Dirty Veeky Forums Secrets

These threads are fun.

What secrets or opinions do you avoid revealing to Veeky Forums or your gaming group for fear of the reaction? Anything goes.

I've never actually played a tabletop rpg. I just shitpost buzzwords to incite arguments and it works every time.

I like anthropomorphic animals in my tabletop RPGs and I legitimately don't get why elves and dwarves are more popular than say, ratfolk.

>What secrets or opinions do you avoid revealing to Veeky Forums
Nothing. I bare my soul to you assholes and all I get in return is scorn. I love it.

I think that the definition of a game being "Sandbox" as a diametric opposite of a game being "railroading" is incorrect and misleading, and that it is quite possible to mix the two (which would almost certainly be a disaster), and that pretty much everyone who defines a sandbox in terms of the number of choices the PCs have is an imbecile.

What, were you the thick-rumped faggot trying to become his group's cumdump?

I used to post in /gdg/ threads all the time about an RPG I was working on, and got a fair amount of interest. However the design was too ambitious and when I got a full-time job I put the project on hold.

Now I'm working on a less ambitious RPG inspired by a different beloved property without a tabletop adaptation and I'm afraid to post about it because in the back of my mind I'm scared someone will be interested, then disappointed if I stop development.

On the other hand, it could help keep you motivated, and garner helpful criticism.

Its up to you, but it might be a good idea to try.

one group I dm has a couple queers and they're all generally faggot sympathizers being art kids, while I'm secretly a full pol 1488 natsoc. orcs = niggers and drow = kikes in my setting though neither feature much in the campaign.

I sympathize with you, not the yugioh hate but the sentiment of religious saging to advance a personal agenda for the greater good.

I work really hard on being a good dm and making sure my players all have fun, bring in new people and make them feel welcome. I help people in threads when they need advice.
Secretly I just want to run circle jerk erp games where we all fuck at the end.

>post deleted
well I guess he wins, it was literally a dirty enough secret to get deleted. this board is really going to hell.

>Secretly I just want to run circle jerk erp games where we all fuck at the end.
Do you run online? If you do, its not too hard to.

Just gently ease into it, ask your players what they might like. Be firm that if they don't want to, sure, its fine, they don't have to.

I met one of my best friends that way. A PM to a DM for a game I joined on a whim, asking how comfortable they were with such things. We really hit it off, and now we talk daily.

my girlfriend was into the idea, so I think we'll just do some one on one stuff for now, move into group stuff later on

Fair enough.

That's the key, is all. Take it slow, see what people like. Best of luck.

Mine is I honestly just like these threads because it gives me something to do. I don't post all that often, and these threads often show some people that need encouragement, and I enjoy giving it.

Every monster encounter I run turns our regular game into a horror game where the players are being hunted down. I don't know how to pull off intense encounters any other way.

I hate this kind of poster. fuck off

I have the same problem. Every major encounter I do either turns eldritch as fuck or into a slasher villain within ten minutes of me fielding it.

I want to be the elf

I have only been in one group my entire life. We campaigned for 3 years steady together and 1 year with a few core players and some fill-ins. Generally the numbers hovered around 5 people including GM. It was like a surrogate family for awhile.

The fact is that as close as we were I was legitimately humiliated to be around them in public and made every effort to keep our games inside and behind closed doors. Not because of the game, but because of them.

I was acutely aware of how lolrandumb they could be at all times and how spectacularly spergtastic they could get in restaurants or even on the street when the mood took them. Even if they didn't behave this way I was aware that we all looked pretty fucking pathetic on basic principle.

My dirty Veeky Forums secret is that I secretly think I'm too good for you fa/tg/uys, despite the fact that this probably makes me a bigger piece of shit than most of you.

i like to DM more than i like to play
but i always bitch to Veeky Forums that i'm forever DM to fit in

I think the whole setting of DnD is fucking ridiculous. The only thing I can stomach in regards to that stuff is Baldurs Gate. The rest of it is just high fantasy crap.

Thank god for riotminds.

I finally did a new thing with a sort of a "The Ghost and the Darkness" thing where a mining camp was being slowly hunted down by a manticore. It was a new sort of horror that I haven't run before, because the players should have been much stronger and more capable than the thing that ended up terrorizing them. However, it killed a lot of people and even got one of the PCs who was stupid enough to wander off alone. And then they finally killed it after several sessions.

