Things fighters say, but not paladins

Things fighters say, but not paladins.

>Maybe we shouldn't charge headlong into the dragons' den.

Now why the hell would I waste a perfectly good day at a church Unless it was to kill the Head priest of the Grumpy Crocodile God, Offler, and raid his temple?

I have to figure out what my next feat is

Maybe you're right after all

>Paladin of Offler
>You son of a Bitch...

>"Save your riddles for the literate!"

I have no use for altar boys

Maybe we should cut off their heads. You know, to frighten the others?

Whores! Whores for every one!

Look, I don't know what you're planning on doing in the city, but as long as it doesn't get us screwed over or thrown in jail, I'm fine with it. What you do with your free time is none of my business.

No user, you're thinking of Barbarians, not fighters.

Retreat

>sword-chucks

I failed a Will save. Again.

God damnit.

>"I don't care if you're a princess! Move, bitch!"
>"What's a 'quandry'? Is it some sort of elf food?"

>"I could murder a Good curry right about now".

I wish I had something to do out of combat

Oh man, that duel really tired me out. Time to go wreck that pussy.

...

"I love my job."
"Cards, anyone?"
"Hey, I knew that bandit!"
"You're gonna have to pay me extra."
"What happened to the ale?"
"Which way to the arena?"
"If only we hadn't spared that kid..."
"Okay, but don't expect your princess's chastity to be intact."

>Yes, even the goblin children.

You can't make me fall, I have climbing gear!

"Let's have some fun!"

Strength sucks.

...

Collateral damage? Good idea!

Holy shit look at that weird-ass weapon!
I think I'll spend 30 seconds becoming expertly proficient at it.

"You know what, Maybe fighting Dulthamor the devastator of worlds, eater of gods, Emperor of evil, Creator of chaos, Pussy Master, Wielder of the axe of destruction, Master of orcs, demons, devils, and anything evil everywhere, is not a great idea"

>Grumpy? Thaf'f ridiculouf!

> Good and bad are very complicated matters. Things that people might call "illegal" or even "evil" on the first glance can actually be quite beneficial to the society as a whole.

We're burning the temple of pelor to the ground, it's more efficient than saving three townsfolk, and we can claim these bandits desecratef it and claim our reward for little actual work

Every time I see that image, I realize the Ass-blades are the most practical weapons out of the whole lot.

I fall? How much damage do I take?

This is what happens when you grope the waitress one too many times.

"I neither enjoy spanking nor being spanked."

I wish weapon feats could change like that

I wish I could cast spells.

"So glad i could work in some adventuring around my raping routine in town."

". . .and then, I says to him; I said: fuck your god. Then I pissed all over his alter and set him on fire. Naturally, I go back every spring."

"Signs that your thief isn't up to the task."

"Oh, I don't have trapfinding, I'm not that kind of thief!"

>"I'm a little nervous... it's my first time."

When you ask him to pick a lock, he points and says "That one."

Underrated post.

>"Don't worry, I brought a whole shitload of lock-picks in case I run into a hard one!"

>"Can't I just crouch in front of him and then roll my Stealth so he can't see me? It's like Skyrim, right?"

>Nope, no traps here.

"Maybe that treasure isn't worth the effort."

I'm just stacking up those Lay on Hands bonuses til the day I die.

opens the door with his large forehead

Why would I need rope if I can just climb?

"When you meet your God, tell him I'm coming after him next..."

"Oh, and tell him I said he's been a deity for less than 3 days, who the hell does he think he is by putting up statues of himself posing like he's gonna take a shit everywhere? Have some decency man."

"Thief's tools? No I spent all my gear money on arrows."

Haven't burst out like this in a long while, god bless your rolls man

...

Perfection.

You win.

Someone drew this shit and thought it was the coolest fucking thing.

>Er you did guys bring extra lock picks?
>Ok there are no traps here; you guys go first.

No, I don't have any money. I just donated it all to charity.(Charity specifically. If it's to an orphanage or a church, well... that doesn't reflect well on either of those establishments)

>Lock picks, what's that?
>Part member explains
>"Why can't I just break a window using a brick?"

how does she sit in that?
also she can wear pants aswell if she goes full Quail-man.

"I hit him in the groin."

What is this, a picture for kender?

Best.

Nah, the picture is still there, isn't it?

>Hitler did nothing wrong.

Eye must axe you a question.

FUCKING ASS Veeky Forums DO NOT SMOKE WEED BEFORE READING THIS FUCKING THREAD

Kek

Calm the fuck down man. Get yourself situated and watch yourself a nice relaxing movie. I recommend Sausage Party, which is on Putlocker.

Charity is the name of the barmaid.

I'm from California I'm fine

>Hey guys, come grab some of this loot!

>I say we pick them off with arrows when they charge.
>Make sure we have prisoners to interrogate.

Is her eyepatch...a hook-hand?
Is she some kind of turbo-pirate?

>not playing a paladin in service to the hidden society of Vril, the coming gods below tibet

No, you don't understand. I NEED someone to report back to me after watching that insane shit while they're on something.

Thief, not player, user.

>I bravely stabbed you!

"You stabbed him in the back!"
>Yeah, it's not my fault he ran away.
"Stabbing a fleeing opponent is not brave!:
>I was still facing him. That makes me the brave one!

>Stupid sword
>dildo knife
>eye axe
>ass blades

I have questions...

>"Thanks for the gold. If any monsters come back just let us know."

Criminally underrated

10/10