You stumble across a tearful female orc

How do you approach the situation?

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Rolled 11 (1d20)

Roll to seduce.

Depends... Will this result in another QT Orc Girl thread? I liked those.

...

Those markings clearly indicate the worship of a heathen god.

Convert if possible, which might have a good chance of working since, in this emotionally distressed state, she is likkely looking for someone or something to turn to that can make sense of it all. If she refuses, purge her in the name of the Shining One, say a short prayer, and continue the glorious work of the radiant.

She seems unimpressed with your efforts.

Like a Lawful Good cleric of the general concept of good.

Meaning all that matters is that she converts. Good will do the rest.

*insert edgy humanity fuark yeagh XD response here*

I check my map. Clearly I've been going in circle if that pump n' dump is still there.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

> With an Axe in my hand and a song of rage in Trog's name upon my lips.

Rolled 183 (1d1000)

dandwiki.com/wiki/Grog_of_Substantial_Whimsy_(3.5e_Equipment)

I take a swig from my hip flask of substantial whimsy to see how it improves the situation.

whelp

good thread

Ignore her. None of my business chummer.

*Burns Spellbooks*

>>PC grows another set of arms just beneath their normal ones.

I think you've just spooked the poor girl, lad.

Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>PC grows another set of arms just beneath their normal ones.

I roll to compassionately hug the orc, with a +2 bonus from my extra arms.

...

It seems your hug is very awkward and does little to comfort the sad female orc.

Rolled 107 (1d1000)

I take another swig, it's bound to improve my chances(I get 4 max)

>107
>Whenever the PC is struck with magic, the surrounding 50 ft area shifts as though it were the opposite time of day. (actual time does not change)

user...

Rolled 118 (1d1000)

I notice no difference and take another swig, reasoning that it didn't work the first time.

(honestly whatever clusterfuck occurs, it's at least bound to be entertaining)

Me and my merc companions ask her if her issues can be solved a sufficient amount of violence and if she has anything worth our while to make us throw that violence at said issue.

"Right. So who beat you up?"

>118
>PC gains a valve that has a coin slot attached to it. The PC can insert the valve anywhere, deposit the number of gp for a grog, and it will dispense it!

You have an opportunity, but how do you use it?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>PC gains a valve that has a coin slot attached to it. The PC can insert the valve anywhere, deposit the number of gp for a grog, and it will dispense it!

CHEER UP AND DRINK MY BODY-BOOZE!!!

"Nobody..." she says between sniffles.

this bitch is fuckin impossible

"I can fix that for you."
I ready my weapon of choice.

"Body-booze?" The female orc seems as confused by your actions as she is sad.

This sounds like something I'd read in a garden variety doujin

>no 'if its you' or LETS CUM TOGETHER

shit doujin desu

underrated comment

Rolled 236 (1d1000)

The female orc discards her fur cloak, revealing her ample breasts and muscular torso. Her eyes, still moist with tears, flicker with the fury of a storm as her hands crackle with lightning.

She seems reluctant to attack.

Its green, kill it!

source? reverse image search isn't helpful.

Rolled 14, 6, 2 = 22 (3d20)

triple suplex

I begin screaming and farting so hard shit beings to spew out my anus and my throat goes hoarse.

How is this even a question?

artstation.com/artwork/Remav

Err, well, you know what, never mind all that, here, have a drink.
(I hand her the Flask of substantial Whimsy without thinking)

Rolled 9 (1d20)

Unzip my dick and start choking the cockatrice.

>an elf wanders into the wrong forest

I bet these two trade headhunting stories and as the evening grows long, and the fires dim, and they sink deeper into their cups the occasional brojob

She nods her head in thanks but does not sip from the drink.

"The Elders say it is not wise to drown your sorrows in ale," she replies meekly. "Grandfather would be disappointed in me... I cannot let him down."

Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

I'll play her a song on my lyre to try and cheer her up.

fucking finally

The young female's mood seems to brighten as your melodic verses seem to calm her down. She offers you a big, innocent smile, baring her sharp Orcish teeth as she does so. Seemingly having forgotten her woes for the time being, she perks up.

"You play so well," she chimes. "The clan could use someone of your talent during the festival tonight."

Rolled 1 (1d20)

Rolling for seduce