I haven't enjoyed a single campaign my DM has run in about a decade.

Well, I can understand that, at least. Honestly, it literally sounds like family at that point. People you really like, but they can just be fucking embarrassing as hell sometimes.

>My dirty Veeky Forums secret is that I secretly think I'm too good for you fa/tg/uys, despite the fact that this probably makes me a bigger piece of shit than most of you.
how so? I don't even go near those groups, at least you stuck with them. I took up DM'ing just so I could handpick my table (and games) rather than deal with the repulsive fucking autists and degenerates that swarm the scene; the only alternative was imposing myself on grognards 20 years older than me.

I don't feel bad for it at all, all the ones I've been around long enough to understand have been only attracted to rpg's because of how it enables their personal issues and fills holes in their lives, not because their interest in the games. they're parasites, I couldn't care less if they think I'm a piece of shit for not putting up with it.

I've only played about ten games of Adventurers League yet I still pretend to know stuff about tabletop.

Also I think Veeky Forums can be amazing and helpful but most of the time you are a bunch of dicks.

Just want to rape and pillage the NPCs, know my group will not allow v.v

Also, talking politics this year has ended poorly for me.

I don't actually play any ttrpg, even though I desperately want to. I'm so autistic that the crunch is impenetrable and the thought of actually meeting other people to play with fills me with insecurity.

I enjoy DM'ing but I secretly think I'm a terrible DM.

I shitpost about my homebrew rules, and they worked alright, but I don't know how to post them and I don't really want to work on them anymore (playtest group soured me on it).

I think I'm an okay player but I'm not sure how to improve my roleplay skills. Which I'd like to do as I feel my characters are too "self-insert" and I want them to progress away from that.

I can't stand one of my friends when I play with him during certain objectives. Specifically if it requires a difficult skill roll he will bitch because he made his character a generalist and the roll would be even more difficult for him than the more specialized characters. Worst part is that he's more experienced with TTRPGs than me, so I think he should know better.

I want to run a few different games for giggles but I fucking suck at writing campaigns. I need some pre-generated stuff for me to use as a starting point and most of them don't have much that I can find.

. . . Well fuck

I want to learn more about the Dm's world and setting.

My group(And DMs) seem to want nothing more then to fight and reap rewards from doing so.

Is it to much to ask to want to have a comfortable moment were nothing is wrong?

That's Veeky Forums and online in general mate. Nut up.

I made an F-List profile of more than one NPC with a nameswap. I'm not a furry (they were humanoid profiles), but it's a big weight off my shoulder that I destroyed both of them. I'm going to change their backstories so that it's untracable.
The best part is that you bastards can't prove shit without outing yourselves. I've washed my hands of the matter and my conscience is clear.
Also, I would totally write and sell novelizations of my campaigns and characters on the market if I got the greenlight from my players. Yes, I would put my shit writing into an already flooded market.

Real talk.

Have you tried talking to him?

Just play 5e AL at a store. There is almost no crunch and the people are nice and welcoming in my experience. Just ignore the few weird ones.

I desperately want to play in an actual campaign but I have no friends that would play with me.

Yep. But he's too interested in running HIS game.
I end up running games just so I can experience the type of game I want to play in.

Have you talked to him about DM enhancement products?
It's an awkward subject, but if you two value your roleplaying relationship, an investment to make sure you're enjoying the encounters.
Maybe get some new dice to help spice up your table.

Not really an opinion, but my group doesn't bother with EXP. In most of our games, we just level up when the GM tells us we do, usually after an important event or grand victory, and we all level up at the same time.

No idea if this is considered bad practice around here, but we've just found it much easier to just eschew the concept altogether.

There are no local stores.Anything that isn't local isn't an option, since I don't even have a driver's license.

I read the barest minimum of a system's mechanical details before GM'ing or playing it. I have no idea how just about anything in Shadowrun works, for instance. My players roll die, and I make a snap judgement on the spot about whether or not they succeed.

I've never played a game with more than one person. Either my buddy DMs for me or I DM for him, both of us using DMPCs as crutches for each other whenever things get messy.

I make threads instead of posting in existing ones because I want (You)s but I'm too timid to partake in existing discussions due to fear of nobody responding to me.

