here. By the way, meet my gf, much much better than a humie wench any day!

>he tainted his body to look similar to his foul masters in a pitiful attempt to fornicate with one of them.
Whatever works, champ. At least I'm not a virgin anymore, unlike you.

Well, I won't deny that there's a certain... appeal... to them. But what of the Commissar? I like my brain matter where it is, thank you very much!