Think of a chapter of Space Marines. Chaos counts

>You're in my bunk, fleshling. You know what that means...

>Imperial Fists

I AM FORTIFYING THIS DOMICILE

>Come home to gore soaked appartment
KHAAAARRRRNE!!!!!!

AH YES, THESE WILL MAKE FINE GUN PORTS!

>Alpha Legion

I say we take off and nuke the whole city from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

>Thousand Sons

He probably doesn't do much since he's just an animated suit of armor. That is, until he gets his war call.

>Crimson Fists

Pretty cool. One of the more chilled Chapters. I like Fajitas.

>blood Ravens
On the one hand, I lose everything but the skin off my back.

On the other, as long as I live with him, I get to enjoy all the things he stole from the local best buy.

Eh, could be worse, but his hectoring can grate. No, I'm not going on a diet, Thawn-Fehl, and I didn't update my resume today either. Jeez.

We shall make the greatest of Tree Houses, small, pale, people.

Same here.

Fun for a while until he goes apeshit and kills us both.

>Blood Ravens
I hide my stuff.
All of it.
Not that it would do much good, but it's worth a shot.

>space wolves
i eat drink and die, literally from drinking straight jet fuel

>thousand sons
Well, I mean, he'll like the fact that my room is 50% books. He won't like the pet dog though. Also he is the size of my room.
I'm assuming this is a sorcerer. If it's a rubric, I make a living renting him out as a bouncer.

>Implying that they're the room mate.
>Implying that you weren't 'gifted' into being the room mate of a Blood Raven.
>Implying you wouldn't enjoy gifting and re-gifting along side them.

>White Scars
...who? Oh wait, yeah I remember now. Yeah he's a bro. Barely around though, keeps going off on his bike, fuck know what he does. Sorta forgettable in a weird way, which is a shame as when he's around he's great.

>Raven Guard

Not bad. His Chapter culture is respectful of regular mortals. And given that he's a sneaky beakie, after he widened some of the doorways I bet I wouldn't even notice he was there.

>Dark Angels

Well, as long as I don't ask him any questions ever or open his door or bother his little hooded thing he should be a perfectly fine roommate.

What would Christmas be like in the blood Ravens dorm?

Reverse Santa. They go out and "receive" gifts from everyone else, instead of giving gifts.

Either Everyone would buy themselves a fancy gift, then steal from someone else and they'd call that a gift exchange, or they'd sneak over to the UltraSmurfs dorm and steal their stuff for the gift exchange.

It would be like second Christmas all over again

And yet somehow he always eats all your leftovers.

I thought Marines Malevolent.

I'm thinking he leaves giant messes for me to clean up, eats all my food, never pays rent, loudly trains at all hours, steals my stuff, and graphically threatens my life if I dare complain.

>Ultramarines.

Time to have the most well ordered and structured house on the block.

>Raptors

I can imagine he will make a chore rota, or some other thing to make the house run as efficiently as possible.

>Emperor's Childrens

Everynight will be the longest, funnest nights, ever. Unti he's began to bitch about my hair is not on his "standards"

> The Hung
Please excuse me while I kill myself.

>Salamanders
FIRE
EVERYWHERE

shitty forced meme is shitty and forced

I live in a sketchy part of town, so a 8 foot tall roommate would be great. Are we all sure SM's cant do love and or sex? Because I'd be so down for a Salamander BF/husband. Regardless, just having him around and paying half the rent would be great. I bet he's a great cook to with all his love of fire. Sign me up.

oh my god you are fucked haha

Guardians of the covenant.
well it would be nice to have a study buddy and he would be great for pub quizzes

>Thousand Sons

Either very, very quiet or I'm going on a magical school bus to a hell dimension.

Haha, he'd show up and suddenly you have 2 dead bolts on your door, all your lightbulbs are changed over to LEDs and your balcony has sandbags.

>Iron Warriors
W-well it's not like I want to live or anyway

>Get home from lectures
>Gross fatty tube-fed semi-daemon where the beds used to be
>She wheezes for help
>Iron Warrior roommate grabs me and ties me to a rack
>Strips the skin from my body with a blunt carrot peeler
>Cuts open the Daemoncubula
>Shoves me inside, stitches up the wound
>Emerge as a 9 ft slaughterhouse
>I'm in the Blue Peter studio

Iron Warrior: "AND HERE'S ONE I MADE EARLIER!"

>Oh, and I burst into treats

Iron Warriors are pretty much the best possible chaos choice. They would be safer to be around than a lot of loyalist chapters. Unless there's a minefield that needs crossing, then you are getting sent on a one way mission.

World eaters

How long would I last

he fucking leaves post-its with codex astartes reminders on everything. when i ignore them he just glares disapprovingly though

>also annoying how he jerks off into my soundsystem

Same problem here

The temptation to bother the hooded thing is the hard part.