That's how we do it. I like it, personally.

Its generally called the Milestone method.

Here, mate. Have one on me.

Thanks dude. You made my day.

Didn't know there was a name for it.

Thanks for that, now I know what to call it.

behold double yous
i call them yubs

Here's a recent one:

I'm playing a femboy character that tends to crossdress either for the hell of it or to mess with people. I've hit on a huge amount of NPCs and a handful of gods. Basically the character is a weird version of Freddy Mercury that has a plan to take over the world.

>Honestly think it's one of my most interesting characters in a while. From a glance it seems weird and awful but the character frequently defies all odds to save everyone he can, even when that everyone happens to be a drake trying to eat the party.

So, yeah, I played a character who legitimately fell into all kindsa magical realm/special snowflake tropes and then played the straight up man with a plan and the will to see it through.

I forward people who post their fetish shit to Pathfinder General.

I've false-flagged a few times by accident, not reading too deeply into the thread and assuming it's fetish shit, and I apologize for that. However, the state of /pfg/ is such that me treating it as a fetish containment not only works, it almost improves the thread. They're running straight up ERP games there now, complete with a Towergirls Dragons campaign. Truly /pfg/ means Perverted Fantasy General.

I might feel sorry for the actual Pathfinder players, except that they're the ones who do not outright revile fetish posts from the start and prevent this from happening. Better them than us, though I'm trying to carefully keep the status quo. Too much and /pfg/ goes the way of Dungeon World General, then we've got a bunch of fetish posters who no longer have a containment board to use.

Sometimes its the little things. I know how it goes.

Hope you work out of your timidness.

We used to have a straight up ERP general.

It worked fantastic as a containment unit for the most part, we just had one fuck that atusimed and falseflagged until it got banned.

Really, people who can find people they can talk to about shit they like tend to congregate rather then spread it around. Its just nature.

Exactly. Having personally discussed with a Mod on the IRC, I've learned that WS/tg/ is one of the few things they actually do care about, so there will be no change in that regard, but they are willing to turn a blind eye towards normal threads that go that way, so long as images remain fairly censored.

Basically, /pfg/ acts as the perfect cover. It's Worksafe on the outside, /d/-lite within, though it could use some variety in terms of fetish.

I'm a very old-fashioned guy with even older ideas. This is not exactly a secret anymore but it does influence my gaming a great deal. I refuse to play 5E because of the genderbending bullshit. I will not buy any gaming product if it has either a nigger or a female fighter on the cover. Nor will I buy any gaming book written by a woman. The same rules apply for miniatures, I will not buy female fighters or niggers, the exception being Eureka's slaves. As a DM, I do not allow female fighters, nor have I played with any non-white players for about 30 years.

(You)

Dude just Skype the dicker and be like "tell me about your setting".
As a foreverrGM I can confirm we love to talk holes in people ahead about our settings

I work really hard to make sure every post I make on Veeky Forums is friendly and encouraging because I'm a squishy baby.

It actually sort of hurts my feelings when people are mean back. I don't know why I still hang out here.

Generals were a mistake.

Generals are inevitable, and you have no idea how the board, or any image board works if you think that excising them from the board would be a good idea. It would just result in Veeky Forums turning into /v/ and Veeky Forums

Usually I take the time to think my posts through, but sometimes I just shitpost or run off-topic because I'm bored or my autism flares up.

I've been playing tabletop miniature games since 2002 and I've never actually finished painting an entire army/squad/taskforce/etc.

That's funny, because I make a point of directing vitriol I'm really good at it at anyone I detect being soft or friendly. I fully believe I'm performing an important service as airs of hostility discourage cancerous newfags to make their bed here, being coddle redditors, unlike the normal posters here who wouldn't bat an eye and actually have something to contribute. The board's survival rests on making cancer like you unwelcome.

>nor have I played with any non-white players for about 30 years
I wish I had your group.

I've actually been here for like three years or something. Cancerous, yes. Newfag, no.

Yes, creating a containment board for generals will result in Veeky Forums having a containment board generals, very insightful. /a/ has also successfully kept out the cancer without needing any divine intervention, even with sage rights being taken away, but that's only because they're /a/.

>Generals are inevitable
We went 7 strong years without them (curiously only occurring with the infestation of redditors), and every other chan (curiously not infested by redditors) has never had them. They were considered extreme cancer since the day of their creation on /v/. All their continued existence will do is result in Veeky Forums turning into /toy/. There's barely even a board left, it's all generals. You might not realize how Veeky Forums culture operated before you joined the site, but this kind of isolation and circlejerkery was not it.

>2013 isn't new
What the fuck is this meme?

Yeah, well, fuck you too, buddy.
I started out a real shitter when I first came to this site and the honest (or often just mean-spirited) criticism made me a better poster because I realized I wasn't getting any fake internet points for free and I actually needed to put the effort in and, if I didn't get my daily dose of (You), to get the fuck over my diva ass.
So go fuck yourself and thanks for putting in the time.

Alright, so what do you suppose we do, besides sitting around with our thumbs up our asses whining about the existence of Generals?

Personally, I might agree with you if we managed to update system specific pages on the wiki with what would be the content of Generals. Or managed to treat the wiki like a viable resource.

>We went 7 strong years without [generals]
Not even the guy you're responding to, but that's complete and utter bullshit.

You're cute, user.

I always believed that stories of girls who feign interest in a hobby for attention were just a reductive fantasy. But recently I've been thinking about kicking out one of my group's female players for just that.

She always insists on bringing her current boyfriend to the game (and then banning him when they break up). She talks about how nobody believes that she plays D&D, so she carries it around everywhere - except, apparently, to game night. She's always disrupting the game and starting off-topic conversations. She never, ever remembers what happened in any of the previous sessions. And even though she just took a character from level 1 to 20 over the course of a whole fucking year, she still didn't know most of the effects or rules for the spells her character used up until the very last game.

Is it wrong to boot someone from the game just because you know it'll be more fun without them there? I know it's important to her, but I think that's mostly because she just doesn't want to be excluded from anything her friends are doing.

>she carries a d20 everywhere

Fixed. She's a pretty blonde girl, for the sake of context.

I would've said sage and standard community moderation but obviously that battle is lost. Realtime imageboards are the future, somewhere in-between an irc and a sticky, it's really easy for them to achieve a healthy velocity, only needing as little as 10 or so regulars to not feel dead, while still being scalable upwards. It makes them perfect for an explosion of many micro-boards for the splintered chan communities. Just give it time to spread from the /a/vant garde to the little people.

Generals did not exist on Veeky Forums at any time before 2011.

Whatever you say, newfag.

Just fuck her already

I was the designated DM of my previous group for about 3 years, and they all thought I was the most well prepared guy ever because I knew off the top of my head what every NPC's names and stats were and made it seem like the entire world was prebuilt by referencing notes constantly and drawing the maps super fast.

The truth is that the entire time, every single session of every single campaign, I was winging it. The notes they saw me taking weren't about some complex geography I had constructed, but were simply me writing down my own improv so I could reference back to it later and seemingly maintain continuity. When they noticed a contradiction, my go-to move was to have it be the work of a doppleganger (in fantasy settings) or a cylon (in scifi ones).

I also watched more movies than any of them did, and constantly ripped them off for B-plots. I literally reenacted Die Hard with them in Shadowrun once, doing an Alan Rickman impersonation for the bad guy and everything.

My girlfriend is one of the other female players in the group and she doesn't pull any of that bullshit at the table, so this advice is appreciated but I won't be following it.

naw man I'm sorry, but you gotta fuck her now.

>Generals did not exist on Veeky Forums at any time before 2011
They absolutely did. Unless you're only counting threads explicitly titled "generals," as opposed to an endlessly reposted chain topic which is exactly what a general is (but with the added tag in the subject field), of which there were many. Pretty sure the color blue existed before the word did, too.

Well, okay, but if this doesn't work I'm blaming you.

Then just kick her out. What kind of question is that? Is it wrong to boot someone out? It's your table, you're the boss.I don't allow kikes at my table. They fuck everything up, every time

They didn't exist in the form they do today. There was no OP pasta, no regulars, previous thread links or archives and no strict adherence to the thread topic. "Generals" were just a shitpost specific enough to a certain show/game/etc that it would mean everyone in the thread would be familiar enough to spark a discussion. At most, someone outright asking, 'anyone seen this?' Completely organic with no divorce from the rest of the board culture.