*a freak promethium fight accident

>Emperor's Nightmares

My electricity bill is about to take a sharp incline

>Dark Angels

>Hey bro, what's up?
>WHAT?! Nothing! I mean, nothing much going on! Yeah, that's right. Nothing is happening, nothing has happened, nothing ever happened. Dark Angels have no secrets. Do you have secrets? Secrets are for heretics. And we're definitely not heretics.
>Relax dude, I just asked about-
>THE FALLEN DON'T EXIST AND HAVE NEVER EXISTED FUCK YOU *BLAM*

>Emperor's Children

I imagine it'd be something like if the hypothetical offspring of Slurms McKenzie and Andrew W.K. hosted what the Girls Gone Wild commercials make horny 14 year olds think Girls Gone Wild actually is. Every single night. With metal.

>Black Templars

I start going to church more and become pretty damn good at swinging a sword.

Depends, how angry and crazy are you willing to be on a daily basis with a Berzerker as you buddy?

Ultramarines

I hope it's on of the good ones, like captain titus.

>The Purge
And I'm dead.

my house is already like that.

Space Wolves

Oh Emperor, my liver

It would be like living with your father or bossy older brother.

>Iron Warriors
Recently I came across an opportunity to buy small infantry bunker from late 30's. I'll promptly see if the offer's still up...

no, I'm the one that made it like that... I live alone

Really? Because my dad showed up to my place for his birthday dinner and then installed lights. It's totally a dad and Imperial Fists thing to do.

Well, my friends do say I am very dad-ish. Despite my dislike of children.

Death Guard, hands down.

Well, fuck. At least I get to become a Nurglite?

>Salamanders

I always wanted a fireplace in my room anyways.

Also VULKAN LIVES

>Iron Hands
"Behold! i have attached a drill, TO MY GROIN!"

Death Guard. It would smell less than my current roommate.

Are you sure your roommate isn't already a death guard initiate?

Listen here, motherfucker. The only way that I'm going to be comfortable with a Storm Warden being my roommate is if that motherfucker is a Tempest Blade. I'll accept the fact that literally nobody will be allowed to know where I live if it's a Tempest Blade, simply because I am willing to learn. A lot.

He's a "metalhead" freshman. This retard has a collection of his own hair and peanut shells in his desk drawer. Literally a whole drawer full of hair and peanut shells. I'm scared of him.

user, sounds like you already have a nurgle worshiper as a room mate

That's not Nurglite... that's a Slaaneshi in training.

Your not doing a good job of convincing me you aren't a dad. and honestly, if the emperor is the model the space marines have for father love, you'll either fit right in or do better.

>salamanders

seems fine.

>Storm Warden
I guess I'm leaning how to play the bagpipes or something.

Well, I guess I have to cleanse him with fire now.

>black templar
I live in a storage closet and sleep on a fold out couch, so shit's gonna get wicked gay wicked fast.
That aside, if I lived in the 40k world I'd be a psyker so shit's gonna get wicked heretical wicked fast.

>Minotaurs
He's such a fucking dick.
Still better then my old roommate the Commissar.

>Alpha Legion
I've never met him. Or maybe I have but I don't know? Who even am I? Am I Alpharius?

>Space Wolf
Hope he likes Polish alcohol.

does poking it with a ten foot pole till it squeals as bothering?

>Space Wolves
>Not liking any kind of alcohol
I'd be more worried about the whores laying around your place constantly between getting rutted. Or the wolf hair on absolutely everything.

No. Just because I want to see what the Dark Angel does to you.

Does Doomrider count?

>Word Bearers

Would definitely be super preachy and constantly trying to force his beliefs and views down my throat. I would probably give in and end up going to one church meeting of his and never talk about it again.

>Angry Marines.

Night Lords.

I try in vain to talk him out of killing me, then show him my copy of the Night Lords omnibus. If he reads it, I attempt to leave and contact the authorities.

>Hey we're gonna grill on the balcony, Captain Blackface is running the grill
>THE PROMETHIUM RUNS DRY! HONORABLE ROOMIE, FETCH ME ANOTHER TANK
>Flames can be seen from space
>Still the best fucking brats you've ever tasted

>blood angels
bro tier

>angry marines
its not like i like having a house

>Still the best fucking brats you've ever tasted
>brats
user, he's a salamander, not a night lord

he makes crème brûlée with a re-purposed jet engine and it still tastes better then anything you could ever make
the poisonous residue makes it all the more delicious

As long as he's not one of those guys who insists on keeping his motorcycle in your living room. Get a storage unit or a garage for that shit!

>bräts
German slang for a specific type sausage.

you have to be fair, not even germans know most, or many at all, types of slang in germany.