I don't have to explain this to you, newfag, you can just look at /a/ right now and see for yourself, ignoring anything with an OP subject. that's how it worked everywhere and it worked just fine, as hard as that is to imagine.

Strong bait friendo, but somewhat undercut by the fact that I'm handing over the DM's seat to a first-timer this year. I can deal with a player dicking around, but I don't think it's fair that a new DM's efforts should be undercut by a player who doesn't really give a shit.

I'd have to strike up a party conspiracy to give her the boot, but that seems underhanded. Was hoping that someone with experience kicking out a player would respond, but I got /r9k/ and /pol/ instead.

I've never played tabletop but I have some experience with MUDs. Even though it's been a good while since I've played one, I remember being a dev for one when I was maybe 16. And I only just recently began showing interest in dnd once I found out the mechanics were almost the same. Except everything isn't automated in dnd, which I think gives more freedom to the players.

How is it dming for a one on one game? I've never played but I have a friend who wants to try it out too. Thing is, they don't have any experience with the game either. Even less than I do, so it's likely I'll end up as dm.

My biggest concern is it'll end in disaster over me not bending certain outcomes in their favor, or even flat out not allowing metagaming, and ruin our friendship. My friend is the type of guy who will want all the powers and cheats in a game (as in vidya, not tabletop) and then get bored after 5 minutes but will refuse to actually play it.

I have a few solutions in mind. But nothing soundproof just yet.

Well, I run a very open table in a megadungeon, it's not like a long campaign with a consistent group so it's a lot less serious, it's just spontaneous get togethers with whoever's down. If I don't like them, I just mention to whoever brought them that the dynamic wasn't really working, tell the person directly if I know them.

I'm not kidding about the kikes. I don't keep around degenerates and queers either if they're the kind to be attentionwhores, you know the type. I run my table like a kickback, I'm happy to have friends of friends but I don't have patience for bullshit

Just talk to her and try to understand why she feels disengaged and see how you can get her involved. It's a pretty complex deal. If I was in your position, I'd assume it's largely stemming out of an insecurity of her being seen as a girl gamer like you describe as well as a need to 'maintain face' by keeping a distance; she's making a point of acting disengaged. It'd be solved by helping her have a more important role in the party, situations where she felt she made real contributions and letting her ease into finding the fun in the game without feeling obligated to like the nerd shit. I play with a lot of pretentious art kids and when it's just one or two in isolation with a not kool kid group already into it, the girls always need this guidance with more emphasis on balancing the nerd shit side (if the group is all kool, they're eager to jump in to fit in)

If you can't make any progress, then talk your regulars how they feel about her and the dynamic, individually, in private, confirm it's causing trouble, let another session or two roll by to give them a chance to try and get her engaged in game and maybe talk to her themselves. then come to her with the pink slip. She shouldn't' have to force herself to be there.

I'm a total newfag.

I don't like the idea of playing old editions because it stinks of nostalgic stupid rather then the belief that its better

I don't buy into the infinite caster VS debate

I dislike drow for their chaotic stupid outlook but generally don't mind elves

I feel that CYOA threads belong with quests, off-board. They seem like an earlier version of quest threads that only got to stay by virtue of being here first

also hot girls seem to do better in groups with better looking/dressed guys, just like fa/tg/uys start getting rowdy & insecure with them. I think seating like opposite from like - solely in terms of attractiveness - actually does have big effects on the fluidity of a night.

at least putting the prettiest face in the room directly across from me makes my night more fun.

I got a little flustered during a decent session.

I don't want to give the full context, but we were setting up a fight with a female dragon. It was a sort of honorable duel type of thing, right? So we were just squaring off and talking about shit.

Suddenly, a male dragon wings out of the sky and tackles her. Our sort of cute female DM describes him on top of her quite vividly. Then the other dragon bites her in the neck.

I didn't like the last bit as much, but for some fucking reason the rest of really got under my skin. I handled it well, and I don't think anybody noticed, but it scared me.

>I don't like the idea of playing old editions because it stinks of nostalgic stupid rather then the belief that its better
I'd say you're missing out, but with an attitude like that, you're probably too dumb to recognize better.

because anthromorphic animals invite furries who cannot keep their furry interests to themselves

Let it go,man. We are not taking the bait.